Menfriends and the Love Yourself Cafe

Read, and see if you can identify:

Why all the fuss about men’s friendships? Is it only about men needing buddies? Is it merely that men are realizing they need each other to ward off the loneliness and envy that ensue when women get together with each other and leave them out? Or is there also some potential for progressive social change in men’s soul-searching about friendship?

Discussions of men’s friendships traditionally begin with the way men have learned to distance each other and keep their cards close to their chests as they climb up the hierarchy in a dog-eat-dog world. Then, there is the issue of homophobia. And, of course, it’s all true. There was that list of rules for boys on the schoolyard, including “Never walk away from a fight,” “Never let the other guy know he hurt you,” and “Don’t do anything that will lead other guys to think you’re gay.” And the rules did serve to prepare us for survival in that dog-eat-dog world. So, as adults, we don’t touch each other, we don’t linger too long in an affectionate glance and we certainly don’t get too tearful in male company. Thus our interactions with each other seem dead. We prefer the company of women–there’s more vitality, more opportunity to talk about personal things, and less risk of “being shafted.” And, when asked about friends, many of us complain that “there isn’t a really good friend.”

Source: Kupers, Terry A. 1993. Menfriends. Tikkun 8(2): 54.

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How about joining the Love Yourself Cafe on February 11? It is a safe place for men (people like us) to engage in casual conversations, on various topics rarely discussed in other fora. Tara? Click here. Deadline for registration is on January 31, 2012.

Photo credit: Ian Felix Alquiros

Dieciocho Pa Lang Si Jay 4

DieciochoAng nakaraan: Masipag ang dila ko, paikot-ikot sa tuldok na iyon sa kanyang dibdib, pagkaminsa’y pumipitik, akmang kakagatin ngunit hindi. Napapasabunot si Jay sa sarap, pero nilalabanan ko ang paghila niya papalayo ng ulo ko sa dibdib niya. Sa pag-ungol niya, walang pag-aalinlangan, ito na nga ang pearly gates of heaven para kay Jay.

Pero bakit titigil sa tarangkahan kung maaari namang pumasok nang lubusan? Bakit tatambay sa gate kung mayroon namang naghihintay na langit sa looban?

Mabilis kong inalis ang pagkakabutones ng shorts niya. Tumambad, mula sa tarangkahan, ang tungkod ni San Pedro. Makinis, amoy malinis, tila ba nang-aanyaya. Naghuhumindig ang pagkakatindig.

Hindi ako nakapagpigil.

Sa puntong iyon, para kaming mga ulo ng balita — nagbabaga. At kapag binuhusan mo pa ng gasolina, alam mo na ang mangyayari. Hindi na nga ako nakapagpigil. Sa unang pagkakataon, mula sa pagsipsip ng kanyang utong, humagibis pababa ang aking bibig, sa direksyon ng tungkod ni San Pedro.

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Best Sensual Masseur in Metro Manila

I’ve tried Hiro, Eric, and just tonight, Ronnie. (Yes I was at Bay Leaf Spa in Quezon City.) If this guy Ronnie would consistently do to other clients what he did to me tonight (I got the Signature Massage with Body Wash), I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d be the most sought after masseur in Bay Leaf. He was very attentive to my needs (very maasikaso), knew the right points to massage, and in terms of the sensual part of the massage, it was just about right, arousing but not over the top, just enough to bring you to a certain level of pleasure and sustain you there. Tall, toned muscles taut and tight, with good enough ‘bad boy’ looks, Ronnie has a fighting chance to be the best sensual masseur in Metro Manila.

Now that gave me an idea. Perhaps I should name my best sensual masseur every quarter. So far, for the first quarter of 2012, Ronnie would be it for me. Will he officially clinch the title by end of March? We’ll see. For now, he’s the one to beat.

Any challengers you would suggest?

The Jan Wan Fabcast 2

Here’s the 2nd part of our January One fabcast – recorded on the first day of 2012. This is where we answer random questions from fabcast listeners. Have fun!

LISTEN (Part 2):


Download this fabcast (right click and save)

Produced and edited by Joel McVie!
Music credits:
“Ask” by The Smiths
“Une Very Stylish Fille” by Dimitri From Paris

Watch: “Home for the Golden Gays” the documentary

When I was a kid, I would usually get the question, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

Naw that I’m all grown up, nobody asks usually, but it pops in my mind quite frequently — “What would you like to be when you grow old?”

A short documentary film (length: 13 minutes) was crafted on the unique house in Pasay City called the “Home for the Golden Gays.” The film, in its entirety, has been uploaded on YouTube for everybody’s appreciation. Wanna watch? Click here.

About the film: On a quiet side street, tucked away from the noisy, polluted traffic of the city, there is a special place. Since 1969 Home for the Golden Gays has been a refuge for the elderly and vulnerable gays of Manila. A home for those, who have nowhere else to go, for those whose families have rejected them, and for those who simply want to be in the company of other elderly gays.

The short documentary ‘Home for the Golden Gays’ tells the story of 80-year-old Leony, who spent most of his life as a prostitute for the American soldiers, 52-year-old Frederica who was abandoned by his mother at age 7 for being too ‘girly’, and 58-year-old Semmy who spent his whole life hiding his sexuality. Now Semmy is considering visiting the house, but “God created us as man and woman,” as Semmy has been taught. What will his son think of him if he goes?

Home for the Golden Gays is a short documentary film created by Nola, Dennis, Theis and Timothy for the Danish Foreign Ministry in the summer of 2010.

More info on Home for the Golden Gays: Click here.

Rommel Torres


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Looking For Volunteers

Are you looking for opportunities to help out in stopping the spread of HIV/AIDS among people like us? We’re forming a special team of bright young men (PLUs) to help the cause. For this special team, here are the qualifications:

1. Willing to be trained (trainings are scheduled during weekends)
2. Strong interpersonal communication skills
3. Working professional, has shown some level of success in school, business, or corporate career
4. Gay or bisexual male – has intimate understanding how it is to be one

Trainings consist of 3 tiers and are highly selective. First set of trainings is scheduled in February, entitled “Self-Empowerment Workshop.” There will be 3 batches of 18 participants each (Feb 4-5, Feb 11-12, and Feb. 18-19.) It is an overnight training and will be held in Malate, Manila. Food and overnight accommodations are provided for chosen participants. For those interested to be considered for this training, kindly fill out this registration form.

Beki Talk: Usapang Araling Panlipunan

Nagsama-sama na naman ang isang lupon ng mga bakla kagabi, ang Fabcasters, at matapos ang isang bonggang dinner ay tumambay sa kapihan. Napunta ang usapan sa Araling Panlipunan. Tingnan ang kahahantungan. Basa!

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-Ako naabutan ko pa yung subject na Araling Panlipunan. Ano na nga yung bagong tawag dun?
-Sibika at Kultura?
-Hindi, HeKaSi — Heograpiya, Kasaysayan, at Sibika.
-Ayun, HeKaSi.
-HeKaSi bata!
-Naalala mo pa yung MaPhilindo?
-Anubeh, yun yung bago mabuo yung ASEAN, MaPhilindo muna–Malaysia, Philippines, Indonesia. O-ha!
-Eh yung HukBaLaHap?
-Ay, alam ko yan! Hukbong Bayan Laban sa Hapon!
-Eh yung HukBaLaHop?
-Anesh?
-Hukbong Bakla Laban sa Hiphop!
-Hahaha! Kaloka!
-Eto, HukBaLaKang! Hukbong Bakla Laban sa Kangkang! In other words, ayaw sa anal sex, g0y daw sila, chupa lang!
-Ngayon may bago na. HukBaLaheeev– Hukbong Bakla Laban sa HIV!
-Putris, HIV na naman ang usapan!
-Eh di HukBalaSi — iwas syphilis!
-Hahaha!
-Eto pa… HukBaLaGo — bawal ang gonorrhea!
-HukBalaCrabs — no to pubic lice!
-HukBaLaWarts! Down with Genital Warts!

The Jan Wan Fabcast

We welcome the new year by recording a New Year Fabcast — right smack on Jan. 1st! We start the ball rolling by entertaining questions from our podcast followers. FUN FUN FUN! It’s more fun to be gay in the Philippines!

Listen to Part 1:


Download this fabcast (right click and save)

Next Fall — real and relatable, detailed and palpable

I watched a “gay play” last Thursday. “Next Fall” is Repertory Philippines’ initial offering as it celebrates its 45th anniversary.

Front and center in “Next Fall” are two touchy subjects: gay love, and religion. It’s the story of Adam and Luke, a gay couple living in New York, as challenged by situations brought about by their differences in religious beliefs, as well as issues on coming out, sex, age gap, family, etc. Despite the play being thoroughly American, gay guys here wouldn’t feel so detached from the issues that surround the characters. I love the way the play exposes the issues — they are so real and relatable, detailed and palpable. In one instance, Adam reaches out to Luke’s former bestfriend to consult him, “Why does he pray after we have sex?” That scene is golden — funny and moving at the same time.

Kudos to the cast for mostly wonderful portrayals, particularly Bart Guingona and Miguel Faustmann, impressive performances.

For people like us, single or partnered, hitched or hoping, here’s a moving comedy that I recommend for you to experience. Those who get bored listening to dialogue may want to skip this, but those who can stay put, watch, listen, and feel would gain heaps. In my book, 4-and-one-third stars, out of 5, plus a generous dash of glitter powder.

“Next Fall” runs from Jan. 13 to Feb. 5, with shows on Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. and matinee shows on Saturdays and Sundays at 3:30 p.m. All performances are at Onstage, Greenbelt 1, Makati City. For tickets, inquiries and other information, call Repertory Philippines at 571-6926 or 571-4941 or e-mail info@repertory.ph. Tickets are also available through Ticketworld at 891-9999 or www.ticketworld.com.ph.

[Photo credit: JR Sala]