Free, confidential, and very accessible — at Victoria Court – North EDSA. Sign up here: go.loveyourself.ph/protectandlove
Hi to all.
Matagal ko nang gusto ishare tong nararamdaman ko. Sa mga tao kase na
katulad natin, sobrang hirap humarap sa mga tao na straight ka. May
mga bagay kang nagagawa or nasasabi na out of your nature.
Im 26 years old. Nagtatrabaho sa isang semiconductor company ditto sa
Cavite. May dadalawang taon na ako dito. Bilang isang computer
engineering graduate, at sa isang semicon ka pa nagttrabaho, expected
na puro kalalakihan ang makakasama mo sa trabaho. Masaya kase puro
boys. Pero looking on the other side, sobrang hirap.
Marami na rin akong nagustuhan sa mga nakikilala ko dito. Pero share
ko na lang itong latest kong interest.
I have a co-worker here na of my same age. Pero he looks younger than
me. Tahimik, may hitsura, at medyo mahinhin ang kilos. Not mahinhin in
an effeminate way pero yung hindi brusko. Ganun sya kumilos kaya
lagging inaasar or niloloko xang ‘lambo’ or bakla. Once kaming
nagkasama sa isang project. Matagal ko na rin syang kilala pero sa
isang project ko lang sya napansin. We worked on a software
development sa isang machine sa company. It lasted for a month. Sa
isang buwan na yun, dun kami naging close.
Clicngy sya. Laging nakaakbay sa akin. Sumasandal sa skin. Pinapatong
nya ulo nya sa arms or sa balikat ko once he take some nap. Nung
nalaman nyang may kiliti ako, lagi na nya ako kinikiliti. Tapos kung
tignan nya ako, parang may ibig sabihin. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba
itong nararamdaman ko pero nahuhulog na ako sa kanya.
Out of my desperation, I texted him using a different number to show
how much I like him. Sinabi ko sa text na how beautiful he is as a
man, how he kills me with his smile, how he made my day when I see
him. And I told him sa text na gusto ko sya. Sinabi ko rin na lalake
ako at wala akong lakas ng loob magpakilala kase baka magbago yung
pagtingin nya skin bilang katrabaho.
Gusto ko maging close kami. Yung tipong comfortable sya na sabihan ako
ng mga bagay bagay. He’s not very open pa naman about his personal
life. Siguro hindi lang sya sanay na inoopen sa iba yung buhay nya.
Gusto ko iparamdam sa kanya na mahalaga sya sa akin. Gusto ko
iparamdam sa kanya na nagmamalasakit ako sa kanya.
Nung may sakit ssya pero pumasok pa rin sya, kitang kita ko na
nahihirapan sya sa sitwasyon nya. Namumutla na sya at nilalamig pero
trabaho pa rin. Sobra kong naawa. Gusto ko syang awatin sa pagttrabaho
para makapagpahinga. Inakbayan ko sya inhope na mawala ng konti yung
panlalamig nya. Gusto ko na syang yakapin nun ng mahigpit. Pero
pinangunahan pa ako ng takot at kaba. Mahal ko na siguro yung taong
yun para maalala ako ng ganito.
Hay. Ang hirap. Naluluha na lang ako pag tinitignan ko sya sa malayo.
gusto ko sabihin sa kanya kung sino at ano ba talaga ako. Kaso
natatakot ako na baka magbago tingin nya sa akin. At alam kong ganun
ang mangyayari. Ilang beses ko na tong naramdaman sa isang lalake.
Nagtapat ako, at ganun nga ang nangyari. Sobrang hirap. Pano ko ba
makukuha ang loob nya? Kahit maging super close friends lang kami ok
na sakin. Basta lagi ko syang nakakausap at nakakasama.
* * *
Madalas dinadapuan tayo ng kung tawagin natin ay pag-ibig sa panahong wala tayong kamalay-malay. Sa panahong ni hindi pa man din lang natin naiintindihan ang kakaibang pakiramdam ukol sa ating pagkatao, ay bigla tayong dinadaluhong ng pakiramdam na siyang lalong nakapagpapalito sa atin. Tanong mo, “paano ko ba makukuha ang loob niya?”
Pansinin mo na ang iyong katanungan ay upang pumitas, kumaripas na umangkin. Bakit kaya?
Bilang advice, siguro hahayaan kitang gawin kung ano man ang iyong nasa sa loob. Sasabihin ko lamang siguro na bukod sa paglasap sa napakasarap na pakiramdam ng pagiging in-love, sana ay huwag mong kalimutan ang iyong sarili. Ang alagaan mo ang iyong puso, at bigyang pansin din kung ano ang makabubuti sa iyo. Tandaan: Hindi lahat ng maganda, masarap, o kaanya-anyaya ay kinakailangang angkinin. Minsan mas masarap nga na sila’y nandiyan lang, kasama natin, kahit alam mong puwede rin silang wala.
The photo doesn’t do him justice.
I was just at Bayleaf Spa the other day and was surprised that my favorite masseur–the most angelic-looking “bad boy” therapist of Bayleaf–Louie was in the house. So, of course, I got him. After the 1.5-hour session I can say he is now much better in many aspects of his service, great massage, very courteous, and very mindful of your relaxation and satisfaction.
Here’s another old photo of Louie (tatooed guy, shirtless, third from left) —
The guy has even better body definition now, only thing that did not change is his winsome smile and very maasikaso approach. I shall be back, Louie!
For inquiries you may text 0917-550-0248.
Open to all men who like men — sign up now: http://go.loveyourself.ph/boompatest
Who: Men – all types, preferences, age, shapes, and sizes!
What: Free testing for HIV, Syphilis, and Hepa B
When: 29 June 2014 – walk-in between 9AM to 4PM
Where: Victoria Court Malate (near Quirino LRT station)
Fee: P0.00 (it’s totally free!)
Sign up now: http://go.loveyourself.ph/boompatest
No need to bring anything, no need to fast, just bring yourself — walk-in and say, LoveYourself or #BoomPatest — and we’ll assist you.
A one-of-a-kind wholesome group meet-up for discreet men. On Saturday evening, 24 May 2014, 6-9 PM. Classy venue on Taft Ave., Malate, Manila. P300 door fee, includes dinner. Only selected participants (maximum 30) shall be sent invites and venue details. Limited slots – please register now. Final confirmation – go to at http://go.loveyourself.ph/dm24
If you have questions, email email@example.com
I want to know your opinion about this. Lately I’ve been watching gay porn and sometimes masturbate with it. It started out as curiosity. when I was a kid I’ve been watching porn together with my dad. Funny? but it’s true. So my dad loved to watch men-female porn which in fact turns me on. I get horny. I even watched it all alone. But when I’m in college I’ve met several gay friends and they invite me to have sex. I said no to their invitation. Then I was curious why they do it. So I researched about it untill I dare to watch gay porn. Honestly it turned me on. I get horny especially when I hear guys moaning. I told it to my best friend and he said to me I’m gay. I’m not gay…am I? I love guys but I don’t find them sexual partners. Help me to understand things…
* * *
If you are aroused by gay porn, most probably you will be aroused by the real thing too. Looks like you have not tried having gay sex. Try it — I don’t see anything wrong with trying it out. (Safer sex ha! Always use condoms and lube.)
Try to keep learning more about yourself. If you find that you are really attracted to men — then no problem Welcome to the club! It may be hard to accept at first, but definitely worth it to know this essential part of yourself.
Good luck and be happy!
What do you think of open relationships among gay men? Listen in to our newest fabcast!
“Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It” by Stars
“The Game Is On” (from the soundtrack of BBC’s Sherlock, season 1) by David Arnold & Michael Price
“Nobody’s Perfect” by Madonna
A casual get together for “discreet men” has been set on May 24, 2014. It is a wholesome and meaningful get together for men who are questioning, curious, or simply looking for kindred spirits. The venue will be in the Timog/Morato area (Quezon City). For those who would like to be considered to be invited to the event, register here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1fnmsNvq7–OMNMtBgfylyG0uCvIh8ISFQG4A2dACcC0/viewform
Upwards of 80% newly-diagnosed PLHIVs (People Living With HIV) are males who have sex with males (MSMs). People Like Us. Simply, us. Why?
Is it because we are having too much sex? Because we are going against nature, and nature’s way of telling us to back off is to terminate our kind by spraying us off with HIV?
Some give more rational reasons, the most plausible I’ve heard of is about stigma. But is this it, really? I have a different view.
I think many of us, because we were born this way, as were gradually gaining consciousness through our formative years, build on a sense of innate brokenness — we grow up and as we look within our families, we see we are different. We are not like ate, kuya, we are not like mom, much less like dad. We grow up alone, detached, and yet we learned how to adjust somehow, to normalize things externally. We do good in school, and many of us even finish with flying, scintillating colors. We do many, many good, if not great, things, and we are accepted, we get to belong, somehow.
But deep inside, we have left that innate brokenness unaddressed — hidden behind the shadows of bright accomplishments (or in some cases, the exact opposite). This innate brokenness eventually expresses itself in our carelessness with ourselves, our thirst for things despite the high risks involved. The gym became the sanctuary of many to achieve bodily perfection, something that somehow–but not quite–replaces the innate brokenness. Every trick, every “take-home” is a trophy to be offered to that internal god that constantly demands for external approval. “I had sex with that good looking guy, therefore I am desirable and attractive, right?” Splurging on high-ticket expenses– that red sports car, that penthouse loft, that Php13M piece of furniture–all to appease that sneaky feeling that one is not enough, so such expense, or the status symbol it actually buys, would compensate.
The reason for the concentrated HIV epidemic among MSMs is not too much sex — it is in the why of that sex. It is in the reasons why it seems okay not to take care of one’s self.
We will not solve HIV with just condoms, lubes, and testing till kingdom come. We need to start digging into ourselves, and ask difficult questions. Those that would cause us to reexamine how we really look at ourselves, how really have we embraced and accepted who we are as a human being with no innate crack or brokenness, just because we’re different. Dig deeper and you will meet a child–perhaps your 5-year-old self–and when you finally do, ask him what would make things better today. This is the HIV silver bullet.