Nov
21

Melanie Marquez: May Toyo Ako!

Fun, Personalities Entry Feed Trackback

melaniem-1.jpg

In the middle of a Pinoy gay lovers’ quarrel due to trust issues, expletives had been flying left and right, when suddenly an aggravated partner (let’s call him Gay #1) blurts out with all emotion:


If I want, I do!
If I won’t, I don’t!

Gay #2 stops to analyze what was just said and breaks in laughter. Gay #1 is confused, “Did I say anything funny?” Thanks to that accidental comic relief, the lovers’ quarrel had a literally happy ending.

Gay #1 and Gay #2 are my friends, and it’s so much fun being with them. And Gay #1 is so funny without even trying, everytime I’m with him I’m reminded of Melanie Marquez, the Queen Of Malaprop. Here are some of Melanie’s crazy quotes:

* * *

And the Base of My Observation Is …. (showbiz stripped May 14, 2005 GMA Ch. 7)

* * *

My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.

* * *

“I keep my crown in the voltage”

* * *

That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.

* * *

Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.

* * *

I won’t stoop down to my level.

* * *

Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?

* * *

‘Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.

* * *

Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo… Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.

* * *

We are lovers, not fighters.

* * *

Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.

* * *

I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.

* * *

Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)

* * *

Sumasakit ang migraine ko.

* * *

Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!

* * *

Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right.).

* * *

At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). “Oo nga,” said Melanie, “pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, “And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!”

* * *

Lastly, many people think Melanie “has toyo” — she herself “announced” it in this video:

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17 Comments So Far

  1. ;) ha ha ha, me toyo nga talaga!

    coco-loco at Nov 21, 06 at 5:01 am

  2. In fariness kakagraduate nya lang with Latin honors.. CUM LAUDE in Business Management.

    Ghel at Nov 21, 06 at 8:57 am

  3. …sa psba ba?

    bananas choking at Nov 21, 06 at 12:00 pm

  4. gravehhhh… tawa ako ng tawa dito!

    jase at Nov 21, 06 at 2:31 pm

  5. Read here:
    http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/storypage.aspx?StoryId=56867

    Melanie Marquez graduates with honors

    International model and beauty titlist Melanie Marquez graduated with honors at the International Academy of Management and Business on Monday.

    The actress, famous for her comedic grammar-challenged English, took hold of her hard-earned diploma with a degree in Business Management.

    She graduated cum laude after finishing the course in three years.

    All of her six children attended the graduation ceremony including Las Vegas-based Manuelito, her eldest son and love child with Sen. Lito Lapid.

    “This is a dream come true,” stated Marquez in an interview.

    Her message to her fellow graduates: “Don’t judge me, I’m not a book.”

    Ghel at Nov 21, 06 at 4:21 pm

  6. iba ka talaga Ms. Melanie

    Joven at Nov 22, 06 at 4:22 am

  7. she’s funny though! she’s doin for fun..she tickles me a lot!!!i like her sense of humor.. lol

    gorgeouseric at Jan 7, 07 at 10:20 pm

  8. only melanie marquez cud say that & WITH CONVICTION! wekhekhekhek

    rhoda at Jan 22, 07 at 10:45 am

  9. Oh well. Do you know that she had been voted as THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MISS INTERNATIONAL?

    dennis marquez at Nov 18, 07 at 11:36 am

  10. iba talaga si melanie marquez.

    and yea, i read before in globalbeauties.com that she won the most beautiful miss international…i think sya lang yata ng nakakakuha ng perfect scores in that pageant’s history…and also during a festival may local beauty title din syang napanalunan while she was competing for miss international title in japan.

    fattyacid at Dec 3, 07 at 11:49 pm

  11. GO GO GO MELANIE, IBA K TALAGA! KELAN K MAGLALABAS NG BUK (BOOK) MO?

    jeffstryker at Dec 19, 07 at 12:29 am

  12. bat ngayon ko lang to nabasa? ang saya!

    matt at Jan 20, 08 at 7:32 pm

  13. Super Fave ko ang commercial nya! May conviction ang announcement nya…may konting garalgal pa …kumusta nman yun?! XD

    joyleslie at Mar 24, 08 at 2:56 am

  14. i love you melanie!!!

    dan at Apr 17, 08 at 8:36 am

  15. This summary of Melanie quotes are really funny. I have worked with her for a few months. And I have actually witnessed how she wants to say a thing correctly and how her brain jumbles her words before she verbalize it. Such a character.

    lex bonife at May 14, 08 at 10:59 pm

  16. i luv it!!! i luv it,i luv melanie say it!!!lolz

    gaby?gosh at Sep 1, 08 at 9:51 pm

  17. kailan ba mag-a-out ang brother…este…book niya?

    lanz at Sep 18, 08 at 9:07 am

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