I received this email today:
Hi I’m Mark, and im married. Been in this marriage for nearly 2 yrs. i know myself and i know what i want. however what holds me back is that im afraid and dont want to hurt my wife whom i adore so much. She gave me everything..her trust..her name..her happiness..and for me to call it quits would definitely be devastating..i cant afford to hurt her that much..i love her.. i maybe horny all the time but after i get off all seem to go back where it should be.. i dont know but words coming from you will probably help me in anyway..thank you in advance..cheers
If indeed you know what you want then great — happiness is in the journey towards the achievement of your goals. You are one lucky guy: you have a wife who loves and trusts you, and you say you adore her so much. The convergence of this and what you say as “what you want” is the crux of the matter. I sense that instead of a convergence, though, you have a divergence.
If that is the case then another level of knowing the self is called for. This is a more difficult issue. The quick and clean solution is to go gay, and temporarily suffer the consequences of a failed marriage, then move on. But I believe it is not the only solution. I would dare say, try your best to save the marriage, and see if you can really go straight all the way. This can be very difficult because it is a life-long battle, but I believe it is not impossible. I know of gays who went exactly this direction and have been pretty successful.
Dear readers, maybe you can comment in your thoughts too?