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Happy Ending

2007/02/02IssuesTags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I received an email from Lizz, a UP Diliman Fine Arts student who is working on her thesis. Her topic is: Homosexual Tolerance in Society.

She emailed me to ask: “If you could give yourself a ‘happy ending’, what form would it take?” She goes on to illustrate some options like, “Is it acceptance from your family/friends/society? Or finding a loved one to share your life with?”

Interesting, I thought. Here’s what I have to say, Lizz.

- o -


My Happy Ending

I am gay, but that is just a part of me. As one of my readers (McVie) commented, “my homosexuality colors but does not define who I am.” Thus holds true too about my happy ending — it is not just a gay man’s happy ending, rather it is a happy ending of a person who just happens to be gay.

I am a very passionate man. It may be ambitious to state in so few words what this passion is all about, but still, I can attempt to do that — my passion is to grow, and to help others grow. I have a passion for growing which encompasses learning in many different levels. Learning with the mind, with the heart, with the body, and with the spirit.

I feel that only after stating these can I start to answer Lizz’s question about how I visualize my happy ending.

I would like my happy ending to be both a conclusion of my passions, and a hopeful continuation of the legacy I leave as a fruit of the purposeful life I have lived. (Wow, that was a mouthful.) I’m sure you will ask, does that in any way include acceptance, or tolerance of my homosexuality? I would answer, yes, it definitely does. However I consciously am not highlighting it because I believe that at a certain level of achievement, acceptance of my homosexuality is already a non-issue. Apart from that, I would wish that as I journey towards that “conclusion of my passions,” the issue of my being gay becomes not just irrelevant but it also should not hinder, better yet, makes the journey a more fun and exciting ride.

How will my happy ending look like? I envision it as follows:
* a family (parents, siblings, nephews, nieces, etc.) that is full of love, despite many challenges
* many friends, also full of love, as if they are family too. May include a loving partner, but it is not a hard requirement.
* a fulfilled and happy self, full of the many, varied learning experiences I’ve gone through, not devoid of failures but oveflowing with lessons learned and wisdom distilled, through action and reflection
* people, perhaps co-workers, friends, even family, who I have nurtured with love, and nourished with experiences and learning — they in some way are my sons and daughters, my gift to the continuation of a better human race.
* lastly, a legacy of some form, that propagates kindness (World Peace!) and further sharing even when I’m not anymore in this world.

How about you, dear readers, how do you envision your own happy ending?

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  1. #33  joshua

    happy ending…
    yes we do all want the same thing… loving family.. good set of friends.. we all dream of the same thing.. being somebody like me.. who is a young professional.. {and by young i mean young im only 18}. i think knowing that people already accepts and respect gay people like us would be enough.. let us not forget the fact that most of us are still mis treated by our fellow human beings.. there is nothing wrong with dreaming big.. what im trying to say is that.. lets make these dreams reality… and for us to do that.. we are going to need a stable foundation..

    i hope that all of our dreams come true…

    08/02/06 18:42

  2. #32  luckyclover12

    acceptance and understanding of my family. thats my happy ending and thats where my life will start again. partner is a bonus.

    07/12/26 18:02

  3. #31  Angelo

    Andrew, ganyan talaga ang buhay. Stay tough man! :-)

    07/02/06 11:09

  4. #30  andrew

    Thanks, Ace and Angelo, for those encouraging words. I’m grateful that there are people like you who I hardly know yet give a damn. :)

    Don’t worry, I’m feeling a lot better now. Mahirap lang siguro talaga maging miyembro ng third sex — maraming pagsubok at maraming sumusubok sa’yo. But that’s life, I guess.

    Anyway, sabi nga ni Sandara in her authentic Korean accent while doing the Sandara wave: “Mahal ko kayo.”

    07/02/06 09:51

  5. #29  Angelo

    Hey Andrew! Di ako sanay na malungkot ka! If we can be of any assistance, let us know. :-)

    07/02/05 19:21

  6. #28  Ace

    Andrew, I think deep inside you know that you are strong. I’m sure that you, like most readers here, have gone trough a lot before, so just draw from those experieces and you will find the strength to weather this trough. If you need it, (we)the readers can be your source of support as well. Remember, there is only one you and he deserves his place in the sun.

    07/02/05 03:24

  7. #27  AngeLLoveR

    it’s kind’a like what George Clooney & Catherine Zeta-Jones said in Intolerable Cruelty… “There’s a certain point when you achieve your goals, that you realize you’re still unsatisfied.”
    so… it’s kind’a like that.
    hopefully, not only I, but all of us don’t throw/walk away from the good things that we have going for us.
    *random gibberish mode*
    ^_^

    07/02/05 02:38

  8. #26  andrew

    Thanks, Ace, for the compliment. Pinipilit ko lang pasayahin ang sarili ko at kayo na rin, mga dear MGGers. But deep inside I’m going through a lot right now. I hope I can hold on.

    :(

    07/02/04 17:40

  9. #25  Kaleena

    Magpapalit ako ng answer. My happy ending would be in bed having non-stop sex with Jason Hawke, Mark Davis, Jon Hall, Miguel Garcia, Emilio Garcia, Neil Ryan Sese, Gino Paul Guzman, Allen Dizon,

    07/02/04 13:56

  10. #24  prock

    mababaw, pero i’d want it to end like this

    scene: well-lit grocery aisle. pushing a cart with my partner, our backs against the camera as we move towards the other end of the aisle. fade out…

    hehe sorry, movie addict!

    07/02/03 20:19

  11. #23  Little Fish

    I just wondered…..
    The question about “Happy ending” can be ask also to a heterosexual individual/person?
    Its like being ask, “Why you are gay?”
    Can we also ask, “Why you are male?”

    I find it so absurd and irrelevant, when people ask about gayness or being gay. I may sound pathetic.

    07/02/03 13:37

  12. #22  fukesah

    hay naku! Walang himala! walang happy ending! sa movies lang yan!!!!!!!(himutok, hikbi, atungal, padyak, ngawa, hagulgol, waaaaaaaah…………..takot ako!

    07/02/03 13:20

  13. #21  Ace

    I think everybody here pretty much said what I wanted to say. Migs, you have covered almost everything for a happy ending which translate for most people. I say almost because I think you forgot the part where you finally find that special someone to love and who loves you back. The same can be said about Jo…so many accomplishments and help for others but what about finding love with someone to complement ones life. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too romantic but I think we all deserve to be happy with someone. Is this notion too hetero? I don’t believe that someone can complete us (we have to be complete individuals first) but a special connection with someone can be so fulfilling. Thanks for a great blog, Migs. I don’t know how you find the time.

    Andrew, you crack me up. I think you already found your bliss. Keep it up.

    07/02/03 12:14

  14. #20  anton maton

    ganito kasi yon … if it ended then it was never happy to begin with … kasi ang happiness dapat walang ending!

    isipin mo na lang sister … kapag nag-end there will be tint of sadness at sasabihin mo bakit kailangan pang magwakas! divah? sabi nga ni megastar: Sanay wala nang wakas …!

    oh eano! talbog na naman kayong lahat sa sagot ko!

    ang walang kakupaskupas!
    anton maton
    miss super-dooper-megaover-universe-in-the-whole-wide-world

    PS. sorry na lang LIZZ at mali yata ang question mo about happy ending! yung lang!

    07/02/03 00:28

  15. #19  genesis17

    yah kapatid na andrew..

    agree ako syo……….

    07/02/02 18:25

  16. #18  Lyka Bergen

    My happy ending is to see Paradise…. the place God prepared for us…. to live with Him. Amen!

    07/02/02 17:31

  17. #17  josh

    happy ending??? d pa may movie na ganito ang title? Although I am not branded as anything and confided my fondness to the same sex to a transgender friend (she now resembles those really big like hawaiin women)when i think of a happy ending (sorry gusys & gals, serious ang tune nito ng konti) I want that when I am face to face with my God, he will be there to embrace me despite of what I have done and understands why i did such things with no such branding as homo or whatsoever!!!! amen :>

    07/02/02 17:04

  18. #16  mcvie

    My happy ending?

    On my deathbed, these would be my last words: “Goodbye, cruel world! At kung gusto ninyo malaman kung saan ko itinago yung 1.5 billion pesos ko, ito’y nasa… sa… ah… uhhh….” (sabay tigok)

    07/02/02 14:53

  19. #15  cliogoddess

    ako gus2 ko. ang ending ko. meron akong site na kasing sikat katulad ni netong kay migs~

    07/02/02 14:42

  20. #14  andrew

    Idagdag na rin natin ang walang kamatayang ‘world peace,’ kapatid na Genesis17, hahaha! ;)

    07/02/02 12:50

  21. #13  genesis17

    ok now…seriously
    a happy ending for me is
    “to love and be loved for who i am”
    as simple as that………

    07/02/02 12:41

  22. #12  genesis17

    host:NOW WE WILL BE NNOUNCING THE WINNER OF THE MISS UNIVERSE 2007 INTERPLANETARY AND INTERGALACTIC…..

    AND THE WINNER IS (DRUMS ROLLING!!!!!!!)

    MIGS!!!
    (people applauding !!!)

    and genesis17 will enter to transfer the crown..

    hahaha…mag feeling beauty queen dw ba ako…

    07/02/02 12:36

  23. #11  andrew

    2007 Miss Gay Interplanetary

    Lizz (pageant host): “If you could give yourself a ‘happy ending,’ what form would it take?”

    Andrew (contestant): “If I could give myself a ‘happy ending,’ that would have to be that the category homosexual be treated normally and equally like the other genders in our society, that people belonging to the so-called third sex be given the chance to explore the world freely and develop their own identity. Thank you.”

    Audience: (Klap, klap, klap. Thunderous applause. Wild cheering.)

    Lizz: “Thank you, Contestant No. 69, Andrew.”

    (Andrew then walks away with regal bearing and poise and this irresistable Close-Up smile thinking:

    Hmp! Ang totoo, mapangasawa ko lang si JANVIER DAILY masaya na’ko noh! Love you, Janvier!)

    LOL! :P

    07/02/02 09:09

  24. #10  jo

    If you want to have a happy ending, you should work for it NOW! A lot of people work so hard to prepare for the future and of course, it goes without saying that you want to be happy in the future with all the things you’ve worked hard for. Unfortunately, they forget the NOW. Puro na lang ‘para sa iyong kinabukasan’. Nakalimutan na nila na may mga tao sa paligid nila ngayon na napapabayaan na nila. The result, ‘Bakit nag-kaganito, pinaghirapan ko ito at napunta sa wala’ (full emote yon!). Sa sobrang trabaho, you forgot your health kaya lahat ng pinagpaguran mo, ginastos mo lang sa paga-gamot. Me, I’ve really worked hard for the things I’m really enjoying now. Kasi while I was working hard for the future, hindi ko pinabayaan ang pangkasalukuyan. The product of NOW will be seen in the FUTURE. Just like you Migs, I worked hard in the corporate world. OT dito-OT diyan, travels here and everywhere, and I worked my way up the corporate ladder. Finally, after acquiring a decent amount of savings, I decided to quit and put up my own business. Now, I’m reaping the things I’ve sowed. I no longer work, as in kayod-marino, because my money is doing the work for me. Yung mga dating boss ko na kung lait-laitin ako, napamangha sa akin kasi ka-rubbing elbows ko na ang mga who’s who sa corporate world, even my former big boss na boss pa rin nila. I now do the things I really wanted to do. At a still young age, marami akong natutulungan. Ipina-aral ko ang aming mga angels (maids) and one of them was able to finish college. And because of her loyalty, trustworthiness, and capabilities, I made her a manager in my company. I regularly contribute to the community’s home for the aged, continue to send someone to school, and yes, to help others in need kung saan ko makakaya. To me that’s happiness. Enjoying the fruits of your labor and being able to help your fellowmen. That to me could be one HAPPY ENDING.

    07/02/02 09:04

  25. #9  chriscapade

    My happy ending?

    siguro, a happy life with my family, with my own child, million dollar bank account, lots of hot cars, rest house sa tagaytay, baguio, cebu, boracay and bacolod, share sa Ayala Group of Co., Mark Nelson as my body guard, Troy Montero as my driver, Jericho Rosales as my personal assistant..

    ganun lang. happy na ko sa ganyan.

    07/02/02 07:49

  26. #8  tonskie

    im happy as gay as i can be..

    07/02/02 06:50

  27. #7  Kaleena

    Happy ending? Being accepted and loved for who I am by the people who matter to me. I guess that’s I haven’t come out yet, because I don’t how the people who matter to me will react.

    Being known not as a gay person but a person who matters and touches the lives of people he cares about.

    Having someone whom I will love and will love me back. And yes, satisfy my insatiable sexual cravings! Six times a day, baby!

    In short, my happy ending would be me having it all. Sort of like having my cake and eating it.

    07/02/02 01:46

  28. #6  Matteo

    Ako by the age of 35, I’ll be going away where nobody knows me. Basta no one’s gonna see me by the age of 35 — either I’d be dead by then or living a simple life outside the circle of people I know.

    Happy ending? — I think it’s more of a journey. I constantly look for my purpose, for that so-called meaning, luckily, I have found my mission so I’m quite happy now. So my goal is to fulfill that mission and map my life on that goal. That way, I have purpose and will be happy too.

    I’m also concerned that the more “we” make a big fuss about being gay, it’s just becomming passe. I think more and more people are accepting the fact that gays are part of the society already. Anyway, what am I saying? Hehe.Yun lang.

    07/02/02 01:18

  29. #5  Migs

    pang-miss universe nga, spock! so sa tingin mo, winner ba sagot ko, akin na ba ang korona? hahaha!

    07/02/02 01:07

  30. #4  spock

    pang miss universe ang tanong… ang sagot ko lang jan ay “to have experienced bliss” yun lang

    07/02/02 01:06

  31. #3  Migs

    @Lizz – thank you for the opportunity to share on the topic! Good luck on your thesis!

    @AngelLoveR – “to not have to walk away from a good thing.” Interesting. Say more!

    07/02/02 00:58

  32. #2  AngeLLoveR

    my happy ending would be…
    to not have to walk away from a good thing.

    07/02/02 00:51

  33. #1  Lizz Buenaventura

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Migs. Your insights are invaluable and cleared up a lot of my questions.

    This last point in particular was especially moving:

    >>lastly, a legacy of some form, that propagates kindness (World Peace!) and further sharing even when I’m not anymore in this world.

    Thank you again!

    07/02/02 00:16

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