Jul
18

Four Things I Cannot Decide For You

Issues, Love and Dating, Migs Speaks Entry Feed Trackback

I was talking on the phone with an elderly (mid-40s) gay guy last night. Two girl friends were just too excited for me to have another “long term relationship” so they paired me up with this “tall, subtle, good looking, and very intelligent” friend of theirs (description theirs). It was a breath of fresh air, really. It’s so wonderful to talk to such learned man, so experienced, and so full of wisdom. While on the phone, I was like a young boy eager to learn, listening and sitting at his master’s feet.

Of the many things we talked about one vignette that struck me was a conversation he had with his late Dad. Apparently, in his informing his Dad about his decision to switch careers (from the medical field to designing clothes), his dad said:

Son, there are four things I cannot decide for you, even if I wanted to. First, your political affiliation. You decide the political principles you believe in, and your idea of how society should be organized. Second, your religious convictions. I raised you up as a Catholic but if you ever so decide to be something else — a Moslem, a Protestant, whatever — then you should follow your conscience, not me. Third, your career. Your career is the one that will make you get of bed excited as you wake up, and get you going day in, and day out. It will be such a waste of life if you choose to make a career out of other people’s fancies. Lastly, your choice of life partner. You will be the one to love and live with that person, so it is really your decision to make. May it be a girl or a guy, son, you will decide for yourself. There is just one thing I want you to promise me, son: that whatever your decision may be, that you will be happy.

With that, a sliver of tear quietly slid down my cheek. Awwww.

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19 Comments So Far

  1. That’s one (or four) of the best things a father could ever say.

    Dan Gabriel at Jul 18, 07 at 10:47 am

  2. Hi Manilagayguy,

    It would really be nice if you can have more articles published in a day. I regularly check your site and sigh, walang bagong laman. hehe Careerin na! I really enjoy your site and I’m sure you can get paying advertisers like Bryanboy if you just had more updates.

    from1fagtoanother at Jul 18, 07 at 10:53 am

  3. I’m an avid reader of this blog but this is my first time to post a comment.

    That person was really lucky to have such a Father. My dad passed away when I was 21. We never had that kind of conversation not even once, Nothing that I could remember but I wish we had.

    webster at Jul 18, 07 at 10:55 am

  4. Aaaawww! I wish I also had the chance to have that father-son conversation, to which, next to impossible. I was never that close to him (my erpat). Until he already passed away, closed to 3 years ago. Sigh!!

    nell at Jul 18, 07 at 11:44 am

  5. @ webster – thanks for commenting in! Welcome to the MGG community!

    Migs at Jul 18, 07 at 2:54 pm

  6. if ever i be a dad, hehehe, i wish i could say exactly d same 4 thing to him/her ;-)

    josh at Jul 18, 07 at 6:17 pm

  7. i wish my dad was like that…

    blueharajuku at Jul 18, 07 at 11:05 pm

  8. SOBRA KA NAMAN, at past 40’s, ay elderly???
    i thought you have to be past 62 to be called senior citizen??? YOU’LL GET THERE TOO KAYA SOON….

    johnny at Jul 19, 07 at 4:45 am

  9. my dad did say those words to me thru ACTIONS

    he never complained, he just instilled on me to be respectable in this harsh world of ours. mom did the same.

    feels good to be free

    di sila as expressive nung dad ng guy na itu pero winner na rin :-)

    of all the articles posted here, this will definitely be my number 1 post read here at MGG.

    again, kudos to u migs! :-)

    *sigh

    James at Jul 19, 07 at 6:51 am

  10. thanks migs for posting this. i do hope my parents would eventually be able to tell me these things. :)

    ian at Jul 19, 07 at 9:44 am

  11. thanks migs for posting this. these are such inspiring words. i do hope my parents would eventually be able to tell me these things. :)

    ian at Jul 19, 07 at 9:46 am

  12. that made my day….:)

    red_hot at Jul 19, 07 at 12:34 pm

  13. i would say that to my father…

    tnoi at Jul 19, 07 at 1:38 pm

  14. :-)

    wrestler at Jul 21, 07 at 4:29 pm

  15. good daddy

    francis at Jul 24, 07 at 1:34 am

  16. aww….so sweet…. he he!

    randy at Jul 27, 07 at 5:40 am

  17. Haaayy!Thank God for fathers like mine!I love my dad!

    paul at Feb 1, 08 at 4:19 pm

  18. wish ko lang my father would say that to me or my. either. it doesn’t matter.

    luckyclover12 at Feb 25, 08 at 2:41 pm

  19. sana cya nalang ang father ko!

    pero i agree hindi pa elderly ang mid 40s!!! papatulan ko pa yan kung merong magparamdam… :P

    matt at Feb 25, 08 at 4:05 pm

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