Sep
05

Straight-Acting Gay Guy Speaks

Issues, Love and Dating Entry Feed Trackback

Straight-Acting Gay Guy (SAGG): “What pisses me off the most about being a straight-acting, naturally butch gay guy is that it’s so hard to find a partner.”

Migs: “Isn’t that the case for all, whatever gay flavor you are, whatever gender even?”

SAGG: “True. But for straight people, a straight guy for example would know exactly if someone is a girl, their target. For me it’s so difficult to know if someone is in fact like me, a straight-acting gay guy. Unless of course I meet him in a chatroom like #bi-manila in MIRC. And chatting is so time consuming. Ang dami pang fakers. Sayang sa oras!”

Migs: “Well, I guess we can consider your issue as a fact of life. Can I say, ‘just live with it’?”

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42 Comments So Far

  1. huh?

    maybe its because they have a very high standards as to what kind of partner they want…

    after all, all is fair in f**k and war… hehehe…

    Isaribi at Sep 5, 07 at 12:28 pm

  2. Huh? Parang ang labo….can I say it that is a little pretentious and snobbish of him to make such a statement?

    Tony at Sep 5, 07 at 12:47 pm

  3. It’s not that it’s hard to live with it. It’s easy to live with it..What’s hard is finding “the one”.

    You end up being very depressed and sad and wasted and you feel like you don’t belong to anything anymore…damn..

    Charles at Sep 5, 07 at 12:55 pm

  4. what? hirap ka makaalam kung he’s into homosexuality din? yun nga ang pinaka madaling part eh. yung malaman mo. dun sa previous post ni migs may nagcomment na makuha sa tingin. parang ganun din yun. makikita mo sa mata nila kung ano sila.

    whocares at Sep 5, 07 at 1:24 pm

  5. Well, I don’t have problems like that. Whenever I log on to my G4M account, I always have messages from this handsome guys who want to meet (and fuck)with me. Hehehe!

    Anyway, it’s very easy to distinguish a straight-acting gay guy from a ture straight guy. When you notice that he looks at you (in my case), then you’re sure that he’s one of us :)

    Adrammelech at Sep 5, 07 at 1:58 pm

  6. It’s hard to find a partner whatever your sexual orientation is…I know plenty of women who can’t find a decent man and vice versa. Relationships are complex. No matter if you’re gay straight bi lesbian…whateva…

    JHVRothschild at Sep 5, 07 at 2:05 pm

  7. isa lang masasabi ko, straight acting o hindi it all boils down to one thing, we all get down on our knees to suck cock. in in that sense, nobody is really st8 acting wen we cocks in our mouths. and if you’re having a hard time, that’s because you are prejudiced and arrogant. i totally agree with Tony’s comment.

    Seth at Sep 5, 07 at 2:24 pm

  8. and in that sense…wen we HAVE cocks….

    Seth at Sep 5, 07 at 2:26 pm

  9. i don’t think it has anything to do with being straight-acting. some people’s gaydars are just hopeless… like mine =)

    gay blogger in the closet at Sep 5, 07 at 2:29 pm

  10. i agree with gay blogger.. my gaydar is very defective. q=) napagkamalan ko pa nman ang isang fairy na straight!hahaha magaling lng cguro yun mg acting pra mkuha ako.hehe

    kulbogs at Sep 5, 07 at 2:48 pm

  11. ang taray ng lola koh. abah, siguraduhin mong dyosa ka sa tono ng pananalita mo ha?!! nagkalat ang mga veklores na alta-altahan sa pilipins. kung vahket me attitude, di ko mawari, di ko ma-gets. AH WAIT! defense mech. WAIT! BETTER! tropang ilusyonadah! mga bakla!! magpakatino nga kayo, bawas-bawasan ang drama. nag-iisa lang si juday sa earth LOL

    chenelynmarkado at Sep 5, 07 at 4:02 pm

  12. it is given, that for all gender, finding a partner is difficult. but if we isolate the out of scope issues, and retain the discussion between straight acting and effeminates, it’d harder for straight acting to find a partner. 1. because people assume that he only has inclination to liking straight acting guys too 2. his gay group is not as large in numbers as of those with effeminates and he never goes to bars crowded with OUTs 3. most of his interests are not gay and effems find his interests boring and vice versa 4. because he himself is not that serious towards having real romantic relationship, because he only wants to have a gymbuddy/fuckbuddy/gimmickbuddy/warmbuddy.
    5. because he is always not sure whether his straight acting prospect is gay or not, and he does not want to risk people finding out his preference.
    6. maybe because he wants to be with a man, and not necessarily to be in a gay world, there only few prospects exist.

    dowel at Sep 5, 07 at 4:03 pm

  13. aww my gaydar is not reliable when it comes to detecting SAGGs unless he comes out into the open. pero ok lang naman yun eh. kung doon sila masaya so be it.

    fattyacid at Sep 5, 07 at 5:14 pm

  14. Sana may secret code na finfollow ang SAGGs to know who is who…Para mas masaya ang buhay!

    Lee at Sep 5, 07 at 6:41 pm

  15. i get what he means. when you live your life as someone whom people naturally assume is straight because of your appearance or behavior whatever (or “straight-acting”), it can be hard to tell if a person sees you as gay (and therefore a possible partner) or straight (and therefore not a possible partner). it’s an issue of what is image and what is real and it can get jumbled up in the head of the person who’s used to the duality. imagine the interaction between two “straight-acting” guys who meet for the first time and who don’t tell each other their preferences. of course it’s problematic. does he know i’m gay? do i know for sure if he is? in the straight world, we can fairly assume all women are fair game to all men, and vice versa. with gay men, gender becomes an additional thing to hurdle to decide the next move. maybe in an ideal future, it shouldn’t be. but in our age, people are generally careful. i’ve written a lot about this in my other (secret) blog, hehe.

    but i think there’s something wrong with SAGG’s statement. maybe what he means is the root of the problem is his preference in men: straight-acting gay guys. and because it’s hard to tell if they’re homo or just plain hetero, he can’t make a move. as a consequence, he’s still unattached today. it seems to have nothing to do with whether or not SAGG is straight-acting himself.

    sorry for the long reply. :-)

    thebaklareview at Sep 5, 07 at 6:53 pm

  16. Why ever would you want to date someone like yourself unless, of course, you’re touched with narcissism (tama ba ang spelling..he he)? Variety is the spice of life, right??

    Homie at Sep 5, 07 at 8:06 pm

  17. ei po i nid help. im very much close now with these straight guy, and whenever we are together it seems like kmi na. im happy nmn kc ang lagi ko kc hinahanap na partner is a straight guy which is really hard to get nowadays. when i told him na kung wat if maging bf ko xa, he said yes, ok lang sa kanya. but as we all know pag straight guy and gay ang magkarelasyon, iba ang iniisip ng tao. na he’s for the money(wel i did offer a lil financial help though hehe), and that im after his body(well secretly…hehehe!) what does that make of us. kc he’s not abusado nmn and khit nung hindi pa kmi eh sweet and malamnbing na xa. xenxa na ha, cos the last tym that i had a str8 guy as my man was about 2 years ago. after that puro hook-ups and flings nlng. kaya parang grade one ako ule sa str8 guys. im a little baffled up. migs help po. it may seem parang stupid but i like him talaga. and he’s showing also the same affection. pls i nid a lil of your gayly support now.thanks!

    sire_lee at Sep 5, 07 at 8:12 pm

  18. @ sire_lee

    whatever works for you honey, then go for it. As long as you’re happy and safe i don’t see anything wrong with what you have right now. Enjoy it and learn from it, while it lasts.

    Seth at Sep 5, 07 at 9:18 pm

  19. oh my G.0.D. I really d0nt get the t0ne of the issue here. I dont knw if its discriminatory, self-serving, or what n0t. Maybe im just too tired to comment….guess i ate too much popadum, rotti, and curry. Ho-hum.

    earl at Sep 5, 07 at 10:35 pm

  20. excuse me! baka nagfi-feeling mahaba ang hair ng lola mo kahit di naman kagandahan.

    what a pity. siya rin ang nag-i-impose ng mga hurdles towards his own happiness by setting up high expectations. lest he forgets we live in an imperfect world.

    titi lang ang katapat mo!

    forever mahaba ang hair,

    anton maton

    anton maton at Sep 5, 07 at 11:40 pm

  21. well, mahirap nga yan… when you find a cute guy, you have to consider if first, he’s really gay (straight-acting ha??), may pagasa for you to hook up, or me syota na ba sya (gel or boy) :p

    ems at Sep 6, 07 at 2:29 am

  22. Guys,

    Live and let live. To each his own. You have to accept the fact that gay guys are naturally attracted to masculine guys. Sige nga, have sex with Emmet or Brian? (QAF) Here’s what I always say, if I would go for an effeminate boy, e di naging str8 na lang ako.

    SAGG, do not be frustrated. Like what the other guys here said, the eyes says it all. The eyes don’t lie. If you see or sense a certain self-consciousness on the guy when he looks at you, in all likelihood he’s into you, no matter how straight acting he is. Proper timing and mood setting will do the trick.

    As for seeing it as a frustration, see it as a mating bird dance, a natural order of mating. I personally find it exciting if you ask me hehehe

    from1fagtoanother at Sep 6, 07 at 2:38 am

  23. Sure, I agree, live and let live. A person’s preference is exactly that, his/her preference.

    What I think a lot of people find disagreeable, including myself, is the statement itself. It left a bad taste in my mouth, because as someone mentioned, it was too self-serving.

    thebaklareview actually hit the mark with his comment. The problem is not that he is a SAGGs, but rather he prefers SAGGs. So his statement would have been easier to take if it was something like, “(…) It’s so difficult to find someone who is a straight-acting gay guy. (…)”

    *Another implication that I don’t agree with is that SAGGs are closeted and would not admit they were gay if asked.

    Tony at Sep 6, 07 at 3:12 am

  24. Just goes to show a straight-acting gay guy can still be a whiny bitch.

    will at Sep 6, 07 at 7:00 am

  25. Wouldn’t it be ironic if SAGG, for all his requirements about what type of guy he should go after, in the end falls in love with a guy so nelly that he’s constantly followed by a rainbow..??

    Just a thought..Best regards

    Homie at Sep 7, 07 at 7:55 am

  26. migs, please tell SAGG to ask tony for my number. mukhang pareho kaming naghahanap ng partner. might as well meet and see if we’re looking for each other =)

    gay blogger in the closet at Sep 7, 07 at 10:34 pm

  27. Hi guys, just wanna share with you my story. I’m a straight-acting gay (or bisexual) guy in my early 30s, now based here in the US. Modesty aside, I’m very good-looking, having done a little modelling (am not saying where, to keep my privacy), and I’ve had my share of lovers back there in Manila. I am what you may call “walang bahid” and I even got married. The marriage lasted for 10 years, with my ex-wife, a Filipina, not knowing it. However, there came a point when I felt I was living a lie, and of course deceiving not only her but mainly myself. Now, I’m single again, still friends with my ex (who I’ve confided in later about my true self, and she understood) but not necessarily looking. Believe it or not, I’ve been celibate here in the US, as I have my job and my identity to protect. And I can say I’m happy, and finally at peace with myself….More power to your blog, which I chanced upon by accident…

    Paolo at Oct 29, 07 at 2:45 pm

  28. [...] flashes of memory came rushing in… the basketball player, the actor, the 7-hour phonepal, the SAGG, etcetera, etcetera… the faces of my dates, who before then I unwittingly saw as just [...]

    The Epiphany on Singlehood | manila gay guy at Dec 2, 07 at 4:10 pm

  29. here’s one thing that i have to live with being a straight-acting gay male. i have too many policemen friends who bring me to these girlie joints in pasay and they would get g.r.o’s for me to sit with. it’s annoying, and like what you said, i simply “just live with it”.

    palma tayona at Jan 17, 08 at 10:24 am

  30. [...] Pagkaminsa’y binabalikan ko at binabasa ang mga naisulat ko tungkol dito. Walang mintis, napapangiti ako at minsan pa’y napapatawa ng mag-isa dahil sa kakengkoyan ko pagdating sa pag-ibig. Pero [...]

    Pagmumuni-muni ukol sa Blogging | manila gay guy at Mar 18, 08 at 8:42 pm

  31. though i’m not looking for a relationship, people who are true and without “toyo” is much more enjoyable as companions.

    i encountered a very attractive SAGG who happened to be my classmate last summer. i mean i know he’s into me and he’s giving signs. but to his dismay, naglaladlad ako pag marami akong kasamang babae… effem ako, effem ako…

    Anakaris at Apr 29, 08 at 7:55 pm

  32. [...] midnight, as the moon broke out of the sorry clouds, the caller likewise revealed [...]

    Some hearts just don’t know how to quit. | manila gay guy at Sep 6, 08 at 6:24 pm

  33. wtf

    ohbrother at Sep 9, 08 at 6:29 pm

  34. hi migs,

    how are you?
    pwede ba yan mag ask?

    help me naman. i need to know where we could buy copies of original DVDs such as:

    IMORAL
    SERBIS
    ETC………

    please help naman.

    thanks so much,
    alvin

    bino at Oct 5, 08 at 9:03 pm

  35. Hindi kaya dahil lahat ng SAGGs e very choosy and hindi nag-eemit ng “gay-mones” kaya hindi ma-detect ng tulad nilang SAGGs? Kanya-kanya kasing style ng pagtatago.

    I think very weary sila and takot kasi ang nauuna sa kanila. Takot na mabuking. 

    And lastly, I totally agree with Seth that most are prejudiced and arrogant. 

    Maldito at Nov 12, 08 at 8:29 am

  36. ang kuru kuro ko nmn jan ay eto .. sa paghahanap ng partner ay parang namimili ng sapatos sa isang department store! susukatin mo, tatantyahin at pakikiramdaman kung ok ba syo! pag hindi kasya hanap ka uli ng ibang sapatos .. “Patience is a Virtue” sabi nila. Mabuti nlng gifted child ako at kahit may sipon pa ako, malayo pa ung guy maamoy ko na kung bading sya o hindi! o .. bawal mainnget! heheheh!

    pakongpasaway at Apr 2, 09 at 10:39 am

  37. Straight acting guys have the highest standards there is when it comes to the homosexual gene pool. Not only are they picky but they prefer to have Adonis’ looking partners who have bodies embossed with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s muscles of life. Or they just prefer guys who are gorgeous. Being a gorgeous guy myself (suddenly gets bitchslapped by reality… prefers nonetheless the same. So I’m slicing my wrists now for being too picky. Haha… just joking.

    Jake at Oct 27, 09 at 12:19 am

  38. straight-acting gays have the highest standards. i’ve met straight-acting gays before and they are only looking for straight-acting model material gays. a 5’10 135lbs with great ass and good to be a prada model is still not good for them if he happens to be even just slightly bit effeminate. (ok, maybe i’m generalising)

    tongueburner at Jan 22, 10 at 9:36 am

  39. [...] the littlest things. Until one subject came up. Her brother. Her brother is our connection. He is SAGG. The guy I dated some 3 years ago. The guy who loved me like I was the only man in the world. The [...]

    When Saying No is the Most Loving Thing to Do | Manila Gay Guy at Jun 1, 10 at 6:51 am

  40. Pity. they are missing all the happiness in the world in search for perfection from someone in order to sugar coat their desire not to be identified. Wait until you are gray and withered by then you can say with regret : SANA… oh well. just get real.

    Winterking at Jun 2, 10 at 11:00 am

  41. “Water seeks its own level” ika nga. the people you are looking for have exactly the same predicament as what you are in. pareho kayong naghahanap sa dilim. do not expect to see someone like you unless you show yourself first.

    Jasper Cortez at Jun 3, 10 at 3:48 am

  42. I can relate a lot to what SAG Guy is talking about. When you spend all your time pretending to be someone you’re not and are looking for people who do the same, then it’s going to be a pretty hard life.

    I agree with Jasper Cortez about expecting to see someone like you unless you show yourself first:
    There was this close friend who I had a crush on for the longest time. What I knew was that he was straight judging by the way he acts and speaks but there was a time when I couldn’t keep myself from telling him.

    I finally told him I was gay and after a brief moment of awkward silence came the unexpected. He told me he was gay too. So I guess people are only comfortable telling others they’re gay after they find out that other people are comfortable telling them they’re gay too.

    Being an SAGG is a risky thing. I can tell you that.

    *sorry for the long reply :)

    confused world at Jul 19, 10 at 12:07 am

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