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Shet. Di na ba talaga uso ang maging totoo sa taong mahal mo?

Nung isang gabi lang, may kasama akong dalawang guwaping. Mga edukado, nakapag-aral sa mga matataas na institusyon, mga galing sa tinatawag na buena familia. Tapos hirit nung isa, “I’m into open relationships.” Kesyo sa umpisa daw ng relasyon ng 2 baklang nagmamahalan, okay lang ang fidelity. Pero kalaunan, kailangan daw i-open. Para daw may variety at di magkasawaan. Para daw may excitement pa rin. Para daw tumagal.

Agree naman yung isang mokong. Sabi niya, as long as one does not get emotionally attached, okay lang makipag-sex sa iba ang isang taong nasa relationship.

Sa totoo lang basag na basag ang idealism ko after that conversation.

Basag na nga, pinulbos pa. Kagabi, nabalitaan ko, yung isang hanahangaan kong kaibigan na may partner (mahigit na 5 years na sila!)… hayun, lumalandi sa isang “tall, dark, and puwede na.” Anoverz! Idol ko pa naman sana yung kaibigan kong yun… tapos isa pala siya sa mga dudurog ng aking idealism tungkol sa gay relationships.

Ano ba ang nginangalngal ko dito? Eh kasi naman, bakit ba ako nagkaganito — nag-iisip na ang tanging pagmamahalang papayagan kong dumapo sa akin eh yung totoo, dalisay, at walang kinikilalang pag-iimbot? Na ang wagas na pag-ibig ay ang nagbibigkis sa dalawang pakpak (hindi tatlo, hindi apat, hindi lima) upang ito’y makalipad? Na ang tunay na pagmamahalan ay bingi sa panaghoy ng laman?

Ah shet. Siguro nga over-the-top ang idealism ko. Sige na, basagin ninyo na. Tsugihin, awardan, at durugin ninyo na ang walang saysay na idealism na ito. At habang sabay-sabay ninyong ginagawa iyan, uupo ang lola ninyo sa peborit tumba-tumba ko, at mag-ga-gantsilyo ng placemat na may hearts-hearts, tumitibok-tibok pa.

* * *

This post in Migs’ naked voice:


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Comments (76)

  1. mark lopez said on 10-02-2010

    WOW !!!How i wish all gay share your sentiments.HONESTY is what i always share sa mga nakakarelasyon ko.Masama ba mangarap……..hindi na ba USO ang tapat na LOVE?

  2. santanaya said on 28-09-2009

    Just wanna check. WHO IS IS GUY IN THE FRONT PAGE OF ANOVERZ? CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!

  3. Jake said on 26-09-2009

    #72, hindi rin. I’m on my early 20′s and I have that perception perhaps of a much mature guy when it comes to relationships. It’s just a matter of personal value systems to which you incline yourself to put more gravity to certain aspects to one’s relationship. Who can really tell if both partners in an open relationship are really decided on the context of infidelity? I’ve tried it, and the thought that my ex-partner then was spending time with another guy was excrutiating… psychologically and emotionally.

    Sometimes, open relationships is an escape that something is wrong, is lacking. And couples who opt for open relationships end up clinging to the notion that some things are better left undealt with and left unsaid. Hindi naman kase puro libog ang dahilan why people deviate from the normal mode of dealing with couple issues may it be in terms of sex, communication, time or etc.

    Yung ibang couples kase iniisip nila na mas madaling gawin yung, “Hey, let’s fuck other guys and not talk about our problems because I want to keep you…” instead of the usual heart to heart discussion. And let’s admit it, men are more or less likely to admit that they have problems.

    Because in reality, cheating is cheating no matter what new name you tag it with (open-relationship). Sino ba naman kaseng tanga ang gusto na ang boyfriend mo may kahalikang iba. Well it proves na maraming tanga sa mundo.

  4. Pachi said on 23-09-2009

    Maybe.. it’s a matter of age. When you’re in your mid-life you start to experiment.. do crazy stuffs… feel like the ecstasy will never end… pero as you approach 30′s.. that’s when the world starts to slowdown

    you start to look for a companion than a partner… you start to see the concept of fidelity and monogamy is not a social construct but a vital requirement for a life long relationship.

    minsan people need a blow in the head to realize that the norms and ideals of society is only for the betterment… minsan naman you just need to make ligo para mawala ang libog….

  5. helios said on 06-09-2009

    @#70 question? I think the guy you’re referring to is Victor Aliwalas, he’s a talent of GMA 7. I took the liberty of answering your question for you seeing that Migs didn’t give you any here.

  6. question? said on 03-09-2009

    HELLO MIGS,
    im sorry but I can’t help but ask WHO IS THAT UBER HUNK ON THE PICTURE YOU USED TO LINK TO THIS ENTRY? I instantly clicked his picture once I saw it on the homepage and it brought me to this ‘anoverz!’ post. please please identify who he is… he’s sooo SARAP! LOLSZ

  7. Curious said on 01-09-2009

    @mr. bug…Hindi ko yata kayang makipagrelasyon sa iba. Just thinking about the emotional investment I have to make and commit, nanghihina na ako. I did not have anybody but him and I never dated any other guys and funny this may sound, I don’t know how to do it! Salamat Mr. Bug for your insights. At this time, I will just preoccupy myself with work, live life daily and I need to stop thinking about it kasi di ba life MUST go on…I am not sure though if I can move on.

  8. mr.bug said on 01-09-2009

    curious tanung ko lang sana kung me bago kana? kasi kung meron na why don’t you try your new one? itimbang mo ang lahat.. alamin mo kung hinahanap mo pa xa kahit na kasama mo si mr. bago. Kapag nalaman mo na wala paring hihigit sa kanya.. bumalik ka.. ipaliwanag mo kung bakit ka umalis.. at xempre mahalaga parin na malaman mo kung me babalikan ka pa sa kanya.. I’m sure nagsasawa ka lang.. ang lahat ng relasyon dumadating talaga sa ganyang punto…pero kung mahal mo talaga ang isang tao babalik at babalik ka sa kanya..

  9. mr.bug said on 01-09-2009

    hi curious,

  10. yhan said on 28-08-2009

    …shock…

  11. Curious said on 27-08-2009

    Hello guys,
    As I sat here getting over my jet lag from a whirlwind visit sa Pinas, I cannot help but question the decision I just recently made. Was it really worth it to let go of a long and secure yet dying relationship? Or should I give it another try? I don’t know the answer to this anymore and I thought I did when I suddenly decided to end a very long relationship. The major reasons for this huge decision were to find out if the grass is really greener on the other side of the fence and that I felt that I have outgrown him…I still love him but I am not in love with him anymore. This was my first and only relationship and this was one secure and sheltered relationship. Maybe I am asking this question because I am fearful of the unknown and the tendency is to go back to something that is comfortable. I am torn…He begs me to come back and to give our relationship another try but I don’t know if I could rekindle the feelings that I believe has long been gone. He is open to any types of relationships as long as he gets me back. Although this might be tempting to try, I don’t know if it is worth it. Paano naman ako? Bakit ganito…my life just turned up side down in a short period of time. I am just venting here because my therapist is on vacation and I cannot get hold of him! (hehehe) I thought my being alone on vacation would clear things for me but it just made it more complicated. Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks for reading this lengthy post.

  12. axe said on 14-08-2009

    Well ako infedelity is ok for me but it does not mean na ako ang unang maglalandi,saka lang ako maglalandi din sa iba kapag nahuli kong naglalandi rin sa iba yung partner ko, ano sya sinuswerte at sya lang ang pwedeng tumikim ng ibang putahe, syempre ako rin dapat diba? Gusto kong maramdaman din nya kung ano ang pakiramdam ng niloloko ka ng iyung minamahal. Kapag nasaktan sya at sya na mismo ang magsosorry bongga diba? pero kung ayaw at deadma lang sya ibig sabihin dika na nya mahal.

  13. winterking said on 14-08-2009

    there are 2 kinds of infidelity
    one is
    emotional
    Sexual
    either of the two.. it will make your relationship always in DOUBT

  14. Freudian said on 11-03-2009

    Putsa MIGS, bakit ba di ko nakita itong post mo nuong una pa lang…. Pero I must say yung ideal na pagmamahal na yan ang bumubuhay sa akin ngaun sa singapore….

    I found him….my first and hopefully my last because he is just so perfect…..

    perfectly imperfect but nonetheless he fires me up….he sanctified me (read: unblasphemous) :)

  15. tutor said on 11-08-2008

    single since birth ang lola mong ito? hahahaha!
    blog

  16. Allili said on 29-06-2008

    This is my love song
    And in case you forget that I cared,
    You can listen to this,
    Special
    Special love song,
    Just to tell you that I love you,
    I made it specially for you
    (I made it specially for you)
    (I made it specially for you)
    This is my love song
    And in case you forget that I cared,
    You can listen to this,
    Special
    Special love song,
    Just to tell you that I love you,
    I made it specially for you
    (I made it specially for you)
    You doubted my love,
    But there’s no one around,
    To steal this heart from you,
    Never again from you.
    Got something to remind you
    That I’ll be forever true,
    And always will be with you,
    As long as you love me
    Through and through.
    Oh oooh

  17. chase said on 07-11-2007

    I think there is always hope to find the ideal love that you have. Coz I think I have found mine and even going to get married soon. We have been quite faithful to each other and our relationship doesnt revolve on sex alone. I also think that culture plays a strong part on men’s mentality about relationships or promiscuity and it is not just because the person is gay.

    Lastly, I really hate the idea of “open relationship” coz in the long run it will ruin ones relationship.

  18. LuisBatchoy said on 06-11-2007

    goddess…eh anong tawag mo sa open na yun? Affair? Pareho na rin yun…basta when you start getting serious with someone, wa na ang open open na yan…Fidelity dapat…madamot ako eh…kung ako, ako lang, kung ikaw, ikaw lang…meron term jan ang isang kaibigan ko..”Fall back option”…Fall back ka dyan! Hehehehehehe

  19. goddess said on 06-11-2007

    pareho tayo ng paniniwala migs.
    hindi ko maaccept ang pagkakaroon ng “open relationship”..
    puke!
    open and relationship should not used/put together to form a meaning..
    open lang kung open, pero dapat walang relationship..

  20. LuisBatchoy said on 05-11-2007

    Ako man ay naniniwala sa exclusivity sa isang relasyon…lagi kong sinasabi sa aking mga kaibigan kapag nag tatanong sila tungkol sa pagiging bisexual ko, na ang ibig ba daw sabihin ay gusto ko pareho ang babae at lalaki, at ibig ba sabihin nun ay pwedeng sabay? Ang sagot ko lagi…bisexuality is not an excuse for infidelity…kaso nga lang…siguro, malungkot lang talaga ang magkaroon ng ganitong pananaw sa buhay dahil halos lahat ng mga naikikita kong relasyon at maaring makarelsayon ay yung hindi tugma sa aking paniniwala. uso na kasi ngayon ang “convenient” eh. At dahil ang pagiging one-partner person ay isang malaking “inconvenience” ay nawawala sya sa uso. Pero, sige lang, patuloy akong maniniwala na ang open relationship a hindi sagot sa mga problemang kinakaharap ng dalawang taong nagmamahalan. Kudos to you manilagayguy~!

  21. hustlingmind said on 04-11-2007

    I once asked my lover for 2 years who is in New York right now. Did you have sex with someone out there? He regretfully said yes. Believe it or not, di ako nagselos. The possibility of seeing him with someone in bed pag-uwi niya made him hotter to me. I want to experiment. I am like a child. I would always be unhappy if I didn’t try. Just not with a particular guy na kilala na niya kung sino.

    yun lang.

  22. hustlingmind said on 04-11-2007

    I once asked my lover lately, who is in New York now(I’m in manila).

    “Did you have sex with someone out there?”

    Di ko alam kung I caught him unaware but he said yes and believe it or not, di ako nagselos and the possibility of seeing him with someone in bed pag-uwi niya made him a lot hotter to me. I want to experiment. I am like a child. I would always be unhappy if I didn’t try.

    The only condition is that, not with a particular guy. kilala na niya kung sino yun.

    yun lang.

  23. rey said on 03-11-2007

    life really is not fair…

  24. iloveboom said on 03-11-2007

    wawa nmn napaka-bitter ng buhay nya…hahahaha..i dont know..for me dpat masya at may respect yung relationship.ganun ka-simple no rules..be happy..world peace..d nmn kailangan maraming ekek at dramahan ever..kpag gus2 mo isang tao you fight for it..ganun k-simple kung ayaw..GOOOO..hahahahahahah

  25. Marvin said on 02-11-2007

    walang tamis ang matitira mula sa isang pag-ibig na pinagsasaluhan ng higit pa sa dalawa. mas nanaisin pang mamatay ng nag-iisa kaysa sa aking harapan ay marami sila. walang langit ang makakahandalang sa tunay at dalisay na pagmamahalan. sanlibong taon ay handa kong antayin upang tunay na pag-ibig sa wakas aking maangkin.

  26. Isagani Rx said on 02-11-2007

    Hindi ko sure kung ito ang una kong comment dito, pero nag enjoy ako sa post.

    Aabangan ko ang susunod!

  27. my yellow shirt said on 01-11-2007

    Teka.

    Migs ano ba?

    Kahit na paano mo tingnan ang kahit anong relasyon, straight, het, homo, gay, chuva, pederasts, isa pa rin ang babagsakan nyan, kung mahal mo tapat ka.

    Maraming martir, katulad ko.

    Nagmamahal kahit na alam mo marami kami.

    Napanood mo na yung buhay ni Oscar Wilde? Natatandaan ko yung isang minahal nya dun, na susunod sunod pa rin sa kanya kahit na pinagpalit na sya dun sa batang Jude Law.

    Alam mo ang pagiging totoo dito sa mundo ay may kalakip na pagdurusa. Ang tanong tatagal ka ba? Kung tapat at totoo ang pag-inog ng tadhana babalikan ka sa iyong inimpok na pag-ibig.

    Minsan ang paghihintay at pagiging mapagpalagay loob, may mararating din. Ngunit, isang tanong, siya ba’y nararapat?

    Yung ang tanong ng bawat isang babae, babaeng puso, lalaki, lalaking umiibig.

    Sa mga mangingibig di ba hinahanap din ang pagigiging tapat?

    Hindi lahat tayo pwedeng anak lang. Minsan hinahangad natin na tayo yung tanging sinisinta.

    Nasaan ka irog? At dagling naparam ang iyong pag-big? Di baga’t sumpa mong ako’y mamahalin?

    Kaya’t di ka naman nag-iisa sa naghahangad ng pag-ibig na dalisay.

    Nga lang, sa pag ibig dapat mapagtantuhan, siya ba ay karapatdapat paglaanan ng sarili mo?

    Dahil sya rin ba’y umiibig ng pag-ibig na tulad nang sa iyo?

    Hay.

  28. model said on 01-11-2007

    over the top … its only lust, “Gay Love” rarely exists…. Aminin na natin lahat, don be plastic….. work on yourselves, grow!! dont dedicate your whole damn life sa isang perfect guy, perfect love….. Its all about bein wise and making the right decision!

  29. fred said on 01-11-2007

    cherish love while it is there. one can only hope that the love we give is requited, but then would it be love if we expect something back? hmmm. if we expect others to act the way we want them to, then we set ourselves up for disappointment. they are their own persons, after all. so all we can do is to love unconditionally and hope for the best.

  30. closet case said on 01-11-2007

    ang friend ko di ko ma-arok. i know, migs, i am one of those who continues to shatter your ideals of exclusive relationships. i see how you used to battle with your loyalty to me as a friend and your chika curiousity as a bading and your principles and your own friendship with my partner everytime i chika my affairs, tricks.
    i even blogged about it. hehehe
    dont give up hope just because there are too many of US out there. and most of these posts will attest to the presence of a lot YOUR types, people who still believe and want to practice monogamy and exclusivity.
    ayan, galing sa isang bading on the other side of the fence.
    keep on hoping and keep on meeting people.

  31. charlize theron said on 31-10-2007

    nalito ako sa entry mo lola MGG. e davah, nagpakasupergaruts ka a while back between 2 guys din? di ko ma-compute. di ko ma-balance. anubayun ateh??

  32. george said on 31-10-2007

    Migs, I don’t really see the conflict there…your idealism stays unbroken. these people have open relationships (sort of) because there is no true love in there. kasi di ba, kung nagmamahalan kayo, eh di you won’t allow anything else to get in the way except your love for each other, di ba? so let them be..your true love stays an ideal, something to keep in your heart if you are in love.

    In short, tinatawag lang nilang open relationship yun kasi nga wala namang love and commitment. pinaganda lang nila ang kawalan ng pag-ibig sa pagsasama nila.

  33. dennis said on 31-10-2007

    Ngeh!!! Papano mag i increase ang tribu nila? Hahahaha!!!!

  34. rodier said on 31-10-2007

    ing ana jud ang atong kinabuhi. kinahanglan kung mahigugma ta dili ihurot ug hatag tanan kay kung mapakyas ta kita ra ang maalaot. magbilin ta bisan ug gamay nga gugma sa atong kaugalingon. daghan pa mga tawo o laki nga maghatag sa ato ug tinuod nga gugma. pangitaa lang!

  35. James said on 31-10-2007

    Pag nakita at nabasa ito ng friend ko sa office, eto lang ang sasabihin niya:

    “Ang pag-ibig ay likha ng diyablo”

    bakit daw?

    “Ang pag-ibig ay mali, saan ba nanggagaling ang mali? Sa diyablo.”

    ask ko naman: “Ano ang masasabi mo na ang pag-ibig ay dalisay in one sentence?”

    sagot niya: “che!”

    opinyon niya yun, typed as it happens sa aking mumunting mundo na gawa ng mga imperyalista 1:31 AM Manila Time Oct 31, 2007

    to migs’ post: *sigh

    COMMENT FROM MIGS: *sigh*

  36. Rye said on 31-10-2007

    Meron pa ring pagmamahal na totoo, dalisay, at walang kinikilalang pag-iimbot. Wagas na pag-ibig pa rin ang nagbibigkis sa dalawang pakpak (hindi tatlo, hindi apat, hindi lima) upang ito’y makalipad. Ang tunay na pagmamahalan ay nananatili pa ring bingi sa panaghoy ng laman.

    Naniniwala ako. Kagaya mo. AT habang mayroong mga taong kagaya nating patuloy na naniniwala, patuloy na mabubuhay ang Pag Ibig na ang akala ng iba’y sa utak at pantasya lamang ng mga “idealists” nabubuhay.

  37. effie said on 30-10-2007

    hay…magpapakamanang na rin lang ako. sa edad ko ngayon, mahirap nang bumalik at magsimula ulet. sobrang tagal ko nang bakla, at sa totoo lang minsan nakakalimutan kong hindi ako babae pag nag-iisip, nagde-desisyon at nagmamahala ako.

    hay naku migs, mahal na kita. for real. haha!

  38. chuchucaracas said on 30-10-2007

    hay walang pagibig.

    kung meron man para itong maamong pusang gala which just decided to make you his new owner. and siempre after a while mare-realize mo na naawa ka lang talaga sa kanya kaya mo pinulot at hindi mo talaga siya mahal as a pet (or kung ano man) so ayun the only way to get rid of it ay ihagis sa c-5 para masagasaan ng lahat ng papasok sa makati at alabang.

  39. Kazan said on 30-10-2007

    hold on to what you believe in. if monogamy is your preference, then don’t be swayed by what apparently is the norm.

    nice blog u have! thanks for sharing your thoughts and the pics!

  40. jetblue said on 30-10-2007

    hi gay blogger in the closet! r u “corpcloset.blogspot.com”? if so, im a huge fan! wouldnt mind giving u my email at all.. so i guess its up to migs coz i wdnt wana post it here.. oh and if ur not him, its ok, id luv to hear wat ud like to say anyways.. :)

  41. anonimus said on 30-10-2007

    Thanks,Migs.

  42. gay blogger in the closet said on 30-10-2007

    jetblue: “maybe some people are just destined to end up alone.”

    Jedd: “There are plenty of us.”

    migs, sana ay tapusin mo ang sinimulan mo ngayon. mukhang marami tayong nagnanais makahanap ng mamahalin at magmamahal sa atin habambuhay.

    sa halip na pabayaan na lang tayong laitin ng mga di naniniwala sa pagmamahal na iniuukol lamang sa isa–at di sa kung sinu-sino pa–bakit hindi ka magtawag ng pulong ng mga naghahanap ng tunay na pag-ibig?

    at kung hindi mo man gawin ang aking iminumungkahi, pwede bang pakibigay na lang aking email address kay jetblue at jedd? =)

  43. meow-yaw said on 30-10-2007

    Taray ni dowell,…nahelo-helo ako dun ah!…pero it’s kewl!
    Me?…love and lost, love and lost again,…the cycle continues and shed a lot of heartaches along,…if it lasts, well and good, for how long?…enjoy it while its there,..ganun lang yon,and you could build your own dreams and ideals around it. But be ready to close the chapter when it ends.
    Keep the good memories tho’,…
    Peace!

  44. dazedblu said on 30-10-2007

    darn, those guys make me hair strands out of control… imagine what rae they asyion’?? huh.. and oh btw wrting this one in purely tagalog.. wuz different from the usaul one.

  45. manoy said on 30-10-2007

    I know many have already started a comment with this line, however, it holds true for me, so here it goes: this is my first (ever!) time to post a comment online.

    Before i even start, as early as now, i would like to apologize for this rather lengthy autobiography, este, comment pala. :-)

    I am one of the thousands (?), millions (!) of nameless, faceless readers of your blog, migs, and I have never felt this strongly about posting a comment after reading a blog entry before–which explains this particular act of bravery on my part.

    I am in my mid-30′s, currently in a less-than-ideal but oh-so-worth-it partnership with someone in his late 20′s. Ours was his second relationship, and my first gay relationship (footnote: my ex before him was a college sweetheart whom I now call “kumare” since I am now a godfather to one of her kids).

    I entered into our relationship after six years of being single and, uhm, celibate. While i have had my share of “crushes” and “attractions” during that time, I did not act on any impulse or feeling simply because I felt I wasn’t doing it for “all the right reasons.” I didn’t want to be a notch on someone’s bedpost, and nor did I want to enter into anything that wasn’t real or lasting. I was very idealistic then, and it is quite surprising how time flies when you’re busying yourself with other stuff like work, family and other commitments. For six years, my love life was nil, and my sex life was a big fat ZERO (i didn’t believe in premarital sex then, so you do the math. hahaha!) And while I have had my own personal bouts with loneliness and depression from time to time, I was able to pull through and live a simple, quiet (and single) life.

    And then in December of 2000, just when I was preparing myself for “manang-hood,” unexpectedly, i met someone…he was far from what I had always found attractive and appealing, and yet, when I met him, none of those pre-set criteria mattered, and like I had always envisioned it to be, changed my life. After barely a month of being friends, we became lovers. And while that, in itself, brought its own share of trials and problems for us (we are both not “out” to everyone except for a close friend or two, and not to mention the fact that my family was your stypical straitlaced, deeply religious, you-are-abnormal-and-sinful-if-you-enter-into-that-kind-of-relationship type who were caught off-guard when i finally came out), what made it so special for me is this fact: when i finally met him and loved him, all the waiting, hoping, praying and sacrifices (read: hirap maging single at tigang di ba? hahaha!)–it all made sense…and he made it all oh-so-worth it.

    Before we go off into fairy tale land for the usual “happily ever after,” let me say that it isn’t as simple as that. We are far from perfect, and with each day that passes, we are discovering so many things about each other and about our relationship that we are sometimes thrown for a loop. He has faults (he can sometimes be a flirt, tactless, paranoid and overly dramatic), while I have my own share as well (i can be a know-it-all, controlling, over-analyzing and overly protective). We’ve had our tiffs and arguments–sometimes over nonsensical stuff especially since we have just begun to live together (with both our parents’ blessings and acceptance–FINALLY!). And yes, we have encountered the challenge of jealous fits and other temptations.

    As a reality check, I really don’t know if he has ever been unfaithful, and for a time or two, I had some suspicions, but they have never materialized into anything more than just that: suspicions. Either he is really good in hiding secrets, or that there are simply none to be found. At this point, i find no benefit in pursuing the doubts simply because they steal away what we can share in the here and now. At some point, I realized that I have to trust him–not the blind kind of trust…i have to give him the kind of trust that doesn’t push him away, but the kind that binds him more to me. Our relationship is something that we both treasure with faithfulness and fidelity, and honestly, keeping the home fires burning is even more challenging as compared to temporarily lighting (or putting out) someone’s fire. So far, our partnership has not only survived, but has thrived and endured, and that is truly a blessing that we dare not take for granted.

    I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but in all these years, I have learned that living each moment, each day, to the fullest can make the days pass by so quickly…so much so that you suddenly realize that it has already been a month, a year, or even more.

    For us, we have just celebrated our 81st monthsary, and counting. And while it has been far from perfect, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Cherish your idealism. It will be all worth it in the long run. God bless and world peace! ;-)

    COMMENT FROM MIGS: thank you, manoy, for sharing. Mabuhay ka, ang iyong partner, at higit sa lahat, ang inyong partnership! Your partnership is truly a blessing — even for me, as it inspires. May your tribe increase!

  46. dowell said on 30-10-2007

    migs aka lola sa peborit na tumba-tumba,

    let me be a gadabout gadding around your fortitudinuos love mantra.
    hayaan mong sirain ko ang iyong paniniwala, at bumuo ng panibagong tahanan ng mga diwa’t pangangahulugan sa masalimuot na eskinitang mala-bituka ng pag-ibig.
    tama! tama silang nagsasabing hindi magtatagal. at silang nagsasabing di magtatagal ay hindi huwad, at hindi silang hudas ng konseptong kanilang sinisira.
    inauspicious they are not.
    they carry a bode.
    they are harbingers of what is a more probable truth.
    they propitiate that concepts that co exist with love- helplessness, insanity, loneliness etc etc.

    ako ay hindi galit sa pag-ibig. at ako ay hindi masamang taong pumapatay, nagmumura, nagdarasal ng mga masamang bagay para sa ibang tao, di man ako mabait, pero hindi ako masama.

    sa larangan ng pag-ibig at sa indutriya ng pakikisamang kaakibat ng kahit anung tipanan, wala ruon ang puso ko.

    i am not inclined to love one person.

    pwede akong maging isang baliw sa pag-ibig, sa isang tao, at isang dahilan, pero hindi sa mahabang panahon.
    mali ko ngang tinuturing ang ganitong ugaling ipinanganak kasama ko, pero anu pa ba ang magagawa ko? ayokong makasama sa kama tuwing pag gising, mula ngayon hanggang mamatay ako, ang isang taong kasawasawa, iyon bang sasabihin ko pagdilat ng mga mata ko “ikaw na naman, haaaaaay”.

    kaya nga sa ngayon, kung lahat kayo sa mundo ay magsasabing masama ang katulad kong di mapakali, di makuntento, di makapagmahal ng isa habangbuhay, hihintayin ko na lang ang kasunod kong lifetime, at duon kung uso na ang polyamerous relationship, ako’y magiging sikat, magiging tanyag, popular bilang Loverboy.

    pero sa ngayon na mali DAW ang ganito, magpapakasaya na lamang ako sa libro, sa dvd, sa pagkanta, sa pagtakbo.

    there are iconclastic philosophies. they may not be generally accepted by the quorum, but i tell you, not everything that is generally accepted is truth, so they may be other people’s own way of life, and they maybe more approximate to truth.

    for as long as they are not dogmatist, pushing other people to believe their ideals, you can just treat them as professors teaching weird course, a course you are disinclined to take, learn, and believe.

    but of course this is just me and my philosophy, i may be wrong. this is just how i see the better way to have a more tractable life.

    i am waiting.
    i am waiting for someone to disprove me. someone who’d make me love him…forever, so that i won’t wait for the next lifetime.

    put me to trial. try my philosophy. i wish you to debacle me. denounce me in the open, by loving me.

    COMMENT FROM MIGS: dowell, ang galing ng ending mo — parang puwedeng isapelikula ang mga linya — “put me to trial. try my philosophy. i wish you to debacle me. denounce me in the open, by loving me.” imagine those lines delivered by chanda romero! panalo! hehehe! seriously, we may have different opinions, but i still wish you well in your love journey.

  47. Will said on 30-10-2007

    i agree. nkakaloka indeed. but thats life. thats part of reality these days. its sad. but what can we do about it? its your own decision. your own perceptionm on things.. as long as your not hurting anyone. i think its okay.. even im not into it.

  48. jimg29 said on 30-10-2007

    “Idealism On Gay Relationships”? Migs, don’t be deft, its admirable really but for crying out loud, listen to what your saying? Isn’t this a contradiction in itself? Finding true and pure selfless love is hard enough even for heterosexuals. I suggest you just run to the nunnery. Pray and learn in there the true meaning of Love. For this post, I give you credit and the Oscar but I don’t think there’s a thread long enough for your knitting. I’d probably just chalk it up: ASA KA PA BALIW!
    Mahirap maging tulad mo!

  49. Tony said on 30-10-2007

    Ideal situations are hard or even impossible to achieve (what is the purpose of nirvana or heaven then?). I’d rather be an optimistic realist.

  50. Fran said on 30-10-2007

    …by the river piedra i sat and wept – ish!

  51. cainam said on 30-10-2007

    to some people, open relationship is the way to go. pero if that is not your preference, wag mo isakriprisyo ang ideals mo para lang naging “in” ka. the best you can do is understand their reasoning. i personally believe that monogamous relationship is still the best one there is. kasi kung hindi ka naman sigurado na magiging faithful ka, why enter a relationship at all?

  52. ewan said on 30-10-2007

    before i accepted myself as part of the gay world, i had a 5 day tryst with a man who has a gf…he’s from manila, i am from cebu…i would have wanted to be his bf but mahirap ang long distance so i told him to take care of his problems with his gf muna and ill just be there…the next thing i know, he has a new bf, a gf, he is back in cebu and would like to see with me…i decided not to see him…i made a million reasons not to because i don’t want to take part of his infidelity…i have allowed it once and di ko maatim to do it again…kawawa yung girl…kaya i am a believer na there is hope in the gay community…basta ba firm ka sa belief mo, di ka mawawala sa tamang landas and will never succumb to the call of the flesh…kung sex lang madaling hanapin pero ang honest relationship mahirap but i am still keeping my hopes high…still keeping my fingers crossed…

    COMMENT FROM MIGS: i am crossing my fingers with you, ewan.

  53. Francis Tom T. said on 30-10-2007

    I share your sentiments! Keep the idealism burning tama yan!

  54. aaron said on 30-10-2007

    mahirap talaga if we choose to live by our ideals. sometimes, we tend to go beyond what is in reality. but then, without this idealism, for me everything will be bland and lifeless. magiging conventional na lang kasi lahat at wala nang magbibigay kulay sa mga bagay bagay, kahit sa relasyon pa ito.

    i would just like you to know that i also do share the same ideals. mahirap nga lang talagang makahanap ng honest partner who would love us, and only us. kaya nga kahit nasaktan ako ng maigi dun sa 2nd to the last ko, dahil pinagpalit ako sa iba, mas gusto ko naman xa kesa yung sa ngayon ko na may kahati ako na 2 pang ibah…

    sabi nga ni pepron, go lang! so, go lang tayo… Ü

  55. ace said on 30-10-2007

    Wow, Migs, this is like homework for me. Thank goodness for the on-line Tagalog dictionary. It is true; the vast majority of gay relationships are non-relationships. An open relationship is an oxymoron because it is not a true relationship if there is no commitment between two people. But I think there are still those who believe in a committed relationship. I think part of the problem is the easy availability of sexual partners that is endemic in gay culture. But I can honestly say that I have never ever cheated on anyone in my life. The reason for that is the fact that I don’t like being cheated on. I guess I still believe in the golden rule.

  56. eyecandy said on 30-10-2007

    wat a corny post…

  57. Adrammelech said on 30-10-2007

    Homosexual relationships are no different from heterosexual relationships. There are also the “unfaithful” in common girl-boy love affairs. Love is just like a roulette; it’s a random win to find someone who’s faithful enough to have you by his side without having open relationships.

  58. eponine said on 30-10-2007

    i don’t believe in the open-relationship crap. if you are in a relationship, nurture it. if you love a person, take care of him/her. open-rlationship does not equate to freedom. true love sets free as it also embraces you under its wings. ewan. feel ko tuloy magbasa ng The Prophet ni Kahlil Gibran. I love that chapter on Love. Idealistic din ako Mama Migs. So hindi ka nag-iisa. Marami pa ring naniniwala sa tunay na pag-ibig.

    COMMENT FROM MIGS: Salamat, eponine, salamat. Hindi tayo nag-iisa. Pati sa pagbabasa ng Kahlil Gibran na talaga namang peborit kong basahin habang naka-upo ako sa aking peborit na tumba-tumba.

  59. pepron said on 30-10-2007

    HAHAHAHA! NATAWA NAMAN AKO DON!

    Seriously, pag nag-open relationship na, ibig sabihin nun: e di tapos na! Di ba? Kasi naghahanap ka na ng iba eh, di ba?

    TAray naman ng LOla! Go!

  60. Luo lan said on 30-10-2007

    Problema ko rin yang monogamous relationship. Faithful naman ako kaya lang iniiwan din ako T_T

  61. dennis said on 30-10-2007

    We get frustrated because we expect too much. . . .

  62. leo said on 30-10-2007

    Oh well . . . You should always expect for the unexpected. . . . Things keep on changing every minute. . . .

  63. Jedd said on 30-10-2007

    I’m sure you have a lot of young, teenage readers who are just about to set off on this “gay world”. I hope they don’t get the impression na open-relationship ang kahahantungan ng lahat ng gay relationships because it’s simply not true. If you want a monogamous person, you have to be with right people and the right places. There are plenty of us.
    - -
    I remember my last ex told me in the heat of one of our arguments, “ang problema kasi sa yo, Jedd, masyado kang idealistic!” What the fuck is wrong with being ideal? The only reason for open-relationships is sex. Yun lang. Not love, not charity, but sex. I find it pathetic for a person to give up ideals just because he has “needs”.
    - -
    Don’t budge. What you have is an asset. The ability to keep a faithful relationship, to able to give your boyfriend the peace and assurance that you won’t cheat or hurt him is one big POGI POINT. I don’t know what guy would not fall for that.

  64. JHVRothschild said on 30-10-2007

    I still believe in monogamy, but the thing is whenever one is in a monogamous relationship, others flock to him kinda like the temptation of Christ. I guess it’s a test which many no doubt fail.

  65. rico said on 30-10-2007

    whoa! nag-tagalog si migz! ikaw nga ba yan?

  66. swoopy said on 30-10-2007

    its my first time to comment here…well i just find the topic interesting…and applicable for me…im in a 9 year relationship now.at walang naganap na lokohan…on my part…that i can assure you of.iba lang talaga paniniwala ko about relationships.partida asa states pa ngayon yung partner ko and he goes home every summer lang…galing ko no?hehehe sure there were temptations pero di ko talaga kaya,maatim,masikmura,at kung ano ano pa…no offense sa mga promiscuos.ganto lang talaga ko.

  67. chuayjai said on 30-10-2007

    migz, hindi ka nag-iisa. ganyan din ang pananaw ko.

    kaya lang tingnan mo naman, single since birth ang lola mong ito? hahahaha!

    pero okay lang. di ko babaguhin ang pananaw ko para lang magka jowa.

  68. juan said on 30-10-2007

    i’m 10 years older than my ex. i was his first. feeling short-changed siya. so i gave him the freedom to sleep around, basta no dating, no emotional attachments. sometimes, ako pa nagbibigay (this stems from my ultra-traditional chinese background, i think). in the end, my ex cheated on me and lied. this despite the freedom i gave him. so we split up. after 7 years of being together.

  69. Indoy Garutay said on 30-10-2007

    Migz, sa palagay ko ay hindi ka dapat magpadurog, manlumo, o managhoy man sa isang katotohanang inyong natunghayan sa iyong mga kaibigan. Lagi mo sanang isa isip na iba iba ang sukatan ng mga tao. Merong mataas ang gustong tungtungan. Meron namang ang iba they set the bar low and they continue to underperform dahil wala silang sariling mga paninindigan, mga standards na kanilang ipinaglalaban. Hindi ka dapat mawalan ng pagasa. Dapat you should always stand firm on what you believe in. Dapat iyong isipin na naiiba ka at ano man ang maging paninindigan ng iba hindi ka pasusuway dahil naniniwala ka sa iyong itinakdang sukatan para sa iyong sarili.

  70. whocares said on 30-10-2007

    atleast may outlet ang frustrations ni migs. actually parehas tayo siguro sa point of view tungkol sa relationship. Anong klaseng relasyon yun kung open? Naghahanap lang sila ng multiple partner sa kama hindi relationship in terms of love. Mga malilibog.

  71. datu said on 30-10-2007

    kaya nga ako naging pasas–oh kung anumang tagalog o espanyol ng “prune”.

  72. jetblue said on 30-10-2007

    i really like the way u write in tagalog though.. almost as poetic as “misterhubs” writes in english.. wait mali ata, he writes in prose nga pala.. anyways reading u in tagalog, especially in such an open heartfelt discourse is really refreshing.. u should do it more often.. :)

  73. jetblue said on 30-10-2007

    hi migs..i share ur frustrations.. love is too tricky even for old weather-beaten warriors like me..im 28 yrs old and im still scouring d streets of manhattan hoping against hope to find the one..instead i find liar lawyers, clingy jock-types, nice but “walang-sparks-eh” nurses or filthy philandering physical therapists.. i dunno, maybe some people are just destined to end up alone.. i think its really sad.. to be this cynical before 30..

  74. ian said on 30-10-2007

    ang taray!!

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