What would you say to your younger self?

Sixty-four award-winning authors and illustrators such as Michael Cunningham, Amy Bloom, Jacqueline Woodson, Terrence McNally, Gregory Maguire, Daivd Levithan, and Armistead Maupin, make imaginative journeys into their pasts, telling their younger selves what they would have liked to know then about their lives as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people.

WATCH!

Si Simon at si Lando

Hello there Migs!

Bago lang ako sa pag bisita sa blog mo. At sa sandaling panahon eh naeenjoy ko ang mga posts dito at higit sa lahat ay mas lalo kong nakikilala kung ano ba ang mga posibilidad sa mundo ng mga katulad ko. Tawagin mo nalang akong Simon. 21 years old, graduate ako sa isang unibersidad dito sa Maynila at kasalukuyang nag tatrabaho dito na din sa Maynila. Bata pa lang ako, may matinding pag nanasa na ako sa kapwa ko lalake. May matinding passion ako sa katawan ng lalake kaya naman bata pa lang din ako, natutunan ko na agad na mag salsal at tumitig sa mga larawan ng mga maskulado at buffed na mga kalalakihan sa magasin o di kaya sa TV na rin.

Buong buhay ko, ako lang ang nakakakilala sa sarili ko. Maaga ko naman itong natanggap at niyakap ang buong pagkatao ko. Kaso, isa ako sa napakaraming lalake na hindi kayang sabihin kahit kanino (family, friends) na sya ay isang bakla. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan lang ay natutunan kong magtungo sa mga lugar na madalas mag punta ang mga katulad ko. Isang gabi, nakilala ko ang isang lalake na tawagin nalang nating Lando. Hindi sya kaguwapuhan ngunit may dating sya sa akin at parati nya akong napapangiti sa tuwing nagi-ismile sya sa akin. Doble ang idad nya sa akin. Naka-kwentuhan ko sya, sumama ako kahit saan sya mag punta at parang ayaw ko na kaagad mawalay sa piling nya. Madalas ko siyang yakapin sa gabing iyon, sa mga pagkakataong iyon eh nag dududa ako kung mahal ko na ba kaagad ang taong ito, o tawag lang kaya ng libog ang lahat?

Nagpalitan kami ng numbers ni Lando. Nang umuwi ako ng gabing iyon, wala nang kong ibang inisip kung hindi sya. At bago pa ako matulog sa kama ko, nag “Good night” sya sakin at talaga namang naging good ang aking tulog sa gabing iyon. Ilang araw pa ang nakalipas, parati kaming magka text. Hindi man sunod sunod, nagkaroon kami ng maayos na communication sa isa’t isa. Mas lalo ko syang nakilala. Nga pala, hindi ko ba nasabi sa kwento ko kanina? May asawa’t anak nga pala sya. Patawarin niyo ako, pero hindi ko na din alam ang gagawin ko sa mga panahong iyon. Lubusan akong nangungulila sa taong makakaintindi sakin, at higit sa lahat sa pag aaruga at pagmamahal sana ng kapwa ko. Alam kong masama itong pinasok ko at higit sa lahat, walang mabuting madudulot ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Read more »

Love and Light

Dear Kuya Migs,

I was looking for a hot masseur in the net and I ended up listening to your Semana Santa Podcast. Ang saya saya palagi and that’s how it should be. Life is suppose to be fun. You have no idea how much you are contributing to the awakening of the of these seemingly confused young people and the entire planet in general. If we keep on to vibrating in love instead of fear, these guys will soon see the light, find their way and clarity of the answers they seek. We were programmed to think that religion will give us the answers. In my own journey, I found that the purpose of religion is not to show us the truth but to hide it. The God being taught by religion, especially the so called “Three Faiths of Abraham” and their various offshoots is not God but rather a man (male to be precise with a long beard sitting on a throne) wanting to impose a mindset designed to control people and preserve an empire. It is not the God that I know now. If you look closely, religions have one thing in common. They have been killing each other for centuries trying to prove that they are the right one. Religion is an organized fear-based belief system. It’s a set of rules that you follow because of fear. Think about it, the things that they teach about us about sex feels off (to everyone without exception!) because its not true. It feels off because it is a big lie. It feels off because of our fear that God is angry at us. God is never angry because he is in a state of pure unconditional love. But we force ourselves to believe and follow these teachings and dogmas because of fear. Religion is successful because there is no fear greater than the fear of eternal suffering. Yes they have condemned people to burn in hell for eternity for teaching that the earth is round in the same way that they have condemned people for teaching us to slip a rubber in our dicks. I say no to organized religion and yes to true spirituality. Once we give up the fear, then we see the light, we find the answers and even see the face of God. At this point in my life I feel that way, free, unlimited, always creating, eternally expanding with a God that is pure unconditional love.

Love and Light,
Kung Fu Panda

He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence.

Free Private and Confidential Testing for Syphilis, HIV, and Hepatitis B. April 29, 2012, Sunday, 10 am to 3 pm. Exclusively for men who like men. Pre-register at http://tinyurl.com/apr29test

The Club Bath Raid of April 2012

Hi Migs,

Tawagin mo na lang ako sa pangalang Vic, 27 years old at nakatira sa Cavite. Gusto kong ikwento sayo ang karanasan ko kagabi. Ni raid ang Club Bath.

Dalawang taon na ako member ng Club Bath. Nagpupunta ako dito at least once a month sa tuwing nakakaramdam ako ng libog. Convenient kasi. Punta ka don, makipagsex ka, uwi pagkatapos. Nalaman ko ang Club bath online. Based sa mga nabasa ko, ito ang pinaka malinis at safe sa lahat dahil malakas daw ito sa Pasay City Hall. Katabi nga lang naman ito halos ng City Hall, so may point ang descrption na ito. Ang downside lang ay karamihan ng parokyano nito ay matatanda compared sa Fahrenheit sa Cubao. Totoo naman lahat ng ito, except sa description na “safe”.

Dumating ako kagabi sa CB bandang 10pm. Pagdating na pagdating ko, tumungo agad ako sa steam room. Dito ko nakilala si Anjo (hindi niya tunay na pangalan). Sa steam room, nagyakapan kami, hipuan, kiskisin ng titi at halikan. Pagkatapos, tinuloy namin ang sex sa kuwarto niya sa 1st floor. Matapos iyon, nagyosi kami. Habang ang sarap ng kwentuhan namin ni Anjo, bigla na lang may lumabas na naka T-shirt na may handy cam. Hinahabol nung lalake ang dalawa pang lalaki na halatang takot na takot at umiiwas sa camera. Naturally, kinabahan ako at napabalikwas. “Raid ito!” ang sabi ng lalaki. Kumaripas ako ng takbo palabas ng terrace. Nang marating ko ang locker area, lahat ng customers ng Club Bath ay hindi magkanda ugaga sa pagbibihis. Dali dali akong nagbihis. Halos sumabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba. Natatakot ako na baka andon ang TV Patrol, or si Mike Enriquez. Shet! Read more »

Nessun Dorma / Outrun Love

Naranasan mo na bang maghabol nang maghabol? Pagod ka na ba sa katatakbo?

Tired of chasing Ken, Paul meets him one last time before leaving on a journey to Europe in search for a better place to dream and love. “Nessun Dorma” is an entry to the Asia-Europe Foundation Short Film Contest. LIKE the film’s Facebook Page here.

Watch the full short film here, and LIKE: Nessun Dorma

Dennis

I hate cigarettes, I hate smoking. Just the smell of it gnarls my whole face into an ugly crumpled mess, crying eeewy in aeternum. But I wasn’t always like this. Back in college, I started smoking. During my first years working, I was, in fact, a chain smoker consuming upto 2 packs a day. But realizing its ill effects on my health, I stopped cold turkey. Ten or so years after, I hate it.

Dennis was, for a short period of time, an FB, and that doesn’t mean Facebook. He and I eventually became friends and have been quite close even after that playful episode in our lives. Because he was an FB, I knew from experience that his sexual practices weren’t necessarily safe. So he was one of the first people I encouraged to get tested.

“Hay naku, hindi ko na kailangan magpa-test. Alam ko na. I feel it in my body. Sure na. Final answer.”

I explained to him that no one knows for sure until one gets tested.

“Susulitin ko na buhay ko ngayon. For sure, meron ako. Alam mo yan, Migs!”

He’s a good looking bottom. And he likes doing it without a condom. Read more »

Mark and Bern

“Si Mark ito, Migs.”

This was how our very first conversation started. He called me on my cell, I was in Baras, Rizal, facilitating a learning session for the Philippine National AIDS Council. The signal wasn’t very good but we managed to converse. Mark has been diagnosed positive for the HIV antibody the previous year yet he hasn’t gotten around to get himself checked again after the initial diagnosis. Hence, no treatment, no visibility on his current state of health.

“Healthy naman siguro ako. Wala namang symptoms, wala akong nararamdaman kahit na ano.”

I explained to him that it was usually the case, yet one has to access treatment as soon as possible. “Hindi ka naman kailangan mag-ARV agad, basta ang dapat malaman kung ano ang lagay ng katawan mo.”

“Busy pa eh. Dami pang ginagawa sa work.”

That was one of his many excuses. But fact is, he called me. He needed someone to talk to. He needed support. So we agreed to meet as soon as I came down from my volunteer teaching stint in Rizal.

* * *

“Migs, on my way na ako sa Starbucks. May kasama ako ha.” Read more »

Staycationing in the Metro this Holy Week?

You’re probably reading this because you’ve decided to go against the flow this Holy Week — while everyone else has shipped out of Metro Manila for some out-of-town fun, you are enjoying the bliss of an almost-empty city. What to do, what to do?

The Fabcasters and several other friends have decided the same. Dito rin lang kami ngayon sa Manila, and we’ve thought of staying at a hotel in the Ortigas area to have some wholesome fun together. Chikahan galore, meeting new friends, eating, movie marathon, konting unholy spirits (hehe!), etc — all on Good Friday to Black Saturday. Wanna join? Tara! We’re friendly and we like meeting open-minded and fun-loving friends! Email me at manilagayguy@gmail.com — taralets!

Testimony

Watch the full video. Beautiful.

“Testimony” Lyrics Read more »

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