Jan
22

Matt, the Military Gay Guy

Gay Confusion Entry Feed Trackback

Reader Matt writes about his life in the closet. Let’s hear it from Matt, another MGG, the Military Gay Guy.

* * *

hi migs,

good day!

been an avid reader of your blog and i would just like to thank you for making my day always…at ang saya saya ng comments ng blog mo nakaka hook…

napakalaking bagay para sa akin ang blog mo dahil ito lang ang time na pwede akong maging open sa sarili ko and be connected with PLUs (got that 1 from your blog too, lol). Though d ako nagpaparamdam asahan mo na anjan lang ako nakitawa at naki iyak sa mga blog mo!!!

mahirap kasi ang case ko dahil d ko kayang aminin sa family ko kung ano ako… but i’m sure may hint na cla coz i’m already 30 plus and yet wala pa akong gf, ive skipped reunions and other social gatherings para dna matanong…pasalamat ko nalang wala pang nag asawa sa mga kapatid ko. Very conservative kasi talaga ng family ko and kahit ako parang dko rin kayang sirain yung name ng family ko and trust ng parents ko para sa akin.

Mas lalo pang mahirap ngayon coz i’m working in a military facility and i’m sure patay ako pag nalaman nila. u know what dahil sa pagtatago ko at sa pagka straight (acting) ko wala pa akong masyado experience about sex … puro bayaran lang at medyo mahal dahil I need to travel pa to other cities para lang d mahuli. kaya whenever i read your blog na para kang pinag agawan ay sobrang inggit ako…

parang hopeless na ang case ko dahil pati kaibigan wala ako, parang nag isolate ako sa sarili ko grabe no sobrang paranoid ako pagdating sa isyung yan? wala pa akong napagsabihan kung ano ang sexual orientation ko.

I hope hindi ka nahilo sa email ko dahil feeling ko ako ang nahilo at sana naintindihan mo cya dahil nahirapan akong magtagalog from Cebu kc ako….LOL

hope u will blog more and sana mabigyan mo ako ng mga friends para may makausap man lang ako…labo ko no?

thanks for your time

- matt

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87 Comments So Far

  1. whoa, this case is really tough i have friends na hindi open sa family nila, but the story of matt is totally different!

    Far ta least alam ko yung mga tendencies nila, but unlike you… ni friends around eh wala kang mapagsabihan. I guess you really have to find someone you can talk to, hindi yung masyado mong tinatago.

    Sooner or later, or baka nga before ay may makakapansin sa pagiging alone, i mean wala ka man lang mapagsabihan ng situation mo. Its really diff lalo na’t conservative yugn family mo. Maybe try open yourself to other possibilities, huwag kang matakot your at the right age and mature ka na, i think acceptance is not the issue. If you think na, may hint na ang family mo malay mo nagaantay lang sila na gestures mo or any move from you. Sa ganitong paraan it wouldn’t be that difficult na.

    Anyways were in the 21st century, hindi na ata uso yung major discrimination kung ganoon ang oruentation mo,. Mas mahihirapan ka lang kung wala kang gagawing action.

    I just hope you’ll go on a good process of letting yourslef to be free.

    dazedbluatt at Jan 22, 08 at 8:48 pm

  2. hey matt, i was there once. at hindi man lang ako nagbabayad kasi sobrang takot. pero unti-unti nagkaroon ng kaibigan through a yahoogroup, hanggang nagkalakas-loob makipagkita. ok naman pala. kung gusto mo, pwede kang maging active sa comments dito. kahit papano eh nailalabas mo yung mga frustrations mo, kahit online lang. kung takot ka sa mga nasa pinas, sulatan mo yung mga nasa abroad, para sigurado kang hindi ka-opisina mo yung kausap mo. siyangapala, nasa canada ako =)

    gay blogger in the closet at Jan 22, 08 at 9:32 pm

  3. it’s official. 2008 is the year of the closet kings/queens/chuva

    chuchucaracas at Jan 22, 08 at 9:32 pm

  4. This is my first post here and would like to say that I love this site. Quick question….what does PLU stand for?

    Also, thanks Miggs for starting to post idol hunks of the 80′s and 90′s i.e. Gabby Concepcion etc. One can truly see the change in taste of the Filipino MTV generation. What was sexy and hunky then is now all about lean and defined today. Could this be the influence of the popularity of the Bel Ami, Abercrombie and Fitch models? Needless to say, I’ve been around the world (to quote Lisa Stansfield)and dated all kinds of nationalities and still find the Filipino male to be the utmost in handsomeness and beauty. If you can allow me to share, it is my dream to settle down with a Filipino man. For now I just want to know what PLU means.

    Best,

    Taga Manhattan

    Taga Manhattan at Jan 22, 08 at 9:41 pm

  5. parang nakikinita ko na … na madami na namang mag-eepal na mag-o-offer ng friendship kuno kuno … pero ang habol sex kasi meron silang ‘military’ fetish …
    niyahahahahaha!

    opinion ko lang. bato bato sa langit ang tamaan huwag magalit!

    the very unfriendly – anton maton

    anton maton at Jan 22, 08 at 10:37 pm

  6. hi matt. i know where you’re driving at and i know how it feels. u can text me, 09279624517. im very much willing to help you.

    bam at Jan 22, 08 at 11:03 pm

  7. I am out in the open when it comes to my friends, but still a lot of people think that i’m a straight guy… however, i have the same problem with Matt, my parents and family dont know about my status and i also dont have gay friends also. all of my friends are straight guys and girls. it’s quite difficult for me to go out and be with other gay guys as they seem so judgmental. and most of them think that i’m already taken (i dated someone who told me that i’m the type who can’t be single). Anyway, the circle that i belong to is quite exclusivist, in the sense that we are the saem group that would be at the hippest and hottest parties here in Davao.
    I havent dated anyone for the longest period of time, and if ever i do and he gets to meet my friends or me in person, the guy would easily get intimidated. And also, my straight friends are always on the look out for me. whew, it’s a tough life. xoxo

    xoxo at Jan 22, 08 at 11:21 pm

  8. Hi Matt,Hi Migs

    I had several comments regarding Kiko’s articles. I think Matt’s story is quite similar to ours. The only difference is that no one knows it as you have stated. Its really hard especially in your case (being in military). Im pretty sure that people in military especially in the Philippines are still not open with this kind of matter. I may be wrong but with the way I see it, its really very dangerous to come out to your colleagues (just like mine). I know its hard, I know the feeling too.

    About your family, I believe you have to take it easy. Gradually, they will know it. Yes, the consequences may be disastrous but again, I believe that in the long run, your family especially your parents will accept it. Don’t rush things.

    About paying somebody for sex, just be very cautious. I saw in a recent news that even Syphillis which is almost curable by Penicillin and almost eradicated, are coming back. So always be safe in doing it.

    I believed that you have read kiko’s articles and there are really lots of good and honest opinion regarding our matters. I think it will help (like it did to me).

    Goodluck. You may e-mail me if you want. My e-mail add is in kiko’s article Take care buddy.

    JT at Jan 22, 08 at 11:33 pm

  9. I just want to share with you this poem I I hope it would be helpful to you
    Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy.

    Even if you need to quit your job, or move across country, always do what you really want.

    Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just didn’t work out.

    Never apologize for being successful.
    Only haters want to keep you at their level.

    Never apologize for crying.

    Never apologize for being frugal.
    Just because you save your money instead of blowing it
    on the latest fashion emergency doesn’t mean you’re cheap.

    Never apologize for being a single parent.
    Babies are a blessing.

    Never apologize for treating yourself to something special.
    Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciation.

    Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship.
    Your safety should always be a priority.

    Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship.
    You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.

    Never apologize for saying NO.

    Never apologize to your new friends about old friends.
    There’s a reason they been your friend from day one.

    Never apologize for ordering dessert
    or more than one dessert.

    Never apologize for your taste in clothes.
    It’s your style.

    Never apologize for changing your mind!

    Never apologize for being you!

    “ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!”

    White Queen at Jan 23, 08 at 12:21 am

  10. hi matt,
    i feel and understand what situation you have right now.we are in the same world where being obvious seems the end of everything.parehong-pareho tayo.you are in military service,me in a construction field.ang hirap lalo na kapag reputasyon na ang nakataya.mataas ang designation ko now dito sa dubai,although naglipana ang tukso,di ako makagalaw coz maliit lang ang mundo ng mga pinoy dito.nagkikita at nagkakakilala ang lahat.ang difference ko lang sa yo matt,marami na akong past relationships sa pinas.nagtagal lahat.at wala akong regrets sa mga naging relationship ko.takot kasi ako sa mga bayaran,di ka na sure sa health nila,may mga insidente pa ng pananakit at panghoholdap.di ba?anyway,if you want somebody who can talk to and can ask some advices,just email me @ rogarman326@yahoo.com.

    cavalieron at Jan 23, 08 at 2:23 am

  11. dong Matt,
    taga-Cebu diay ka. Dili na ka kinahanglan moadto pa sa laing isla aron magpahungaw sa imong gibati. Kataas sa atong lugar, sa norte, sa south; daghang ka-adtoan nga nindot ang mga laki kay taga-atoa man gyud og dali kasabot. Pag-amping lang sa dakbayan kay basin og kuyaw ang mga laki diha. Suroy-suroy sad sa mga lungsod kay na-a ang mga lab-as og mga buotan na mga laki. Wala pay mga sakit, og barato pa. Ang uban gani masuko hatagan or malipayon na kaayo sa gamay na gasa. Kasagaran sa mga kabayotan nga BIsaya ganahan man makig-amigo og tabangan ka sa ilang lugar na mag-ila ila sa mga laki. Tapukan, tabangan, hatdan, og tuktokan ka pa sa mga laki.

    Total military man ka, adtoa nang daghang suok-suok kay na-a didto ang lamian. Dili man gani mahadlok ang mga bayot sa atoa sa mga rebelde og sa tawi-tawi. Mosulong gud ang biga didto. Sus dong, kadaghang mga lamian sa atoa, sa Dumaguete, mga kalungsoranon sa Bohol, sa pikaspikas nga Leyte, sa Mindanao nga nagkalidades ang mga laki na ampay ang bayot.

    Hinaot na makuha nimo ang kalipay sa imong kaugalingon

    John at Jan 23, 08 at 3:02 am

  12. matt, u nid friends madami dito nyan! celebrate LOVE! wow! peaceout!

    mouthworxz at Jan 23, 08 at 3:20 am

  13. Hi gay-blogger-in-the-closet, Hi Tony, Hi Hi Matt, c/o Migs

    Gusto ko sanang makipag-kaibigan sa inyo. Pareho nyo ako who’s almost caught in the same situation. I don’t want to come out (yet)…I’m not sure or I don’t think I have to or need to. It is difficult pero sa ngayon I’m not ready to do anything drastic or something that may complicate my already complicated life. Need your help.

    Kuya Migs, you may send my email addr to the people above if they’re interested. Salamat po ng marami.

    Cave Igan at Jan 23, 08 at 4:27 am

  14. Minamahal na matt,
    .
    Gusto ko lang ipaalam na di ka nagiisa. Madami na nagkumento sa taas (pati sa baba), ay pinagdaraanan, dumaan, at pagdadaanan ang iyong sitwasyon. Ako man ay tago at ni kailan di ko gugustuhing malaman ng pamilya ko (unless mahanap ko ang aking One Great Love). Magkaroon ka ba naman ng pamilya ng mga pari, mga kaibigang nagpapastor, homophobic na praternity isali mo pa tatay ko, at isang tiyuhing bading na napariwara ang buhay, ewan ko nlng. Buti nalang lahat sila ayaw pa ako magasawa.
    .
    Kahit ako ay minsan (isang beses) nang sumubok ng bayaran (sa isang illegal na masahista)… ginawa para lang maranasan ang junior ng iba (badtrip lang mas malaki pa ata ang akin). Not until naranasan ko ang spa (impluwensya yan ni kuya migs at ng iba pa). Ung legit na spa ha, lakad ka lang, rampa, at tyak me susunod na sayo patungo sa sauna (hihi kaya ngayon, kasama ko lagi si bf pag nagpapaspa ako, todo bantay, tara wensha tayo :) )
    .
    Dagdagan pa ng lintik na G4M (ayan, impluwensha talaga ni migs dito ko nalaman tungkol dito, me kasama pang RealJock na ad).
    .
    Payong kafatid lang iha, katulad ng nasabi ni JT, dumarami ang kaso ng nakahahawang sakit (sa byaran at kahit sa libreng pang isang gabi lamang/ one nyt stands). Swerte mo nalang kung hindi pa nagkakaroon ng resistant strains sa simpleng Penicillin ang dumapo sayo.
    .
    At kung iyong mamarapatin, tara, sama ka sa aking closeta y cabinete, ihahanap kita ng asawa (bakit nga pala nauso itog term na to sa PLUs?). Magaling ako maghanap, pwamis. Madaming paraan na di malalaman ng tao na si Narda ay si Darna, na si Matt ay si Ttam. Tara na byahe tayo. hihihi text moko: ling jiu yi qi – ba yi si – wu san san san. hehehe.
    .
    Ang iyong ate,
    FBITC
    .
    OO Anton Maton. Madaming puputak. Peace.

    anotherfratboyinthecloset at Jan 23, 08 at 6:45 am

  15. Hala, are you guys sure this military gay guy is hot? Dami na nagpahaging dito a hehe. He says “he works in the military.” He didnt say he’s a soldier. Sorry to spoil your military fetish guys. Hehe.

    iamsam at Jan 23, 08 at 8:02 am

  16. sacrifice without freewill is sacrilege.

    Isaribi at Jan 23, 08 at 8:35 am

  17. im also discreet and im from Davao and im also with a group that would be at the hippest and hottest parties here in Davao. we may be groupmates xoxo.. who knows..hehehe

    xuxu at Jan 23, 08 at 8:58 am

  18. count me in as a friend. feel free 2 email me. psych dn ako, kya i thnk i can help.

    mykeyohann at Jan 23, 08 at 10:08 am

  19. hi matt….. mahirap talaga mag tago.pareho lang tayo….ako pag tinatanong bakit wala pa asawa at the age of 35….. sagot ko gusto ko mag payaman muna para di maghirap ang family ko(galing kc ako sa mahirap na angkan…hehehehe)and another excuse single blessedness is also a vocation para ka na din ng profess ng vows (vow of celibacy….ay cele “bate” pala)…. bakit nga ba malaking issue sa kultura natin na pag nasa age 30 ka na at wala ka pa asawa eh dapat mag habol ka na… kung choice ba talaga natin maging single for ever wala na sila paki alam dun……hirap no. ako basta masaya sa ganito….go…go…go

    trebs72 at Jan 23, 08 at 10:52 am

  20. I’ve recently met someone from the guys4men website. He is 38 years old.

    Last January 2007 lang ang first sexual encounter niya with another man. When I’ve met him last October, he’s been making the rounds na. He reminds me of a child in a candy shop, with a fistful of money and wanting to try out all the flavors available.

    He’s quite aware and worried that his sell-by date is approaching or has gone by already. He’s been rejected for being too old, and new enough to be hurt by the mean words said by the young pretty things on the net.

    He has quite a few regrets. One was that he did not come out when he worked in Japan. He could have had a blast with all the hot guys there.

    The thing is, I like him. But at this time, having a relationship with him is asking for trouble. He’s having too much fun to settle down.

    Anyway, 30 plus and no girlfriend? You’re not fooling anyone.

    isagani at Jan 23, 08 at 11:07 am

  21. Ang swerte mo naman nasa campo ka! Daming ombre dian ha! Hindi ko pa na try mga marines or Phil. Army. Puro kase mga pulis hada ko d2 sa campo malapit sa amin, in full fairness, sa isang platoon, may 3 to 4 na pwedeng-pwede, ganda at kinis lang katawan ang puhunan ko ha … hehehe

    MsNinja at Jan 23, 08 at 11:08 am

  22. In Memorian: Heath Ledger

    Heath Ledger found dead today at 3:30 PM in a Soho apartment. I hope his portrayal of a closeted homosexual in Brokeback Mountain has brought inpiration and light to others still in the closet, by choice and or circumstance. Life’s short, live life like each day was your last, be free to love whomever your heart desires and lastly…love yourself.

    Best,

    Taga Manhattan

    http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/movie-news-story/ar/_a/heath-ledger-found-dead-at-home/20080122165209990002?ncid=NWS00010000000001

    Taga Manhattan at Jan 23, 08 at 11:27 am

  23. hey matt,

    crap friendship. i always dream of dating a military guy.. hehe

    ill be in cebu soon. hope we can meet there… ehehehehe peace!

    blue_harajuku at Jan 23, 08 at 11:43 am

  24. Tutulungan nyo kaya si Matt kung muka shang Kabibe?

    Toots at Jan 23, 08 at 1:49 pm

  25. hi matt,

    yeah, it’s really hard kung hindi open sa family mo ang totoong ikaw. i feel the same way as you are. pero ang hirap naman yata kung wala ka man lang nakakausap or wala kang friends who share the same sentiments. you should at least try to mingle with other PLUs.

    well, if you need a friend, we’re here for you. or you can just leave a message in my site. Ü

    adrian™ at Jan 23, 08 at 2:05 pm

  26. hi matt!
    like the many others. I too have same sentiments and concern. Mahirap magtago. I work and reside in cebu nga pala. Am a married guy who got biten by the bi-curiousity bug. Up until now still in confusion of my identity. Unlike u I haven’t have any experience kahit sa bayaran kasi am afraid abt health issues.

    hope i can talk to u some other time. Should u wish to contact me. u may email me at mike112505@yahoo.com

    paabot ko sa imong tubag sa akong email.

    mike at Jan 23, 08 at 2:07 pm

  27. Ey Matt,

    Hang on.
    In time, you will find friends who are probably like you and are undergoing the same difficulty. Trust me, I also experienced that. It was very difficult; I didn’t know who to talk to but I am adjusting and I hope this will happen to you.

    P.S. Ayaw kaguol, taga-Cebu sad ko…

    Knight Geronimo at Jan 23, 08 at 2:27 pm

  28. What’s your e-mail address?

    ako ito at Jan 23, 08 at 2:43 pm

  29. Thanks

    Matt at Jan 23, 08 at 3:58 pm

  30. matt.. bai…

    ayaw kaguol sa imung sitwasyon daghan kayo mo na nagatago pa…dili lang ikaw.. kaya nimu na.. basta kabalo ka unsa ka kana ang importante..
    kung mahadlok paka mag langtad sa imung pamilya.. hinay hinaya lang gud..
    kung nakay sister mas maayo sa iyaha kay kana makasabot dyud.. iwita imung mama of papa hehhehehe.. kay katong ako gipang iwit nako para dili ma atake hahahahah..
    anyways… if you needed someone to talk to just send me a txt message.. 09195064310.. if you think im after your body… heheheheh. well if you see me you wouldn’t be disappointed also. LOL…

    cge bai. ayo ayo…..

    JUN

    ranmas at Jan 23, 08 at 4:47 pm

  31. Hi,

    I agree with anton maton, marami na naman ang susulat about being friends and so on and so forth. But I think the writing per se speaks about what the person’s intention, it depends on you Matt and to everyone of us here if we are going to take the bait or not. I think everyone reading this blog are mature enough to think what they want and what they are really after.

    I think anton you are just being true, at least there are still people who express their honest opinion.

    I also agree with “gay blogger in the closet” that you may start writing those person who are far away (living abroad). I don’t think they are damn enough to go back to the Phil. just for sex. But of course, it depends on Matt and the person concern.
    Kanya-kanyang opinion lang yan. You may click with somebody but not everybody.

    Goodluck.

    JT at Jan 23, 08 at 5:46 pm

  32. Absolutely I agree with Anton Maton, nothings change in this kind of open conversation. Dude you can’t blame them, maybe scratch your own balls and see what’s the difference.

    The guy is apparently searching himself to be out of his own closet, I guess so?

    SO be gentle let’s a have a one word na matulugan siya, not in that sense of “Due you can count me, I could probably help you, so here’s my num ###… and so on”.

    I’m not flagellating anyone’s reaction but pare-pareho lang tayo, there’s no difference, if we guys really wanted to help. No need to publicize it, words can tell.

    To JT and White Queen you guys gives the best shot so far! I look upon on you :)

    dazedblu at Jan 23, 08 at 5:52 pm

  33. Matt,
    SEB tayo! =)

    peppoi at Jan 23, 08 at 7:44 pm

  34. Hi Dazedblu,

    Thanks for the complement. I agree with you on ” be gentle and give words to help someone, not to hurt someone, not to bite someone”. I also believe we are all the same, ugly or not, thin or thick, short or tall, it doesn’t matter. I think what really matters is the real intention of each and everyone. But this is a free country, a free blog to make free comment and opinions. Everyone can write what they want ( but I hope with modesty). So who are we to judge? Only judges do that (wow, corny, LOL). Thanks again dazedblu.

    JT at Jan 23, 08 at 7:56 pm

  35. hey Matt,
    I am not new to ur problem, coz I do have same except that I am open in my family. My Father is retired military, my brother is a retired military both sides of my parents aae also in the military. They accepted as long as you are not loud with ur actions and that you are very carefull with your behavior. If you are professional and on the right age I guess u dont need to worry. Do it gradually, they wil understand that later on…

    Kabul Guy at Jan 23, 08 at 7:59 pm

  36. well… guys inaamin ko habol ko cya.. so what if i take the bait… for sure.. matt is mature enough to know… and i dont believe na innocente cya … com on guys.. matt doesnt need our help.. he needs guys to symphatized with him and have a way with these guys for free also in the end….
    well matt.. you can have me for free.. nice story i fall for it ahahhhahahahha.

    ranmas at Jan 23, 08 at 9:37 pm

  37. Good day Migs, Have been an avid fan of ur blog pero mga 3x palang siguro ako nakapagcomment and this one is the most personal of all. I really wanna know this guy kasi i could really relate sa kwento nya. As i read nga parang kwento ko.Have been finding a courage to share it with a friend kaya lang parang wala pa talagang worth the trust. Not that wala akong friend na nice, I do, but parang i duno kung kaya nilang i understand ang situation ko. That’s why i would really appreciate if i would be able to communicate or make friend with this guy. At least I know na we will be able to understand what we are going through because we are on the same boat. Thanx!

    kris at Jan 23, 08 at 9:53 pm

  38. To Matt and anotherfratboyinthecloset, Can I have your email add? =)

    Skiroid at Jan 23, 08 at 10:06 pm

  39. Different face, same tale. Matt, if I were you, siguro unti-untiin mo kaya yung pagbibigay ng hint sa family mo about your sexual orientation. MAS mahirap kung later in your life na lang na bibigay ka. when you say GAY di naman ibig sabihin eh effem ka na or you wear make up and start being a tranny. its only an option. You are still you, your own identity. kaya lang yung lifestyle mo iba. Hindi naman kasi ibigsabihin eh ibroboradcast mo sa buong mundo na isa kang bakla. no hindi ganun kaya nga may tinatawag na discreetion di ba?

    Hindi ko masasabing I UNDERSTAND your situation kasi I dont know what conditions yung ikinuconsider mo. Basta gawin mo yung sa tingin mong tama at maingat. hindi porque bakla eh magiging kalabit subo ka na. tulad ng sinabi ng ating mga kapatid dito, maging wise tayo sa pagpili lalo na kugn nagkalat yung mga STD. Di na ako magpapaka hipokrita – Sarap kaya ng sex pero may responsibilidad tayong dapat isa-alang alang bago nating simulan ang masarap na pakikipagniig.

    White Queen at Jan 23, 08 at 10:17 pm

  40. hi migs,

    i would like to say thank you for giving my humble story a space in your blog and also to all those who have given a piece of their mind (decent or otherwise),i hope that i can be as brave as u are.

    special mention to anton maton, jt, white queen and dazedblu – i can feel your conc

    matt at Jan 23, 08 at 10:45 pm

  41. -bad trip d ko pa natapos na post na!!!

    ern… I appreciate it.

    gusto ko lang linawin, hindi ako mukhang kabibe at hindi rin ako iha …pero natuwa ako sa mga comments …sobra!

    matt at Jan 23, 08 at 11:01 pm

  42. siyet! buhay na naman ang fans club ko! sige na nga,magiging friendly na nga lang ako kuning kuning for a change…. kaso wala ako sa pinas. niyahahahahaha!

    anton maton at Jan 23, 08 at 11:28 pm

  43. i love the very unfriendly anton maton, kaia ayaw ko xa maging friend, parang ang hirap sa military,of all kasi bakit dun pa, pede naman CEO na lan din lang .smiley.

    sapphire at Jan 24, 08 at 6:06 am

  44. migs, brave? he doesn’t even show his face or use his real name.

    mike at Jan 24, 08 at 9:12 am

  45. hello matt!
    we can be friends. pareho man sad ko sa imo sa una. bag-o ra ko nag open sa akong friends and family about being gay. magkasinabtanay jud ta kay kantigo man ko mag cebuano. dili na ka kinahanglan magtinagalog. hehe.. email me at jrjrbnx@yahoo.com.

    bayot pero murag dili at Jan 24, 08 at 10:38 am

  46. halo bai mat ok ra na oi bsta dli mag drugs(hehehehehehe)btaw cbuano sad ko.kun e hinay2 kha na nmo og solti sa imo parent.bahala na og ma korat cla.hehehe

    jancy at Jan 24, 08 at 2:31 pm

  47. hi matt,
    okay ra na bay. wa man ka nag-inusara! (di ka nag-iisa!)
    hope you learn to appreciate more of yourself and do no lose hope. you are unique, no one can match your features, talents, gifts and personality. just magnify your strengths and capabilities and while recognizing your weaknesses, do not focus on them.
    find significance in your life.
    imong higala,
    ***kiko***

    kiko at Jan 24, 08 at 3:05 pm

  48. i like this post…we’re on the same boat Matt..i think my family already knows my sexual preference kya lang para d nga masira name nla they always insist n pakasalan k ung girl n tipo nla para sa kin… though quite unfair nga dun s girl… isa pang dahilan is dat i am the only guy in the family and the only guy who still bears the name of my whole clan of my father side. think of the cruelty of the position i am now…its hard and i always take myself isolated to everyone specially to my relatives…i hope i can be ur friend to …

    marvz at Jan 24, 08 at 6:13 pm

  49. Charuz! iringa ko yut..yupak oi..

    Kris Aquino at Jan 24, 08 at 9:15 pm

  50. susunod PRIEST na gay na ang susulat kay MGG

    sapphire at Jan 24, 08 at 9:29 pm

  51. ey matt
    wow that’s so sad na man. if you want a friend I will be your friend. Kung gusto mong mag talk just txt me at this number 09157982154. You dont have to reveal your personal information, like wer you live or what’s your real name. but we can talk about anything personal and it will be just between you and me. You have nothing to fear because i have no intention to meet you or what. Takot akong makipagmeet with anyone. it would be like “you’ve got mail” na movie ni tom hanks at meg ryan. they talk about anything pero no personal info regarding their identity was exchanged. anyways if you feel like having a txtm8 feel free to text me. (~_~)

    chris murdock at Jan 25, 08 at 3:49 pm

  52. i dont think na if youre gay.. wala ka na talagang tendency magkagusto sa isang babae.. mas pinapaboran mo lang magkagusto sa lalaki pero theres still the slightest chance na magkagusto ka sa babae.
    ‘
    pero ang tanong..within ur reach ba ung babaeng un.. ung babaeng tatanggapin ka whole-heartedly and still love you and your flaws..

    jet at Jan 26, 08 at 3:02 pm

  53. see we’ve got it right!

    JT, thanks too.

    No prob Matt, its okay…

    dazedblu at Jan 26, 08 at 3:19 pm

  54. btw sapphire, astig na idea yun! hehe :P

    dazedblu at Jan 26, 08 at 3:19 pm

  55. I work in a military camp in Cebu also.. but not as a soldier rather I cut their hair… Bwahaha!

    Matt, enjoy life oi.. Im sure daghang bayot sa imong mga kauban pud. I heard mag-inunayay ra ang uban sulod sa kampo.. but their lips are sealed.. Join the fun.

    Naa daghan callboy diha sa Fuente O.. Pili-a lang ang gwapo.

    I use to be in the same problem but not anymore.. I’ve given my family some hints and now after many years my parents are beginning to understand.. I even brought an ex-boyfriend home but my ma didnt say anything anymore.

    Fernando IX at Jan 26, 08 at 10:55 pm

  56. @ azedblu: you are welcome. people like you should be special mentioned and thanks again.

    @ Matt: hope everything is going on smoothly. Take it easy pal, its not the end of the world. I beleive light will shine your path. Take care.

    JT at Jan 27, 08 at 12:22 am

  57. uhm, matt. ewan ko kung anong sasabihin ko sayo na hindi mo pa naririnig.

    *hug* na lang, sis.

    neinsager at Jan 28, 08 at 9:09 pm

  58. Hi, Matt. From Cebu also. And like you I’m hiding my true self from the world also… Am I lonely? Yes. Am I scared going out? Yes. Right now, I could feel the wear and tear of hiding… although there are days that I sometimes used to my other self. I have friends, yes, but they do not know who I truly am. And now also, I’m hopelessly in love with my bestfriend who doesn’t have any clue of who I am. It’s frustrating. It’s painful… esp he’s in love with his girlfriend. I’m planning to cut out my relationship with him being friends because I’m tired of hoping… If you want to rant on your life… you can email me at nescafe_male@yahoo.com. Perhaps we both can pitch in encouragements from there…

    marc at Jan 29, 08 at 11:25 am

  59. Hey Marc,

    That’s sad.
    I have fallen in love once and that was painful. It took me time to move on but the person never knew how I felt for him because in the first place, I know it will go unrequited.

    Freakin’ feelings.

    Now, I try as much as possible never to fall in love. It’s darn hard. Really hard. I’m from Cebu too, by the way.
    I don’t know what to tell you. Probably, just hang on and in time, you’ll know what to do.

    Hey, I’m here.
    I’ll listen.

    Knight Geronimo at Jan 29, 08 at 3:58 pm

  60. matt, you need a big hug!

    definitely such a difficult situation. i was fortunate to come out in an environment where being gay was not the worst thing to happen to socially-staid parents and siblings.

    i came out to my family and friends, and most were quite open about it. what blew my mind was when my closest friends told me that they were just waiting for me to come out. at 21. that was years years ago. hehe!

    a very important question you should ask is which is dearer to you:

    being the you you were meant to be (and therefore free to explore yourself)

    being the you other people expect you to be (and therefore free to act on their expectations)

    each of us has his own paths and destinations to choose. a single choice can lead you somewhere you might not expect, be it a pleasant one or otherwise.

    i wish you luck and happiness. they will come to you when you need them most.

    trey at Feb 4, 08 at 3:16 pm

  61. kakaiba.. ^_^ ang kyut naman nun.. taga cebu din ako ahihi..

    Nash DAvE at Jul 8, 08 at 2:50 pm

  62. haaaaaaaay , wala pa ring nag bago sa buhay ko after na post dito ang life story ko. Pero i stopped na the out of the city sexcapades…. zero na ang sex life ko ulit. Pag medyo dinadalaw ng libog go nalang ako agad sa mga massage parlor para ma de-stressed and sometimes distressed…

    matt at Sep 20, 08 at 1:48 pm

  63. hi,

    im happy to know this site..i dont have any friends na bisexual.tago din ako gaya ang iba not bcoz mahiya ako sa mga nakakaalam kung hinde sa parents ko.mattas kasi respect nila sa akin pati mga nababayan ko.hinde naman sa nnagmamayabang kilala kasi ako sa amin as rule model sa mga kabataan at kasing edad ko..kaya gustohin ko man lumabas na and to revil my real identity sa gender pero yan ang factor kaya hinde ko magawa.kaya nga at the age of 26 wala pa rin ako makita an mayino na ka relation..im working in dubai..financialy im stable this time..gusto ko alng makita yung tao na makapagbibigay sa akin ang lakas nang loob na harapin ang kinanatatakotna ko.at makita na rin ang taong pwede ko makasama hinde man lang pag habang buhay at least sa kung mayron ako ngayon..

    ramsky26 at Sep 20, 08 at 3:11 pm

  64. to gay blogger in the closet….medyo similar story ko kay matt but i am an ex seminarian, medyo halata na ako pero still d p rin ako umaamin…nand2 ako sa alberta canada,,,san k d2?

    jeffrey at Oct 2, 08 at 10:58 am

  65. to gay blogger in the closet again…this is my email addreess jeffreycooldude@yahoo.com 

    jeffrey at Oct 2, 08 at 11:01 am

  66. Matt, find friends na nakakaintindi sa situasyon mo. once you have them, surely and somehow, you will be relieved of your worries. We’re just here dude.

    Bam 09182049838 at Dec 27, 08 at 1:25 pm

  67. Hi Matt,

    I understand your situaion…wala ka bang friends dyan sa work place mo?

    e-mail ko, Bai, para maka-storya ta… newsdawei at yahoo dot com

    Dawei at Dec 30, 08 at 11:04 am

  68. pwede rin tau mag friends. heres my number 09065001901

    jramel at Jan 28, 09 at 3:11 pm

  69. Hi Matt! i am willing to be your friends even sa email we can share, kasi nasa abroad pa ako.take care alwyas and hope to hear from you soon.

    jake at Jan 28, 09 at 9:22 pm

  70. ang bakla naten

    doug marasigan at Feb 6, 09 at 9:38 pm

  71. hello! Just read your story. Anyway, we can share stories because i also belong to the same situation as yours. What’s your e-mail address?

    edgar at Feb 19, 09 at 12:56 pm

  72. hello there matt. Can u give me your email add or cel#? Im very much willing to help you. My cel# is 09093219140. Thanks

    edgar at Feb 19, 09 at 11:00 pm

  73. well,… napaka complicated ng cituation mo… your position and status in life… if you need someone to talk to.. you can reach me through my YM or you can email me at sniper_harry7@yahoo.com… you can share your feelings and thoughts… im here to listen and give aome sort of advice… nice to meet you….

    mike at Mar 6, 09 at 1:51 pm

  74. Hi!
    Your situation is hard but let me tell you that being going out in the closet is the best thing that I’ve ever did. Your family will hate you but they will eventually accept you because in the end, you’re still family. I come from an old conservative family too but I just want to be free of the burden of hiding that part of me, the real me. Basta, take it from me nga lang that when you decide that you’re going out, make sure na your self sufficient na para wala nang masabi parents mo sa’yo. Your time will come.There will come a time that you’ll be ready and you don’t want to do anything but come out. Mine came when I commited to my long time partner…he helped me a lot. I hope you find that one too.

    fratboi02 at Mar 10, 09 at 6:29 pm

  75. mike, can i have your number pls? am from cebu too…

    clemence at Mar 23, 09 at 7:44 pm

  76. mike… gitubag ka sa military man… naa ka contact number niya… i wanna help him….

    email me… please…

    shatteredwack@yahoo.com

    thanks… hehhe

    shatteredwack at Mar 30, 09 at 1:16 am

  77. Maybe the AFP should revive the Sacred Band of Thebes.

    Nick at Apr 19, 09 at 11:53 am

  78. were here ricky_Zamoras@yahoo.com.ph

    rickz at Jul 21, 09 at 1:59 am

  79. Helo matt. . Mhrap ang sitwasyon mo pero kung aq sau jaz be hu u r. .Dahil mlalaman dn nla pgkatao mo pgdating ng pnahon. .At least wla ka gnagwang msama na mkakasira xa reputasyon ng pmilya mo.. .Ako nga army tatay q marines kpatid q, ,pero tnanggap nla aq, dhl ngpakatotoo lng aq. .Kya nang nlaman nla ok lng..Anu p mgawa nla e gnun ka db? Bliktarin kman e ikaw p rn un. .Wag ka mtakot xa anu pwedi mangyari sau at kung anu gwin nla sau, sa halip mtakot ka ky GOD. .Sabi nga xa mga nbasa q ‘man by nature is bisexual’. .Jaz do ur means 2 reach ur end. . .Tnx. .Heres my email kng gs2 mu ng kausap wla dn kxe aq gnagwa eh. .ariesnobleza_se@yahoo.com.ph

    Smokaholic at Aug 18, 09 at 7:03 pm

  80. i quit my job but still not out… at least i’m not as desperate nung sinulat ko to…

    sana mahanap ko si happiness!

    matt at Oct 16, 09 at 8:14 am

  81. could I get your email add matt, just want to say something to you in private if possible. thanks a lot or you can send me a message to this email. bajarantonio@yahoo.com

    tony at Nov 29, 09 at 6:10 pm

  82. just looking for someone na magmamahal ng totoo
    sa katulad ko…hirap ng magtago at magpangap sa karamihan.please help me!

    ken co at Dec 1, 09 at 9:31 pm

  83. looking for somebody para mabuksan kung ano talaga ako,please!

    ken co at Dec 1, 09 at 9:33 pm

  84. @Matt and anotherfratboyinthecloset
    looks like both of you are chinese right? same here by the way. and i have the same experience ur having now Matt, and i really don’t have plan to let my family, relatives, friends know what im tripping of. never. although mahirap pero kakayanin naman hehe.
    @anotherfratboyinthecloset
    madalas ka yata sa wensha, what branch? been to both branch pero mas gusto ko un pasay branch, and may natry nga ako masseur na tlga in all the way ako… pero paingat ingat din baka kasi may mahuli haha.
    @matt
    why not try to go to spa with us someday? kahit dun lang ang gimik or meet up para man makaunwind ka minsan.

    lastly, pahingi naman email add nyo, send nyo dito sa triptriptayo@yahoo.com
    pls. remember to introduce urself as i might forget you.

    jerie at Dec 2, 09 at 1:47 am

  85. jerie, sino masseur mo wensha pasay?

    bj at Dec 2, 09 at 8:13 am

  86. kung makikipagkilala kayo.. dapat mula sa puso!

    douggy at Dec 31, 09 at 5:58 pm

  87. you know what!!!
    be thrue to yourself, dahil kung magiging totoo ka sa sarili mo!!! mahahanap mo ang tunay na ikaw!!
    i know, there’s no such thing like gays!! nasa isip lang natin yan. ang mahalaga is kung ano ang nadarama natin!!! i was once like you!!!!
    im mirmo!!!
    goodluck matt!!!
    wish you all the luck!!!
    god be with you!!!

    sweet_mirmo@yahoo.com at Jan 4, 10 at 4:01 pm

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