Cebuano Yuppie seeks help as he goes through the all-so-familiar “confused” phase. Readers, help me help your fellow ka-MGG. Here’s his letter.
Hey Migs,
I’ve been thinking for quite sometime now if I really need to write you about this “thing”.
I just recently got hold of your website and I’ve been trying to read all the things that are helpful like advices and stuff.
I am no ordinary yuppie.
Migs, I think I am gay.
Or probably I’m confused.
I don’t know…
I’m 23 years old and I come from a very conservative family. You see, this thing started when I had a workmate who shared my interests, the same likes, the same books, same movies and I must say, he is the exact replica of me. He doesn’t smoke and doesn’t drink and alike but the problem, Migs is that I kinda liked him. We went to this fastfood shoppe and we just talked for hours and debated. And it was great, Migs! I could’t even have this kind of conversation with any of my past girlfriends.
It felt like I fell in love with him. Well, not physically but he’s like someone I want to spend time with. And when I realized this, I decided to ignore him. It was too “alien”. I even felt jealous when I see him talking with girls. It was really different so I had to forget him. Now, I still see him at work. When we see each other, we just say “hi” and then go on our ways.
I thought I have moved on but Migs, that was just the start. I discovered that in our place here, there are actually cinema houses that show bold shows and out of curiosity, I got inside and I realized that there are actually “things” going on inside these houses. You know, one thing led to another. I had my first taste of being “bj-ed” and I liked it. So I kept on coming back…
I know. I feel so dirty and I just want to stop. I want someone whom I can have a relationship with. Someone from the same sex. I have had girlfriends but it’s really different when you kiss someone from the same sex or hold hands with. It’s just so different. I’ve met a lot of people who are like me but I feel that they’re only after sex.
I yearn for something else.
I want someone who shares my interests, my likes. Someone I can talk too and hold hands with.
I feel I can only stop going to that place when I have someone who can help me with this confusion.
This is so hard.
I am so confused.
When I see people like me, holding hands and talking, I get envious.
I feel I might not find someone who may like me for who I am.
I feel so lonely, Migs.
Really lonely.
Where can I go to find my “talk mate”?
When will he come?
I’m from Cebu by the way and I don’t know which places where people like me “frequent”.
And this is affecting me that my officemates ask me why I am lonely…
They don’t know that I’m having difficulty dealing what’s inside me.
They don’t know that I’m confused.
Migs, please help.
I can’t talk to anyone else.
I can’t talk to my friends since they see me as someone who is straight.
I am not even sure if I am.
So confused.
Thanks,
Confused Cebuano Yuppie
P.S. You should know that by reading and browsing your website, you have helped me and people like me.
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