iv been a loyal visitor of ur site… i love reading blogs which are sensible and NOT into mere porn.. i happen to read ria’s article and i was moved since i somehow relate myself to Andy.. wel, im hoping that u and ur visitors could help me with my own predicament as well.. so here’s my story.. (this is reality and not a fabrication)
Im Andrew, a 20 year old and i come from a privileged family. as a child, i grew up the way things usually are for a boy. i had girl crushes wen i was in grade skul and even went thru d stage of courstships. in fact, i came thru relationship wd a girl but it failed after almost a year. i went to college and i had a serious relationship wid a model-like chick. she was a campus sweetheart and of course i was proud to have her. but d MURKY and TRAGIC story of my life started here.
my family had a new driver. he is Clint and is 5 years my senior. he is not the typical driver hu is messy and cheap looking. he actually has an appeal and cud be mistaken as a part of r family, shud he be given the proper pointers on grooming. at first, i wasn’t into him, nor was he. we started the employer-employee relationship just well. then, our personalities conived as if we were brothers by blood.
The Family Driver and I
until it came to a point that there was just too much for comfort. we were together almost everyday after school. very soon enough, he told me that he was already falling for me and that he was afraid he might lose me because of it. i was feeling the same way too. so i also admitted my feeling right there and then. so from there, ALL the days of our lives, we started building dreams around each other and i’ve never felt contented dis much. crazy, isnt it?
i forgot about everything and i made him my priority. i dumped my hot girlfirend for him wid void and stupid reasons. i wanted to give him my all and i did. can u imagine that? of cors just like in most relationship, we usually do wat lovers do. he did everything for me as i also reciprocate it. our relationship was give and take. it wasnt prey vs. predator type of thing. i never felt abused or used in terms of material things because he barely asks for something. it was all good.
the twist is dat he has a family and has a daughter. i accepted him amidst those things. he told me dat he loves me more than his family and he made me see and feel it. of course i was happy even if it meant selfishness. her wife found out about our relationship after almost 2 years. they duel most of the time about my relationship wd his husband. but Clint stood by me. his wife just got the hang of it coz she felt defenseless. clint and i continued our relationshp and it reached 28 months.
My life was crushed wen my family knew about it. dey saw our pictures together and things like that. i admitted the crime. dey wer furious abt the whole thing also bcoz r family is somehow known n d business sector. dey planned to wreck Clint’s life just to get even. they felt that Clint was just using and milking me. they opted to fire Clint as our driver but i begged them not to. i asked them for a time to restore myself and that Clint leving wud only worsen my case. dey gave me wat i asked of them but Clint is no longer staying at night. Clint told me that he loved me more than his life and dat he did everything to save us but it was too late. he told me he is uncertain if he cud still work for us. i cried like hell wen i heard it coz it meant the end of us. he said that it was the best thing to do rather than torture Ourselves wd d memories dat wud just haunt us forever. i dint agree wd him. i started growing resentment over him and i cut every attachments wd him. i changed my sim card and things like dat. der was just no sign of each other.
Recuperating — NOT!
during his absence, i collected myself. i thought hard of everything. now that hes gone, i questioned myself if i was just blind to see his real motives or wat. our pyschologist told me that it cud be that Clint was wid me because of financial or emotional instability but then, i wud assert that i never felt that way towards him. he was so genuine and many things cud prove it. i lived a hell of a life during that tym. but i realized that i shud start moving-on but not move-away.
it was my birthday and it was absurd. the first person to greet me was Clint. my heart was pounding and it just relived my past. my emotions started haunting me.. sadly, i was still in love with him. the pacing was very sluggish but we picked up pieces of our past widout reailizing it. we started checking up on each other and became virtual frends since i am PROHIBITED to see him after all. then just 2 months ago, we ironed everything. we lit our relationship back again. we thought that it was just impossible to live wdout each other. and it was him who initiated the move, not me.we secretly, meet up and do our thing. i dnt support him financially becoz i want to prove to myself that his intentions are good.
Am I Happy?
but dis time, im not totally happy wd wats going on.. we barely see each other and felt that our relationship isnt the way it is before.. there are too many restrictions now.. too many…… im getting insecure wd his wife.. honstly, because i am thinking that his wife gets more than what i do… i want to let go.. but i just cant… its heart vs. my mind… how do i deal with this? shud i start living a normal life agn? i become attracted wd both sex now..bt im noy having urges to be in anothey guy-guy relationship.. plss help…
sorry for my autobiography..hheheh i just wanted to detail out things.. thanks man!!!! peace