Oh my gosh, I don’t know how to start this…
I’m a straight woman who fell in love with a guy whom everybody thinks is gay. We were together for almost a year and I battled all my friends — straight girls, guys, gays, and lesbians — they all insisted my boyfriend is gay. But whenever we’re together he doesn’t seem gay at all. People were gossiping that he had a gay lover that he kept secretly.
Last year I broke up with him. Then I chanced upon his blogs and network profile and what I saw made me angry and hurt at the same time. He said he wasn’t gay and he loves me. He even claims he will never be in love again.
Right now, I’m in a good relationship with a guy that I’m sure is straight. But sometimes I think of talking to him again and trying to fix our loose ends. But before I do that I want to know —
… how do you really check if a guy is gay?
… is there such a thing as bisexual men?
… if I go back in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend what will be the consequences of a straight woman and a gay guy being together (aside from being jealous to both sexes)?
All my gay friends are positive my ex is gay and I know my friends love me so much but sometimes when I ask them about my ex they wouldn’t answer why they thought he’s gay. They just say “Basta. Obviously.” It leaves me blank. I might sound foolish to you but I just need your unbiased advise.
I know you’re not Dr. Love but I think you’re mature and your being gay makes you the perfect resource person. I read your articles and I’m already a fan. Very witty and straight to the point opinions. No nonsense.
Keep this up!
Thanks! (I know you’ll help me…)
You said I’m straight to the point, so I’ll attempt to make this quick to live up to your expectations.
Is your ex-bf gay? Not sure, data you provided is not conclusive. However, per my experience, rumors about a guy being gay, especially if shared by a whole lot of folks, tend to be more true than false. Besides, what made you “angry and hurt” about his blog and network profile? I still say “nothing conclusive,” however if you push me to give a wild guess, I’d say he may likely be gay.
How to check if someone’s gay? There’s no cut-and-dried way to check. It’s not a genitalia you can inspect to say if one’s biological male or female. Only way to really know is to ask, and even if you do that, you can’t be sure if he’s being honest.
Is there such thing as bisexual men? Yes. If he’s the typical bisexual though, he’ll probably have a dominant preference — rarely can you find a real 50-50 guy. In fact, most guys I know who claim to be bisexual are actually gay guys who are afraid to admit the apparently bitter but actually refreshing truth about themselves.
Assuming he’s gay, and you still love him, should you go back to him? No. By doing so, you help the guy be true to himself, at the same time you relieve yourself of the complications such relationship can bring. Girl, there’s just so many straight guys to choose from — why pick a gay guy?
Be happy and world peace!