[Here’s a letter / contribution of Coffee Boy]
“Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.
It was the 30th day of my birthday month, though still in the middle of the week, the following day was the end of Ramadan and thus was declared a holiday. I got nothing to do that payday afternoon and so I decided to just hang around. Walking along Timog / Tomas Morato area with no one and with literally nothing to do, I decided to go to one of my favorite spa places and pamper myself with an hour and a half long massage.
So I went inside, had a short talk with the receptionist. I asked her if there were not too many people inside, and was delighted to hear her say “di naman matao sir, tama lang.” at least I’m not alone, and neither is it too crowded…
Well I went in, and saw a bunch of decent looking blokes (Though it pissed me that a number of them are drooling over those who just came in, and even went to as far as following you to the shower. But nevertheless it was an okay crowd.)
Just as any ordinary spa guy would do, I took off my clothes placed the towel around my waist and went straight to the shower area. There were a few gays staring but I couldn’t care less. Had a nice warm shower facing the wall / dividers; I was indeed having a nice time. After that, I went in the dry sauna area. After a few minutes I decided to give the massage a “go”. None of my favorite masseurs were available at the time, but then the newbie (at least for me) didn’t fail me. He has a good warm pair of hands, and it was a definite relief from all the stress I had from work this past week.
After the massage, I decided to take a shower again to wash off the oil. After that, I was planning to leave the place for coffee, but then, when I checked my phone, it was then too early. So I stayed… went back to the shower area, then to the sauna room. On my way to the sauna, I saw a few guys on the Jacuzzi but did not pay much attention. I went inside and alienated myself from the rest of the group by wearing a silly slightly frowning face. It was as if I had a “F*** OFF” sign tattooed in my forehead. Nobody dared talk to me, and so I was relieved.
Fifteen to thirty minutes have passed and so I decided to shower off the sweat… This is when I saw “him” in the Jacuzzi. It was a familiar face, and so I thought. But then the “straight guy” ruled over me and didn’t give a damn. I went straight to the shower area, and, well… showered.
But after a while, this occurred to me, “he was the same guy from two Saturdays ago…” I had a silly sort of “attraction” with this almost bald guy, a slight scar on his cheek, with a decent built. And it was my second time seeing him in the same spa. Little did I care about the other guys, I just wanted to know for sure if he was that same guy I once saw and was attracted to… So I went in the tub with him and seated at the far end of the corner. I was trying to glance at him every once in a while to validate if it was really him, so by then, I was sure he was. I’m sure he was also glancing back, but then we wouldn’t let each other catch that we were…
And so it went on, we were taking a quick look at each other if chance permits. I went in the sauna, after a while he was there too. When I shower, he’s there at times… but nothing really happened besides that.
After a few while, I noticed that the crowd was getting a bit thick, and so I decided to leave. I went out of the wet area to change clothes. He followed… sat at one corner of the waiting lounge, got his phone as if sending a text message. It’s as if he was saying “hey, can I get your number?” I didn’t know what to do… none of this sort has happened to me yet. And so I did not change at once… and lingered for quite a bit. Teasingly, I put on only my boxer briefs with a towel almost wrapped around my shoulder, went in front of the mirror and put gel on my hair. I thought… “hey, I’m sending all the right signals, when will you make a move?” after quite a while, there were already number of guys staring at me, so I felt a bit conscious… so I went on putting on my pants and shirt and prepared to leave. I was in front of my locker (it was 222) when he sat beside me. I thought he was finally making a move, but then again, I assumed too much. He was there because his locker was just right next to me, his was 223.
I didn’t know what got into me, but I could have sworn, I wanted so much to get his number, but then I can’t just simply ask. He was still there lingering, and so am I, as if we were waiting for each other to step forward. So I did… I took a piece of paper, wrote down my first name and my number, and thought that it would be simpler if I just handed it to him. But then, I can’t. So I took my chances, and just left the paper inside my locker beside his. But I made sure that he knew that I left something there.
I went on my way hoping he would indeed get in touch. There was a coffee shop at the same building, I stayed there and met up with my boss, she also is a good friend of mine… and she had something bothering her that night… so we decided to talk it over a cup of coffee. While we were chatting, I received a text message “****?” – (my first name, sorry, I refuse to divulge that info) it was from an unfamiliar number. So I replied: “yes? I’m sorry but may I know who this is?” he replied “Why did you leave early?” I texted back “are you 223? I met up with a friend down here at GJ…” To cut it short, the conversation went on… it was brief and concise… “parang nagpapakiramdaman…” so to say. I learned from that short exchange that he is a senior student from one of the top university, and I’m 1 or 2 years older… just the same, he knew that I was a marketing guy at some establishment near the place… It was somewhat a relief that he made contact.
An hour have probably passed, my boss and I were at the height of her story… when I noticed “him” walking out of the building… he saw me too… it was a cold stare that we gave each other. He walked towards my direction, passed by our side, and went down the stairs behind me. After a while, I texted him again, “ei, you on your way home?” “yep, am a bit sleepy already… why?” he replied. I said. “wala, just thought you might want to hang out still, but then, sige, go ahead sleepyhead!” and the conversation went on again until the time I got home and was about to sleep… well, we talked about basic things, like my girlfriend, my job, his school, his likes… sort of stuff like that. But believe you me, it was a very few exchange of text messages… and I mean literally few. When it got a bit intimate, he asked “Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something, you know?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.
That was the last text I got from him. That night, and the following day… nothing.
I don’t know if I scared him away… or had I been too straight forward, or too intrusive. I really don’t know. So I had to let it pass… so much for my first actual attempt to get to know a complete stranger, with him knowing what I actually am.
Sorry for having to tell you this long of a story… just wanted to tell you exactly what happened… in detail. You probably are the only person who might actually understand and be able to give me a straight forward comment. Tell me pls., what happened there? Am I just being extra sensitive about the whole thing? Should I act on it?
This, I’m sure of; I didn’t do that just so to hook up or anything. It was an authentic effort to make friends with someone interesting. After all, he might be the only person who actually knows who I am, and knows about the whole “no labels” thing. Is that wrong?
I know you and your readers are way too tired of these kinds of stories, so if you won’t publish it or something, it would absolutely be fine. Just hoping you’ll give me sound advices on what to do. You may send it through this e-mail if you opt to J thanks so much migs. You’ve always been a big help.
— kape (a.k.a. Coffee Boy)