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Today I received another one of those queries — it’s been a common thread among several recent questions I received in email and through SMS:

Migs, I’m a girl and I have a boyfriend who I love so dearly. I however have this horrible hunch he is gay. Please Migs, help me, how do I know if he’s gay? What are the signs? Please Migs, I want to know! Help!

So on behalf of all these confused girls who suspect that their boyfriends might be gay, I summon the kindness of MGG readers, do pitch in, how would you answer their question: how do I know if the guy’s gay?

Comments (49)

  1. Maldito said on 26-12-2008

    Restituto : Good for your fucking friend. No pun intended. Happy New Year!

  2. benito said on 25-12-2008

    whats written above before my comment are true, its impossible in this generation you dont know who is he? come on dont cheat yourself, look how he decorated his house or room, second the color he use frequently. i am not against anybody, i like looking cute guys also, because i m not handsome. i used to look carefully how did they make up themselves to let people look at them, if this also consider you are a gay too. wala na lalake sa mundo,i admit i m gay, but d nagwawala kahit anong oras. i just appreciate their outlook.

  3. Restituto said on 05-11-2008

    i have a friend. we met online. we had sex. not just once.  i would say we were both on the downlow. i liked him because my gaydar cant detect a single bleep from him, he is too straight to be gay, and same as what he thinks of me.  we almost fell for each other, but i backed out, he was just too sexually active. we really became good friends tho, i was even one of the abays on his wedding. we always kept in touch. i was his confidante. i asked him if he ever had sex with guys after his marriage. none he said, which i think is true. he and his wife lived together in an apartment. they now a have a baby boy. aside from his regular work, hes got sidelines. hes just too busy to fuck around. i would visit them from time to time. when we get out as a group for a play, he would hurriedly excuse off after the game to go home to his family. he’s putting curfew to himself. one time during a usual exchange of texts, i was confiding some life issues, and asked him how’s life treating him so far, and asked him about his married life now, and the usual urges. he barraged back and summed “nakita ko na use ko d2 sa planet earth. hahaha”. i know the guy, he’s not bluffing.  he sucked dick, he fucked bottom guys like a horse. miracle it may seem, but hes totally changed. So if i would be asked if it’s ok for him to marry my sister, i would say YES. I know hes not str8, but definitely hes no longer active gay. Hes got a big heart. He loves his wife dearly. He loves his son dearly.
    HIM, i would allow my sister to marry. Pero kung si Ogie Diaz, eww no way hosey. hehehee

  4. Maldito said on 04-11-2008

    Siggy : I’ve no problem with a girl seeing a fag as long as he doesn’t suck, touch, kiss, lick, somebody else’s dick during their relationship. 

    Question : Do you know a relationship bet a boy and a fag that didn’t involve infidelity in the part of the fag? 

    If the answer is yes. I’ll shut up.

  5. Siegfried said on 04-11-2008

    That’s because you already set a rule what a homosexual should be. We’re all unique. Each homosexuals are uniqe. Like what I’ve posted before, If the boyfriend truly loves his girlfriend then there would be no problem at all. You love each other and that’s it. You just can’t let other people use your sexuality as a reason because you can’t choose the one you will love.

  6. Maldito said on 04-11-2008

    Saw this in HOW TO SPOT GAYS OR BIs : 

    “I saw an episode in Oprah where they discussed “DL”– Down Low.. About black guys who were into girls and guys. At the same time ha. Malas nung mga babae kasi di nila alam na yung bf/asawa nila e nakikipagsx sa ibang lalake din.. unprotected pa. Kaya nagka HIV sila.
    Nakaka-alarm yung episode kasi marami rin palang ganun at parang helpless na ang babae. Kaya kailangan mo talgang malaman kung BI nga ang bf mo. Wala namang sign na bi sila e. Lalakeng-lalake ang mga kilos at hitsura nila. Sabi nung isang DL guy dun, it takes one to know one daw. And the most common pick up places daw was the church. With a single look in the eye, they knew who was BI. Tsk tsk.. I dunno if that can be applied in the Phils but it kinda makes you think, noh?”

    Now, Seigfried etal : Would you want a sister, a friend, a classmate, an officemate etc. to suffer like this?

    I don’t think so.

  7. Maldito said on 04-11-2008

    Easy for you to say Siegfried. What if the girl is your sister? Would you allow her to have a fag as bf? Let’s not be hypocrites here. 

    Personally, if my sister had a fag for a bf, i’d make sure he doesn’t suck a single dick as long as he is my sister’s bf. Now, if you say I can’t really be sure coz I wont be able to say if he’d been munching on a dick or eating some cute guy’s ass as diversion, then I’ve proven my point : YOU CAN’T TRUST A FAG WHEN A LONG, PINK AND AMAZING DICK COMES ALONG BECOZ HE WILL ALWAYS CRAVE THAT. Once a fag, always a fag.

  8. Siegfried said on 04-11-2008

    SO WHAT IF HE’S GAY? IF YOU LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU BACK, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT HIM AS HIM. homosexuality doesn’t limit someone. even if you’re a homosexual you just won’t know the person you’ll fall in lov with. accept him as he is.

  9. Dita said on 02-11-2008

    When you go out on a date and carries your shoulder bag for you, do you have a hard time getting it back? Sometimes to the point that you remind him that you’re already at your doorstep and still he never hands it back to you? Eeww…

  10. Restituto said on 01-11-2008

    “When you go out, does his face have a matte finish or kinda oily? If it’s matte, he’s most definitely wearing Mac.”  HAHAHAHA.
    And when after an hour, his face kinda turn shimmery, EVER BILENA yun. HAHAHAHHA

  11. milo1972 said on 30-10-2008

    better get a hint – if your bf – dress up like tim yap. always know and suggest the latest trend for you. also straight guys don’t know how to wear proper socks with their shoes. if your bf wear sports (thick) sock with his leather shoes, he is a guy. if not get a hint. 

    also if he is lousy with his fashion taste like most real guys do, i mean not really into details with his stuff, he is not gay.

    this is just my observation because i am gay but i grew up around strait guys and boys

  12. bruhelda maton said on 29-10-2008

    ay sis machuvaneska k to death pagnadiscovery channel mo na ang smelly ng b.f mo kya search k nlng ng new……..kaso karamihan sa kanila jungit nam good luck gurl

  13. Eric said on 27-10-2008

    Just an opinion: it is not proper to ask someone about his sexuality.
    Girl – if you find out he’s gay, what’s next?
    if you’re just interested in finding out ways on finding out if a person is gay or not (for your own personal pleasure of knowing “it” first), there’s this book in national book store (title: gaydar).
    Good luck!

  14. BrenT said on 25-10-2008

    GAy will always be gay–kahit ikahon pa yan–lalabas at lalabas yan– siguro hindi mo na problema ang ganyang bagay–if youre boyfriend knew to himself he is gay–he will let you go and be with a straight guy
    i broke up with my girl because i have confirmed to myself na gay ako when i fell in love with my cute bestfrend–the thing is, wag na tyo idealistic about sa buhay–the point is, may karapatan kang sumaya sa piling ng tunay na lalake–at hindi sa isang nagkukunwari lang–magiging masaya din yun sa knya pag ni let go kana–
    youre boyfrend should be MAN enough to face his real identity-be happy and GAy

  15. lester said on 24-10-2008

    Ate just feel the answer to your question.  If you feel he is gay, YUN NA!!!  Look for another ka na acheng.  Life is so precious for a girl to waste on a gay man.  Spare yourself the trouble of asking the same question after your married to him.

  16. Matt said on 23-10-2008

    Im 16…. madarama mo yun… di epektin yang mga signs even though minsan totoo..

  17. Dita said on 23-10-2008

    Ben : Una, ang mga baklita kahit may GF, chuchupa at chuchupa yan (to put it bluntly) Pangalawa, kung ikaw kapatid mo yung girl, at kwatang yung jowa nya, PAPAYAG KA? 

    i rest my case.

  18. rustcell said on 23-10-2008

    Sorry but for me this is the most inane answer:
    “For me it does not matter if he is gay or not as long as you love each other.
    There are things better left unsaid. Mahirap din umamin dahil minsan kahit sarili mo ay ayaw maniwala. Ito ay base sa iyong orientation.
    Mahalaga ay he is faithful to you at walang extra curricular. Siyempre, he loves you.”


  19. mellicious said on 23-10-2008

    nag wi wave din ba masyado kamay niya pag kumukumpas??…

  20. My yellow shirt in need of pressing, after a thorough washing, and airing said on 23-10-2008

    Not to say anything to detract to your distress, but honestly if you love the guy even his gayness is under consideration for acceptance, oui n’est pas?
    So on the other hand, these give away signs are part of a spectrum, as all gayness is. So take a deep breath.
    1. How does he view himself? How does he view gays?
    I suspect many guys who are closeted either do the avoidance dance or do the opposite, use you as their sheild from the sharp truth
    2. How does he view you? Or how does he view other women?
    I suspect that being with a guy, sharing stuff you’d see how he sees women in relation to every thing else, even his mom, or his sister or you, or some other girl. Are you the enemy? the nice friend? or the quick cover me girl?
    3. How is he with his friends? What are his friends?
    Most guys who are scared to be labelled gay, don’t have gay friends. Else they are doing each other, watch for suspicious intimacies.
    4. Is he a religious nut? An overly driven I have to give my all to some kind of cause guy?
    The term here is sublimation. Go figure.
    And lastly,
    He probably has been talking on MIgs blog.

    So there.

  21. ILoveChris said on 23-10-2008

    hahahahaha.. …sabi nga ni pareng AL PACINO…when in doubt FUCK! hahahahahaha….

  22. BUTTERFLYRHAI said on 22-10-2008


  23. imladris said on 22-10-2008

    Dita’s response, When you go out, does his face have a matte finish or kinda oily? If it’s matte, he’s most definitely wearing Mac.”

    Best clue and advise. HAHA!

  24. Jc said on 22-10-2008

    ask what is his favorite character in the x-men series if he answers storm Bingo! but if he choses cyclops dont be so thankful>> he’s just wondering how beautiful cyclop’s body is. LOL
    snap and bend*

    pro sa totoo i have a girlfrnd before and she ask me kung bading aq sabi ko “oo.. yata” lam mo sabi nya “SABI ko N NGA BA EH sabay tumawa lang xa” tas tinananong ko kung ibbreak nya ko sabi nya hindi xe mahal nya ko aun tumagal kame ng 2 yirs bago kame naghiwalay>>

    nkipagbreak ako sa knya xe ayakong pagtawanan xa ng family nya na bading naging boyfriend nya> aun natakot aq kaya iniwanan ko xa (laki kong tanga)
    haist pro nung nalaman ko na ikksal n xa nakipag kita aq s kanaya tas i want her back kaso nag 2 isisp n xa baka daw iwanan ko ulet xa>> hnggang ngaun hndi mawla sa isisp ko yung tinnnong nya sken kung gay aq which i admitted and she accept me as I am (fact: mas cute aq sa mappangasawa nya LOL, malaki lang katwan nung bf nya ngayon, pro laki ng lamang ko… LOL)

  25. Pronghorn said on 22-10-2008

    A guy is *gay* when he thinks or says he’s gay. “Gayness” is a social construct that requires personal identification. Huwag ipilit sa isang tao ang isang ngalan (label) na hindi naman niya nais para sa sarili niya.

    None the less, most Filipinos are confused with their own definitions of gay. Some use it as a synonym for ‘homosexual’, some for ‘effeminate’, some both! It’s crazy if you ask me.

    As for one’s attraction to the same sex, cliched as this may sound, it is all natural. Humans are bisexual animals. We are attracted to whoever is *hot* regardless of gender. Sadly, repression gets in the way. Thanks to the Churchies.

    Miss, if you love your man and you’re sure he loves you, none of this will ever matter. Just make sure that you talk to him more about this than you talk to others. Be open.

  26. teeguzzin said on 22-10-2008

    sistah! if you can’t ask him directly, try to employ your gaybestfriend to do the homework. 😉

  27. kel said on 22-10-2008

    have him watch any Coco Martin movie…take it from there

  28. meow said on 22-10-2008

    the fact that you’re in doubt — yun na!

  29. Tony said on 22-10-2008

    Do try to understand that he may also not know what he wants yet. He maybe 20yrs. old with an emotional maturity of an 8yr. old. Generalizing here, gay men supposedly have a slower emotional maturity rate than straight boys and girls of their age. Why? Because they typically do not have someone to look up to. What if his answer to himself is “I don’t know.” How will you deal with it? (I myself was in three hetero relationships before I decided that I don’t like it, from the age 15-19).

    I think the question is not whether your boyfriend is gay. The question is, will you ever stop asking that question? Will it eat away your trust? Asking him the question, “Are you gay?” will only lead to a bad breakup or a forced sexual intercourse that neither of you are ready (if you haven’t done it yet). If you feel the relationship is going to go nowhere…. well the question isn’t really important anymore is it?

  30. wrestler said on 22-10-2008

    leave a gay mag and a straight mag in the room and observe him secretly.

  31. chamberboi said on 22-10-2008

    1. if he cares about his hair that much
    2. If he talks about other guys more often
    3. If he cares that much on the type of dress you wear, and suggests what colors that fit u everytime you are in shopping malls
    4. If he rushingly replyign text messages from a cute guy friend(xmpre dapat nakita mo na yung nakita mo na) of him
    5. try to ask him watch staright porno, and try to observe him where his focus is…

  32. jake said on 22-10-2008

    you have sex right? kung no, confirmed.. kung yes, nag eenjoy ba siya?

  33. diosdaddy said on 22-10-2008

    Eto ang tandaan mo:
    1.  Masyadong neat and mabango pa sa iyo
    2.  Kung mag english talagang minding the p’s t’s and the f’s
    3.  kung mag english aba mala dina bonnevie ang accent
    4.  Pag naglalakad talagang catwalk ang drama
    5.  pag nag uusap kayo ang topic ay esoteric hala ka maghinala ka na
    6.  mild drinker ang drama bad for health daw ang totoo ayaw malasing baka lumabas ang naturalesa
    7.  Walang sports gym lang kasi mas maraming body of evidence sa gym hahahaha

  34. Ben said on 22-10-2008

    For me it does not matter if he is gay or not as long as you love each other.

    There are things better left unsaid. Mahirap din umamin dahil minsan kahit sarili mo ay ayaw maniwala. Ito ay base sa iyong orientation. 

    Mahalaga ay he is faithful to you at walang extra curricular. Siyempre, he loves you.

  35. gus said on 22-10-2008

    if he doesn’t want to be found out, it would be difficult for you to know his true nature. asking him out right will just strengthen his defenses. one thing you can do is watch together a gay-themed movie which should start a conversation on this topic. you can then make it clear that even though you can love a gay person as a friend, you can never be involved romantically with a gay man. if he is gay, he will get the hint and it will be up to him to make the next move. hopefully, if he is gay, he will open-up to you. if he is not gay he will agree with you.

  36. Dita said on 22-10-2008

    When you go out, does his face have a matte finish or kinda oily? If it’s matte, he’s most definitely wearing Mac.


  37. Dita said on 22-10-2008

    Does he enjoy “working out” in Fitness First???

  38. Jedd said on 22-10-2008

    If you doubt that he’s gay enough for you to ask a gay blogger about it, then he’s gay.

  39. Isaribi said on 22-10-2008

    Bakit di nalang tayo mag-organize ng grand judging ng mga pinaghihinalaang mga bading… hehehe… tapos lahat ng readers ng MGG ang judges… May hawak tayong mga plakards nakalagay dun GAY or NOT! itataas natin mga sagot natin habang rumarampa sa stage ang mga dina-judge… hehehe

  40. Oliver said on 22-10-2008

    If you’re not sure if your man is straight, that’s probably because he’s not. That’s usually the first sign.

    The only sure way is to ask him. He may try to lie but it’s likely that you’d be able to tell from his reaction alone.

  41. bluebird said on 22-10-2008

    just ask him… if he says yes… e di confirmed…. pag may explanation pa bago sabihin na NO, hay naku ‘day…. bading sya

  42. Kitiw said on 22-10-2008

    You should observe him in his unguarded moments whenever he meets cute hot guys. Usually in that scene, gay guys make longer eye contacts than straight guys do (that is, kung type nya yung other guy) . If you are still in doubt, ask another discreet gay guy to do the observation. However, you should not worry if you’re boyfriend is gay or not. As long as you feel that he loves you and you love him back, you just have to deal with trust issues and both of you can actually make it work.

  43. hotsoul said on 22-10-2008

    if he is a metrosexual
    yung bang isang metro nalang bakla na

  44. Charles said on 22-10-2008

    A Guy Is Gay When:

    1. He has gay porn links on his browsing history on his computer.
    2. When he has more than enough gay friends AND they tell you so that he’s gay
    (i.e. almost all of them? lol)
    3. When he always talk about other guys more than you lol.
    4. When he says so. (just ask okay, nothing beats that)

  45. Richard said on 22-10-2008

    If you have a horrible hunch that he is, then it’s most likely true. trust your instincts.

  46. V said on 22-10-2008

    No brainer iyan, sister.   Kaya nga ginivsung kayo ng kipay intuition, davah?  Now all you need to figure out is, kung sino ang mas mahaba ang trail ng gown kapag humarap na kayo sa dambanah.  LOL

  47. richard said on 22-10-2008

    basically, if your guy loves to take pictures of himself in such weirdest and nakakalokang angles and shots plus meron siyang overly oozing narcissitic personality… for sure hindi ka niya mahal… mas mahal niya ang sarili niya, which is one prominent characteristic of straight acting gay guys. pero hindi naman lahat, eto basic parameter lang.

  48. thedz said on 22-10-2008

    sympre once your boy nagsecond look sa mga nakakasalubong nyang cute na boylet yun na! certified may tatak at ribbon pa ng DFA….

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