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I’ll be out for a while. Here’s a recent letter I received — unedited, verbatim. Read and help our Dubai boy while savoring the rock-hard midsection of this 21-year-old hunk from Cosmomen 2008, Ryan Garalde.

Dear Migs,

Greetings from Dubai!

I am a straight-acting gay guy. I became more discreet here because I was afraid that I might find difficulties to find friends if I show my other side. I don’t have relatives or even friends that know me that can help if in case they will not accept me. Everything was new to me and everything was so hard pretending to be like others.

After a year since I came, I woke up one morning on my colleague’s arms after a long drinking session. He was Richard, (I thought) a straight-acting like me. As far as I can remember he initiated everything. I can still remember how many kiss marks he did to my neck and some parts of my upper body on that time.

We become good friends after. We have so much time together and enjoyed almost every minute of it. We went for coffee, clubbing, watch movies, eat together. We sleep together in one single bed and have some intimate moments occasionally. We even attended one orgy session and picked up a man from a dance club and brought him to our room. But we’re both top, we don’t suck cocks (for ugly men, hehehe..!). I thought, were both gays.

What shocked me most for these past few weeks was his girlfriend, she was pregnant. I allowed him to court the girl because I thought that it is his way to show others his masculinity. I was shocked because he fucked a lady, gets pregnant and the worse is they are in Dubai. Getting pregnant here in Dubai before marriage is a crime. They will put you in jail for several months and will be subjected for deportation.

When I confronted Richard of what had happened, he just answered me “napasubo.” Migs, although I am not directly involved in the situation, I cared so much for them. They’re both my friends and I don’t want them to make a step that will add on their problems. Please help.

Migs, these are my concerns that needs to be settled ASAP:

1. Were planning to abort the child before it’s too late, is it right?

2. Not all knows that they are into relationships; they decided to hide it because they were tease by people here. They know Robert that is gay. The girlfriend is suspecting now that Richard is really gay and she asked me if it’s true. Do I tell her the truth?

3. Should I distance myself from Richard? He needs me more this time.

4. And lastly, why this happened? A straight lady deserves a straight man, quoted from your previous blogs.

Dubai, UAE

Comments (96)

  1. Jig'z said on 10-08-2012

    1.Don’t abort the baby that is a sin! why not just sent girl home(Philippines)

    2. Yes! just say the truth to them but just only be a selected part(huwag lahat) let him be the one to tell the people who really is!

    3. No! you should keep in touch whit him, as what you say he needs you(a lot)this time! he needs a friend that know him and can understand him the most(that is you)!

    4. you know the answers about this!

  2. Shahihihi said on 14-09-2010

    wtf?? RYAN GARALDE is one of my bestest friend ever!! can’t believe this story is real!! we live in the same condominium building in manila..

  3. dion said on 26-03-2009

    hi there, if im in your situation the best possible solution is advice your friend to go back here in our land and settle things out. its not napasubo, it is just because of shallow realization to every possibility that may happen in every action, theres nothing wrong being gay, homosexual or whatever humanistic term it was but the most important is you know who you are and how are you going to touch others life for whatever reason that you are living. set free of your guy and move forward he has his own obligation and so you does.

  4. Ed said on 11-02-2009

    yan ang hirap sa mga closeted. Kapag may nagawa, kung ano ano naiisip kahit masama para lang mapagtakpan itinatago. Palibhasa nasanay sa buhay na laging may tinatago, kaya hirap humarap sa responsibilidad.

  5. palenkera said on 08-11-2008

    Nagmamaganda ang lola nyo.. haha.. hitsura.

  6. sharp_nick said on 08-11-2008

    You’re one spineless fool. Tell the girl to get an abortion. And dump your guy and get somebody hotter and younger.

  7. victor/victoria! said on 06-11-2008

    Dear Ms/r.Cen, 
    U made me laugh! Napataas din ang kilay ko ha! I guess ur one of those ‘pathetic’ straight-acting gay guys kuno na i’ve met here in dubai who’s full of bigotry, conceit and hang-ups. Don’t worry…maraming ‘katulad’ mo di lang dito sa dubai kabayan! But sometimes, things are better kept into oneself or to a few…and that is what we called REFLECTION! And look wat happened! tinarayan ka rin ng mga sis natin sa entry mo  iha…. wala bang salamin sa kuarto mo! charing!

  8. jyixu said on 03-11-2008

    whether a pro-life or liberal, the question still brings in need to clear the point to be made: is it enough to make a solution that maybe would assure us to get away from the burden. oh my, give the unborn kid the chance to come out, even a chance that we could hear it from it’s first wail…

  9. carnage said on 02-11-2008

    1.  You already know the answer… and you know that the answer is a BIG NO! We, as Filipinos, no matter how liberated one gets, would still be pro-life. The fetus inside the girl’s womb did not do anything wrong. So, why cut out a life that hasn’t had any chance to be lived? In the end, repercussions will get you right at the a**. And in the future, the thought of having an innocent life aborted will haunt you…
    2. I don’t think you should meddle with that. If Richard doesn’t wanna tell the girl that he’s gay, then you shouldn’t. Richard should be the one to personally tell that to the girl in his own time. Like you, he’s straight-acting. So, what gives? How will it help solve the situation you guys are in now if you add more salt to the wound?
    3. Why should you distance yourself from Richard? Is it because you can’t stand the fact that he slept with a girl? Like what you said, he needs you and other people more during trying times. Ergo, if you really are friends, then show your support by being by your friend’s side. That’s what friends do – gay or straight.
    4. Nobody knows why this happened. A dick is a dick. A gay man still is capable of having sex with a girl and conceive a child.

  10. chanchan said on 02-11-2008

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO TO ABORTION… it is not the childs fault they decided to get horny and fucked each other… it’s a consequences they should face…  

  11. charuka said on 01-11-2008

    asus ang mga bolash talaga….very boring! maloka ka kung ikaw ang mabuntis!

  12. jake said on 01-11-2008

    I have a lot of friends na nasa dubai na dumanas ng ganyang problema, ang ginawa nung nagpakasal sila sa Christian Church near the saint marys church ni dubai, ang ibang babaei umuwi sa pinas. pls dont go for abortion! tularan nya di claudine sa Dubai, umuwi sa pinas ng mabuntis kasi yun ang best desition.

  13. my yellow shirt said on 01-11-2008

    grabe migs! This issue has blossomed.  Anyhoot, you do need a rest and you do need time to recharge. What with a big issue like this to see and wonder… why would people who claim to be straight about their sexuality would get into such trouble and think abortion is the key? I don’t have a right to another person’s body. All I have is influence and support. I think everybody has said whatever was needed to be said, except what I have to say. Being rejected or ostracized is one thing, and gays have got that to the gills, but this baby you’re not just rejecting it or ostracizing it, you’re killing it. How many straight and narrow men and women want to kill you, just for being gay?  How can you want to kill anybody is beyond me.

  14. gravetch! said on 31-10-2008

    gaga! ano siya ALIEN?
    may certain period ba magiging tao ang isang fetus?
    HOY! the moment na ma-fertilize yung egg tao na yun, GAGA!

    Tao ang gumawa, eh di natural, tao ang lalabas!

  15. gravetch! said on 31-10-2008

    Well, gusto ko lng i-point out ang gusto kong sabihin 🙂

  16. GayLibog said on 30-10-2008

    First thing: get the girl out of there. You two bring her home to the Philippines, whatever it costs. You know that it’s very dangerous for a pregnant, unmarried girl to stay there.

  17. matthew said on 30-10-2008

    OK ka lang Gravetch??? ang drama mo !! OA ka na hahahaha !! Peace !!

  18. Mr.Miller said on 30-10-2008

    Oo nga, may problema ka nga na maghanap ng friendship kasi ang dami mong mga alinlangan. Kailangang mag pretend, ng fall back. Feeling ko nga confident ka na naintindihan namin ang sulat mo. No ……inintindi namin and that, my dear…….requires precious time and effort, kasi nag pretend ka nanaman na inglesero ka. Kung di kayang mag english….acceptable naman ang taglish.  Your querries are:

    1. Were planning to abort the child before it’s too late, is it right?
    –  duh….. you are so fake naman to say that,  until now u don’t know what is right and what is wrong? You said pa,  you are not directly involve pero kasama ka sa planning stage. ano ba to????
    2. Not all knows that they are into relationships; they decided to hide it because they were tease by people here. They know Robert that is gay. The girlfriend is suspecting now that Richard is really gay and she asked me if it’s true. Do I tell her the truth?
    -Huh! ano?  of course not di ba you just allow richard to be in a relationship with her. So do not, in anyway tell her about you and richard kasi you were in hiding remeber. Naku….ang hirap nito ha…..mag intindi ng sinasabi at tinatanong mo,  lola.   Kasi you have the tendency to contadict your prior statements. Mahirap talaga gumawa ng kwento especially if its not true. Hay…. naku…sige lang i have the luxury of time. And to tell you frankly, enjoy ako, kasi it is very entertaining.
    3. Should I distance myself from Richard? He needs me more this time.
    Ikaw na nga nagsabi na,  he needs you especially your (financial, included….aminin!) support. Why would you attempt to distance yourself from him. Sino na mag choreograph ng buhay niya. Who will allow him to do this and that na.
    4. And lastly, why this happened? A straight lady deserves a straight man, quoted from your previous blogs. O suddenly you are so concern about what she deserves or not.
    -Di ba nga you allow him,  without any consideration in the first place to,  to be in a relationship and keep a macho image. Of couse she doesn’t deserve Richard in any way, because Richard is for you alone, you are now the architech of his life. Will he live if you let him alone?  O common, you should know better.
    PS. Write another letter pero this time ha, promise that you will inject a little thinking before posting it. Now i have to buy medicine to cure my headache. Ang tindi mo tsong….sa gulo ng kwento mo….baklang bakla ka nga and i wonder how you can keep a straight image.

  19. gravetch! said on 30-10-2008

    Excuse me! I’m not being brainwashed! Enlightened is the correct term!

    At pasalamat ka hindi ka ipina-abort ng magulang mo
    Eh kung ipina-abort ka? Mararanasan mo bang mabuhay?
    Isipin mo na lang ang mamimiss mo kung hindi ka binuhay ng ina mo!
    Ganun ang gagawin mo sa bata kung ipapa-abort mo!
    Itinatanggi mo ang karapatan ng batang mabuhay!

    Panahon na na tayong mga bakla ay gumawa ng pagbabago!
    Baguhin ang perception sa atin na immoral at salot sa lipunan
    Hindi [porket] homosexual ka, immoral ka na at kailangan ka ng i-outcast sa society
    Ipakita natin na hindi tayo ganun by supporting the Church all the way, na kaya rin nating maging chaste at holy!
    Hindi naman makikialam ang simbahan kung hindi kung hindi nadadamay ang human morality sa issue

    It’s time for us to make a stand! Tayo ay anak rin ng Diyos! We are his stewards and stewardesses!

  20. lord manila stone said on 29-10-2008

    tell richard or robert and the girl to take a sabbatical in the philippines until the girl gives birth, abortion should never be an option..kawawa ang bata….

  21. blue said on 29-10-2008

    To whoever wrote this story…you’re not suppose to have a problem. You’re not the pregnant one, you’re not the gay guy who had a relationship out of whatever, and certainly you are not involve in the situation when they’ve decided to consumate the relationship.

    The only question you should be asking yourself is: Do I love him enough to stay? or should I walk away and let him make the choice whether to be a man and hold himself responsible or be practical and f**k his values to get it over with?

    No further questions your honor.

  22. marvin said on 29-10-2008

    NO TO ABORTION PRO  LIFE IHA……just tell the girl to go home and keep the baby and for you keep your distance from that man. He doesn’t deserve your love and affection. Mabuhay!

  23. Tsinitoboy said on 29-10-2008

    Haaayyyy… Nauwi din sa abortion. Ewan ko ba, available naman kasi sa mga grocery (na parang walk-in sari-sari store) dito sa Dubai ang mga condoms, di pa makabili, “yani what to do”?. Siguro naman, by this time matututo na silang magpakaresponsable.

  24. Kit said on 29-10-2008

    sad naman… napanaginipan ko rin boyfriend ko na naka buntis… 🙁

  25. hello said on 29-10-2008

    another pointless entry.

  26. pacer150 said on 28-10-2008

    bakit hindi na-post yung response ko kay matthew..calif ka pala ‘tol..dalaw ka dito london..mangchicks tayo..dami eastern european sa mga clubs..long legged at ang dyoga panalo..hahahahaha..ano tropa na tayo officially??ayoko basketball tol, gusto ko tennis..gwapo ni papa feliciano lopez =)

  27. dxbnoypi said on 28-10-2008

    email mo ko…  we will talk about it…

  28. Jake said on 28-10-2008

    at masaya  ka pa? obviously dun sa part na nagpaAbort ang friend mo.. di mo man lang sya nabigyan ng enlightenment . oo naman nuh, its for your advantage naman.. kaya ka siguro hindi kumibo.  dont be foolish, di ka kumibo kasi may iniiexpect ka sa actions nya. kung tunay kang kaibigan, di mo sya hahayaan makakagawa ng ganung decisyon. atleast you tried diba? pero wala ka man lang nagawa,  what kind of friend are you?  your taking advantage on this. its too obvious. kawawa ang bata sa kaselfishness mo. you dont know what is right and wrong anymore, you will rot in hell when  you die.

  29. nocomments... said on 28-10-2008

    ang hahaba ng mga isinulat ninyo pero nasa kanila pa rin naman ang desisyon..ang desisyon??….wala…
    aborted pa rin ang labas ng bata. helpless unborn child..tsk tsk tsk..
    good luck ..

  30. pcer150 said on 28-10-2008

    ay bongga ka matthew..saan ka sa california? dito ako london..dalaw ka dito..dami babae sa bars mga eastern european..hahaba ng legs at ang boobs panalo hahahaha..pano opsiyal tropa ba tayo? =)

  31. MrCens said on 28-10-2008

    lubos po akong nagpapasalamat sa mga payo at puna…pasensya, di ko linya ang pagsusulat. migs, this experience gave me a greater view in life. di ko alam kung papano kita mapapasalamatan. hope to see you on my vacation sa april 2009.

    – naABORT po, desisyon ng magsyota. finances was the greatest factor considered.
    – i distanced myself to richard not to let him down but to make him more responsible sa gf nya.
    – trying to move on and accept reality, pano ba kumuha ng pink card sa LADLAD. at least un, concrete evidence na i am, hehehe… it will remind me all the time.

    sana mapasalamatan ko ng personal lahat ng mga nag-respond. hope i can get your email add (at least).

    World Peace!!!

    Dubai, UAE 

  32. Spanatic said on 28-10-2008

    How nonsensical naman ng kwentong ito.  Wala na bang mas makabuluhan at kapupulutan ng aral.  Buti na lang knock-out ang come-on pic ni Ryan Garalde – masturbation-worthy indeed kahit upper body pic pa lang.  Post more stripped to the barest pics of him please, Migz.

  33. matthew said on 28-10-2008

    wahaha Pacer150..uu..str8 acting ako tol…laro tau basketbol, gus2 mo?? hahaha
    kaso..wala ako sa Pinas, nsa California ako…hehehe

  34. gus said on 28-10-2008

    i agree with eyegames because he presented a more humanistic and realistic view of this situation. abortion should be an option for any woman facing a difficult decision of what to do with an unplanned pregnancy, especially within the first trimister. it is her human right. a lot of opinion hear against abortion are basically repeating the teaching of the church and not based on independent and informend thoughts. this is the same church, by the way that condems gays as sinful beings.

  35. gerry said on 28-10-2008

    problema niyo yan. hindi problema ng bata! don’t abort the child, if you have decency left in your hearts. at hwag ka na munang makisawsaw sa usapan nila. makinig ka lang sa sasabihin ng kaibigan mo. let them decide. feeling ko nagseselos ka rin eh. kawawang babae.

  36. pacer150 said on 28-10-2008

    yesss..kampi tayo matthew..staright acting ka rin ba? tropa tayo hehehehe..mang chicks tayo paguwi ko dyan =) joke

  37. pacer150 said on 28-10-2008

    ang haba ng sinulat nila. ang sakit sa ulo basahin lalo na kung galing ka pa sa trabaho. sang ayon ako kay matthew re: wikang ingles..kampi tayo bro..straight acting ka rin ba? tropa tayo hehehe…
    peace everyone!!!

  38. Matt16 said on 27-10-2008

    mahirap tlga yan….

    wag kasing masyadong mapusok nagfe-feeling teenager kasi eh… be matured enough nman… sabagay di niyo kelangan ng sermon ngayon. Kung ako sa inyo ito ang mga steps dyan…

    1. Were planning to abort the child before it’s too late, is it right?
    hmmm… siguro nga may karapatan ang bata na mabuhay cya… pero dahil nga nasa Dubai kayo at bawal dyan ang case na yan tulad ng sinabi ng iba.(1) Pauwiin niyo muna yung babae hanggang manganak dito sa pinas… (2.) hhmmm ayoko sabihin to…. ipa-abort niyo na muna…
    pero kung hanggang kaya niyo na buhayin yung bata in any way…. gawin niyo… masarap mgkaroon ng anak…


  39. dissappointed said on 27-10-2008

    Disappointed with the post. I understand the urgency for an advice pero hello, I think dapat kinonsider mo din yung reputation nung tao na PINANGALAN di ba? Im sure my reputation din yung tao na kelangan protektahan at pangalagaan. Now what? Meron na nga siyang problema of having that girl pregnant and now dinagdagan niyo pa ng isa pang problema yung tao by outing him ng wala sa lugar.

    I sometimes think na padalos dalos ka minsan sa pagpost ng mga bagay bagay without even thinking. Iresponsable. You recently made one and you realized the mistake and was able to correct it. I hope you would do the same thing again this time. At least censor the person involved.


  40. Sublime said on 27-10-2008

    1.) dont abort unless the safety and future of the woman is in danger which in this case is. to think the father is a closeted guy who doesnt have the balls to decide anything,doesnt make for a bright future. again, pinoy infantilism at its best
    and..may I add, default catholic moral attitudes on abortion as provided by brainwashed fools up here i.e. ‘It could be a future CEO, the new Einstein or Mozart or the one that can find a cure for cancer and AIDS!
    NO TO ABORTION! Yes to Life!’

    please! what bullshit reasoning…. that reasoning alone provides for inequality and discrimination..

    There are cases where abortion has to be considered.. its FREEDOM OF CHOICE ABOVE ANYTHING preached by the forever ignorant (but nevertheless enthusiastic) BIBLE POSSE.

    guys, do something productive with your life.. stop falling into the pitfall of religious comfort.

    Its so easy for you to say no to abortion without taking into account the gravity of it..its easy to say pro-life but when faced with the same situation, their d**ks shrink. typical.. enuff said.

    and MrCENS..

    i dont think its any of your business what they as a couple decide. it seems to me youre just his side-dish since he cant own up to your love. what a pathetic piece of man you got yourself.
    wait till they decide, you cant do anything anyhow except be the center of controversy which youll be if you follow this no to abortion lynch mob.
    Id sit back and relax.. dont start acting like a mom ,it already seems evident with his answer (“napasubo.”) that he acts like an adolescent. warning sign of unrequited love.

    2.) what the hell am i answering this for.. what a waste of space..

  41. eyegames said on 27-10-2008

    Or learn from this well-balanced article:

    The Abortion Debate

    Throughout history, induced abortions have been a source of considerable debate and controversy. An individual’s personal stance on the complex ethical, moral, and legal issues has a strong relationship with the given individual’s value system. A person’s position on abortion may be described as a combination of their personal beliefs on the morality of induced abortion and their beliefs on the ethical limit of the government’s legitimate authority.
    Abortion debates, especially pertaining to the legal ramifications of abortion laws, are often spearheaded by advocacy groups. These groups tend to fall into one of two camps, with people in favor of legal abortion describing themselves as pro-choice, while those against legal abortion call themselves pro-life. Both “pro-choice” and “pro-life” are loaded terms designed to make the opposition unappealing (anti-choice and anti-life). Individuals are also usually classified as either pro-choice or pro-life, thus reducing what may be complex views to slogans.
    In reality, both pro-choice and pro-life are too simplistic to encompass the full complexity of the debate. A person may be personally uncomfortable with, and morally opposed to, abortion (thus being pro-life) while believing the option of abortion should remain legal (thus being pro-choice as well). Furthermore, individuals often place different value on the lives of zygotes, embryos and fetuses at different points in gestation, putting different methods of abortion in different moral lights.
    Underlying this debate is another debate, over the proper role of the state: to what extent should a government be allowed to interfere with a woman’s reproduction? This is a major issue in a number of countries, such as India and China, which have tried to enforce types of birth control (including forced sterilization), and in the United States, which has historically limited access to birth control. A parallel question also runs through the debate over legalized abortion: to what extent is the right to life a basic human right that the state has an interest in protecting?
    The debate also touches upon such related (and themselves controversial) issues as contraception, feminism, gender roles, teen pregnancy, and sexual morality. Some opponents of abortion are social conservatives, and are motivated not only by concerns about embryonic life but also by unease with, and opposition to, the modern lifestyle choices that they see the procedure as facilitating. Other opponents of abortion, such as the progressive activist Nat Hentoff, see the protection of unborn life as an essential element in the campaign for universal human rights.
    The abortion debate has a prominent place in political campaigning in many countries. In the United States, the Democratic Party tends to campaign in support of the legal right to an abortion, while the Republican Party tends to campaign against legal abortion. These positions are often part of a more general “culture of life” stance regarding such related subjects as sex education, birth control, stem-cell research, euthanasia, and (though less uniformly) capital punishment.
    The debate is generally heated but nonviolent, though there have been a small number of cases where violence has been used.
    Significant issues
    Some of the most significant and common issues treated in the abortion debate are:

    The beginning of personhood (sometimes phrased ambiguously as “the beginning of life”): When is the embryo or fetus considered a person?
    Universal human rights: Is aborting a zygote, embryo, or fetus a violation of human rights? What about fetuses with genetic disabilities? On the other hand, is not allowing a woman to terminate her unwanted pregnancy a violation of the woman’s human rights?
    Circumstances of conception: How important are the circumstances of conception to the ultimate fate of the embryo or fetus? Does pregnancy induced by rape or incest, or by poor or non-existent birth control use change the permissibility of abortion?
    Alternatives to abortion: Is adoption a viable and fair alternative to abortion? Are there resources available to aid mothers who are unprepared for parenthood, but who may wish to keep their child?
    Limit of government authority: Are laws controlling abortion violations of privacy and/or other personal liberty rights?

    The central dilemma in the abortion debate is the clash of presumed and perceived rights. On one hand is the embryo or fetus’s presumed right to life, and on the other is a woman’s presumed right to control her body (though the debate over the issue has become so complex that each of these terms has itself been extensively debated). One aspect of the issue involves defining at what point an embryo or fetus qualifies as a person, and gains the legal and/or moral right to life. Even if that could be agreed upon, that right would still need to be weighed against the rights of the woman. Yet another debate is the use of fetal and embryonic remains, such as in stem cell research, the chickenpox vaccine, and even the treatment of patients with Alzheimer’s disease.
    There is also controversy over the rights of individuals other than the pregnant woman and the embryo or fetus. Debate focuses on whether a pregnant woman should have to notify and/or have the consent of others in the following distinct cases: a minor her parents; a legally married or common-law wife her husband; or a pregnant woman the biological father. In a 2003 Gallup poll in the United States, 72% of respondents were in favor of enforced spousal notification, with 26% opposed; of those polled, 79% of males and 67% of females responded in favor.
    There are a variety of positions regarding the timing of abortions. These include:

    Abortion should always be legal.
    Abortion up to the start of the third trimester should be legal; abortion in the third trimester (so-called late-term abortion) should generally be illegal.
    Abortion should be legal until the fetus is viable outside the womb.
    Abortion in the first trimester should be legal, but thereafter generally illegal.
    Abortion of an embryo should be legal, but abortion of a fetus should generally be illegal.
    Abortion should generally be illegal at all stages.
    Abortion should generally be illegal at all stages, and so should other forms of birth control and contraception.

    For each of these timing alternatives (except the first), there may be exceptions in some special circumstances—for example, when the woman’s long-term health or life is at stake, when the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, or when the infant has no long-term viability, or is likely to be born severely disabled.
    While both sides have sought to influence public opinion (pregnant women, doctors, lawmakers, voters) the main concern has been with influencing the law, and hence attaining legal support for their positions. Both have likewise drawn their rhetorical arguments from various domains, such as religion, philosophy, law morality and social pragmatism. Every aspect is controversial — the lethal nature and personal, social, and moral effects of the procedure are compared against the social burdens, and sometimes physiological dangers, of carrying the fetus to term.
    Many of the terms used in the debate are controversial and often seen as incomplete or dishonest. For example, the word “choice” glosses over which specific choice is being considered, and opponents sometimes argue that the usage of this term negates any consideration of the developing embryo or fetus. Likewise, the word “life” doesn’t specify what sort of life is being talked about, whether living cells or a living person. For pro-life activists, the implication is that the fetus is “alive” as a separate individual, and therefore deserving of culturally-determined personhood. Pro-choice activists, on the other hand, often disagree with the usage of the term because in such a context it does not take into consideration the life of the pregnant woman herself. Furthermore, the terms used by both sides to designate the embryo or fetus can cause heated debate: the clinical term “fetus” is seen by some as a dehumanization tactic, whereas the term “unborn baby” goes in the opposite direction, equating a fertilized cell with a newborn. Similarly others feel that calling a pregnant woman a “mother”, adds emotionalism to the debate.
    In the case of the murder of a pregnant woman, some U.S. states have passed laws which respect the status of fetal being as a living person — charging separate counts for woman and fetus. Note that there are people who agree that killing a woman who is known to be pregnant qualifies as a two counts of murder but also support the choice to abort. However, due to polarization, pro-choice advocates who might otherwise support these laws often feel the need to oppose them due to the precedent they create, which might then be turned against abortion rights.

  42. eyegames said on 27-10-2008

    A gestational embryo or fetus is not a human being YET and terminating it is not killing anything YET.
    I can’t believe how ignorant and Church-brainwashed a lot of you, guys, are and I suggest some reading on the subject.
    For starters:

    Those promoting a pro-choice position say that the government should not interfere with the woman’s decision, or should do so only under rare circumstances. She should be able to have an abortion in most or all cases. 

    Most pro-choicers base their stance on the belief that human life becomes a human person at some time after conception — perhaps when the embryo’s heart starts beating, or when the fetus first looks human, or it becomes sentient, or it has half emerged from its mother’s body, or is born, or is severed from its mother and is functioning independently. They feel that a woman should not be forced to go through a pregnancy and childbirth if she does not choose to do so. She should be allowed to have an abortion if it is done before her embryo or fetus attains personhood.

    You’ll find both PRO-LIFE and PRO-CHOICE reasonings here:

  43. La Cicciolina said on 27-10-2008

    Umpisa pa lang, nagkunwari na kayong tatlo! Pero ang ginawa nyo ay di kunwari.

  44. gravetch! said on 27-10-2008

    No to abortion! Save the life of the child!It could be a future CEO, the new Einstein or Mozart or the one that can find a cure for cancer and AIDS!NO TO ABORTION! Yes to Life!

  45. gravetch! said on 27-10-2008

    No to abortion! Save the life of the child!
    It could be a future CEO, the new Einstein or Mozart or the one that can find a cure for cancer and AIDS!
    NO TO ABORTION! Yes to Life!

  46. mia said on 27-10-2008


  47. mace_aces said on 27-10-2008

    dati, the only reason ng pag browse ko dito sa site was to see half-naked men. pero ngayon, nabasa ko ang letter mo, e2 lang po ang masasabi ko
    1. ang abortion hindi dapat na ginagawang option, pwede namang umuwi dito sa atin sa pilipinas ang kaibigan mong babae kasi hindi na rin naman sya makakapag trabaho ng mabuti jan lalo na pag halata na ang pagbubuntis nya, malalagay pa sa delikado ang buhay nilang dalawa.

    2. hindi po dapat sayo manggaling kung ano talaga ang kaibigan mung lalaki.  sa kanya po dapat manggaling yon. sya dapat ang magsabi saa kaibigan mung babae kung gay ba sya o hindi. 

    3. hindi mo po sya dapat layuan ngayon, mas kailangan ka nya. bagay na hindi ginawa dati sa kaibigan ko. and pingsisihan ko yun.

    4. nobody knows why that thing happened.  all we know now is your friend is having a baby in a foreign land, where few people could understand.

    so please, for the sake of the unborn baby, the mother, your friend and you. don’t abort the baby.

  48. black said on 27-10-2008

    NO TO ABORTION. Its immoral. In the eyes of men and God. I also have a friend there who also got pregnant before marriage. we got news that she really has to go back here in the philippines. pero di naman na nangyari. i dont know why. all i know nakalusot sila.

  49. kasper said on 27-10-2008

    no to abortion please!!!!

  50. Reza said on 27-10-2008

    alam mo let me be frank on this, to tell you the truth those who decides to go for abortion doesnt know what’s right and wrong anymore. think like a sane human being! if you intend to ask somebody to murder a human being, you are considered a murderer in the eyes of god and people. you will bring that guilt for the rest of your life, this is not a solution to your problem, act maturely before its too late! uggghh and take this : you need to see a psychiatrist for considering this as your option, this is considered to be a mental issue. go, its for you own good.

  51. matthew said on 27-10-2008

    Tungkol sa iyong dilemma, e2 ang msasabi ko:

    1.  ANg desisyon to “keep or not to keep” the baby ay wala sa iyo.  Maaari kng magbigay ng pananaw sa knila tungkol dito, but ultimately, ang babaeng nabuntis ang may final decision. 
    Naisip ko..baka kaya nagde decide silang ipa abort agad ang to be able to stay pa rin sa DUBAI, be able to work and earn a living.  MAraming madaling humusga, wag ipa abort, keep the baby, etc…PERO DAHIL SA HIRAP NG BUHAY NGAYON maaaring maraming kapamilya ng babae ang umaasa sa kanyang perang pinapadala.  Wala tayo sa katayuan nung girl..SYA ANG MAY KARAPATNG MAG DESISYON KUNG ANO ANG PARA SA KANYA. KUNG ANO ANG MAKAKATULONG SA KANYA.  Hindi garantisadong makakabalik sya sa work nya sa Dubai pag umalis sya agad.

    2.  HIndi importante sa ngayon akung ano ba tlaga ang kasarian ng kaibigan mo.  Hayaan mong sya ang magsabi sa GF nya kung ano ba sya.  Huwag pangunahan, sa intensyong iwanan sya ng GF nya pag nalaman ang katotohanan para mapa sa iyong buong buo ang kaibigan.  Just be a friend right now.

    Lastly, nais kong mag komento sa mga ibang Pinoy dito na akala mo sobrang husay sa pagsusulat sa Ingles.  Hindi basehan ng pagiging intelektwal at pagiging successful sa buhay ang kahusayan sa pagsulat at pagsalita ng wikang Ingles. Hinay hinay sa pagmamata ng kapwa.  Minsan minsan, sumasablay din kayo. Nanghihiram lang kayo ng wikang banyaga.

  52. milo said on 27-10-2008

    this letter sucks really. i think he needs some help to express his thoughts lucidly. anyway cheers to you and at least you got some love.

  53. sapphire said on 27-10-2008

    kung anu gusto nio, yun sundin nio, wag kau makinig sa mga influence ng mga tao dito….. madali kasi magsabi ng NO to abortion, kasi wala sila sa situation nung friends mo…… so kau mas nakakaalam……..
    okie….. 😀

  54. eyegames said on 27-10-2008

    I guess I ‘ll have to put in a contrarian view about ABORTION.

    It amazes me to no end how – excepting one – everybody’s urging that the girl keep the child and even to come home to have it delivered here. As if the Philippines is not already in surplus of unwanted children, children growing badly in an economical cruel environment without chances of bettering their lot, and who’d soon enough end up worse as adults drawn to take up whatever criminal means to survive.

    Look around you and go through the literature of lives in wherever location you are and tell me if this is just a cynical view.

    I find it therefore irresponsible for gay men – most of which are totally clueless to the intricacies of parenting  (rearing, feeding, clothing, schooling, etc.) to urge and support what they (wrongly) perceive as a moralist stance on the issue of abortion – so-called PRO-LIFE position.

    Well, LIFE IS NOT JUST BEING BORN. Without the opportunities to live a life of comfort and enjoyment, or at least the chances to attain these positions, then maybe IT’S BETTER NOT TO BE BORN.

    If one can not contribute to the greater good of the society that one is delivered to by birth or happenstance, then one should not be a part of it in any way. One should not be the one to undermine the very basis of that society by criminal or antisocial acts.

    Think of the likes of a Hitler, a serial killer, a rapist, a mugger or some politicians who shouldn’t be wielding the baton of power and you know what I’m driving at.

    But what gay men should mostly bear in mind in weighing in on the sticky issue of Abortion are the woman’s right to her body and her capacity to raise a child as a mother. Not being female, we are not in the position to know the scopes of what are involved here. In the case of that careless Dubai girl, we don’t know her physical make-up if she can withstand giving birth or, for that matter, her financial bacground, whether her sudden coming home would mean 1) losing her job contract 2) losing her means to support the family in the Philippines 3)burdening her parents with an additional  mouth to feed – and so on.

    As gay men, I think we should be symphatetic to other minority causes; this time the possible Feminist aspect of this story.

    I say: YES TO ABORTION if there is a need for it.

    As for the gay aspects, Robert/Richard will soon have to learn by experience, which is what most of us underwent to become what we are. Happily, most if not all gay men are the epitome of resilience. We’re not called GAY for nothing after all;D

  55. londoner said on 26-10-2008

    NO NO NO to ABORTION! World Peace!

  56. boombox said on 26-10-2008

    pwede mag tagalog ka na lang?

  57. chad_almighty said on 26-10-2008

    Nobody in his right mind would think of abortion.not in anyway.

    Since hindi ka kasama sa childmaking, kahit you care for them, wala ka ng paki alam. Decision nila yun and let them decide for themselves, afterall I assume, they are old enough to make decisions, the right one.

    The first thing to do is – pauuwin yung girl sa Pinas, we all know the consquences of unwanted pregnancy here in Dubai.

  58. chuck said on 26-10-2008

    NO to abortion!

    sumakit ulo ko sa kakabasa. nakakalito ka kuya!!!

  59. Tsinitoboy said on 26-10-2008

    Napansin ko lang, out the 32 comments posted here, wala pa ni isang nag-comment sa picture ni Ryan Garalde. This just proves that despite what some readers say that “they are just here to oggle the sexy pictures of half-naked men” still many had seem to disregard the picture and focus on the more sensitive matter (the letter, the situation of the letter sender & the rhetoric of the sender to the point of ookrayin na sya). And most of us are pro-life. I think this is good.
    Just my 2 cents.

  60. eponine said on 26-10-2008


    Why do you keep posting letters from readers with grammatical errors?  This is the nth blog entry I have read that has this “feature.”  I think you may ask your senders to give you the right to edit them before posting.  It’s such an eye-sore, giving me more headache than I already have now.

    1.  I say no to abortion.   Do not encourage them to abort the child.
    2.  It is his choice to tell his girlfriend of his sexuality. 

    These are all that I can say for now.

  61. jed said on 26-10-2008


  62. Ernest6 said on 26-10-2008

    oooppppsss, masosolve ang isang problema n’yo at the expense of an unborn child? That is not fair. May karapatan ang batang mabuhay at isa pa habang buhay kayong uusigin ng inyong konsensya pa ipinalaglag n’yo ang bata. Uwi na lamang ang girl kung ayaw makulong habang di pa halata. Kaya pag isipan ang consequence bago gawin ang isaang bagay na pagsisisihan, okay.

  63. rod said on 26-10-2008


  64. discriminatingassets said on 25-10-2008

    abortion is not a solution..its a crime!!!

  65. Lorenz said on 25-10-2008

    I think you really know right from wrong. And committing another mistake will only lead to failure. Abortion is definitely not an option. I am so sure they will figure it out what to do, and that does not involve you anymore. Richard’s sexuality is not the issue here, he should settle first his duty to his girlfriend. He should learn how to segregate each problem and try to find out what should be done first. First things first.

    If you are really meant for each other, I am really sure time will do the deed for the both of you. You need a space from him. Do not make the problem worsen. Your issue with him will be settled at the proper time and place.

    I know little about love and life, I am just a 21 year old boy. So go figure it out. You know better. I am just being a friend

  66. sdny said on 25-10-2008

    1.  abortion is a  woman’s choice, just her’s not yours or your boyfriend. leave that up to her to decide and if you have information that would help her decide then that’s up to you if you want to share.  she’s screwed either ways with the tough decision.  you think if she found out that her bf is gay, her decision would change? 
    2.  tell her he’s gay?  well that’s on you, maybe you could urge him to tell her nalang.  i would tell her.
    3. richard’s a douche-bag for having two relationships, i feel sorry for you.  needless to say we all deserve better than a two timing bi-sexually-confused man. 
    4. this could be a blessing, imagine you’ll have three parents to take care of a kid.  like a movie, its up to you three now, be honest, make wise decisions, think individually and as a whole.  but i think its his and her mess, it’s not a 3some afterall.


    its weird how some comments say to keep lying to her, yet they’re against abortion.  funny stuff.
    truth shall set us all free.

  67. douchebag said on 25-10-2008

    tagalugin mo kse

  68. MrCens said on 25-10-2008

    To all the readers, please forgive me for being judgmental re: “not sucking ugly men’s cocks”, was misused phrase (yumabang lang, but i’m not).
    I did a mistake on the names because I’m trying to hide the real name of my friend, but it is among the two.
    Anyway, i was so overwhelmed by the comments. Shukran!
    Dubai, UAE

  69. xoxo said on 25-10-2008

    Same like the others, NO TO ABORTION.

    there are many people out there who’d be willing to adopt the child — really! Just dont have him/her aborted.

  70. peppoi said on 25-10-2008

    There’s a reason why you had been informed of the situation…

    You’ll be forever be bugged by your conscience if you hadn’t help a child from being helplessly “executed” knowing you could have done something.

  71. jose said on 25-10-2008

    abortion is thew answer to all this.i you need a counselling.look into the situation why that many factors to look into to resolve the issue.well about your secret love affair you know yourself from the first place.You have to face your demons dont have to emphazie about what gays are doin this is the most stupid part you did to yourself.hahahaha.still your a gay and gay do what they love to do…(suck or get fuck).gays are supernatural for your you believe in love….hahahahaha.i believe in fucking you get the real satisfaction in and out…thats what youve got to  believe….your very funny…

  72. gus said on 25-10-2008

    1. you don’t get to decide as what to do with the fetus. it is not your child and he is not your huband. the mother and the father will have to decide that.
    2. don’t tell his girlfriend about him being gay. it is not your place and he will resent you for it. do incourage him to be honest with the girlfriend before things get even more complicted than it already is.
    3. be a friend to him if he needs you as a friend but you need to move on from this relationship. unless you are a sucker for heartaches and complications. honest, stable and positive relationship with someone else is waiting for you out there if you look for it.

  73. Little Fish said on 25-10-2008


    Stupid as stupid does!

  74. Tony said on 25-10-2008

    “We’re planning to abort the child before it’s too late.” – Understand, there is no ‘we’ here for you. It’s the girl’s and the father’s choice. The girl’s primarily because it is her body and her child.

    You don’t get to complicate or a choice in the matter. What is needed of you right now is that you be supportive of your friend what they decide to do.

  75. Pronghorn said on 25-10-2008

    Well said, Isarabi! 🙂 THUMBS UP.

  76. gossip girl said on 25-10-2008

    abort the baby and suffer a life in dismal guilt. go on with your relationship with this woman and spend the years to come in desolation. what is it that will make you complete? ponder about it. listen to it. do you have it? good. now believe in it.

    don’t make a choice. give yourself a reason. that’s what can save you.

    good luck.

  77. skitlles said on 25-10-2008

    ano ba second name ni robert ang richard! hahaha

  78. Benzgasm said on 25-10-2008

    ” we don’t suck cocks (for ugly men, hehehe..!) ” – all i can say is, ppfffttt!

    at nalito din ako sa richard at robert na yun! nosebleed ha!

  79. grethan said on 25-10-2008

    aba! problema nyo yan noh! nananahimik kami dito iistorbohin nyo kami sa kalokohan nyo. umiinit tuloy ulo ko. hay naku..

  80. Isaribi said on 25-10-2008

    1. Were planning to abort the child before it’s too late, is it right?
    – PLEASE DON’T! It’s not the unborn child’s fault. Why must he/she suffer?
    2. Not all knows that they are into relationships; they decided to hide it because they were tease by people here. They know Robert that is gay. The girlfriend is suspecting now that Richard is really gay and she asked me if it’s true. Do I tell her the truth?
    – It’s not your business. Wait until your friend is ready. Never drop hints too.
    3. Should I distance myself from Richard? He needs me more this time.
    – Friends don’t distance themselves from friends. Just be there until the need arises.
    4. And lastly, why this happened? A straight lady deserves a straight man, quoted from your previous blogs.
    – This is something that one should not question, its something that one should learn from. What’s done is done. Try to correct the mistake by doing the right thing.

  81. Dita said on 25-10-2008

    umuwi kayong tatlo dito sa Pinas at dito kayo maghasik ng lagim! kung jan kayo magkakalat, pugot lang mga ulo nyo and for what? dahil sa mga baluktot na patakaran jan?

    ang baluktot dapat tinutuwid. ang mali ginagawang tama. 

    no to abortion.

    as for you not sucking cock…YOU’RE MISSING A L0T PEKLAT!

  82. thedz said on 25-10-2008

    sus! nalito ako dun ahh… richard ba or robert???

  83. thedz said on 25-10-2008

    nalito ako dun ah….. richard or robert?

  84. Tsinitoboy said on 25-10-2008

    Bawal nga dito sa Dubai ang ganyang pagbubuntis. Mas mabuti pa ngang umuwi na lang sa pinas yung babae for the mean time tapos balik dito after manganak. Abortion? And they considered it pa as a first option. All of the parties involved are what we may presume as matured individuals (but the way they think/ act actually indicates not), they’ve got to be responsible na for their actions, hindi puro lang sarap tapos pag dumating na consequence ayun instant solution ang hanap. This is utterly pathetic. Advise ko sa tatlo (MrCens, Richard & the girl) punta kayo sa St. Mary’s, magsimba kayo at hingi ng advice kay Father Zacky (if you are Catholic, kahit hindi, pwede pa rin) at magconfess na rin.

  85. justkillme said on 25-10-2008

    How is this your decision??!!  its the girl’s..

    And why are you asking for Migs advice and getting the comments section all riled up (with judgemental anti abortion comments)?

    jeez louise.

  86. jj said on 25-10-2008

    no to abortion pls. 🙂

    stop pretending. and pls no judgement also.
    tama nga naman ang sinabi na, ” not everyone thinks you’re goodlooking”

    peace out brother!

    auh boy

  87. Lee said on 25-10-2008


    What the hell are you thinking? Why did you publish this crap? I mean really, I am sure you receive a lot of letters from your readers but I did not and still don’t see the logic why you wasted your time in thinking you can help this moron who in the first place is in Dubai to earn a living. But no, because he found an avenue to express his sexual preference he never had the chance to do back in the Philippines – he is now in deep shit that is obivously coming the minute he slept with the other pretender.
    How dare he bring the option of abortion when he knows that is not acceptable in the Philippines. Hello? Is he using his head? Oh of course not – he never did. The minute he thought he can get away with his chosen preference by acting straight when all he wanted to do is suck a penis!

    Don’t get me wrong Migs. I am enjoying reading your blog but publishing this letter in my point of view maybe is the lowest. Maybe this comment may not even be posted. All I ask of you, please don’t waste your space the next time he writes again. I tell you, he probably is whilst me writing this.

    Thank you Migs.

  88. maerten said on 25-10-2008

    both tops and both don’t suck dicks. wtf do you guys do? make out all night? boring… just move on

  89. pacer150 said on 25-10-2008

    Hi MrCerns,
    an unsolicited advise as that is what you are asking for. first, i wouldn’t be judgemental and i guess nobody should be, coz i know everybody is different. you have few issues here that you want to be answered. unahin muna natin yung “you do not suck cock of ugly men”..remember this: do not say others are ugly coz i am pretty sure that not everybody thinks that you are goodlooking.una, hindi ako gwapo pero mahal na mahal ako ng puti kong bf at he thinks that i am very good looking (oh laban ka) pero alam ko sa sarili ko that i am not..kay alisin mo sa utak mo ang pamimintas ng iba.
    sunod, hindi ka out at natatakot ka na hindi ka tanggapin..tsong, life is short, gawin mo kung saan ka masaya.bakit,kung hindi ka ba matanggap ng lipunan eh magiging tunay na lalaki ka?di ba hindi?di ba kahit pa isumpa ka ng kung sino sino eh lalaki pa rin hahanapin mo? pero eto tandaan mo, walang unang tatanggap sa yo kundi pamilya mo. gaya mo rin ako dati pero pinahirapan ko lang sarili ko and i came out in a horrible way kasi malaking pera nawala sa akin at binantaan pa buhay ko pero sino una nakaintindi sa akin??family ko at supportive sila kung saan ako masaya as long as i look after myself and i don’t forget to pray. sunod, yung abortion. a big NNNNNOOOOO..lumang kasbihan,wag nyong sulusyunan ang isang mali ng isa pang pagkakamali.the best thing is,umuwi ng pinas yung babae at manganak sa atin at for sure may family sya na tatanggap sa kanya.the baby or the fetus didn’t ask your friend to create her/him kaya bakit nyo papatayin mga walang puso wag kang selfish na you agree to have the baby aborted para lang maging sayo ulit yung lalaki o yung bading.he should be responsible at hindi komo bading sya eh hindi sya magiging responsible.swerte nga nya nagkaanak siya na pinapangarap ko till now. sunod, should you distance yourself from him?no,kung advise at support hanap niya at hindi mo iniisip pansarili mong kaligayahan pero yes kung gusto mo lang eh lagi mo syang kasama.sunod, why did this happen? una, selfishness ng kaibigan mo kasi alam niya na bading siya eh para maitago eh nambuntis ng babae.sunod,nabulag yung babae kasi duda na siya na bading yung kaibigan mo eh nagpabuntis pa.ultimate solution to all your problems??come out to your family and close friends and don’t forget to pray.if you want more of my advise,email me at i am sure i can help you coz i was in some of your situation before.take care. all the best. ma’sallamah

  90. archangel said on 25-10-2008

    i agree. totoo talaga na crime yan pag may nabuntis tapos walang mappaakita na wedding certificate. theyre not into pre marital sex kc.. pero ang kinalolokah ko lang, andami kaya mga pokpok doon. lantaran pah.. lalo na sa may deira at karama…hehehe hahay mga ipokrito tlga tong mga arabo na to. anyway, going back to the subject…….my answer is NO…no to abortion. kung ayaw nila mahuli or mahusgahan ng mga ibang tao dyan.. advice nlng the girl to go back to Philippines. and when kung ok na siya after sa panganganak, then she can still go back sa kanyang work.  and as to your relationship with him…. i weigh mo muna kung pareho ba kayo na nafi-feel sa isa’t isa… tama din naman na advise-an mo sya to become a responsible dad. i guess yun ang mabuting matutulong mo sa kanya…yun lang.. good luck!

  91. chino said on 25-10-2008

    no to abortion PLEASE.

  92. jhoots said on 25-10-2008

    no to abortion please!

  93. Rommel said on 25-10-2008

    Tell her to go home and deliver the baby in the Philippines then come back there. It is their stupidity, dont burden yourself.

  94. ricky said on 25-10-2008

    i may be liberal but i don’t condone what i consider murder. no, i absolutely think abortion should not be an option. i think the should just come back to the country and wait it out.

    anyway, that’s it for now. i kinda have a problem with your comment on cocksucking as something for ugly men. i respect your opinion but ihappen to know a lot of goodlooking guys, probably infinitely more goodlooking than you think you are, who suck cock and thoroughly enjoy it. what you think about cocksucking is total bullshit. but then, let’s just have that discussion some other time. 

    for now,  be practical. just don’t kill an unborn child.

  95. francis said on 25-10-2008

    whatever the decision is..please do not resort to abortion..

  96. douchebag said on 25-10-2008

    richard what? robert what? huh? hahaha. always good unedit(idiot)ed

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