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“Bakit ang daming mataray na bading?”
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I made a survey among friends with this question, “”Bakit ang daming mataray na bading?”
Interesting responses (and their screen names):
Defense mechanism yan, brought upon by years of repressed bad feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, etc. Isama pa ang mga panlalait at pambu-bully (yes, this is me channelling from personal experience. LOL) Tapos idagdag mo pa na overachieving ang mga bading, so pag may na-accomplish sarap ipamukha sa mga tao na “Hah! I can do it.” (from Bluebaby98)
Kasi if we analyze, erm, “gay culture” (not comfortable with the term haha), we find that gay sexuality is historically shaped na di lang maging imitation ng woman pero para maging uberwoman. Ang teyorya ko dyan e ang pinakaunang gay icons e yung mga prima donna. Sina Madonna, Cher, Bette Davis, yan mga makabagong icons na yan. Yung “mataray” siguro ay cultural na yan, yan ang tawag sa tin dun sa ganung uberwoman…thing. (from Jack)
Perception lang yan sa bading. Kasi generally being witty (and yes, generally ha! Not all!) and making witty remarks can sometimes be taken as mataray. And I guess, it is just so unusual for the male population to be so vocal and upfront about what one feels or what one thinks. Ergo, akala mataray. (from Pamintang Kalbo)
I think it’s a cover to hide insecurities that they are feeling or have felt… or they’re simply chanelling their inner Maricel Soriano? (from Petrelli Dish)
Kahit sino puwede maging mataray… lalaki man or babae… so feeling ko wlang excuse kahit bading ka.. nae-emphasize lang dahil bading tayo… Reaction lang naman yun sa kung ano ang pinapakita ng iba sa iyo. (from Carrie Paraleja)
People here in Manila are generally more “mataray” than folks in the provinces, regardless of gender. I also have gay friends in Davao, but I think they’re much more subtle, so to speak, than us metro gays. Does socio-cultural background factor in? (from Lady R)
Baka it’s their way of masking their insecurity, lack of (and sometimes too much) boyfriends, hahahaha. But i think, the same with other mataray friends i know (girls and boys alike), it is some sort of filtering mechanism to keep unwanteds away. Unwanteds == {orcs, people who might take advantage of them, nonsense people}. Usually kase people in the metro have a very wide circle of friends. Improved communication and social activities has not helped reduce in making this circle smaller. So parang everybody knows everybody, and you really have to choose who to mingle with, and sometimes ung pagiging mataray lang ung only way to filter the rest out. Pero i think when you are in the circle of friends of these “mataray” people, you wont feel the “taray” factor. You might even stand up to defend them and say they are just misunderstood and they are the most interesting/sweet/adorable people on this world. As for our not-so-mataray sisters in the province… baka kulang pa sila sa exposure, thus has no need to raise the “taray” shield. (from Berting Paloma)
How about you dear MGG reader? What do you think? Kanino kayo nakaka-identify among my friends above?
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Clarification of Statement on Homosexuality
“Desire Cannot Be the Foundation for the Law”
MEXICO CITY, JAN. 15, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Here is a translation of a press statement released today by Monsignor Carlos Simón Vazquez, subsecretary of the Pontifical Council for the Family.
* * *
Various interpretations have been made regarding the reference Cardinal Ennio Antonelli, president of the Pontifical Council for the Family, made in his words at the opening of the Theological- Pastoral Congress of Mexico. The cardinal wanted to underline three important aspects:
1. Homosexuality is not a necessary component of society, as is the family. Society is organized around the relationship of the couple that is formed by a man and a woman. They find each other in conjugal life and in family life. In this sense, the couple and the family enter into the sphere of social life, and because of this, of civil law. The relationship between two persons of the same sex is not the same as the relationship of a couple that is based on the sexual difference. These two situations depend on structures that are not of the same nature. The homosexual relationship does not enter into this social sphere. It is, as such, a private question. Legislators make an anthropological error when they want to socially organize homosexuality. They run the risk of provoking an intellectual confusion, as well as confusion of identity and relationships. It should not be forgotten that confusion frequently favors insecurity, unstable relationships and violence, when legislators don’t respect the fundamental sense of human relationships. The family is a common good of humanity that is not at the free disposition of legislators to respond to the subjective and problematic demands of today. The individual desire cannot be the foundation for the law. Here we find ourselves in the presence of a confusion between the law, which is of the public domain, and the desire, which is subjective.
2. Affirming that homosexuality is a private fact, the president of the Pontifical Council of the Family is not justifying it. The cardinal simply underlined that homosexuality does not contribute favorably to the organization of individuals and of society. The exercise of homosexuality does not reflect the truth of friendship. Friendship is inherent to the human condition in that it offers relationships of proximity, help and cooperation, in a courteous and amiable climate. Friendship should be lived chastely.
3. The Church maintains its preoccupation of welcoming and accompanying homosexual persons. Every person that has difficulties to live their sexuality properly is called to find Christ and to live, consequently, in accord with the demands of liberty and responsibility of faith, hope and charity. On the other hand, it is contrary to the truth of the human identity and the design of God to live a homosexual experience, a relationship of this type, and even more to attempt to demand same-sex marriage. It is contrary to the true interests of the persons and of the needs of society. It constitutes a transgression of the sense of love as God has revealed to us through the message of Christ, of which the Church is a servant, as an expression of love toward the men and women of our time.
Migs-din at Feb 25, 09 at 8:33 pm
hindi ka bading kung hindi ka mataray!
Little Fish at Feb 25, 09 at 8:36 pm
Stereotyping. Kaya lang naman nasasabi na maraming bading na mataray, kasi sila ang napapansin. Again, it’s just stereotyping. Next question, please.
Mikey_Liling at Feb 25, 09 at 8:57 pm
i dont think na gays are more mataray than the general public, mas pansinin lang at mas memorable tayo magtaray dahil we use more colorful language. Baka mas mabilis lang tayo magformulate ng katarayan so bago pa maisip ng iba, naitaray na natin so second the motion na lang sila.
pwede ring “camp” lalo na kung within the confines ng bitching session ng barkada. We feel safe to let loose of inner bitches and we try to outdo each other’s bitchiness in tongue-in-cheek competition.
At syempre meron ding nagtataray para magpapansin lang.good luck sa kanila.
arlo/ishna at Feb 25, 09 at 8:59 pm
natawa naman ako kay berting! wahahaha! mas agree ako kay jack and petrelli
Mark at Feb 25, 09 at 9:09 pm
Have to agree with the defense mechanism. It’s called compensation.
In fairness, I’ve never heard mataray na lalaki.
ming at Feb 25, 09 at 9:15 pm
oo karamihan nga?.pero being Straightforward is not bad!!!well tahimik yata ang mga bading ayaw magtaray!.hehehehe…tinamaaan Ba?
halooben at Feb 25, 09 at 9:53 pm
usually ang matataray pangit.. at pintasera pa.
Joe at Feb 25, 09 at 9:58 pm
noticed ang post dito? puro pintas sa mga models. kala mo naman magaganda. haha
Joe at Feb 25, 09 at 9:59 pm
ganun talaga siguro..hahahahahaha
ILoveAlec at Feb 25, 09 at 11:30 pm
Una: the word ‘mataray’ has many connotations. pwede siyang positive (mataray as in sharp and witty) or negative (mataray as in bitchy).
Personally, to say na ‘madaming bading na mataray’ is an overgeneralization. Hindi lang naman mga bading ang nagtataray… ganun din ang mga babae. Even straight guys have their own brand of being mataray (as in bitch = asshole) – it’s just that they do it with less flare.
hindi ko kayang i-pin down sa isang aspeto ng buhay ang sanhi ng pagtataray ng karamihan sa mga bading…
I can only speak for myself… (hehe). ako alam kong mataray ako at talagang nagtataray ako. dahil kaya ko. at kaya kong panindigan ang mga sinasabi ko.
Lumaki ako sa pligid ng matataray na tao, naranasan ko ang api-apihin dahil ‘kakaiba’ ako (read: bading) at sa maagang edad natutunan ko na kung di ako magsasalita para sa sarili ko e kakain-kainin ako ng ibang tao. at ang pagtataray ang naging paraan ko para ipakita sa iba na, oo, bading ako pero kaya kong lumaban (di ko man keri ang physical abuse, at least verbally liyamado na ako. haha!)
AmrothFaelivrin at Feb 25, 09 at 11:36 pm
i have to agree with Pamintang Kalbo and Lady-R, basahin nyo na lang, kakapagod magtype
luis at Feb 25, 09 at 11:39 pm
Nakaka-tense naman ito.
migs at Feb 25, 09 at 11:42 pm
bakit mataray ang bading? hmmm…
maya na… may work pa ako… hahahaha
magman at Feb 26, 09 at 12:23 am
Whew! Hindi pala ako bading!
Luolan at Feb 26, 09 at 1:58 am
^ This.
berserkerzcrit at Feb 26, 09 at 3:57 am
huh!? please say no more! ramen!
jimg29 at Feb 26, 09 at 5:10 am
je je, agree ako kay joe. pangit ang kadalasan nagtataray. sila kasi ang palaging pinipintasan. ang pangit na nagdadamit babae pa.
rodier at Feb 26, 09 at 6:16 am
kilay ko pakibaba! naihalo na sia sa buhok ko sa sobrang taas di na makita!TARAY!
butterflyrhai08 at Feb 26, 09 at 7:11 am
insecurity lng yn xempre kunwari ngkasalubong kayo tpos aakalain nung gay guy na un na mukha kang mataray mgtataray xa parang gnun lng un. hehehe db nanlalait pa nga tayo lolz
Lyndon at Feb 26, 09 at 8:37 am
Very well said, dahling! “Katarayan” has been one of ways of making other people feel that I’m someone who can’t be looked down upon.
Mimi at Feb 26, 09 at 9:16 am
We can’t blame other gays if they are matarays. We can’t say baka that’s their true personality. May mga tao kasi talaga na may pagkamasungit. Tsaka, di lang naman badings ang matataray. Anjan pa nga mga tita nating mga old maids na isang irap lang, takbo na tayo dahil nakakapangilabot.
But then, there’s no reason in this world na magtaray tayo. We have all this pleasures and luxuries in life. I-add mo pa jan ang mga jowa-jowa na isang text lang eh para ka ng inililipad sa kalawakan sa saya. Life is a gift ika nga.
Ang pagiging mataray naman ay sa isip lang natin. And in my own perception of mataray, i-control mo lang sya, wala na. Dyan na papasok ang coping mechanisms natin.
Magataray lang tayo pag di tayo masuklian ng tama sa jeep. O kaya, pag di ka binigyan ng allowance ng nanay mo.
Salamat sa tanong na to. Sana mabasa nila to. At ikaw din kung sino ka man.
Salamat kuya Migs!
jed at Feb 26, 09 at 2:27 pm
I absolutely agree with Carrie. Lahat tayo puwedeng maging mataray. What I don’t understand eh kung bakit nakadikit na parang lintang uhaw ang katarayan sa mga bading. Sobrang pag-label naman ang ginagawa nila sa atin. Pag bakla, mataray agad. Pag bakla, pedophile agad. Pag bakla, parlorista agad. Pag bakla, salot agad. Pag bakla, instant ATM agad. Hello, wala bang heterosexual male or female na mataray, pedophile, parlorista, salot at instant ATM?!!! Lagi na lang kami! Kami! Kami! Ginagawa niyo kaming instant poster child of every thing that is not so nice! Kayong mga lagi na lang ginagawang salarin ang mga kapatiran, huwag ninyo hayaang tuloy tuloy na kumitid ang utak ninyo at baka magulat na lang kayo one morning, mistulang space for rent na yang bao ng ulo niyo! Hindi naman ako galit, promise.
Alee at Feb 26, 09 at 8:23 pm
..naubos na ba mga letter senders na humihingi ng payo at iba pang kaekekan tapos maraming witty at interesting comments..yung iba pang ookray?..nagtatanong lang po hindi nagtataray..lol
pacer150 at Feb 26, 09 at 10:05 pm
i have to agree to some of the earlier responses about it being a self-defense mechanism so that they wouldnt get hurt and feel vulnerable in a society people are against them and misjudge them.
moschino at Feb 26, 09 at 11:06 pm
CONCLUSION: Cardinal Ennio Antonelli is straight.
Cris at Feb 26, 09 at 11:46 pm
Mataray…lang? I think we’re more than that
Cris at Feb 26, 09 at 11:48 pm
Is there a difference between a mataray and a maangas? Kasi I tend to be the latter especially when sleep escapes me the whole night.
Mugen at Feb 26, 09 at 11:51 pm
We are simply brilliant people…until we love ^_^
pao-pao bear at Feb 27, 09 at 12:13 am
i ditto bluebaby98. the society does have a huge impact to this as well. same goes with the family you grew up with.
herbs at Feb 27, 09 at 12:48 am
As far as I know most bading is not mataray or even effiminate.
Onotheo at Feb 27, 09 at 10:54 am
ok lang yan na maraming bading ang mataray, basta wag lang lahat. and i agree with LadyR. Gays in the provinces are more “likeable” in terms of ugali. Lalo na here sa mindanao. Gays are generally friendly and very approachable. Kaya nga ako, an original Manileño, is more at home here with friends in DAvao – my new home.
sorbetes at Feb 27, 09 at 12:50 pm
ok lang magtaray ang bading basta nasa tamang katwiran at lugar. Lahat naman ng tao ke bakla, tomboy, straight kapa nagtataray din, basta ang lagi nating tatandaan na dapat kapag nagtaray ay nasa tamang lugar. Kaya lang marami talagng bakla na mataray at grabe talbog ang babaeng palengkera kapag nagtaray ang bading, knowing pinaghalong lalake at binabae ang katawan kaya world war talaga kapag nagtaray. Sa palengke maraming bading pero laaht sila sweet at masarap kausap totoong tao sila at walang halong kaplastikan ang mga sinasabi nila. Kaya ako mahal ko ang mga bading na nagwowork sa palengke mga totoong tao sila at magaling magpatawa at di rin sila pikon.
dave at Feb 27, 09 at 3:51 pm
Di ko kinaya ang name ng huling respondent. Berting Paloma. Hehehe.
bentwood at Mar 3, 09 at 3:36 pm
haha! ako rin?
Isaribi at Mar 5, 09 at 1:35 pm
defense mechanism yon lang walang explanation basta yon nan yon
tobby at Mar 10, 09 at 6:58 am
To mask their vulnerability so they won’t be bullied.
John at Mar 11, 09 at 3:45 am
Korrect k dyan, Joe…yan ang napansin ko sa iba’t ibang thread dito sa site ni migs.. kung cno ang panget sobra ang defense mechanism!!!!!!mas lalo n sa m2m massage link ang mga nega cla ang wala naman naibubugang help sa ma mga kapwa, nangugulo pa!. Bakit kaya ganun, parati n lang may complain? D ba nila maintindihan ang tagline ni migs WOrLD PEACE?
contagious at Mar 11, 09 at 8:09 am
oo nga pansinin lang yung mga bading na magaling mang-okray… pero madami din naman mga mabait… yung mga shy-type… ahahahaha…
andrew at Mar 18, 09 at 11:55 pm
FORMULA: LALAKI- PALAAWAY
+ BABAE – BUNGANGER(TO THE 2ND POWER)
__________________
BAKLANG MATARAY
FORMULA: LALAKING- TAHIMIK (ASSUMING SILENCE MEANS RESERVED INTELLIGENCE)
BABAENG- BUNGANGERA (TO THE 2ND POWER)
___________________
BAKLANG MATALINO (GAYS WHO TALKS WITH SUBSTANCE)
FORMULA: LALAKI- PALAAWAY
BABAE- TAHIMIK (TO THE 2ND POWER)
__________________________________________
BAKLANG SERIOUS TYPE (YET SPEAKS HIS MIND)
BLUE at Mar 22, 09 at 9:35 am
no one has given an attention for miggs blog first under.
All i can say, homos give life to the society. i may say that the president of Pontifical council of the Family is some kindda stupid? for ignoring homosexuals?
amino_uae at Jun 17, 09 at 8:55 pm