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2456065971_abeb760907Hi Pre Migs!

Dumating na time ko to tell you about myself. I am happily married with one kid. I’ve been working abroad for more than 15 yrs na. Since pagkabata, I know myself na may pagka-berde ang dugo ko, pero since then I’ve kept it to myself, the other side of me. I have a very loving and understanding wife, ika nga, what more can I ask for?

Before I got married and even while married, I had relationships with the opposite and the same sex. Ganun siguro pag malayo kayo sa isa’t isa ng asawa mo. My wife kasi is also working outside the country, nasa US siya. Ako naman, nag-Saudi for 4 years, then went to Dubai where I worked for 10 years. Year 2005 when i went home to Pinas and decided na di na bumalik ng Dubai.

Noong nasa Pilipinas na ako, okay ang lahat kahit wala ang asawa ko (nasa US nga siya). Dahil doon, natuto ako na makipagtext with the same sex, and makipag-meet and, the usual, have sex. Going to massage parlors, gay bars and Fahrenheit ang naging hobby ko.

Early last year, I came to the point na gusto ko nang magpakamatay sa sobrang guilt ko dahil sa kasalanan ko kay God and to my wife. Parang di ko na kaya. Pero God was still there to help me. May of last year I got an email from a friend in Africa asking me if I want to work again pero sa Africa nga. Sabi ko sige para new environment and para matigil sa mga ginagawa kong mali dyan sa Pinas. Sa ngayon, nandito ako, solo sa Africa at nagta-trabaho. Pero honestly hinahanap-hanap ko ang mga boys dyan sa atin.

Till next time. World Peace!

Your Pre,
JAKE

* * *

When someone approaches you, a gay man, married with a wife and perhaps a kid or two, saying he feels guilty yet he clearly has a penchant for men, what do you do? What do you tell him?

Do you tell him: stop your philandering and be straight with your wife! That he should deny his real self coming out because he has committed himself to a woman?

Do you tell him: it’s okay, be yourself.That he has to prioritize who he really is, and that his marriage to a woman was in the first place a mistake he made out of foolish thoughts and assumptions?

Do you tell him: you’re a fuckin’ mess, you son of a bitch! This to a man who has enough self-hatred as to even consider suicide?

Do you tell him: hate the sin, not the sinner. This to someone who may not even be able to distinguish between the two? Because much as he tried for years to pluck out the sin from the sinner, even marrying a girl in the hopes that his being gay may just magically fade away, the sinner is still left sinful and, the sin not a tad faded but as clear, even more, as it has ever been before?

Tell me, dear friends in this blog, how do we deal with gay married men?

Comments (48)

  1. rugsy said on 02-03-2012

    Since i am also in the same boat with him (a married gay guy), just remember anne curtis line in “No Other Woman” You can kiss him, but dont you dare fall in love with him. When a you married a woman i think its your choice. when you flirted with a man,it’s also your choice. Funny, but for me nowadays, i treated guys only as sex objects, after the sex we go different ways. Ako balik sa pamilya ko. To compensate with whatever “guilt” i have done i give them more love beyond the money and pasalubong gestures. Basta for me my family comes first, the boys only a poor second or third priority.

  2. lawrenze jhay said on 29-06-2011

    im gay too my crush akong boy but nsa church kaming dalawa nakatira so very hirap ng situasion nmin kc c god ba o ung nararamdaman nmin para kong tanga kc i know na d pwd kaya nga magfifind nlang ako ng iba……..

  3. macariel said on 23-06-2009

    hi jake,

    Im glad that you open up your life on this page. I think you are not the only one on this situation. Many of us gays also want to have a family, a children of our own in fact, I have a lot of freinds dreamed to have to their own children and I have also a friend has two children yet their relatioship don’t last. His reason was, when he gets older someone would take care of him. You know what I told him is that I will never do that because I don’t wanna hurt others feeling and my children would condemned me for the rest of their lives. Well I guess that’s what you think before.

    Since you enter into this kind complication and you suffer the consequence that you have made. But as long as we lived and has the chance to correct mistakes, well why not do it now. What Im’ trying to say is that it’s not too late to tell your wife who you are and what you realy wanted. Jake, it’s all up to you if you want change life to a better one and who knows someday you will have peace of mind by doing so.

    Good Luck jake. May you have sangfroid.

  4. Jake said on 20-06-2009

    Hi Bro! Ive read your blog. Medyo nagustuhan ko yung laman since katokayo kita… Im Jake din btw.
    Anyway, Ive had an experience going out with a gay married man. nakwento niya na alam ng misis niya before pa sila magpakasal pero tanggap daw niya. I think ok naman sila although di rin daw niya mapigilan na somehow makipagrelasyon sa kapwa nya lalaki at yun nga I one of them na nakarelasyon. I must say na okey naman siya He’s in late 30’s Im only 21. Siguro out of curiosity Ive tried na pumatol but I must say na siyempre its bad basing it from our traditions. Honestly nagguilty rin ako sa nagawa ko dahil pumatol ako at dumating sa point na gustong kong imeet yung wife niya just to say sorry although di naman nalamn ng wife niya yung tungkol samin. Ive decided na lumayo at yun nga wala na kami ngayon. Naging sryoso sa sakin nun at I cant deny naman na nahulog din loob ko sa kanya. Siguro ka nung una na okey ako sa kanya kasi nga okey ang status niya sa buhay. Pero hindi naman ako namera I could say na may pinagaralan din ako…

    Bro i think di pa naman huli ang lahat. If i were you i’ll be honest with my wife at sasabihin ko lahat I guess its the best way para mawal yung guilty… di man lahat pero it will make you feel more comfortable with your family. Whateever you choose bro nasasayo nayan just focus on what you want at kung ano ang nasa puso mo pero dont forget to assess it also using your mind. regar-Jake

  5. Jake said on 20-06-2009

    Hi Bro! Ive read your blog. Medyo nagustuhan ko yung laman since katokayo kita… Im Jake din btw.
    Anyway, Ive had an experience going out with a gay married man. nakwento niya na alam ng misis niya before pa sila magpakasal pero tanggap daw niya. I think ok naman sila although di rin daw niya mapigilan na somehow makipagrelasyon sa kapwa nya lalaki at yun nga I one of them na nakarelasyon. I must say na okey naman siya He’s in late 30’s Im only 21. Siguro out of curiosity Ive tried na pumatol but I must say na siyempre its bad basing it from our traditions. Honestly nagguilty rin ako sa nagawa ko dahil pumatol ako at dumating sa point na gustong kong imeet yung wife niya just to say sorry although di naman nalamn ng wife niya yung tungkol samin. Ive decided na lumayo at yun nga wala na kami ngayon. Naging sryoso sa sakin nun at I cant deny naman na nahulog din loob ko sa kanya. Siguro ka nung una na okey ako sa kanya kasi nga okey ang status niya sa buhay. Pero hindi naman ako namera I could say na may pinagaralan din ako…

    Bro i think di pa naman huli ang lahat. If i were you i’ll be honest with my wife at sasabihin ko lahat I guess its the best way para mawal yung guilty… di man lahat pero it will make you feel more comfortable with your family. Whateever you choose bro nasasayo nayan just focus on what you want at kung ano ang nasa puso mo pero dont forget to assess it also using your mind. regar-Jake

  6. Kitchie said on 27-04-2009

    I am the wife of someone like you, jake… my husb came out to me coz nahuli ko sya thru txt, emails and found out that he’s seeing other men. it’s not the best situation to be in. i stayed with him. but til now, i don’t know why i am still with him. all that i know is i’m not ready to give him up, to give up on us. i don’t know if i can ever trust him again. but it’s a risk i have to take. it’s been two years since i found out about it. we’re still married, still together. but the pain, i don’t think it will ever go away. so think about it…place yourself in your wife’s position. and like what carl said, you wouldnt wish this to happen to your daughter, or to anyone you know…sa totoo lang, medyo galit na ko sa mga bakla ngayon. esp those who are in the closet. coz they end up messing up more than those who are in the open…

  7. Amir said on 20-04-2009

    hmmm..

    question… do you think she is doing fine at her end?

    meaning being alone in US for almost the rest of your marriage life…

    just a tought

  8. ladidader said on 17-04-2009

    I think it’s completely wrong what he’s doing. Kahit lalake pa yun o babae, mali pa rin magcheat sa pinakasalan mo, na binigyan mo na ng commitment. Either stop the cheating, or own up to your wife and deal with it. Sobrang hindi fair yan sa kanya.

  9. mark erik said on 19-03-2009

    isip ko lang…ilang percent kaya ng gays/bi’s ang talagang masaya sa buhay nila? 🙁

  10. carl said on 12-03-2009

    This story is so DAMN IRRITATING!!! First, you would start it with the intro that you’re “happily married with one kid”, then follow it up with, “even while married, I had relationships with the opposite and the same sex”, “Going to massage parlors, gay bars and Fahrenheit ang naging hobby ko”, “I came to the point na gusto ko nang magpakamatay sa sobrang guilt ko dahil sa kasalanan ko kay God and to my wife”, etc… I mean, how inconsistent and HYPOCRITICAL, does that sound like a happy marriage to you?

    Stories like this make me sick… In an age where being gay is supposed to be “acceptable”, and is considered “OK”, some guys will still come up with sick details on how they lead a dual life just to conceal their homosexuality!!! HOW PATHETIC!!!

    HINDI NAKAKAHIYA MAGING BAKLA, MAGING SINUNGALING AT DUWAG, OO!!!

  11. Jake said on 10-03-2009

    and as for you dark prisoner, please don’t take this thing as a curse. It’s a privelege, a gift. Imagine, derivation of pleasure from both sex, how lucky are we.

  12. Jake said on 10-03-2009

    to my katokayo,
    don’t let guilt live in yourself, you can do stuffs like those, but be responsible, safe sex ba, even straight married men do it and women too, cguro engaging to serious relationship out of your marriage lng medyo hindi okay para s’kin.

  13. clemence said on 10-03-2009

    i know of a very close family to us who’s husband is gay. married with 4 lovely kids. and guess what the husband is philandering or shall i say abusing the nephews of her wife.

  14. kamote-ako said on 09-03-2009

    Jake,
    You know what I don’t blame you kung ano man ang nararamdaman mo, kaso totoo ang hirap ng sitwasyon mo dahil may asawa at anak ka. Hirap ng sitwasyon mo tol kc talo ka kahit san mo tingnan iwanan mo man asawa mo o hindi masasaktan mo pa rin siya.

    Pero if the truth will set you free you decide and live with your actions.

    TC!
    kamote-ako

  15. summerson said on 08-03-2009

    Isa lang ang masasabi ko, mag-ingat ka aida! Nasa Africa ka ne!

  16. Isaribi said on 05-03-2009

    kawawa nga yung wife… sometimes, i sleep better when my conscience is free…

  17. darkprisoner said on 02-03-2009

    dear readers,

    I am into the same dilemma with the writer. I can no longer take this curse that had imprisoned and caused me alot of agony. I want to ask your prayers as I may no longer read your comments and advices. Farewell…

  18. carl said on 01-03-2009

    I simply don’t deal with them… I guess that’s the best thing to do, ignore them, I don’t offer them any advice or anything as most of them will try to justify their actions and try to make you feel that they’re better than you cause they were able to build a family despite their homosexuality. Some will even say that they’re still mostly heterosexual, that they love their family and they’re doing these just for fun, but who are they kidding? I don’t think they’re miserable cause they’re enjoying the shield they get from having a family, it’s their wife, their kids, and the stupid gays who fell for them who truly suffers… I’m sorry, but these men are selfish, the fact that they married out of security and not love is the biggest sign of their selfishness… All I can say to them is get some b*lls and a F*CK*NG conscience…

  19. pacer150 said on 01-03-2009

    uwi ako ng ‘pinas this last week of march..pwede bang magkaroon ng friends dito na pwede kong makatambayan while i’m there specially when i’m in manila? closet ako sa parents ko at sa friends dyan so i prefer the same..no offense meant sa mga ladlad..i know all of you understand this..thanks…please email me at str8actingbut@yahoo.com

  20. jonathan said on 01-03-2009

    love and marriage are a matter of choice. its more than libido nor psychological framework. whether you are gay or not, whether one is in a hetero or homosexual relationship, the ultimate call of love is to be true to one’s commitment. sexuality is more than the genital and phallic expression, its about one’s person.

    if a person knows he or she is homosexual in orientation, he or she understands the complications of entering into the commitments of marriage. that is why the invitation is for him to be true enough to one’s self and make the decision himself. gone are the days when one is pushed to marriage by what the family dictates. yes, their opinion matters but the decision to marry is yours.

    and if one chooses to marry, he or she brings him or her the promise to remain true. thus, he must try his best to move away from the occasion of infidelity whether its with another woman or another man.

  21. anthony said on 01-03-2009

    Out of topic ako.
    hahaha

    wow migs.
    kita mo naba yun bagong YES! magazine? yun andun si belo at hayden?
    hahaha… be proud migs. andun nakalagay site na ito kasi you got pictures of hayden.
    hahahah. fineature nila yun pictures na galing dito.
    hahaha

  22. morita said on 01-03-2009

    there’s nothing wrong with being a married gay. minsan nga nakakatawa pag may narinig tayo sa news na ang nagkatuluyan ay bakla at tomboy. pero sa tingin ko ang mali sa ginagawa mo ay hindi mo kaya panindigan ang pagiging asawa mo. how can you say that you are happily married kung hindi naman kayo nagkikita ng asawa mo? paano ka rin naman nakasiguro na happy siya lalo na pag nalaman niya na sa kapwa lalaki ka kumakabit? if you cannot be true to your marriage or to any intimate relationship then you cannot say that you are happy person. unless of course hindi totoo itong letter mo.

  23. mike said on 01-03-2009

    Whether we like it or not, we are ahead of our time. Acceptance without condition to PLUs like us will never materialize(d) in our lifetime, kaya some of us get married kasi yun ang standard. Yung mga trip magpakasingle habang-buhay, go on its your choice, tayo naman pag nagkaproblema because of our choice at least we should e manly enough to accept the consequences of our action. Sorry na lang sa atin but what if we are lucky? di tuloy ang ligaya.

  24. mike said on 01-03-2009

    Go on. Make sure lang na di ka magkakaSTD dahil kawawa ang asawa mo. Be a good provider to your wife and children. Love your wife the way you love her ng piliin mong magpakasal sa kanya. And reward yourself with what is really the desire of your heart in a VERY DISCREET manner. To hell with karma, we only live once and we don’t know naman talaga kung me heaven or hell kaya wag mo na pansinin ang mga detractors! inggit lang ang mga yan lalo na kung boylet material talaga ang conquest mo! hehehe.

  25. AmrothFaelivrin said on 28-02-2009

    I would tell him to simplify… Life is complicated enough as it is, so the added drama is really unnecessary.

    For me, the best way is to LOVE YOURSELF first. Accept that you’re gay, and then everything else will follow

    If you love yourself and you want to be happy, you know that the situation (being married and TRYING to lead a straight life) will NOT WORK and the best way is to get out of it: first tell your wife you’re gay (and please STOP fucking around while married) and go find a REAL and LOVING relationship.

    Hindi ako Mormon so I don;t believe in polygamy. It’s just WRONG to justify sleeping with men while married. It’s just FUCKED UP.

    I know, World peace dapat ang motto natin, right? Pero mga teh, paano magkakaroon ng world peace, in the first place, kung kukunsintihin natin ang mga baklang nanakit ng ibang tao?

  26. mark said on 28-02-2009

    When it comes to the situation regards to your personallity, Mahirap talaga its because your almost cheatting your self,. maging totoo k sana sa sarili mo,.. kawawa ang mga taong nasa likod ng pangalan mo and instead of focousing to work and family,. mas maganda pang be get closer to your wife work together with her at the same place so you can say that you got your own responsibilities to do with, kasi ganito un everytime n malayo ang mga taong sumusuporta sau feeling mo wala ka ng limitation at san nlng napupunta ung focus mo.., since urwife is in the u.s gt the first step para magksama kau if u realy dnt want to tell the truth,. hnd kna binata bro,.. when you get older after at least may family kang magaalaga sau,. instead of paying too much attention to the other person which you realy dnt knw.., hnd ko alam brokng bakt pero i know this must be the action you must to do.. i hope it will work.. masarap ang minamahal ng taong mas alam mo mamahalin ka after all.. god bless

  27. dave said on 28-02-2009

    alam mo pareng jake, ok lang manlalake minsan ang isang gay na married, pero ang gawin mong bisyo ay mukhang di na siguro maganda yun, dahil pagkakasala yun sa sinumpaan nyong mananatiling tapat sa isat isa. pero sabi mo nga nag abroad kang muli para malayo kana sa tukso, thats a good move pare, i really appreciate you for that kasi baka di kayanin ang asawa mo pag natuklasan nya ang pinaggagawa mo and worse kapwa mopa lalake pa ang karibal nya sa puso mo. ako nagwowork din dito sa abroad ngayon, before i left our country i broke up with my gf kasi i really feel guilty and sorry for her, biruin mo ba naman nakikipag laplapan at romansahan pala sya sa isang nagpapanggap na macho, tapos pag nalingat na sya humahada na pala ako sa kapwa ko lalake sa blue ave dati pero ng magsara nalipat ako ng Club Bath.

    Everytime na lumalabas kami ng gf ko nuon ay merong akong fear lagi na baka makita ako ng mga naka sex ko dati na friend pala ng friend ng gf or kamag anak o kaklase etc., isa pa guilt din kasi napaka sweet at faithful nya sa akin pero ano itong ginagawa ko sa kanya. Pero there was this incident na halos ikaloka ko ng husto, my x gf was a doctor at may college friend sya nuon na crush daw ng bayan na isa ng lawyer ngayon, isinama nya ako sa b-day party ng friend nya isang village sa pasig at halos panawan ako ng ulirat when i met his college friend dahil sya ang naka sex ko long time ago ng ako ay nasa law school pa lamang( diko pa gf ang x ko nuon). natakot at naginginig ang kamay ko nuon ng ipinakilala nya ako sa kanya, na feel ko rin na ganun din sya, he was also with her wife that time. Deadma ako sa kanya that time dahil talagang takot na takot ako at diko talaga sya tinitingnan kahit gwapo pa sya hahahahaha.

    A week after i recieved a call fron an unknwn caller, sya pala yun at nakuha daw nya number ko sa sa gf ko, he asked me if we can meet and i said yes, ng magkita na kami in one of the bars in makati, napagkasunduan namin na kung anuman ang namagitan sa amin nuon ay kalimutan na namin at sana ay mananatilig isang lihim to protect us both from our partners, ako sa gf ko at sya sa wife nya.

    Nag inuman kami that night and later siguro dala ng konting alak sa katawan namin, parang nademonyo kami, nangyari nga dina sana dapat mangyari pa. I feel guilty and that time kasi parang nasarapan ako na ewan ko ba parang biglang nalito ang puso ko dahil sa nangayari betwwen us dahil dina namin natupad ang kasunduan namin dahil we keep on doing it kapag nagkakaroon kami ng time, na ang buong akala nman ng gf ko at wife nya friends lang kami pero more than friends na pala kami. Nagising nalang ako isang umaga na dina tama ang ginagawa namin at kelangan ko ng putulin pa ang isang pagkakamali, i broke up with the lawyer friend of my gf, also i broke up with my gf dahil parang wala na akong ihaharap pa sa kanya sa tuwing lalabas kami, pano ba naman kasi sa tuwing lalabas nalang kami diko maiwasang matukso at makipag titigan sa iba lalo na pag semi-cal at matangkad na gwapo pa.(landi ko talaga hahahaah)

    Nung mag break kami ng gf sampal at kalmot ang inabot ko sa kanya dahil wala syang maisip na rason kung bakit ko sya hihiwalyan basta ang sinabi ko lang i need space because i cant tell her that we are of thesame feathers. its really difficult and thanks God dahil huling balita ko may bago naraw syang bf ngayon sa pinas.

    Advice ko pare hanggat kaya mong iwasan ang tukso o pumatol sa kapwa mo lalake gawin mo at magdasal ka lagi sa Panginoon for his guidance and enlightenement. Good Move ang ginawa mo pare na pumunta ka sa Africa.

    • pacer150 said on 01-03-2009

      hi dave..
      nakipagbreak din ako sa gf ko..kaya lang hindi ko sinabi sa kanya na “we are of the same feathers”..akala niya may bago akong gf..pero hindi naman niya naprove at wala rin siyang proof sa lalake kasi sa abroad ako naghahada…ngayon, out na ako sa bros and sis ko at friends ko dito abroad pero hindi diyan sa pinas..to jake, good luck kung anuman maging decision mo

  28. J said on 28-02-2009

    If the guilt is killing you, then be strong enough to (be the one) to tell your wife. God cannot do that for you. Mas masakit pag nalaman niya sa ibang tao (o mahuli ka pa sa akto). Kung di man niya malaman ang buong pagkatao mo (who does get to know the entirety of one person, anyway) o ang pinakamahahalagang bahagi ng pagkatao mo (again, relative) sa buong lifetime niya, then live with the guilt.

  29. rodier said on 28-02-2009

    be what you want to be. happiness is important.

  30. sidharta_franka said on 28-02-2009

    just great! you ruined the life of you wife and your kid with your lies!
    sige tuloy mo pa until your life goes beyond repair!

    sa mga bakla diyan, huwag na kayong magpakasal sa babae kung mangangaliwa din kayo sa ibang lalaki. maawa kayo sa magiging asawa niyo isang malaking panloloko ang ginagawa ninyo! ang lakas ng balik ng karama, for your info…

  31. Cris said on 27-02-2009

    Kuya, you have to choose which you want to do. Be faithful or live your life. Di puwedeng dalawa.

  32. maccallister said on 27-02-2009

    for me,he should stop this thing about guys!I mean he chose to marry his wife for god’s sake! kung isa,isa lang.di pwde sa dalawa! u hve to choose where you could be happy and be fair.I mean be faithful to only just one,if its with a woman,then dun sa kanya,if guy ang gusto then dun ka and tell the wife the truth.

    kung di kaya pwes magtiis ng landi at magpakalalaki ka!pinili mo yan mag asawa e hehehehe

  33. Jun-Jun said on 27-02-2009

    Do what you want and make sure wala kang naapakan na ibang tao o kaya nasasaktan para may world peace…and most important dapat masaya ka!

  34. JEREMi said on 27-02-2009

    alone time is a good decision, decisions always have consequences and don’t be afraid to hurt somebody because of the decisions you make, its normal and besides moving on is human nature anyway, pero once you made a decision yun na yon, don’t look back because it might just make you go back, God’s love is unconditional and he’s forgiving naman eh, if you have him in you there shouldn’t be a problem, its about relationship naman not religion eh. though being ourselves is they best way to be but its not always the easiest way, it takes a lot of courage but its worth it. do what you want, go for things that you think will make you happy because in the long run its you that’ll live your life not them. try listening to yourself first, yakang yaka yan! 🙂

    btw share ko lang, out of topic na to pero nagtalo kami ng mom ko tapos sabi nia “impyerno punta mo!” sabi ko naman “ok lang di mag iihaw ihaw nalang kami don!” LMAO.. pero joke joke joke lang yon ha! hehe.

    <3

  35. MELLICIOUS said on 27-02-2009

    just follow your heart

  36. sorbetes said on 27-02-2009

    i always tell friends when they ask me, “bakit di ka mag-asawa at magkaanak para may mag-alaga sa ‘yo sa pagtanda mo?”, ayokong manloko ng ibang tao. I don’t want to fool another person, a girl for that matter, just so to allay my fear of getting old alone. I am not saying that jake actually fooled her wife. But come to think of it, isn’t it grossly unfair to stay married while fooling around with the same sex, while your wife faithfully clings to her role as your married partner? i simply don’t get it. why don’t we, gays, bisexuals, etc.,(whatever term each one of us want to use about our sexuality),just go about our business of trying to make a comfortable life for each of us, and leave the opposite sex alone? please, let us not use them in our search for answers or solutions to our identity crisis, or use these hapless women as shields against pressures from our peers, family and friends (to get married or to have a girlfriend) in order to keep our darkest secret about our sexuality intact, or copulate with these ladies in order to have a child who will take care of ourselves when we grow old, or for any other reasons only we are privy about. ok, some of these women actually love gay men. but again we will go back to the issue of fairness. can we actually live with women who truly love us, and go about our usual philandering business while the poor “better halves” suffer in silence? please, please… our sexuality is in itself too complex to add another complexity – marrying a woman. so jake, sorry, but i only have disdain for your actions..

  37. ming said on 27-02-2009

    the easy part: be a good provider

    the hardest part: telling your family about the truth

    • pacer150 said on 01-03-2009

      ming ha, lgi kang may comment sa lahat ng entries dito..kina career mo ata..ikaw ha, gusto mong maging top sa mga commentators ng 2009..joke lang po pare….peace..friends tayo lahat dito..agree??

  38. sicklovepuppy said on 27-02-2009

    If he’s happy so what the hell? I mean social norms and morals lang naman ang pumipigil sa isang tao na gawin ang mga bagay na sa tingin ng madami ay mali.

  39. toybee said on 27-02-2009

    jake, it is time to face the truth. you have to come clean with yourself (accepting) and to your wife. there is no marriage if there is deceit involved. you have been lying to her for too long.
    it is good that you feel guilty, guilt is your conscience talking to you. i would suggest that you go see your priest or pastor and reconcile with your GOD. your relationship with your wife is a reflection of your relationship with your GOD.
    in the end, the truth will always come out, whether you like it or not. the truth always hurt. why wait till then?

  40. blue_in_doha said on 27-02-2009

    i was with a married man for 1yr and 6mos..during our time, sobrang saya nmin and eh never made me feel na 2nd choice lng ako..ako pa nga nag-pu-push skanya to do things for his family more kc kme mgksama 6days week, 5 days sa work and saturdays we would go out and have an overnight..never sya nkalimot sa family nya, he’s always there pg kailngan sya ng family nya..and never nalaman ng wife nya abt us..pro all good things has to come and end..but still in good terms prin kme..pro sabi nga..pg nakasanayan na..mahirap alisin sa sarili..im still single now..pero sya may new b.f. nanaman..that’s life…pro ive moved on na..wla plang ako mahanap na worht it..kya eto..work na lng abroad muna…hehe

    basta make sure lng u know who and what to prioritize…but if ur really nakokon-sensya na..then decide on which to choose or what to do…

  41. Tony said on 27-02-2009

    People make mistakes. People get married for all the wrong reasons. People get separated.
    What caught my attention was not his promiscuity and infidelity to the wife but his situation.
    (1) Even in this world of diaspora, 15+ years plus apart from your life partner (in this case, the wife), the term being “married” here is very loosely used. You guys haven’t stayed together under one roof for 15 odd years? The two of you obviously would be living very different lives now… sorry to judge, but that sounds like a marriage only in paper and not in the real spirit of marriage… Or let me put it this way…is there any real difference if you guys get separated from how you two are living your lives right now?
    (2) Thinking of suicide even if you have a kid???
    Man, you have a lot of issues to deal with and not a whole lot of courage to face them. Ask yourself this, what will make you happy and make you love yourself? What do you need to do to take away the guilt? I believe everyone knows what will make themselves happy and the answer is usually easy enough….its doing it that kicks balls.

  42. Mugen said on 27-02-2009

    I will deal him like a tropa. If there are ways to discourage him from entering a relationship with another guy for the sake of his wife and kids, I’d do it. If he proves too stubborn to listen to his better judgment, Then, I’d just let him have his own way. After all, who are we to control one’s emotions?

  43. lands said on 27-02-2009

    i guess, i’d want to ask why he married his wife now.
    Is it because he really loves her or is it just because he wants to cover up his feeling towards men?
    If you married your wife becuase you genuinely love her, then id hafto say, stick to your vows. You chose it, so you should stand by it.
    Philandering is still philandering even if it’s with a woman or another man.Its the same with a straight married man.
    So if you really love your wife, don’t go around boinking with any other woman or man you meet.
    🙂

  44. gelmark said on 27-02-2009

    Going to Africa is one good decision. If you are really guilty then you should put an end sa mga actions mo. Mahirap kasi talaga pag konsenxa mo ang kalaban mo. Focus on something, be it your work or your family para mawala na yung urge na gawin yung ginagawa mo noon.Peace!*wink*

  45. killersmile said on 27-02-2009

    sa married gay guy… as long as hindi magkaka STD, Hepa or Aids ang wife mo then I think wala ako magagawa kundi gawin IN MODERATION ang past time mo… Nakaka-awa lang talaga kung magkasakit at magsuffer ang asawa…

    So go have yourself checked up!

    And by the way, basta responsable at nabibigay ang needs & wants ng pamilya… okay na siguro yun… basta ang pagmamahal

    1-asawa
    2-anak
    3-jowa
    4-parents & siblings

    sa luho

    1-anak
    2-asawa
    3-jowa

    yan lang masasabi ko… bi guys di mo mapipigilan… mapapa-alalahanan lang!

  46. herbs said on 27-02-2009

    im an atheist kasi-so i dont really care about the ‘im going to hell’ bla bla everyone is going through.

    one thing i can only tell to Jake is that live your life the way you want it to be. go beyond borders. don’t care about what other people think cause in the end of the day, your happiness is whats important.

    People, don’t forget that we all only live in this world once. So lubus lubusin niyo nah! Whatever you want, do it! 😀

    Ang supportive mong lola,
    herbs

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