May
09

Mi-ni-mi-ni-may-ni-mow!

Gay Confusion, Love and Dating Entry Feed Trackback

Hello Migs,

Good day migs. Im a frequent visitor of MGG silently reading all of the posts that I can somehow relate but I never commented on any of them. This is the first time that i’ll be sharing my life with another person who i do not know. Well i think this is just a common scenario but somehow, i don’t know what to do…

Im a discreet Bi. Some of my closest friends know this. Im tall, dark, and somehow i think i have the looks. (^_^) anyway, during my college days (2nd year college) I met my best friend. We clicked maybe because he’s smart and fun to be with. One night, i need to sleep over at his dorm because of an event in our college.. well there is no extra bed of course so we decided that we sleep together in his bed. Then it happened, i sense that he is hugging me so ayun we kissed a little then we stopped (of course there are other people sleeping in the room, like 5 more i think). The day after we talked about what happened and we both accepted it. We became more close after that, but where just best friends doing ‘it’ because of the expirience. after a year i met a person that i treated as a brother but he thought that it was something else (because we where doing ‘it’ too). My best friend caught us kissing and he was so emotional to me, he was mad at me because he felt like i betrayed him… i admit it was my fault… but we’re just best friends right? anyway i left this ’so called brother of mine’ because he wants all my time be focused on him, which i can never do, (in short, Nasakal ako sa kanya) and maybe because i don’t want to hurt my best friend… months have passed, i feel like im becoming too familiar with my best friend that i think im already neglecting his care and i think his love for me… then the tables have turned my best friend became flirt and he had his first boyfriend… i was so furious at him that i wanted them to end their relationship! well it did end after a week because i didn’t stop being mad at them and because i think they were incompatible…. after sometime, i met a person who became a younger brother to me. (a real brother not like the first one) we became so close. super close i guess. then i introduced him to my bestfriend and they became close too, so close that they became boyfriends….. again i was so mad at my best friend, but this time i cannot stop their relationship… maybe because im so close to this younger brother of mine and that i cannot hurt him.. i became jealous at them cause both of them seem to have forgotten me…. they were so happy together… so one day i just decided to let go… (lumayo ako sa kanilang dalawa) but still we never cut our communication… but, being far from them was so hard that every night i cry… i didn’t just lost one but two closest persons in my heart…. then i met different people and became close to them, but i can’t forget my best friend thus the different relationships never worked out… then one day, i met my first official boyfriend (both of us are discreets)… we are so in love with each other…. but i still can’t forget my best friend, maybe because i really love him so much?…. then it happened my best friend and my youbro break up. now im confused…. i want to be back with my best friend, just like the old times, but i know he still loves my youbro and my youbro loves my best too but i dont want to lose my boyfriend too…. but i miss my best friends presense in my life… now im confuse on what to do…. i need an advice…

Thanks migs for the time, hope to see your response soon…

Santino

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35 Comments So Far

  1. Hi Santino,
    What a complex situation you’re in! Have you thought or considered a “three-some” of even a “four-some” relationship? My suggestion might not be so conventional but there are people like me who looks at relationships differently. As the definition of family has evolved so does the concept of relationships. Is it possible to share your life with two (or three) other people? I think it is. I am waiting for the others to respond. I have also been a silent observer in this blog and I appreciate the interesting interactions among the diverse followers of this blog. I would like to make a suggestion to Migs if he can create a sort of a “dating” blog where people can exchange ideas and find their mate. Really, kudos to the blog master for maintaining this forum. I am looking forward to reading future posts/responses.
    Best Regards,
    Curious

    Curious at May 9, 09 at 8:32 pm

  2. Ang landi mo Santino! Hindi ka makontento sa isa lang.

    David at May 9, 09 at 9:55 pm

  3. Confuse din ako…CHEERS

    hebe at May 9, 09 at 10:02 pm

  4. mgagalit c bro! hahaha

    patrick at May 9, 09 at 11:12 pm

  5. N.O.S.E. B.L.E.E.D. ANO RAW?

    RV65 at May 9, 09 at 11:16 pm

  6. Santino

    Your situation seems like a complicated one. But if you just analyze it carefully, you will realize it’s somewhat manageable. The problem is that you seem to associate being friend to being boyfriend. I mean, having a bestfriend or close friend does not mean you cannot have any other friend at the same time. You and your bestfrnd have bec0me so possessive with each other that you don’t allow others to enter into each others lives. That have become your mindset so that when somebody else entered into yours, you felt compelled to choose between your boyfriend and your former friends when apparently you dont have to. You can have friends and boyfriend at the same time. Thats all. Sorry its too long.

    jordan at May 9, 09 at 11:40 pm

  7. ahhmm,, may pagka selfish ka un ang problem mo..

    codeblue2187 at May 10, 09 at 12:37 am

  8. Oh Wow Nice complicated story, I like! So challenging parang summarized telenovela. Hey Santino, naks naman Santino pa pangalan mo tapos “bro” pa gamit mong seudo sa kanila at may “it” “it” pa kau ginagawa, buti hindi ka pa tinatamaan ng kidlat joke! Anyway…

    You have many options to do there, at kahit anong option ang piliin mo, ay may puso kang masasaktan, it’s either your official bf, si youbro at si bestfriend mo and more over, and puso mo na rin.

    Grabe ang dami mong maling ginawa! Tsk tsk tsk…

    1. Nag official boyfriend ka pero hindi naman official ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya dahil kita naman na attached ka parin sa best friend mo ewan ko kung dahil sa friendship mo or dahil sa love mo talaga sya. Kawawa naman official bf mo ginagawa mo lang syang panakip butas. Mali kasi magdate or magkaron ng bagong relationship kung may laman pa rin ang puso mo.

    2. Araw araw ka na palang pinaiyak ng best friend mo tapos gusto mo pang balikan yun, my gosh, saka may signs naman ba na babalikan ka ni bestfriend mo ngayong nakipag break na sya kay youbro? Past is past, anu ba, [wag na mag move on, hindi mo naman kaya] Move forward ka nalang!

    3. Sabi mo “i did it” meaning you we’re able to break their relationship? Paanu mo naatim na manira ng relasyon ng iba dahil sa galit mo, my gosh that’s difficult na, it’s a really evil thing to do pa, bad bad bad!

    Etong pang hingi mo ng tulong sa mgg eh i’m sure sobrang hirap na hirap ka na dyan tsk my gosh parusa malamang, haay. Nanghihingi ka ng advice pero parang tutulungan pa ang kontra bida ang dating neto anu ba yan. Anyway, advice:

    Focus on what you have NOW. Wag munang isali ang past, because past is past and that past is waay too complicated!
    Love your official boyfriend. Kung hindi mo sya mahal, edi mag break nalang kau, anu pang sense. Tapos move forward ka na.
    Kung meron mang dapat na mag occupy ng puso mo eh dadating at dadating sayo yun maging sino man sya..

    Take my advice or not pero yan ang gagawin ko if i we’re you. Good luck!

    Charles at May 10, 09 at 1:21 am

  9. what a mess :D heee. i think na-miss mo lang ung best friend at youbro mo. pwede namang magkasama ulit kayo ng bestfriends mo as friends, not friends with benefits. at alam mo naman palang may feelings pa sa isa’t isa ung dalawa eh, let them work things out. kapag umextra ka, baka magalit ang isa sa kanila sa iyo. be contented na sa boy friend mo. you can have friends but stop fooling around with them. committed ka na eh. imagine mo na sa iyo mangyari yan, would you like it? wag ka manira ng relationships! geez may pagka psychotic ka ata. focus on what you have now. and i agree dun sa nag sabi na may pagka selfish and possessive ka. from your story, those words best describe you. :D hope you make the right choice! peace :D

    laddie at May 10, 09 at 1:42 am

  10. Nakakatakot kang maging kaibigan. May problema ka ata sa utak. Talk to a therapist. Peace tayo hehehe

    ren at May 10, 09 at 1:48 am

  11. Your impulsive behavior is the main reason why straight people do not believe that gay people cannot have monogamous same-sex relationships.

    Have some decency and respect your boyfriend. Kung di mo kaya at confused ka, maging single ka muna and let those 3 boys in your life fight for your attention. Ayaw mo nun ikaw hinahabol? O d ka mabubuhay na walang nota sa bibig mo? hahahahahaha

    killersmile at May 10, 09 at 2:38 am

  12. hahaha wrong grammar pala ako! it should be gay people CAN have….. :)

    Oh well 2:40am… :)

    killersmile at May 10, 09 at 2:41 am

  13. Hi Santino,

    Just a few words: Honesty can lead to happiness and contentment. Deceipt always leaves one feeling empty and alone.

    Once you open yourself up and take risks then you can experience the happiness you have been longing for. One has to take risks at being outed, otherwise life in the closet can be so confining and constricting and does not really lead to a
    genuine loving relationship. No pain, no gain. No risk, no glory. Take it from me. I made the same mistakes you’re doing and many times over.

    Honesto at May 10, 09 at 8:09 am

  14. first of all.. ang dami mo ng nakafling. discreet ka ba tlga? lol! anyway. my advice is this, you really have to choose one, it’s either the new guy or your bestfriend. then see if it works and if it won’t I’m quite sure if the other one will wait, that is if his serious.

    SoupLado at May 10, 09 at 9:24 am

  15. ai naku..yan ang problema…gustu nyu lage tikman ang mga frends…tapos ayaw nyu mag comit…e alam nyu n pla may gustu kyu sa isat isa…tapos pag nkahanap sila ng iba…magseselos k naman…anu b un…

    kng mahal mu p un besfren mu…balikan mu…tapos seryosohin mu sha…pero kng mahal mu nmn un partner mo ngyn…edi stik wid him…den revive ur frendship wid ur bestfrend but ofcourse wid limitations…

    freak at May 10, 09 at 11:12 am

  16. to killersmile

    tumahimik ka na lang kase para di ka nagkakamali!

    to santino

    kumuha ka ng mainit na baga (yung nag-aapoy pa ha) tapos itapal mo sa keps mo! ang landi nito..baka sakaling matanggal ang kati mo.

    mahadera at May 10, 09 at 11:21 am

  17. That’s funny you’re using Brother to replace the word Partner and Boyfriend, I find it weird when you have to use those terms to make the story more masculine and all.

    Just choose one between them you cannot have both and never try having them both. Don’t be promiscuous if you don’t want your partner to do the same and also that would prevent the spread of AIDS.

    Brown at May 10, 09 at 1:09 pm

  18. e di mag orgy.

    world peace and harmony ang ending. =)

    taekopink at May 10, 09 at 1:15 pm

  19. to mahadera

    walang keps yang si santino hotdog & eggs lang kaya tumahimik ka na rin para di ka magkamali!

    killersmile at May 10, 09 at 1:19 pm

  20. yun nabasa ko na part na you met somebody at nag kiss kayo at nagalit best friend mo after that.

    reaction ko lang,
    ikaw may kasalanan..
    ang flirt kase. ayan.
    hahahaha

    anthony at May 10, 09 at 4:27 pm

  21. wag mo nmang sirain ang pangalan ni santino.

    such a drama queen.

    ming at May 10, 09 at 9:29 pm

  22. di ba pwedeng edit ng blog owner ang text for readability? very confusing and nakaka turn off basahin. It’s not just a matter of cutting and pasting “in toto,” dapat siguraduhing maintindihan din ng mga readers.

    e at May 11, 09 at 12:24 am

  23. one thing, u are selfish bro.
    pati ung bestfriend mong una.
    sna nagset kau ng limitations nyo noh..

    my mga cases na porke ngsex na kau eh filing nyo ung attachment nyo sa isa’t isa ay prang mgjowwa na..

    my pgkapareho ka ng ugali skin na naaalis na (thank god) at sna mrealize mo din..

    mkasarili ka. gusto mo lahat ng gusto mo masusunod. my knya2ng buhay ang bwat tao..

    s tingin mo best (true) friends tlga kayo pg gnyan.. hay naku, ngtikiman lng kau tpos my restrictions na..

    ampangit kase, reserba nyo lang ung isa’t isa.. kase nman, if gs2 nyo isa’t isa, y not try ung rel’nship dba.. pro hndi, pnili nyo mas open tpos nanggagalaiti kayo sa galit dhil my nalilink n iba..

    we must listen more. observe more. think more. feel more. to learn more. to fit in on watever situation we are into.

    ang haba, kainis. mag isip isip ha. un na.

    kyle at May 11, 09 at 12:33 am

  24. bow to charles sa taas, khit dko p nbbsa comment nya. i think he makes sense. \m/

    kyle at May 11, 09 at 12:35 am

  25. killersmile, second the motion ako dun sa first comment mo kay pareng santino. \m/

    kyle at May 11, 09 at 12:37 am

  26. boy you are so screwed…. and its all because of you…… you will end up hurting a person that you invited to be a part of your life just to hurt him… because you are selfish… i pitty your boyfriend, who probobly dont have any idea how confusing and screwed up you are…. call thing what they are… you are infatuated to your former bestfriend and cant seem to get over the sex so drop the bestfriend and make him a fuck buddy….. you have this vent up sexual urge to your psuedo young brom, bed him… but in the end… you are going to break somebodys heart here, you boyfriend…..

    advice…. know your self first, and establish what and who you really want before you go falling in love… that way you dont break hearts.

    ganda mo! world peace.

    *wink*

    big bag of pink at May 11, 09 at 12:41 am

  27. kasi naman, the problem is simple, if you’re having sex with your best frend, not once but countless times, e pakatotoo na kayo, its not just frendship! its more than that. and nung umpisa pa lang, nung nag-react sya ng magka-bro kuno ka, di sana nilinaw mo na sa kanya kung ano ba ang feelings nyo sa isa’t isa… I’m sorry, but in this life you can never have it all, at some point you would have to choose kung sino, at kung ano ang gusto mo and when you do dapat ka makuntento sa kung anong pinili mo. if its your ‘bestfriend’ then tell him your true feelings, tell him you love him and you want to have a real relationship with him, but if you’re confused, i suggest you get help, professional help, kasi i don’t think you’ve figured out what you really want… and one piece of advice, before doing anything, think first if your action will hurt the feelings of others, especially your bf now. wag lang sarili mo ang isipin mo… grow-up.

    carl at May 12, 09 at 1:17 am

  28. HAHAHA, THESIS BA ITO. ANG GULO GULO. HAHAHA.

    ANLANDI MO NMN KASI ATENG,.

    zac at May 12, 09 at 2:44 pm

  29. WORLD PEACE!!! Chos! Yun lang! Hahaha!

    Jun at May 13, 09 at 4:14 am

  30. hays… tagalogin nlng kaya? sumakit ulo ko sa kakabasa.weheheh

    john_joe at May 13, 09 at 8:27 am

  31. san ba nakukuha tong mga bestfriend na nagiging boyfriends??? bat lahat ng bestfriends ko straight?

    ituro nga ang daan teh

    mayjakol at May 14, 09 at 2:39 pm

  32. @mayjakol diretso, tas sa bandang dulo kaliwa ka lang
    teh, un nah, charoz lang teh!! =) haha peace!

    @santino, its just a matter of choice. its as if you’re taking up a “no erasure” exam in which you have to choose the best answer, but after choosing you have to face all the risk. which is to pass or to fail.
    well goodluck! hope you’ll get an A+. =)

    kicks at May 16, 09 at 6:58 pm

  33. To everyone who commented, thank you very much… all your comments were so helpful to me… thank you so much for making me realize that, i need to grow up… now i have realized what i must do… thank you migs for posting this coz i really learned a lot.

    santino at May 18, 09 at 8:23 pm

  34. same tayo situation..huhuhu;(

    kisses at Nov 6, 09 at 4:18 pm

  35. hehe.
    been through the same thing.
    well.. almost the same.
    brief sa\haring: im discreet gay/bi (im nt yet that sure, i’m only sixteen. hehe) and last year when i was in 4th yr. hs i had this best friend who i’m totally into. i was ’sweet’ to him not in a mushy way but in a brotherly way only sweeter. haha. what i just said made no sense. anyway, we were always together, seated next to him in class and nobody cared really of what we had between us. he was kinda sweet to me too letting me lean on him rest my head on his lap when we have a gropu circle thing sitting on the floor. (brief sharing daw ang dami nmng sinasabi. haha. can’t help it.) there, we were like brothers in a way. then the 3rd quarter of the school year came and we had to change our seating arrangement. i ended up at the back (i was one of the tallest kasi, currently 5′11″ i think) next to a couple in the class(and they were the popular kids. haha) and he stayed in front. i got close to the two guys seated beside me. the dudette was sweet and was really nice, we’ve known each other since 6th grade. she’s popular as i said and had a great sense of humor. the dude on the other hand was at first subdued because he didn’t know me that well. as the quarter went by we got closer. whenever the dudette was out on a school competition or something the two of us (me and the dude) are the only one left on that lasty row. so we got closer, he became my best friend and what not. nearing the end of the quarter things got bumpy between the two of them and i eneded up confiding to the dude. he needed help and i was the 1st one he could turn to. after that we spent even more time together. i eventually forgot my first best friend and fell in love with this dude. so and so happened and we ended up being together. i was so happy he was my first real boyfriend. (i had one over the phone. lol.) so one day i decided to patch up with my old best friend and introduced them to each other. they too became close and we became a trio. haha. the three hottest studs in class all together in one group. it didn’t last long though. im not gonna tell the story but what it led to was that i was the one left alone and them together. god, how i regretted ever letting them get to know each other. kahit di nila sabihin sakin i know that they are ‘together’. i even read saved messages on their phone(i was furious, i had to sleuth) saying things taht “kami ni philip friends lang tlga, wla lng un, kaw nmn tlga mhl ko eh.” i decided then i had to distance myself from them. i focused myself on other things and ended gaining titles in our scgool, winning contests like mr. prom, mr. senior and all that. my old best friend even earned more (maybe because he was inspired while i was only working hard on those contests to get my mind off the both of them). he graduated as the valedictorian of our batch and the school’s mr. alma-mater. my ex had his high reputation to be proud of too because of his great singing voice and his impeccable charisma. i wanted them both so much. here was the move i made that may help you. over the summer vacation i tried to heal all the wounds caused by that disastrous senior year and thought of things over and over and over. it made me realize that i don’t have to be in a relationship with either of them to sustain the loss that i felt. ALL I WANTED WAS FOR THEM TO BE A PART OF MY LIFE AND THAT WAS WHERE I CIRCLED MY DECISION, I HAD TO HAVE THEM BACK AS FRIENDS. and now we are friends. all three of us (they separated over the summer) and have each other’s back no matter what. un nga lang i think they never want to talk about what happened to the three of us and seems like they want to believe that it never happened while ako share ng share. hahahahahahaha. i guess because i think of it as a life-changing experience for the better development of me while they insist that it was a beautiful nightmare that needs to be forgotten and buried. aun. (brief daw. haha. sige)

    philip at Nov 9, 09 at 4:30 pm

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