Jun
14

Remembering Ria, MGG’s first woman letter sender

Gay Confusion, Issues, Letters, Love and Dating, Migs Speaks Entry Feed Trackback

Do you remember Ria? She is the very first woman MGG letter sender that I featured here in my blog. Her dilemma was about her husband who had a rich, gay lover. Her email to me was entitled “How can I compete with a rich gay man?” To refresh your memory, here’s her letter:

womanwrites

(For the full letter, click here.)

* * *

I thought of checking up on Ria, really curious about what has happened to her and her Ram. Here’s her letter to me.

Hi Migs,

I’m fine, and doing good, so far.

I’ve been trying to look for your blog and from what I saw months ago, if I remember it right, it was shut down. But now, with your message, I tried to look again and wow, you’re still on.

It was not a happily ever after. It was only early last year when I gave up on Ram and when I realized that he was never mine. And God knows how hard I prayed that he’ll choose me, but he didn’t. And worst, he didn’t make a choice. But I had to make one.

As for Ram and Andy, I do not know if they are still together. Ram’s in Dubai and I do not know if Andy still follows him there. Andy would do everything to stay and be with Ram.

Ram still emails me and we talk but I have never asked him about his personal relationships nor Andy.

I’m sorry but if I managed to find you last year, out of my anger and despair, I could have written you a letter lashing out selfish gay men. But I have accepted what happened and moved on. (Buti na lang kung hindi baka hate mail naipadala ko sa iyo. Hihi!)

I just hoped that my story would somehow enlighten some of your readers, who happens to be in my situation, whether straight or gay – that a third wheel in a relationship never works. And for some guys who happen to have married boyfriends, please think of the wife and her children. What you don’t know won’t hurt you – it is true up to some point, but when it comes out, it hurts a lot.

Btw, I wish I could write all the things that happened two years ago. But when I’m ready, I will.

Cheers,
Ria

PS: I’m dating a high school teacher now. He is not as handsome as Ram, (talagang may comparison eh noh? but he’s still single at 35, any chances that he’s gay? Haha!

* * *

Dear Ria,

The most important thing is that you “have accepted what happened and
moved on.” I think you really have — you’re dating na nga! Hehehe!

I wouldn’t say the guy you’re dating is gay — I think you have enough
experience to judge him for yourself.

I wish you the best of luck Ria. You deserve a good life.

All the best,
Migs

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19 Comments So Far

  1. time to move on….go ria.life is short that all of us must enjoy!

    me at Jun 15, 09 at 12:16 am

  2. so sad and yet errr. gawd. naiinis ako dun sa mayamang baklita na yan-its not all about the money, honey.
    irita rin ako RIA, parang ewan. kakalerki

    goodnight MG ;-)

    herbs at Jun 15, 09 at 12:28 am

  3. first time kong mag comment d2… nakaka relate ako sa story eh.. anyway… 3rd party din ang sumira sa family ko, buti hindi ko nakita that leech kundi bahala na hospital sa kanya…
    migs nice format of the site. all white ah.. parang may nangyari sayo na hindi ko malaman…heheh just keep it up. tc.

    unnamed at Jun 15, 09 at 1:07 am

  4. nice layout muna. hahaha
    ako una nag comment?

    oo natandaan ko sya..
    shame it end at “that” way.

    pero ganun talaga yun buhay isnt it?

    anthony at Jun 15, 09 at 2:37 am

  5. OT muna..

    maganda yun layout… pero i prefer pa rin yun layout before mo sinirado itong blog… more on profeesional-personal looking yun kasi… its easily be acess na din. :D

    anthony at Jun 15, 09 at 2:42 am

  6. ano ba, pagduduhan na lang ang lahat!

    ming at Jun 15, 09 at 5:16 am

  7. uyyyy… may penpal si migs. kinikilig ako.. hihihihihihihi!!

    marcus at Jun 15, 09 at 6:25 am

  8. Hi Migs,

    Thank you Migs for this update about Ria. I remember. weeks ago I asked Migs what are the latest happenings to Ria and Ram. Coz I was really touched by her story.

    Thank you so much. But I feel so sad that it’s not a happily ever after. I was somehow hurt to what happened to the couple. But life must go on…

    Any second chance for the two? I am hoping so…

    bluerider at Jun 15, 09 at 9:05 am

  9. ram… ram… ano bang meron sa name na ‘yan…tsk.tsk…hmmm..

    for ria: watch mo etong movie nato.[i just happen to find it at up shopping center when i'm looking for bridges at madison county]. suit siya sa situation mo. ‘yun nga lang foreign film, i.e. russian at korean but may subtitles naman. hope you like it:

    you i love[ russian film]; and

    desire.

    enjoy!

    ram…silent stranger

    ram at Jun 15, 09 at 8:30 pm

  10. I think there are some women who are attracted to gay men or at least effeminate ones. I’ve known 2 so Ria may also be like them. If she can show her new lover’s pic, maybe we can get an idea if he’s gay or not.

    The good thing is that Ria has ended her relationship with Ram and has moved on. I wish her the best.

    Nick at Jun 15, 09 at 9:21 pm

  11. If you know Ram and Ria, you must be reading MGG! :) Migs, thanks for the update. Ria, may you find happiness soon. I’m all out for you. :)

    Leo at Jun 16, 09 at 1:07 am

  12. i hope you would still find happiness in your heart ria, and yes…cheer up…dami pa atang isda sa karagatan nuhh??>..

    mellicious at Jun 16, 09 at 6:08 am

  13. god bless you ria…^_^

    jb at Jun 17, 09 at 2:36 pm

  14. this is one of the most beautiful things here in MGG that really makes this site unique from the rest…

    gravtech! at Jun 17, 09 at 9:59 pm

  15. This is such a heartwarming story, never mind that it didn’t end the way she wanted it to. It was good that she found the strength to make a decision, and I commend her for that. This makes her a better and wiser person, no?

    Jack at Jun 18, 09 at 8:25 pm

  16. your story so far ang pinakamagandang nabasa ko sa mga blog sa internet kasi nga nakakarelate ako sa sitwasyon mo nagkaroon na rin ako ng lover before na married, bago ko sya naging boyfriend may on goin’ relationship na sya sa girl pero ok lang sa akin un kasi pareho naman kami na nasa middle east somehow nagawa ko rin ung ginagawa ni andy kay ram suportado ko talaga ang lahat ng pangangailangan nya until nagpakasal na sya sa girlfriend nya at first ok lang sa akin kung may asawa na sya pero later on parang tinatamaan na ako ng konsensya ko ayoko pala ng may niloloko at nilalamangan ako kaya after 3 1/2years i decided to end my relationship sa boyfriend ko but we still remain as friends. never na rin nalaman ng wife nya ung tungkol sa amin it’s better that way baka kasi mawala ung respect sa kanya nagkikita pa rin kami paminsan minsan pero hangang duon na lang never na rin kami nag sex

    barang at Jun 18, 09 at 11:17 pm

  17. Oh, Ria, I feel for you girl. You did a really brave thing. I read the first letter you sent to Migs and right then and there, you’ve earned my sympathy (proof that not all gays would root for their kind). I still believe that love should never be selfish. It is so sad that Andy had to be so. He should perhaps learn that if you really love someone then you should also learn how to give without asking for anything in return and know when to hold on and when to let go. If I were in his place, I would’ve given up Ram so he could be with you and your kids (Precisely why I don’t dig straight men too. Geez kumukonti na nga ang mga tunay na lalaki makikipag-agawan pa ba ako sa mga girls when I could get a cute gay guy for myself naman, di ba? ;P). But you, my dear, are a real woman in every essence of the word: Steadfast, Resilient, Nurturing, Loving. You have your kids and your new guy. Best of luck to you. Mwahmwah. :)

    helios at Jun 19, 09 at 1:05 am

  18. 35 and single? YUP! Faggalatte’…=)

    peppoi at Jun 25, 09 at 12:34 am

  19. you’ve made the right decision ria, your such a brave woman.. You’v done it not just for yourself but for your daughters as well..

    God Bless always…

    bRi at Jul 23, 09 at 3:43 pm

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