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Ang Huling Tulang Iaalay Sa Kanya
Entry Feed TrackbackPeople use rituals to help them in their transitions. Endings, in particular, are celebrated in many ways. For some people, when they end relationships, they clean out things given to them by their separated other half. Some would return, some give away, and others burn. For me, it is this. This is my ritual – recording a favorite Neruda poem, translated in Filipino, to formally end my chapter with Marco. This marks the end, but also a new beginning.
Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalulungkot na tula ngayong gabi
ni Pablo Neruda (Salin ni Jose Lacaba)
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalulungkot na tula ngayong gabi.
Maisusulat, halimbawa: “Ang gabi’y mabituin,
at nanginginig, asul, ang mga tala sa dako pa roon.”
Umiikot sa langit ang hangin ng gabi, umaawit.
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalulungkot na tula ngayong gabi.
Siya’y inibig ko, at kung minsan ako’y inibig din niya.
Sa mga gabing tulad nito, niyakap ko siyang mahigpit
at hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.
Ako’y inibig niya, kung minsan siya’y inibig ko rin.
Paanong hindi iibigin ang mga mata niyang malamlam?
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalulungkot na tula ngayong gabi.
Isipin lang: Hindi ko siya kapiling. Nawala siya sa akin.
Dinggin ang gabing malawak, mas malawak pagkat wala siya.
At ang tula’y pumapatak sa diwa, parang hamog sa parang.
Ano ngayon kung di siya mapangalagaan ng aking pag-ibig?
Ang gabi’y mabituin, at siya’y hindi ko kapiling.
Iyon lamang. Sa malayo, may umaawit. Sa malayo.
Diwa ko’y hindi mapalagay sa kanyang pagkawala.
Anyong lalapit ang paningin kong naghahanap sa kanya.
Puso’y naghahanap sa kanya, at siya’y hindi kapiling.
Ito ang dating gabing nagpaputi sa mga dating punongkahoy.
Tayo, na nagmula sa panahong iyon, ay di na tulad ng dati.
Hindi ko na siya iniibig, oo, pero inibig ko siyang lubos.
Tinig ko’y humalik sa hangin para dumampi sa kanyang pandinig.
Sa iba. Siya’y sa iba na. Tulad ng mga dati kong halik.
Tinig, maningning na katawan. Mga matang walang-hanggan.
Hindi ko na siya iniibig, oo, pero baka iniibig ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, at napakabata ng paglimot.
Pagkat sa mga gabing tulad nito’y yakap ko siyang mahigpit,
diwa ko’y di mapalagay sa kanyang pagkawala.
Ito marahil ang huling hapding ipadarama niya sa akin,
at ito na marahil ang huling tulang iaalay ko sa kanya.
Listen: (2 min 37 sec)
Download this recording (right click and save) – 2.4 MB
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kung maaari ay maisulat mo rin sana ang orihinal na tula sa ingles.
ming at Jun 28, 09 at 4:21 pm
i love him, and ’sometimes’ he loved me too. . .
there’s d rub! the ’sometimes’. sporadic love. hmm. .love it..
but dis may be d end of d love story, am sure: u still have d feeling of walt whitman’s ‘i saw in louisiana an oak tree growing’. . .spread love!
ram at Jun 28, 09 at 5:41 pm
Goodluck in starting over. Hugs.
Tristan Tan at Jun 28, 09 at 9:32 pm
…paanong hindi iibigin ang mga mata niyang malamlam?
yup, definitely…baklang-bakla!
jimg29 at Jun 28, 09 at 11:54 pm
love you migs
maniac at Jun 29, 09 at 12:52 am
awww… when i was at your situation months ago, i even wrote a song….
keeiko at Jun 29, 09 at 1:01 am
Migs,
How do you let go of someone who has been a significant part of your life? After making a mind-boggling decision to end a relationship of almost 15 years (yes guys…that long!), one does not forget but one moves on. However moving on is tough as I am I learning and is a dynamic process. How do you get over it? Maybe you don’t…
Curious
Curious at Jun 29, 09 at 12:51 pm
pota..ang lungkot..
specially the last stanza..:)
i can feel migs voice shaking…as if he wanted to cry…:)
“Time heals all wounds”"People come and Go” anu pa ba..hmf..”aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo?” lol…
chammy at Jun 29, 09 at 1:17 pm
when me and my ex broke up, I got so depressed, I did things, like write letters and emails to my self, listen to all our songs over and over, and cry every night till its morning again, needless to say, I lost so much sleep, tears, sweat, and weight, over someone, whom I now recall simply as my ex… but one day, I just woke up, and realized that everything’s back to normal again, I don’t cry no more, I don’t feel sad no more… and the funny thing is, looking back at the things I’ve done, the rituals, the healing, the coping with depression, made me think how stupid I was, for wasting so much time, energy and opportunity, over someone who doesn’t deserve anything… I guess, its really a phase we have to go through in the process of letting go… and like in everything, that too shall pass…
carl at Jun 29, 09 at 1:22 pm
last week, just broke up with my 3 years bf, long distance relationship. grabe 3 years na pala akong niloloko..at ako mismo ang nakatuklas!…my last text to him…”maraming salamat at naging bahagi sya ng buhay ko, inabuso niya ang kahinaan ko, pero okey lang at least nagmahal ko..”" ay naku sa totoo lang sakit talaga, di nga ako makapag concentrate sa work ngayon..pero i need to move on!
enric at Jun 29, 09 at 4:56 pm
Migz, i feel your pain, loneliness, sadness, anger, regrets but most of all I feel the sense of coming to terms with your loss. letting go of a person that you feel is the person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with is definitely not easy. though it maybe painful, these types of emotions are what makes us humans. experience the pain, appreciate it and then just allow yourself to move on. slowly, in phases and in few paces, eventually you could look back at all of these things and smile. i did it and definitely so can you. you’re in my prayers.
vinceroy at Jun 29, 09 at 7:03 pm
ginoo,
narito ang mga isinulat ko sa pader ng aking kuwarto bilang pagtatapos sa pitong taong likhang-isip kong naratibo. nais kong ibahagi. ritwal ng pagtatapos, pamamaalam.
tutula ako
sapagkat ito na ang pinaka-malapit
sa pagpapaliguy-ligoy
para sabihing mahal ki naaalala kita.
hinahanap ka na ng aking mga punda.
-huling piga
ng pandamdam
——–
hina(ha)nap ko ang mga kataga
upang maisalarawan ang huli mong mga alaala
itatak sa balat, pandamdam
ang natitira mong gunita.
(rosas
hindi bulaklak ng sampaguita ang
amoy ng iyong damit (pawis)
kundi bareta, fabric conditioner ng
kapitbahay mong laundry shop.
(dr. wong’s naman pag malansa ka na) haha
hindi na si donald duck ang sukat ng iyong mga labi
marka
kundi ang natuyong bakat ng iyong bibig
sa gilid ng baso (natuyong langis/ arnibal.
di ko na iinuman)
hindi mo na kamukha si zanjoe;
kamukha mo na ang paglisan.
hahanapin ko pang muli, sakaling magkatagpi-tagpi
ang pakahulugan ng salitang buo, ako at wala ka na.
sa langit, lupa, impiyerno na pinag-uuurong ko,
sa bawat mga larawang suso at estatwang bato.
at marahil sa (marami pang) paghahanap ng mga kataga
sa bawat sulok ng bilog
sa bawat hangganan ng karagatan,
mapagtatanto ko na
na ikaw ang gabi,
ako na ang umaga.
malapit na.
hunyo. maulan.
full text at tutula ako
sapagkat ito na ang pinaka-malapit
sa pagpapaliguy-ligoy
para sabihing mahal ki naaalala kita.
hinahanap ka na ng aking mga punda.
-huling piga
ng pandamdam
——–
hina(ha)nap ko ang mga kataga
upang maisalarawan ang huli mong mga alaala
itatak sa balat, pandamdam
ang natitira mong gunita.
(rosas
hindi bulaklak ng sampaguita ang
amoy ng iyong damit (pawis)
kundi bareta, fabric conditioner ng
kapitbahay mong laundry shop.
(dr. wong’s naman pag malansa ka na) haha
hindi na si donald duck ang sukat ng iyong mga labi
marka
kundi ang natuyong bakat ng iyong bibig
sa gilid ng baso (natuyong langis/ arnibal.
di ko na iinuman)
hindi mo na kamukha si zanjoe;
kamukha mo na ang paglisan.
hahanapin ko pang muli, sakaling magkatagpi-tagpi
ang pakahulugan ng salitang buo, ako at wala ka na.
sa langit, lupa, impiyerno na pinag-uuurong ko,
sa bawat mga larawang suso at estatwang bato.
at marahil sa (marami pang) paghahanap ng mga kataga
sa bawat sulok ng bilog
sa bawat hangganan ng karagatan,
mapagtatanto ko na
na ikaw ang gabi,
ako na ang umaga.
malapit na.
hunyo. maulan.
Khalil at Jun 29, 09 at 7:44 pm
..wow the poem does sound awesome..
it is very meaningful, i have never been in love, bakit? kc masakit ang masaktan
JEN at Jun 29, 09 at 8:56 pm
hai… ako din migs,ala na linis uli ang letcheng puso ko dahil nagkamali na naman ako akala ko sya na kaso wala padin , makailang beses na ako nagka ganito pero heto di sumusuko buhay padin pinag palit ang family dahil sa pag ibig akalay yun na pucha…! saklap 3 beses akong nagkaganito hay as usaual balik sa pagka single come what may nalang ang drama netitch…!
zibra daberz at Jun 29, 09 at 9:01 pm
Pablo Neruda is the man!
Blake at Jun 29, 09 at 9:37 pm
i have always loved this. thanks migs. =)
jeub at Jun 29, 09 at 9:53 pm
This poem was part of our readings way back in college. And since then, it has become one of my faves. I like virgilio almario’s version better, though:
“Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.” sapul na sapul
Aliping binabahay at Jun 29, 09 at 11:33 pm
Waiting for the new fabcast. Hope u can feature the closet badets once more and an interview with mojo jojo perhaps?
Bibe Gandanghari at Jun 30, 09 at 1:56 am
ako, nagpost ako ng goodbye blog. emo kung emo pero umayos ang pakiramdam ko after.
richard at Jun 30, 09 at 2:18 pm
eto pala ung “dear s” (goodbye blog ko), hehe
http://rbjaravata.multiply.com/journal/item/325/325
richard at Jun 30, 09 at 2:30 pm
i would like to invite our dearest readers/folloers & bloggers to read and give some comments on my blogs just recently done because pf my admiration to manilagayguy and mandaya moore.
visit https://ororo-amino.blogspot.com/
codename: amino at Jun 30, 09 at 3:52 pm
ang taray ng tula ha!
maari bang magpost dito ang tula tulad ng sa kanya
ako marahil ang taong pinakamasaya kung mauunlakan
byebye
ruili at Jun 30, 09 at 8:27 pm
akoy isang makata…..paki email na lang sa mga gusto ng mga latha ko!…’iniibig ako ni erik pero mahal ko si apollo ngunit nawala na si erik naglaho na din si apollo”mga halimbawa ng aking tunay na kasaysayang tula!…
william joel lim cruz at Jul 1, 09 at 6:53 am
hindi ba dapat, “napakaikli ng pag-ibig, at napakahaba ng paglimot”? as in “loving is short, forgetting so long”? napakabata? yun ang ginamit na word?
gab at Jul 1, 09 at 12:39 pm
very abstract…
ito pala ang correct site ng blog ko…
http://ororo-amino.blogspot.com/
codename: amino at Jul 1, 09 at 6:21 pm
im a newcomer to this site. and since the first time i visited, i became very interested. kept me typing the address in the URL tab over and over again. i love the way you write. unconventional and very engaging. galing.
sorry yun ang napapansin ko, yung writing mo. as to the phase you are in now, just always remember love has come your way. mg focus sa mga magagandang memories. don’t just move on, Rise Above.
gian at Jul 2, 09 at 12:47 pm
i love this poem~ i heard it back in highschool.. r literature teach played it.. it was read by some artist.. i have his compilations.. yeah.. this poem helps.
this is the sort of reply to the poem..
if you forget me.
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
bazny wang at Jul 2, 09 at 1:29 pm
funny coz i had been thinking of this poem just this afternoon and when i decided to visit mgg, it’s here right at my face. i recall my ex writing this poem in his friendster blog a few weeks after we broke up. that was over 5 years ago. but i did not remember this poem because of him … i always loved neruda’s works.
helios at Jul 3, 09 at 12:12 am
pain.. pain.. pain.. huwaaaaaa!!!!!
joshua gonzaga at Jul 3, 09 at 10:49 am
Next time, offer poetry to the one you want to keep, not to the one you’re breaking up with. Hehe, I’m harsh, but he might be reading your post and that will feed him nothing but pride. So cheer up, Miggs!
Cris at Jul 3, 09 at 10:54 pm
migs, move on. ako naka-move na. it feels good when you end it all and let go.
allen at Jul 4, 09 at 12:54 am
may i know who translated this poem? is it puedo iscibir of pablo neruda?
jett at Jul 5, 09 at 4:27 pm
@ jett: yes, it is a translation of pablo neruda’s “puedo escribir”. and as stated up there, it was translated by filipino poet, jose lacaba.
helios at Jul 11, 09 at 3:10 pm
i think the spanish version is Puedo Escribir; exerpts hereunder:
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Escribir, por ejemplo: ‘La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.’
excel828 at Jul 15, 09 at 8:42 pm
migs…hirap mag move on noh…?
lalo na pag part na xa ng daily routine mo…hehehe
parang gamit mo na xa…
hirap isiping wala ka nang damit…hehehe
just047 at Jul 28, 09 at 11:11 pm
huhuhuhu..
It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
rod at Aug 13, 09 at 1:06 am
i love d poem..
sobrang nk2relate..i even cried while listening to it.
lala p nman ngaun n broken hearted aq…
it’s so happy to be in luv…but be ready to be sad when it ended….
mike at Sep 6, 09 at 1:19 am