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hi migs. i’ve read one of your posts…and the comments regarding bi married man having relationship with other man. i myself is married with 2 kids and is now in a relationship with an 18 yr old guy with a lot of gf’s… this is my first relationship with another man after 12 yrs of marriage..i am his first. It isnt easy for both of us…we argue a lot… because we dont know how to handle this kind of relationship. There are lots of risk for both of us. i dont want to destroy my family and jeopardize the future of my kids. and he doesn’t want to break his 5-yr relationship with one of his gf. But more than anything we are really best of friends and we don’t want to break the bond between us… we have separated a lot of times but we keep on coming back to save the relationship… sometimes i make the first move most of the time he would say sorry and try to win me back… ron

* * *

hi ron. friendship is a wonderful, wonderful thing. but if it really stands in the way of a beautiful family life, of honor, of dignity, of loyalty, i wouldn’t think twice smashing it into pieces. on the other hand, if you feel keeping that relationship with your 18-year-old will make you a better person, then go ahead, yet it is not an excuse to continue the deceit, the flimflam with your family. your family can, in the long run, be better off without a philandering father. in short, a choice has to be made here.

a lot of times we use the excuse of confusion when we do not want to make a decision. you know what to do, even if you’re confused. it’s a matter of making a decision, and being the honorable person (that you can still be) to stand by it. i pray for your fortitude. be well.

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Comments (45)

  1. Ynetten said on 30-11-2011

    It is true you will only know differences, advantages and disadvantages, the bad or the good things, and ultimately what will make you a totally difference person in the end, when you were there yourself.Ron’s story borders not in not knowing himself but more because he is a human being endowed with the ability to love, whether a man of a woman. It is a gifet to be able to love both sexes at the same time. But again, there has to be a loser and a winner. That will come later on. As Migs underscored, this is the best thing that happened with this blog, you can open up, enjoy the coments, and on the other dand, bear the consequences. Some of which are not empathetic as one would wish or to a greater extendt be criticized to high heavens just because of the ability given us to love. be discreet however at all times so that yo will not end up the loser. And once a loser, learn from the experience and move on a better man!

  2. Jyan said on 22-08-2011

    dear mgg,

    i hope that you will look at this as an outlet for my deeply suppressed emotions. i just hit the big 30 last year. i was 27 when i met ‘the one’. he was 33.

    at that time i was back in the country as part of my life plan to build up a portfolio for my now seemingly fading away passion in writing. along that line, i also ended up gathering a lot of scene experiences of the pink kind. the sex, drugs, and alcohol part of it. i had whirlwind relationships and i had broken ones too. i met several groups people and friends from different walks of life. it was the ultimate experience for me being born and raised in the province.

    my stay here however ended up being a life-changing experience altogether. though i didn’t intend to stay in the philippines, here i am. making a living and loving the man i’m making it with. he’s a husband. and he’s also a father. and from the beginning he told me that this is all he can give. and that he will never give up his family for this relationship. though i didn’t ask him to.

    in the first two years of our relationship we’ve undergone a major overhaul in both our lives. friends were limited. certain places were restricted. and i got a dual citizenship so i could stay here for as long as i want. writing was out of this new plan. my family accepted. and i left new york to be here with him. i can say that at the moment i met him, i was ready to settle down. it’s important to know that i didn’t find out that he was married with kids after i got my dual citizenship. i was hopelessly in love. hopelessly.

    when i found out, i just took it like any part of him. yes, i met the kids. yes, i met the wife. we’ve gone out of the country several times. i accepted everything. everything about him. his family. his life. i don’t think no one will ever understand why i’m doing this. or why i just cannot let this love go.

    i lost my point in writing this. i guess i just want your readers to know that no one can ever dictate what’s in your heart. i can share that there have been a couple of times that we both wanted to break it off. but at the end of the day, love always finds a way. i may upset some of your readers or perhaps even outrage others. but i will stand by him for as long as i make him happy and for as long as i have the love to give.

    if any of your readers find themselves in a similar situation, i hope they know that they’re not alone. i give out my strength and my courage to do what your heart dictates and your mind agrees to.

    madamo nga salamat guid sa imo, migs.

  3. geek-o said on 08-07-2010

    agree with tito migs, sooner or later you have to choose and we all hope it is the honorable one

  4. some others said on 16-05-2010

    i jaynen!
    aLam mo, mas mahirap ang situation ko… hindi Lang wife nya ang kahati ko…. pati anak nya…. ang hirap ng ganto… Lagi kang nasasaktan…. =(

  5. jaynen said on 13-05-2010

    well dude, i can relate in ur situation.im like the 18 year old guy in the relationship,. howver im just 20 and single. i had a 26 year-old bf. he loves me howver he has a gf and they are in the realtionship for 3 years. i asked him??” are u happy with me?””will u allow me to go when time comes that u and ur gf will be marying soon?”

    he just hugged me and he cried, he told me” baby, lets not atal about it. right now im happy with you. when you came”…as im writing this msg, he is in his gf ryt now… honestly, i am hurt when this happened esp na may kahati ka…stupid maybe, but what can i do? i love him. and he wanted to be with me than his gf coz he can seek more understanding and care sakin…im happy…

    maybe, i could say that in this kind of life, its unfair,, we have different preferences yet we had alot of choices and even myself would force him to stay with me and stop loving him,, maybe its selfish to say but it hurts really… unfair sakin coz im single…young and fresh… i just dont know. for me. bahala na basta happy kaming dalawa….i dont care what others will say…

  6. some others said on 24-04-2010

    paano kung baLiktad na perspective naman…
    what advice will you give to a singLe gay faLLing in Love with a married man?

  7. otikas said on 20-02-2010

    hi guys, i am male 27 married, and i am bisexual. You guys dont understand, unless you are in a position.

    i am in love with a 24 year old dude, discreet gay. I tell you there is entirely nothing wrong with a married guy having a relationship with a dude.

    WHAT COULD BE MORE BISEXUAL THAN A MAN BEING MARRIED TO A WOMAN?

    I mean, consider this, not everyone is given a gift by God, to handle two worlds in both hands.

    Kung napagsasabay mo ang dalawa, it’s a blessing!

    I love both my wife and my boyfriend because I love them.

    Ang ganda kaya ng song ni Taylor Swift at Boys Like Girls …. “TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE!”

    LMFAO!

  8. robert said on 18-01-2010

    It’s easy to pass judgment especially if you haven’t been in the same situation. I’m a bi myself and i can empathize with ron’s dilemma. Though I’m not married yet, I have a girlfriend whom i love very much and would like to be married with someday. On the other hand, i am also attracted to guys and engage in gay sex from once in a while. It’s not an easy decision to make. While you want to make other people happy (family, bf, gf, etc.), at the end of the day, it’s your happiness that matters to you. It may sound like a selfish declaration but it is what it is. It’s like being made to choose between a rock and a hard place. Unless you’ve been in this rut, you’ll never understand.

  9. Luvkou said on 18-01-2010

    In a lifetime, mapaglaro ang tadhana! But remember, one can not have both world. If you chose one, you may lose the other in the long run. And be ready to bear both burden and ridicule in a society that looks at things in a set of double standard morality.
    Several times, I have to make a decision. I weighted all the pros and cons of being in love with a fellow man.
    Luckily, I got the cue from my mother. She openly accepted who I am. That was it. Relationship came a went. But I have had no regrets. all was worth remembering.
    But I always made a point even to this day when loving tended to knock at the door again, that no other third party will be involved or hurt.
    Kung bi, be bi. Kung hetero, accept the consequences. But again, avoid hurting other people.

  10. hulk said on 18-01-2010

    ahahaha mga bayot

  11. FilipinoTopMale said on 01-11-2009

    ron, come to terms with yourself first. before you can be true to your wife and kids or your boyfriend, be true to yourself first. come to terms with your true sexuality. you may believe yourself to be bisexual but sooner or later, you will have to choose whether you are one or the other. it is human nature that we seek the stability of a relationship. if you have decided your wife and children are above anything in your life, then leave your boyfriend. in this case, you need to keep a faithful, heterosexual relationship with your wife. if, with certainty, you have come to terms of your homosexuality, then keep your boyfriend. if you chose the later, you hurt your wife and children, and the rest of your family. but in the end, your happiness, no matter how others may judge you, selfish as it may seem, is your concern.

  12. jhez said on 30-10-2009

    I guess you have to choice between your family and you 18 yr old lover.
    Sa akin lang…just keep the friendship! much better kung ganon na lang kayo. and besides pareho nyo naman ayaw iwanan ang family mo and present gf nya… win-win situation na un.

  13. George said on 29-10-2009

    mali. sobrang mali ang ginagawa niyo. may asawa ka na, Ron.

  14. Niki said on 29-10-2009

    For Ron: Love and life are two things that are hard to deal with but with enough effort and time, can work harmniously too. Whatever it is that made you desire to have a relationship with an 18year old is where you should look back at. Are these things the ones that you valie more than your family? In the long run, whichwill make you have a more meaningful and content life? These are the questions that you have to think of and answer for yourself. In this community, what we offer is just choices. It totally depends on you which to take.

    This is my first te to write here and it feels liberating. This site truly is a place of solitude for US.

    More power Migs!

  15. Milk Man said on 27-10-2009

    Yes, it is true that married men like me found a safe haven here to commune with PLU. I was in the same shoes until I finally decided that it won’t work out. I dropped off my guy for 8 years because I am married for 8 years also. Apples to apples, walang binatbat ang lalaki sa mga anak ko at asawa.

    Ron, take it from somebody who’s been there, drop him off. He’s not worth your time. Find love in your wife kahit paminsan misan e hinahanap mo ang yakap ng lalaki. The risks are too obvious and the answer is also obvious.

  16. ulan said on 27-10-2009

    @ eric
    di naman siguro lahat ng bading e after 1 guy ‘next please’ kagad. siguro ikaw iyon.
    ang katayuan ng kabit ko ngayon ay parang si ron pero ang difference lang hindi ako 18 years younger at wala akong gf.
    isa akong bading na minahal ni kabit(ewan ko kung pagmamahal ba iyon)at kahit alam kong talunan ako pagdating ng araw, minahal ko rin siya.
    huwag mong husgahan ang lahat ng bading na kung sino2 nalang ang mga lalaki.

  17. toybee said on 26-10-2009

    you just want to have your cake and eat it. selfish. come clean tell your wife that you are bisexual and your kids too, whether they like it or not, you have to tell them.
    you cannot have the best of both worlds. pumili ka ng mundong gagalawan mo at huwag mong wasakin ang mundo ng asawa at mga anak mo.
    huwag kang suwapang!

  18. Pi-Op said on 25-10-2009

    “There are lots of risk for both of us. i dont want to destroy my family and jeopardize the future of my kids”

    This is what I don’t get. Alam na nga lang na risky eh magririsk pa. Anu ba ang mas importante sa kanya? family ba nya or ang tawag ng laman? you can’t have both. you just have to choose 1.

  19. prince said on 25-10-2009

    hi ron. i was in 3rd year high school back then when i personally confirmed the rumors that my father is gay. yep, he had this relationship with my classmate who had been candid enough to admit it to me. i felt like shit during that time, i was only 15 then, that dilemma i had is way too much for a teen. ‘know what, i’m thinking of drowning you to death, sorry…just think of your kids ron, they don’t deserve to suffer the same thing that i went through if your illicit affair comes to their knowledge.do what you ought to do right. respect your marriage and your family…please.

  20. Eric said on 25-10-2009

    Little Fish, I agree, well said, haha . In the end, sex lang ang habol ng mga bading sa lalaki, then goodbye , next please

  21. Little Fish said on 24-10-2009

    Friendship? Putcha naman…..

    Ok pa cguro kung sabihin ninyo…..Ang sarap ng 18 year old guy sa kama! Young…vibrant and vigorous!

    There is nothing to be confused about….

    You are married with kids….he is dating with girl!
    And, both of you fucks well.

    There is no love or friendship here…..its all about LUSTS.

    Period.

  22. Fritz said on 24-10-2009

    Frank says, “Fritz on #4 and #5, I did say maturity is dependent on age. I said I can not see the maturity in the relationship. There is a difference.
    Besides this not about you.”

    Frank, just because my comment was next to yours, does not mean I commented on your opinions alone. My comment is about the common notion that young people do not have maturity because of their age. To use your own words, “… this [is] not about you.” Wag masyadong defensive… baka magka-wrinkles ka =)

    Also, I’m rather curious to know what are the basis or conditions of a mature relationship? And what is a mature relationship anyway? Because in my opinion, people who put rules or conditions in love never experienced its true kind. True love is powerful, unconditional, irrational, uncontrollable. It’s messy and it’s painful but it is also blissful and pure. It can make or break a man and even launch a thousand ships. And sometimes, in love, it is right to do the wrong thing… to know what you really feel… to know what is real. (Litanya to the max! Migs, iba talaga ang effect ng blog mo! =)

    Anyway, I just want to make it clear… hindi ako nang-aagaw ng eksena. I was merely stating the fact that youth should not be judged merely because of their age by using an example based on my experiences. Hindi naman kasi ako tulad ng iba na nagmamagaling lang… salita ng salita kahit hindi alam kung ano ang sinasabi o yung mga tao na magaling mang-judge ng iba kahit they do not have a clue what it’s like to be on the other side of the wall.

    Guys, if any of you plan to take offense due to my comments, please understand that I’m not saying these just to spite people. Problema nyo na kung matamaan kayo o hindi dahil ako, wala akong gustong tamaan. I’m just really opinionated in certain topics… maybe it’s due to the idealism of my youth or whatever… and I ain’t gonna apologize for it. To guys who write sensible, non-judgmental comments, keep it up guys. At para sa mga walang masabing matino at gusto lang mang-bad trip ng iba, unimom na lang kayo ng liquid sosa. Choz!

  23. Gargan Chua said on 23-10-2009

    To letter-sender: I hope you know that by making your story public you are opening yourself to scrutiny and criticisms. People judge, so better be man enough to take the brunt.

    My two-cents: (1) Nakakahiya ka! I hope you acknowledge that what you are doing to yourself and your family is most shameful. (2) Di ka dapat tularan at di ka inspirasyon sa nakararami (3) No amount of love for your family will redeem you from your familial sins if you continue your charade.

    Pero, di pa huli ang lahat para magbago. I know you will make the right choice for yourself, for your family and for your lover!

  24. frank said on 23-10-2009

    Fritz on #4 and #5, I did say maturity is dependent on age. I said I can not see the maturity in the relationship. There is a difference.

    Besides this not about you.

  25. Fritz said on 23-10-2009

    Fabulously yours, I’m not advocating na gumawa tayo ng mali ng paulit-ulit… I think you missed the point of my comment. What I’m trying to say is that, habang may buhay may problema, inasan man natin o hindi, kinontrol man natin ang mga pangyayari o hindi, something will always happen to test us. What’s important is how are we going to cope up with our problems. Kasi ang gusto nang marami sa atin piliin yung madaling daan… kalimutan ang problema, move on and just stay in your comfort zone. Pero hindi maaalis na you already committed the mistake. Kalimutan mo man ito… tigilan mo man ang relasyon sa iba, sa loob mo alam mo na nagkasala ka na. In life, we must learn how to do the hard decisions… we must learn to man up and face the consequences, masakit man or may masaktan man. You already screwed up, wala ka nang choice kundi harapin ang problem.

    Marami nagsasabi ng mga dapat ginawa nung una pa lang, na para bang makakabalik pa tayo sa nakaraan. Pero hindi nya na pwede balikan ang mga nangyari na. Nandito na ang problema at ang kailangan ay solusyon… o kung hindi man solusyon, at least dapat gumawa ng action. As I said in my comment a few scrolls down, “It’s what you do before you fall is what really matters.” (NOTE: Mali ba yung grammar ko at parang super dinisect ni fabulously yours yung comment ko? (‘.’))

    To the Republic of Gaylopolis, please read comments carefully and please understand it in as many connotations as you can before you comment to other people’s opinions. And if you are unsure, wag ka na lang mag-comment kasi… alam mo yun, bad trip kung mali ka nang intindi. Biro lang =) Peace to you Fabulously Yours.

  26. abc said on 23-10-2009

    agree ako with migs – that we come to this blog site not just to ask for advice but also, to commune and hoping for a safe haven. one thing i learned after listening to several podcast dito – madalas kong marinig yung mga salitang – ‘walang judgement’. and i am trying my best na isa-puso yun. kasi yun ang essence ng world peace – akala lang natin funny yung ‘world peace’ kasi sa beau-con lang natin naririnig yun – pero for us who aspire for a world na lahat pantay-pantay – we start in our little way, and ito ang kulturang bumubuo sa blog site na ito. that’s why i like hanging out here.

    to ron – ang swerte mo and you had the chance to experience this pero remember (ayokong maging biblical pero) you can’t serve two masters at the same time. sa akin – no problem to be bi-married-with-kids – eh ganun talaga eh. pero may limitasyon lang – anu ba naman if you cruise around with boys – ok lang as long as you don’t get emotionally involved with any of them (the least thing you can do) – kasi committed ka na. yun lang at ganun ka-simple. as it is, complicated na ang situation mo – don’t complicate it more – i know it is exciting pero…alam mo na yun!

    world peace (sabi nga ni migs) – i am just amazed minsan how much we abhor discrimination coming from people outside our community – pero alam mo, minsan tayo we discriminate our own kind din – wala lang…napaisip lang…

  27. mike vera said on 23-10-2009

    the truth is, we married guys do not really ask for advice. ang gusto lang namin me mapagshare-ran ng nararamdaman namin sa mga taong una sa lahat, alam naming makakaintindi ng nasa loob namin.

    madaling sabihin ang magpakahonorable, what will happen in the future, we really dont know, but sometimes, just sometimes, all we need is a heart who listen from people who matter and people like us…

    • migs said on 23-10-2009

      @mike vera – indeed. you, and countless others, come here not just to ask for advice but to commune, hoping for a safe haven. safe from judging eyes and moralizing fingers. it may not be realistic to expect that everyone will understand you, but do trust that a lot of us here while disagreeing with your choices may in fact resonate with your situation. it’s a tough life and a tough world out there, thank god for kindred souls.

  28. ben said on 22-10-2009

    “you know what to do, even if you’re confused.” – i agree 100%

  29. putekman said on 22-10-2009

    well said migs.

    ron, tama na panloloko sa asawa at mga anak. sila muna isipin mo bago ang sarili.

  30. fabulously yours said on 22-10-2009

    Fritz says, “He fell in love to a guy while being married… anu naman? – Anong anu naman? Hello, yes there’s no problem with falling in love kahit pa milyon-milyong beses but check it out dude what’s the next thing will happen. The problem will arise if we entertain the feelings without even thinking the other side of it…

    “As long as we are alive, shit will always happen, what’s important is how are we going to clean it. Are we just going to cover it with the carpet and hope it will vanish without a trace? Or are we going to man up, clean it with a dustpan and throw it away even if its disgusting and smelly and eeewww? – Wow, choices of words are really great but it doesn’t mean na if we created dirts and if we can clean it easily, we can do it over and over again… Imagine a stained cloth, put a bleach and if you repeatedly clean it, see what will happen? The cloth will soon be damaged… Katulad din ng buhay natin, madaling gumawa ng dumi, kaya ngang palinisin pero di naman puwedeng paulit-ulit na lang…

    “It’s what you do before you fall is what really matters.”
    – Ano? and that means what you did after will have no impact at all? Parang mali? Kaya nga sa buhay we need to think over and over again before tayo makagawa ng desisyon sa anumang bagay dahil ang mahalaga ay kung ano ang kahihinatnan sa bandang huli…

    Fritz, ang sa akin lang… PEACE!!!

  31. pok said on 22-10-2009

    libog lang yan.

  32. ulan said on 22-10-2009

    18 years old wiht 5 years relationship? haleeeeeeeerr anu iyon 13 lang meron na siyang STD? as in steady? jowa? unrealistic minsan ang mga nagkukuwento dito, kaya naman parang nagiging totoo dahil magaling lang si migs mag advice.

    di ko alam kung dapat bang sisihin dito si migs,
    ang blogs mo ba’y isang instrumento para malaman ng mga lalaki na bakla sila?
    or isa itong instrumento sa mga tagong bakla para lumabas at magpakatotoo?
    ito bay nagdadala ng world peace sa bawat bakla na naliligaw dito? na hanggang opinion at comments lang nmn ang kanyang gawin, pero hindi ang katotohanang matulungan silang mag come out?
    gumawa ka nalang kaya ng federacion para sa mga tagong bading na hirap na sa kalooban at gusto ng magpakatotoo.

  33. rudeboy said on 22-10-2009

    “Though it may be true that age is not directly proportional to maturity (emotional or ano pa man), pero I’m sure 18 isn’t exactly mature enough for a 30-year old guy.”

    Thank you, ares in uae. I believe men will always be men, and therefore men will always be pigs. They will cheat on their partner – male or female – as surely as the sun rises in the east.

    I have no beef with that, because I have learned to accept the imperfections of humanity – men in particular – grating as they may be. But perhaps the letter-sender may find a discreet, illicit relationship far easier to maintain if, as ares pointed out, he found someone whose age is closer to his. I’m not debunking fritz’s opinion about mature 18-year-olds – they exist, I’m sure – but for the most part, they are lacking in discernment and their emotional quotient is still low. Yes, there are many immature 40-year-olds, but, like mature 18-year-olds, I think they are the exceptions rather than the rule.

  34. Kamote said on 22-10-2009

    hey, your relationship is quite interesting but honestly speaking it takes a lot of effort especially for you to make things go your way. Just live life! enjoy it to the fullest while you have him and he has you! This only happens once in a blue moon.

    Tc! =D

  35. ares in uae said on 22-10-2009

    18 years old guy na may gf for 5 years? ahemmmmm….

    Though it may be true that age is not directly proportional to maturity (emotional or ano pa man), pero I’m sure 18 isn’t exactly mature enough for a 30-year old guy. If he is at least 25 and you’re 37 or if he is 30 and you are 42, then that may be a different story.

    Kawawa naman pamilya mo. I’m sad for your wife kasi you’ve been lying to her for too long. She deserve “real” happiness. But then again i don’t know the whole story.

    Bottom line, you wouldn’t ask if you knew what you do is right. Deep inside you know that it is wrong – not you being gay (o bisexual kung yun ang gusto mo and if it makes you feel better) but the deceit you do to your family and to yourself. Tandaan mo ring the truth is always liberating.

  36. Galen said on 22-10-2009

    It’s easy to switch preference if you know how to do it. But if it would destroy other people’s lives, then what’s the use of following our own direction.

    But your choice is your choice. I just hope you would be responsible for its consequences.

  37. fabulously yours said on 22-10-2009

    for you Ron, I think you know what you are doing and why you still need an advise when you know very well the consequences of your action. Because, you just need to tell to the world that “Hey, am a family man and I have a boyfriend that is so young!”. Wake up Ron, you decide what you really want. It’s a choice between two alternatives… you choose your boyfriend or you choose your family. How dare you say you don’t want to jeopardize the future of your kids and want to save your family? Hey, Ron wake up! I am not saying it’s wrong to make friends but it is another thing. That is the problem with us, we always want to have a better life… a happy life but it is us who ruin it with those kind of actions without minding the consequences it will bring. You choose: Family or Boyfriend? Only that. I hope I make sense. In the first place if you know earlier that you will be happy ending up falling for a boy, why you get married? Please be matured enough. God bless you.

  38. alex crux said on 22-10-2009

    This is a very risky relationship… pero life is designed full of risks.
    For the letter sender, be ready for consequences of your actions. I will not say that what you are doing is right or wrong. I have different perspective of what is wrong and right.
    Gay and bi lifestyles such as the one described by the letter sender are not yet totally accepted in our society. Your family may be subjected to unnecessary societal stigma when you are caught doing this. That could all ruin the future of your family. I know people who are doing the same, but because of luck and perhaps discreteness, they are still pursuing same life. However, how it will end- is still a million question to me.
    I do not want to be sentimental about it? But why is it that in our society – when man is caught philandering with other woman, chances are they are accepted. For married men caught with other men, chances are they will be condemned.
    Just for other readers to think about this>>>>>>>>> Is there any more chance to legally recognize that human sex are not only straight male and female but there are in between – the bisexuals. That seeing them with same sex as sex partners are just part of their own needs and existence?? Life is really unfair especially for us bisexuals.

  39. Fritz said on 22-10-2009

    At tsaka, sabihin ko lang… isa akong produkto ng nasirang pamilya dahil sa hindi pagiging tapat ng mga mgaulang ko sa isa’t-isa… at bilang anak, mas gusto ko pa na naghiwalay na lang ng maaga ang mga magulang ko kaysa makita silang nahihirapan dahil pinatagal nila ang panloloko.

    Mas lumalim ang sugat dahil sa hindi agad nilunasan at mas masakit nang oras na upang gamutin. Kahit hindi niya hiwalayan ang asawa niya niloloko nya pa rin ito dahil meron siyang tinatago tungkol sa sarili niya. At bilang anak, mas gusto ko malaman kung sino talaga ang ama ko kaysa mapahiya ako kung malaman ko pa sa iba na hindi pala totoo ang paniwala ko tungkol sa kanya.

    Maaari pa rin naman siya maging mabuting ama kahit hindi na sila kasal. Ang sukatan ng pagiging magaling na ama ay kung paano mo mamahalin ang mga anak mo. Dapat nga lang, kung makikipaghiwalay man siya, ipaliwanag niya sa asawa at mga anak niya na hindi masama ang intensiyon niya at hindi niya ginusto na saktan sila… just sayin’ =)

  40. Fritz said on 22-10-2009

    Guys, maturity is not dependent to chronological age. I’m 21 and I’m sure I have experienced many things that even some 50 year olds did not. These experiences made me mature in some aspects of my life. I’m not saying that I’m all-knowing but saying that there is no wisdom in youth just because of chronological age is a big bulls***. Also, judging someone’s feelings and intentions by just basing it to the age of his partner is a sign of immaturity… mature people know how to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

    Love does not have rules… the heart cannot be controlled not to fall in love base on age or physical attributes or whatever… so who are we to judge? He fell in love to a guy while being married… anu naman? As long as we are alive, shit will always happen, what’s important is how are we going to clean it. Are we just going to cover it with the carpet and hope it will vanish without a trace? Or are we going to man up, clean it with a dustpan and throw it away even if its disgusting and smelly and eeewww?

    It’s what you do before you fall is what really matters.

  41. frank said on 22-10-2009

    I don’t see any maturity on this kind of relationship. It is not worth risking one’s honor, dignity and family. The boy is only 18. You are merely exploiting his innocence in the guise of love and friendship. Migs was right, you have to make a choice and everybody will agree what your choice must be.

  42. grill said on 22-10-2009

    i believe that there is no such thing as bisexuality. one is either gay or straight. within you is a moral man.

  43. rudeboy said on 22-10-2009

    His boyfriend’s 18?

    Not exactly an age marked by emotional maturity.

  44. irma daldal said on 22-10-2009

    being “bisexual” is not an excuse to break your marriage vows!

    what if your father had an affair with another woman or another man? what if your wife had an affair with another man or another woman? how would you feel?

    if you don’t want to destroy your family and jeopardize the future of your kids you should stop your sexual or intimate relationship with the 3rd party.

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