Dec
22

Rod, the MGG reader from Pampanga

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I met Rod last year, in April 2008. He’s a regular here in MGG, he claims, and he so wanted to meet me. In one of our earlier email exchanges, I asked him, “Rod, why do you want to meet me?” He answered:

Parang ikaw si Kris Aquino, you influence us. :)

I think it would be interesting to meet you. What’s with Migs? How is he in person? Constant reader ako ng love story mo with the actor, the basketball player and this recent guy who appeared in cc’s blog. And even that Boracay EB. :) … and now, it’s more than a year.

Pinarinig ko rin with my straight friend, all your podcasts, which discussed long distance relationships.


* * *

A long series of email exchanges followed, and after discovering that he’s an acqaintance of a very close friend, I decided to meet him. It turned out, he’s a fine young man. Guwapo (in fact one of the most physically attractive MGG readers I’ve met in person), tall, and always with a smile on his face. More than all these, I think the reason why he is ‘guwapo’ for me is his apparent lack of ‘ere’ — parang di niya alam na ang guwapo niya.

* * *

We met in Trinoma. We talked about a lot of things. When I meet someone for the first time, I tend to ask a lot of questions. Minsan napapasobra, one would say, “parang interview `to ah!” Yeah, I admit, I can be very curious, sometimes overly curious. But that is just because I really want to get to know the person. I know I need to develop more finesse in getting to know people — I’m working on it — but with Rod, it flowed quite naturally. Para sa akin, masarap siyang kausap. The conversation just flowed naturally. Napakarami naming napag-usapan noong gabing yoon.

* * *

“Tara, I want you to meet my officemate. Masaya ang fag hag na yun!” said Rod in one of our phone conversations that followed the meeting. The girl officemate even came to the phone to talk to me, “Tara kasi Migs! Nood tayo ng sine! Para may ka-holding hands si Rod!” she joked. I never got to meet them that time. Meanwhile, around those days, I met Marco, who will eventually become my partner. With that I became too preoccupied and thus lost touch with Rod.

* * *

Fast forward to present time. Two nights ago, in a joyous get together, a close friend asked me, “have you visited Rod’s friendster recently?” I was puzzled. He continued, “Patay na siya. Pneumonia yata.”

I didn’t know how to react. Rod was so young, not even 25. And he’s gone.

* * *

The next day I found myself in Trinoma. In Starbucks, where we first met. Then I walked the same path we did on that April evening, 20 months ago. It was so different, now everything is Christmassy, lights and all, with the merry songs floating, and people’s buzz quite exciting — but with all those, while I was traversing that same path we walked, I felt so heavy inside. That walk ended at TGI Friday’s. It’s the resto where we had dinner. I requested for the same exact table where Rod and I sat, and talked, and interviewed, and laughed… And as soon as a sat down, as I was trying to browse through the menu, tears began to flow.

* * *

I was with Rod only once, just that night. After that, phone calls and text messages here and there. Then nothing. We lost touch. But now, when I learned of his passing away, I felt so affected. Death, as if staring me in the face, is telling me something. It’s more than the usual cliche, live your life to the fullest, or live your day as if it’s the last. It’s more about animating a dance with the world — of living with a rhythm, a beat, a meaning that’s bigger and beyond one’s self, a step here and there, sometimes bold, sometimes meek, yet flowing with life’s music, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes loud, sometimes low, yet moving, always moving, always dancing, with someone, or with everyone, and never alone.

* * *

Rod, may you rest in peace. I have not fully unfurled your gift, the lesson of your life and the lesson of your death. One day it’ll be clearer. Thank you.

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32 Comments So Far

  1. ano ba iyan…puro na lang death….ayoko ng ganyang istorya…. ;(

    Bebeng Ganda at Dec 22, 09 at 10:35 am

  2. omg. heartbreaking.

    i'm a narnian at Dec 22, 09 at 11:19 am

  3. sana ung happy na story naman for christmas..

    asterisk at Dec 22, 09 at 11:39 am

  4. Grabe, napaluha ako dun ah….

    aksjdh at Dec 22, 09 at 1:09 pm

  5. =(

    Ronnie at Dec 22, 09 at 1:35 pm

  6. it is really so sad. losing someone is really hard. goodbyes are the hardest that way.

    •alchemist• at Dec 22, 09 at 1:47 pm

  7. “I have not fully unfurled your gift, the lesson of your life and the lesson of your death.” =(

    darc at Dec 22, 09 at 3:11 pm

  8. was his immune system compromised?

    larry at Dec 22, 09 at 3:14 pm

  9. sad…

    cinnamon_cookie at Dec 22, 09 at 3:39 pm

  10. it seems that good things never last, and good people too, passes away early… so how sad naman Migs, you haven’t find time to know more the person.

    davem at Dec 22, 09 at 3:59 pm

  11. awww…it’s hard to know these stories. may Rod rest in peace. BTW, when will you go to Dean’s dad Migs?

    guyrony at Dec 22, 09 at 3:59 pm

  12. sad. =(

    one less good looking guy in the world.

    magman at Dec 22, 09 at 4:21 pm

  13. Totoo? Una-unahan lang yan!

    dex at Dec 22, 09 at 5:42 pm

  14. bakit parati kang namamatayan? weird. :p

    mememe at Dec 22, 09 at 7:43 pm

  15. i think you have posted this before.

    allen at Dec 22, 09 at 8:08 pm

  16. No way!!!i was expecting a happy ending story.hmf so sad…

    dave_davao at Dec 22, 09 at 10:01 pm

  17. allow me to ask this question again by larry: was his immune system compromised?

    my classmate, 29, died of pneumonia and his body was cremated immediately. maybe i was the last person whom he watched movie with and the last person whom he drink bottles of beer with.

    where did i know? on my fb accoount, it was sent to me by a common friend who is HIV+

    MrCens at Dec 23, 09 at 5:23 am

  18. how sad…..but indeed life is so short that one would just waste their time with nothing……..

    kaya ako just be contented with what i have….
    ako din sana ma meet ko rin si migs..

    i think..

    you’re sweet…
    you’re smart..
    you’re gwapo..
    you’re intellegent..
    you’re amazing…
    you’re brilliant..

    and best of all you understand everything that a gay person is going through…

    sana ma meet din kita..

    you’re like my inpsiration..
    you’re like my brother..
    you’re like my teacher..

    best of all….

    You’re the hero that every gay person wants to be…

    love you Migs….mwah..
    oh by the way..

    Merry Christmas sayo…Migs..☺

    pj polito at Dec 23, 09 at 6:07 am

  19. was it because of HIV and eventually immune system failure that he died?

    tsk at Dec 23, 09 at 8:34 am

  20. huhu.. teary eyed nman ako.. ngulat ako nung nbsa ko ung “Patay na siya. Pneumonia yata.” d ko expect na ganun ung story…

    merry christmas to all

    kuleet at Dec 23, 09 at 9:55 am

  21. kainis naman ito….
    kala ko masaya….

    tara migs yung coffee meet up natin?

    ianfelix at Dec 23, 09 at 2:36 pm

  22. apat na ang narinig kong ganyan, sudden death by pneumonia, ang common denominator mga HIV+, kakalungkot….

    dex at Dec 23, 09 at 9:31 pm

  23. oo nga may narinig din akong ganyang story….namatay din. kaya pacheck na kayo.

    http://www.greenbodytalk.com/forums/hiv-and-aids-b71.0/

    Mr L at Dec 24, 09 at 12:09 am

  24. sad.

    neon at Dec 24, 09 at 7:02 am

  25. “One would say, ‘parang interview `to ah!’”

    Yes, Migs can grill you in person, hehehe. But friendly naman…

    :)

    Ian at Dec 25, 09 at 11:28 am

  26. parang mas natakot ako dun sa HIV ah…postulate ha…

    ian_din at Dec 26, 09 at 2:17 am

  27. Sigh, I can totally relate…

    vondraye at Dec 26, 09 at 7:07 am

  28. it’s saddening but i know it’s something that migs just has to share … perhaps to remind us that life is too short. hugs to everyone who has felt such a loss one way or another.

    helios at Dec 27, 09 at 1:31 am

  29. Sorry to hear about your loss. Isn’t it weird how some people just connect with you for a brief moment but leave such a lasting mark? Your story made me ponder what impression I might have left people who have only known me in passing. Will I always be remembered positively, I wonder?

    will at Dec 29, 09 at 11:16 am

  30. nakaiiyak.. ganyan din ang na feel ko nung napanood ko ung Yossi and Jagger. Grabe… 2002 pa yon pero hanggang ngayon. nandito pa rin ung panghihinayang….huhhuhu…

    Doug Marasigan at Dec 30, 09 at 6:19 pm

  31. kala ko magandang story. shet. nakakasisi. sana di ko na lang binasa. yoko ng mga gantong storya. gosh. sakit. parang matagal ko ng kilala si rod. gara naman. hehe.

    mayi at Jan 24, 10 at 8:28 am

  32. omg… disheartening. ;(

    Roel at May 30, 10 at 11:43 pm

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