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Here’s a comment an older post got recently, which I thought was worthy to be a post in itself. It says something about how people see bisexuals: “Everyone says bi-men have (or want) the best of both worlds. But in fact we have the best of neither world.” Makes sense? What do you think? Read on for the full text:

First I want to apologize because I’m a foreigner in your wonderful country who hasn’t yet mastered Tagalog. So I can’t understand all of the original post. But I’m an older married guy and I’ve had many younger Pinoy bfs. The problem is most have seen me as a bank rather than a serious partner. My wife (who is also foreign) was very supportive when I came out to her, but that turned when she realised I could love another man. We’re separated now, although not yet divorced. We’re still good friends and I still send most of my salary to my kids (My wife’s salary isn’t enough to cover all the bills). Most bisexual guys eventually become totally gay (statistics state 90%). Now I have a house in the Philippines and I have a bf who is totally devoted to me. It’s early days in our relationship but he’s so mabait I really think he’s the one. I decided to move to the Philippines because I’ve worked with Pinoys for so long I understand much of your culture, I have a lot of friends in Pinas, and I have a severe weakness for Asian men.
But the effect on my family? My wife doesn’t want to meet another man because she can’t trust men after me. My kids love me but don’t want to visit the Philippines or see me with a bf. So yes, you can say I am selfish. But for you guys who are totally straight, or totally gay, from the very start, it’s not as cut and dried as that when you are bi. Everyone says bi-men have (or want) the best of both worlds. But in fact we have the best of neither world. I’m not after sympathy with this post. I just want you guys condemning Mike to wait until you’re in a similar situation before you drop the axe.[-Nico]

Comments (46)

  1. phoenix said on 23-12-2010

    may phase ang bisexual. period. 🙂

  2. Valeria Mazza said on 13-12-2010

    ito na naan tyo, bi bi na yan, wala naman yan, sa mga bi dito bilangin nyo kung ilan beses kayo nakipag sex sa ababe at ilang beses sa kapwa bading o lalaki, kung san marami yun ka. wag na tyong magpanggap

  3. Nicknight said on 20-11-2010

    guys, gays and bis…. chillax lang teyu oks…. ala na dapat away … dapat matuto tayung rumespeto sa sexualidad ng bawat isa…. lahat tayu may kanya kanyang paniniwala gaya ng relihiyon…. okays…. and for the ones na nagsasabing alang bisexuals eh anung tawag nyu sa mga sandamukal na nagcomment ditong mga bisexuals diba….. lets just live in harmony coexistent to one another…..^_________^….. kasi diba nga ang need lang naman ng mga taong nasa 3rd sex ay acceptance…. so lets learn to accept ang isat isa….

  4. metoto said on 13-08-2010

    i think bisexuals are not gays like us… malibog lang talaga sila… at kung tutuusin mas masarap makipag sex sa kapwa lalaki diva… lol palaban kasi at tigasin… their heart wants women and their d**k love men… parang ganyan. opinion po lamang… peace…

  5. bumblebee said on 14-04-2010

    tama yung iba dito. meron talaga ung tinatawag na “bisexual”. isa rin ako sa mga yun. at para sa akin walang mali dun. nag eenjoy naman ako sa gf ko. nalilibugan rin ako sa mga kapwa lalaki ko. take this case pag jingle kami, ung sa tabi tabi lang, nagpapakitaan kami ng mga kasama ko. minsan nalilibog ako pag nakikita ung ibang manoy ng mga kasama ko. tapos pag sa babae naman, hayun, makakita lang ng sexy at boobsy, sh*t ang sarap! haha

    astig sa barkada. tapos astig rin sa mga babae. ganun talaga eh.

  6. ram said on 13-04-2010

    again: learn from great thinkers. plato said: bisexuality is the perfect gender. it is the equilibrium of a male and female being. lastly, gays,for him, are the bravest of men.

  7. Nico said on 07-04-2010

    @ Ron. It wasn’t easy for me either. I also was hurt by everything. And to choose to live the other side of the world (I’m British) isn’t easy when you have kids. And I was truly bisexual. When I married I was totally in love with my wife. I never expected the gay side of me to come to the fore like it did. I thought I could control it. I admitted already to be a bit selfish with my decision. Yes, I fulfil the financial obligations because of guilt. But many men here don’t. And many men in Pinas who have children and then start another family, also don’t. So don’t judge until you are in a similar situation (which I hope you never are). And yes, I’m totally gay now. I’m only attracted to men. But bis do exist. Don’t doubt it.

  8. Taekopenk said on 06-04-2010

    Eto sampol:
    Si Aster, waiter. Taga probinsya, lumuwas para kumita at makatulong sa pamilya, pogi, relihiyoso, str8, walang experience sa kabaklaan, may nobya, nagka pamilya at nagka anak ng tatlo at talagang hirap na hirap sa buhay. Hanggang sa nakilala ng kaibigan kong bading na mayaman. Matagal na ligawan ang nangyari. Dinaan sa mga regalo at kinang ng salapi, at katusuan ng bading. Hanggan sa sumuko ang bataan.

    Laila Dee ang drama ni aster waiter sa umpisa.
    Ngayon nakikipag69 na, at minsan nag v versa pa.

    Ang kaibigan kong bading na mayaman ay makikipagpatayan na ipaglaban na STR8 ang waiter, kahit natitira na nya. Tito ang drama nya sa mga anak ng waiter. Si Tito ang may-ari ng restoran ni waiter. Si Tito rin ay may asawa at mga anak.

    Ngayon, ano tingin nyo kay Aster waiter:
    1. Str8?
    2. Gay?
    3. Bi?

    At ano naman tingin nyo kay Tito:
    1. Str8?
    2. Gay?
    3. Bi?

    Ok mga bading, Vote na!

  9. mike vera said on 06-04-2010

    anyway nico, just enjoy what you have right now. give your full blast in love. no half-baked. believe me, love begets love even if pokpok pa yan ($%#@! ang hirap mag-englis!). just learn not to expect or maghanap ng kapalit. 😉

  10. mike vera said on 06-04-2010

    And yes. I do enjoy the best of both worlds. I’m sorry for the letter-sender but its just a matter of looking at glass half-full rather than half-empty. If he feels na hindi siya masaya, suportado ko siya, pero hindi lahat kagaya niyang malungkot. malungkot minsan, pero mas madaming saya. 😉

  11. philip said on 05-04-2010

    guys guys, bisexuals do exist.
    we psychology students study them.
    its just a matter of degree whether a guy swings this way or that.
    i doesnt need to be 50/50.
    sometimes its 40/50 or even as mentioned in the text 10/90.
    some bisexual people end up as homosexuals?
    yes.
    how about being heterosexual?
    yes.
    it all depends on the experience and development that follows.
    dont discriminate.
    because of people’s reactions to bisexuals, i really think that bisexuals are the new minority.
    same as what most of you people say, dont put a man in a box.
    dont pass up a definite judgment.
    most of the people commenting here are homosexuals, which means you guys should know better.
    sheesh….

  12. mario said on 04-04-2010

    @(26) bi boy and (33) mike vera : i like both of ur comments! funny! mabuhay kayong dalawa! mabuhay ang mga BI’s! wooshoo!

  13. bluelightninglad said on 04-04-2010

    LGBT yan. Hindi LGT lang. Konting respeto sa amin mga tsong.

  14. mike vera said on 04-04-2010

    @ anonymous;

    alam mo tol, kung puwede lang mamili, pipiliin ko na maging tunay na lalaki kesa mamili between gay and bi. i hope nasagot ko na tanong mo at ng iba pang mga gay talaga na since time immemorial, eh pilit kaming pinapapapili sa isa… sana ganun kadali.

  15. mike vera said on 04-04-2010

    @ joe;

    sino ba yang samantha jones na yan at mas magaling pa siya sa nararamdaman namin? bi ako, nalilibugan pa din ako sa babae at nakikipagsex pa din ako sa lalaki…although sa iisa na nga lang. hehehe. (wink!)

  16. jhaycee said on 03-04-2010

    bi men will eventually end up gays(mostly if not all) for obvious reason that they enjoyed having sex with men than women.

  17. pacer150 said on 03-04-2010

    buy now pay later..bi now gay later 😉

  18. aug said on 02-04-2010

    I believe there are really bisexuals but sexuality is said to be fluid ( no pun intended) but they are few…most people who claim to be bisexual are really gays…but bisexuals do exist…lets say for every 10 people who claims to be bisexuals..9 of them are most probably sheer gays

  19. anonymous said on 02-04-2010

    @ mario: “STOPPING IS WAY DIFFERENT
    FROM CHOOSING”… Ãœ
    the thing is you “choose” then you “stop”
    messing around…
    its not the same thing as painting, or arts,
    or politics or preaching… Ãœ

  20. Edgar Portalan said on 02-04-2010

    It’s easy…heterosexuals are those capable of having sex with those members of the opposite sex only….whereas homosexuals are those capable of having sex with the members of the same sex exclusively….bisexuals on the other hand are those capable of having sex with both the same and opposite sex…eventually, bisexuals became exclusively homosexual….and vice versa, there are cases that a homosexual can become a straight heterosexual…cycle lang yan, paikut-ikot…it’s just a label….

  21. Bi Boy said on 02-04-2010

    Yes Bisexuals exist! And I am one of them. I am attracted to both women and men. I’m aroused whenever I have sex with either. I love both sexes equally.

    If homosexuals are also attracted to the opposite sex, then I will agree that there really is no such thing.

    I think everyone should also respect us bisexuals. Some of the comments here are too discriminating….

  22. mario said on 02-04-2010

    @12: “The question that I always ask them is until when are you going to to swing both ways? But I never got an answer.”
    -Well, this is the same question that can be asked to anyone: ‘when are you going to stop?’; promiscuous gay men, promiscuous heterosexuals, and even to drug addicts, even to those whose vision is to be rich; to be popular; Each one has his own passion, though varying in objects of passion.
    And if I may add: Others are focused on Arts, others to music… when will they ever stop?
    to the Preachers of righteousness: when will they ever stop?
    To all politicians: when will they ever stop?…

    pareho lng di puh ba?

    luv u all!

  23. bluelightninglad said on 02-04-2010

    Bisexuals exist. I am one.

  24. jhaycee said on 01-04-2010

    bottom line is you’re still gay, no matter what…because bi men have more strong feelings to same sex than to opposite sex…they engaged to have an affair withe opposite sex to hide their true identity, but in the end they’re more attractive to same sex…it’s the society, family and status that stopped or control them from being gay.

  25. maxx said on 01-04-2010

    I think that we humans have been born “bisexual” having the characteristics of masculine and feminine sides, and this is something found in our genes, XX and XY , X being the dominant factor. But as sexuality progresses, it is unfair to say that there are bi-men or straight people per se, sexuality shouldn’t be box or just be confined in somewhat limiting situation. But in the end we all must choose don’t we?

  26. drei said on 01-04-2010

    I think what is wrong is that you categorize people as either gay or straight and denying that bisexuality exists.

    I think there is a scale called Kinsey scale wherein a person is classified from 0 meaning exclusively heterosexual to 6 meaning exclusively homosexual.
    I’m trying to say is that sexuality have different degrees.

  27. anonymous said on 01-04-2010

    @ mario and all the bis out there…
    why can’t you just chose one?
    cause in the end of the day it all boils down to one thing, settling down with the one we chose to spend our lives with… (unless you all want to spend your life swinging from one partner to another)…
    and i qoute from Dante:
    “the hottest fires of hell is reserve for those who remain neutral in times of moral crisis”…

    being “bi” is like being neutral…
    its like living a half life…
    your neither black your white…

    and as if being straight or gay isn’t
    crazy enough…
    ha! what more if your bi?…

    @RonTab, Nico just made his choice he
    can no longer remain neutral…
    (well unless he’ll find a girl, to exchange for
    his current bf. Hehe)

    @Nico, we got your point clear…
    from now on we’ll only be as gay as possible!
    and not “bi”… Hahaha! Peace out! Ãœ

  28. v said on 01-04-2010

    @mario and RonTab: oh… sorry bout that… at least now i know… =)

  29. RonTab said on 01-04-2010

    I don’t think it’s no longer how he considers himself, whether bi or gay, shades of gray towards straight or full fledged gay, that’s not the meat.

    @v: be respectful of others’ view on themselves. Mario is right. I think you’re just so used to the bastardized filipino ‘bisexual’ who hates to be considered bading and is safe under the ‘bisexual’ umbrella. They’re not the real bisexuals.

    @nico: Your family is hurting and you bear that guilt because you wanted to be true to yourself Didn’t you sometimes think that if you stayed in the closed but kept that big secret from your wife and children, it would be ‘less painful’ for everyone? That has always been the common option for most bisexuals/married gay men.

    Your bravery has led to more strife than peace. You wanted to live your life, a bit selfishly, the way you want it. But your wife needs to deal with it. What if you found another woman instead to replace her, would it be really, really different? oh the kids, they’re the hardest to confront. And the most affected. I only wish they can look at you as not just a father, or an authority who doesn’t make a mistake, but a person, a family member who needs to belong in the circle.

    For us childless gay/bisexual men, I think you can have the best of both worlds. Best but not meaning the ideal, best because the blessings (and its strife) are upon you.

  30. mario said on 01-04-2010

    14.@ anonymous: pwedeng maging masaya sa magkabilang mundo.. it’s just being good in shifting from one to another. weheheh! sarap mag-comment!!

  31. mario said on 01-04-2010

    @v: hehehe! tnx sa reply. actuali, hndi ako pwdeng mabuhay ng gurl LANG ang nasa paligid ko. hndi rin pwedeng boy LANG. how i wish i could choose ONLY one. but i could not. kelangan ko both. i think this is the very reason why bi’s like me don’t want to come out. pag nag out, babush na sa magagandang chix eh kelangan ko din un.. hndi din pwedeng gurl na lng kaya? kc nga kelangan ko din boyz.. heheh. gulo no?. sorry, ganun puh talaga ako!! and i believe marami kami.. woooshoo!!

  32. v said on 01-04-2010

    @mario: ok… sige na… may BI na sa mundo…. if u want to be classified as one then I support u all the way… =) yung point ko lang is parang hindi naman talga sila bisexual kasi they like men more than women naman talga… feeling ko kelangan lang may iharap sila na girlfriend sa madla para di sila pag-isipan na bading…. =) diba? tingin ko lang ha… i can be wrong… so feel free to correct and enlighten me…

  33. bar said on 01-04-2010

    @mario: i agree. im with a girl and a guy (and he’s married)

  34. Friey said on 01-04-2010

    Actually, there is such a thing as being bisexual. Odd as it may seem, guys who like men and women abound and there are the only ones who can decipher their own psyche. The question that I always ask them is until when are you going to to swing both ways? But I never got an answer.

    I’ve been partial to bisexuals after being deceived by them. Either they end up with women or simply play around with other men. It’s quite risky to get involved with a bisexual man because he checks out both sexes and that’s double whammy for the faint-hearted.

    So I’m not really sure about getting involved with bisexual men. But I will definitely stay away from them because of my traumatic experience with them.

    I think Nico’s gay, not bisexual. His story is parallel with my godfather who’s gay but chose to marry and have kids. He’s still committed and sticks to it. He opted not to get involved (and fall in love) with men because it’s his choice.

    Again, my two cents is be careful when getting involved with bisexual men (or actually, any kind of man for that matter). “Do not invest your heart right away. Proceed slowly.”

  35. mario said on 01-04-2010

    @ all: bkt ba ipagpipilitan na wlang bi? eh meron nga! kami un.. kahit anung studies pa gawin ng mga eksperto, heto lng kami. enjoying and hurting? on both worlds!
    @10: “coz both worlds are filled with issues”-means meron ngang both worlds.. hehehe!!

  36. v said on 01-04-2010

    @anonymous: well… sorry for leading the conversation to the wrong direction… nico is right… they dont really enjoy both worlds…. coz both worlds are filled with issues…. but it comes with being part of the rainbow community… so i think there is actually no way out….. in the process… u will really hurt people… at times unintentioanally…. but that is because all decisions-made will really have an impact on other peoples lives…. so u just need to stand for what u think is right… and be prepared to face its aftermath…. =)

  37. pj said on 01-04-2010

    guys…..

    according to studies….

    there is no such thing as bi-men..

    you just have to choose whether or not you want to be gay or go straight…

    they say you cant serve two masters…..

    either you choose to be gay or go straight..

    gets?….

  38. yellow said on 31-03-2010

    may mga bi. I’m not. pero meron! meron!

  39. Joe said on 31-03-2010

    according to Ms. Samantha Jones there’s no such thing as a bisexual. If you’re straight you’re straight if you’re gay you’re gay. And she is a trysexual..

  40. anonymous said on 31-03-2010

    ladies,
    youre going out of the topic…
    what Nico is saying is that… Bisexsual guys don’t really get to have the best of both world… Contrary to the common nototion…
    its not about being gay or bi…
    its about the dilemma of being one…
    malinaw ba mga sis?

  41. helios said on 31-03-2010

    I’m sorry Migs but I see quite a disconnect between the premise and the content here. While I believe that there are people who could genuinely swing both ways, I think that Nico (is it?) may not really be just bisexual anymore. The post points out his current relationship with another guy, and what he has with his wife – as I see it – has become a mere financial obligation and, yes, friendship. Nothing, whatsoever clearly divulges how Nico could be bisexual. We all know that when, at a certain point, a guy’s attraction with the opposite sex wanes and is completely shifted to an attraction with another guy then that’s where one draws the line between bisexuality and being totally gay.

  42. lostsoul said on 31-03-2010

    @mario, i agree..

  43. mario said on 31-03-2010

    @v and brusko: no. im bi. i like both men and women alike. bisex tawag dun. and im bisexual and not confused!

  44. brusko said on 31-03-2010

    I kinda agree with V…bi man are gay, they’re just confused or haven’t accepted who they really are.

  45. v said on 31-03-2010

    Correct me if I’m wrong…. But I think that there is no such thing as bisexuals… I think that it’s either u are gay or straight….

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