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Good day Migs. I’ve been an avid fan of your site since I first encountered it years ago. Just call me Oreo. I’ve decided to write to you because I know in many ways, you and the other readers could help me.

My problem began a month ago. I was supposed to be graduating this April but that’s not going to happen thanks to the one subject that I flunked. It really hit me hard to know that unlucky fate of mine and I got depressed. You see, I’ve always been this overachiever who is used to get things go in the way I want. What depressed me more was knowing that my family was expectant and even arranged a European tour as a graduation gift. You know the feeling that you have no face to show to the world? That’s how I felt. Since I don’t have anything to do, I wasted my time in front of the internet. And that just started my real problem right now.

I was a very conservative gay guy and I was never a fan of gay dating and social networking sites because I know that most guys there are only up for sex. But then I decided to try entering and joining them. Since I look like this some actor (as a lot of people say), I got a lot of messages from guys who took notice. Eventually, I responded. As I have expected, all of their intentions lead to asking me if I’m available for sex and surprisingly, I’d say yes. You’re right about about what you’re thinking about what I have become right now. I’ve become a slut. I have topped a lot and bottomed a few. I’ve got a hectic schedule for guys who’d like to have a taste. If I was a whore, I would have made a great sum of money. It made me forget my broken dream of graduating on time and made me feel happy. Then I began feeling used. The worst part is I’m beginning to like the feeling of being used. I know I am troubled but I just don’t know how to deal with it. -Oreo

* * *

Dear MGG readers — would you mind sharing your thoughts to our dear friend Oreo? I’m still jetlagged and a bit sick from that 12-hour flight from Manila to San Francisco. So please be Migs for now and share your thoughts to Oreo. Thank you!

Comments (34)

  1. pustiso said on 02-05-2012

    oryow.. oryow.. oryowww

    taga Makati ka ba? ang kati mo eh.. parang hadhad

    tapusin mo muna pag-aaral bago kumerengkeng!

    sa tingin ko, may sakit ka na.. pede sa utak o/at sa katawan.

    huwag mong gawing dahilan ang mga problema mo, aminin mo sa sarili mo na talagang malandi ka at hayuk sa laman. ang problema mo talaga ay yung pagiging manyakis mo. yan ang tutukan mo.

    MALASWA!

  2. oliver said on 01-05-2012

    ok lang yan lahat tayo puta sa sex..coping takes time but u will soon..

  3. metoto said on 13-08-2010

    tapusin mo dude study mo… ok lang, past na lahat ng yan… and you enjoy it naman… yan kasi ang side-effect pagpinipigilan mo ang isang bagay na gusto mo. nung i-try mo na-addict kana. at para bagang ginawa mong alak ang sex makalimutan mo lang problem mo… do the right thing dude… mahirap pero masarap at maganda ang kalalabasan…

  4. geek-o said on 07-07-2010

    i don’t know why but i think it boils down to your low self-esteem that started when you found out that you won’t be graduating on time as planned. you have diverted your attention to some other things (on this case being a slut) and fourtunate for you it worked, you felt happy and i dunno, somehow contented? and drove away the thoughts of graduation for a while. You averted the problem instead of facing it. in the long run, if you would not stop that, i think you know it could be your downfall.

    counseling would be a great help but i think our culture here in the philippines renders it taboo so i suggest you talk to somebody you can trust and let him/her help you whnever you feel the urges to do slutty things. but in the end, you and only you can really help yourself, so you better get to start thinking of what lies before you.

  5. Doodles said on 14-05-2010

    Always be responsible with whatever you do. Think twice before doing something. Be sure you enjoy what you do. Never regret what you did.

    It’s great to travel to Europe so why not also divert some of your efforts in hooking up to studying so you can graduate in the coming semester?

    *smiles* Mark

  6. ram said on 26-04-2010

    magdasal ka sa personal God mo.

  7. mingmeows said on 26-04-2010

    hayaan muna nating patawarin ang sarili. it’s hard to move on if we keep on harbor hate feelings.

    about how to get away with being a whore? simple. don’t visit that site. turn off your computer. if someone’s bugging you on the cellphone, throw it away-joke! just change your sim na lang. perhaps you need a friend to talk to. we’re here.

  8. cody said on 25-04-2010

    as they say: Fuck responsibly.

  9. Choirboy said on 24-04-2010

    Hi Oreo. Pwedeng pagamit? Kthx. Jeje.

  10. gelo said on 24-04-2010

    Hi Oreo!

    It’s good that you are able to share this because it helps in your emotional healing.

    I can understand na siguro nagawa mo yung mga bagay na iyon to numb the pain and disappointment you feel inside. Being always on top and suddenly finding yourself down really hurts big time.

    I hope you can find consolation to the fact that life is not always like that. There are low moments, failures, trials, and disappointments. These are part of life. Failure is not a person; it’s an event…which means you can rise up again anytime.

    The sooner you can stop your sexual adventures, the better. It’s not going to help you solve the problem.

    You still have lots of things going on for you so take advantage of it, start a new life, and focus on your dreams. God loves you still. There is hope and redemption in Him.

    God bless.

  11. Hi-Ro said on 24-04-2010

    Dude, you’re not feeling used. You’re feeling empty.

    You are filling the temporary void in your life with something that you haven’t done in the past, so it doesn’t patch the hole. It really won’t add up. And it messes you up.

    You simply have to learn to manage that inner devil in you, and you’re good to go. 😉

  12. helios said on 24-04-2010

    If I had all the blessings you have I would’ve gone very very far by now in my chosen field (without necessarily having undergone that which you are going through at the moment). I am wondering though what that one subject you flunked was and how that had even been possible since you claim you are an overachiever. Then again, you have an option to always rise and redeem yourself from this tiny bit of a downfall and the power to draw fate’s favor back to your side once more. I believe – as several others had previously written here – that you’d be able to get past this phase you are in now. I pray however, that you snap out of it before it would have become difficult, if not entirely impossible, for you to recognize the person you had morphed into. You are smart and aware enough to admit that you are troubled, therefore it is not a remote possibility that you would know how to deal with it … if only you allow yourself to search your own being deep within. All the best, Oreo.

  13. wonderful2010 said on 23-04-2010

    You have to cosider your self lucky. A gay guy with good looks, well to do family, why not finish your studies and make your parents happy ?Delete your social networking account, you can fuck around anytime one to sawa. anjan lang yan, the most important is finish your degree and make your parents be proud of you, then be gay forever and ever

  14. Sai said on 23-04-2010

    Dear Oreo,

    If your my korean ex-bf, then your getting unlucky with your life because I cursed you from the depths of hell.

    Otherwise, then I think you should just STOP! Because I know you already know what’s right and wrong. And since you feel like your being used, then you yourself are telling yourself to stop. You might be doing all of these because you think you’d find someone special if you have sex with them. But honestly, you have to through a whole hell lot more. You gotta date him, know about his background, and search your very soul if you truly like him. Oh and you gotta know if he like’s you as well. He should love you, not make you his personal sex toy. There will be bad times, crappy times, happy times, times when you want to kill each other, but if he truly loves you he’ll stay with you.

    Hope it helps,

    Sai

  15. maccallister said on 23-04-2010

    there is nothing right about being a slut!LOL, you will lose self respect….

    be a responsible gay guy and do what is right,find your own guy to love and have sex with,or atleast limit sex once a day LOL!

  16. Winterking said on 23-04-2010

    just do it in moderation and pracitce safe sex. choose your ” client” wisely

    Good luck

  17. imladris said on 23-04-2010

    I don’t really see anything wrong about being a manwhore, is there?

  18. soltero said on 23-04-2010

    you are not being used bcoz you are a willing participant and obviously u also enjoy the sex. tama si dzerei,what ur experiencing is probably “guilt”. sex is awesome but when u prioritize it over more important matters like ur education, then houston we have a problem.

    this coming from a fellow slut lols.always be safe and goodluck!

  19. dzerei said on 23-04-2010

    Hi Oreo,

    You are indeed in a very difficult situation. Sometimes when we encounter failures and frustrations in life, the tendency to blame oneself is always there. The worse thing is, when we become consumed in extreme guilt. This guilt can lead us to make self-defeating choices that will further our feelings of worthlessness and despair. Since you have been an overachiever, a failure from an academic endeavor can be a real challenge. I hope you realize that this failure does not define you as a person, neither does it destroy your long reputation of excellence. It may be hard to deal with the fact that you encountered this situation of not meeting your goal on the expected time, but as everything in life is a process, there will be ‘gains’ in our perceived ‘losses’. I personally believe that when you give yourself a chance to look back to the amazing things that you’ve done in the past and how you were able to conquer the challenges that came your way, you will see yourself as the resilient and valuable person that you have always been and re-claim the self-esteem and self-image that you have temporarily lost. When you deal with your inner-self and find continuity in your current life situation, I have a high hope that you will less and less allow other people to carelessly use you and your own actions to continually hurt one’s self.

  20. sechilavon said on 23-04-2010

    well my advice for you Oreo is that try to at least get a grip of yourself and CONTROL…i know it’s difficult to do but there’s nothing you can do if you’re really determined to do it…second, you mentioned on your letter that you’re supposed to graduate this April but flunked on 1 of your subjects…try to divert yourself into solving that problem of yours then maybe that would help you to little by little stop your obsession…as for now, try to always be SAFE on having sex with other guys…ok?

  21. killersmile said on 23-04-2010

    1) Delete your online accounts
    2) Enroll now and finish your course
    3) Go to Europe
    4) Get a job
    5) Fuck people you like

  22. drei said on 22-04-2010

    Hi Oreo,

    Well, in the first place, you tried joining gay social networking sites even though you are not a fan. The best solution is to delete your account. Also, it would be best to finish your studies first before hooking up with someone and having an account might even get you distracted while finishing your studies. Focus on your studies first. Don’t be selfish, think of your family. Atleast by graduating, you’ve made them happy. You’re old enough and i think you can make the right decisions. It’s your choice. Hope this helps 🙂

  23. libit said on 22-04-2010

    pare, tapusin mo pag-aaral mo. there’s no worse thing than being bading AND undergrad. you are going to regret being born.

  24. Wilberchie said on 22-04-2010

    If your happy. then its fine. If you are being problematic about it, then there is something wrong then.

  25. :) said on 22-04-2010

    With his name being Oreo… and he being used, I thought of the Ookie Cookie. That makes sense, right?

  26. francis said on 22-04-2010

    your “problem” is not a problem at all..just be responsible to all your actions..

  27. Just call me Z said on 22-04-2010

    Pareho lang tayo Oreo.. Naging ganyan din ako.. Pero natigilan nung natuto ako mag mahal.. Nakaka asar kasi pakiramdam ko carinderia ako na bukas sa kung sino gusto kumain..

    Try mo pumasok sa isang seryosong relasyon 🙂

  28. broken_Heart said on 22-04-2010

    Thats completely fine!

  29. Jasper Cortez said on 22-04-2010

    magtapos ka muna sa pag-aaral Oreo para magkaroon ka ng panibagong source of pride ang self respect. I also had a lot of sexual encounters while I was in college but it was only second to my studies. I graduated pa nga with honors.Pang parelax ko lang yon.

  30. dalumat said on 22-04-2010

    i don’t understand the problem. please explain what you mean by feeling used. as in tired? or taken advantage of?

  31. guyrony said on 22-04-2010

    At your age, the world is your oyster and explicit as it may seem but the libido level is really surging high. That’s normal and with your physical asset you might as well be paid for your services.

    Not to worry, it will pass, you will see deeper meaning, you will encounter more prominent experiences.

    As for now, enjoy it but reminder when having multiple partners: play safe, dude.

    And oh yeah, the feeling of being used? Come on, there will always be that mutuality between partners when it comes to sex so it’s not really a one way thing as what you’re feeling. Rethink what makes you feel USED.

    🙂

  32. toto said on 22-04-2010

    Being a “slut” while studying could be fun, provided you are “wise” and know well the risks of what you are doing.
    .
    In other words, five years later, can you recall with fond memories your years of “debauchery”?
    .
    🙂

  33. aeriol said on 22-04-2010

    hala,, labanan mu.. hihihi

  34. prince said on 22-04-2010

    hi oreo! i do hope that you practice “safe” sex everytime you’re “busy” doing you conquests.

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