I’ve been a frequent visitor of your site and I noticed that it become a good online support group. Many people are more than grateful about this. We have seen many straight-acting gays sharing their experiences and agonies through this blog. Yet I haven’t read one coming from an obviously effeminate “sexual minority” like me. Regardless, please allow me to share my own experience, and raise my own questions as well. For the sake of privacy, I would prefer to be called Shane by this website’s community.
There was no encouragement or discouragement from my parents when they learned about my sexual orientation. Alam na nila habang lumalaki ako and they managed to gradually accept me for who I am. So, I never bothered hiding my identity from my family. Being effeminate has never been an issue for them I guess, but cross-dressing is. Kaya as a result, I have never been confident in cross-dressing all these years.
I used to think that those people living in the closet must be very pathetic for not being brave enough to stand up for their identity. However, my college years proved to be an enlightening venue, especially after reading about Alfred Kinsey’s theoretical scale for measuring sexual orientation.
Despite what I’ve learned, there are still questions whose answers have eluded me all this time. They tend to focus on the matter regarding straight-acting gays and the closeted ones. As it turned out, my openly-gay friends can’t provide a sensible answer, kasi sila mismo hindi dumaan sa ganitong phase. Maybe this website’s community can provide insights.
– Why are there more people saying that there is a perceived increase in the number of straight-acting gays, and that even effeminate ones are being “converted”? Is this just merely a perception?
– What possible factors contribute to a closet gay’s decision to remain hidden? Is it family, his/her own judgment that being openly gay is awful, etc?
– What do we have to consider before we can conclude na bakla ang isang guy dahil pumatol siya sa isang bakla (straight-acting, effeminate, whatever)?
– Why is there a mutual animosity between the effeminate gays and the straight-acting ones? This is particularly true in some online community. Bakit parang mahirap tanggapin na maraming kulay ang rainbow?
– In the Philippine setting, can an effeminate gay find a true romantic involvement (yung tipong hindi lang pineperahan)? Personally, this uncertainty regarding the other person’s possible underlying intentions is a major factor why I am romantically challenged until now (I am not a risk-taker). 😀
I am not sure if these questions have been asked before, pero sana you can find time to provide your own opinion or let the website’s community share theirs.