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Watch the full video. Beautiful.

“Testimony” Lyrics

TESTIMONY By Stephen Schwartz

Texts derived from texts for the “It Gets Better” project

Written for the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus performance

I don’t want to be like this

I don’t want to be who I am

Every day that I don’t change

I blame myself

I am not trying hard enough

(I don’t want to be like this)

I am not trying hard enough

(I don’t want to be how I am)

When they find out

No one will love me

I’ll lose my family

And all of my friends

(I’m trapped like a fish with a hook in its mouth)

I am impersonating the person I show as me

I’m an imposter

I am a spy behind enemy lines

I pack my feelings so deep inside me

They turn to concrete

(I don’t want to be like this

I don’t want to be who I, how I, what I am)

Every night I ask God to end my life

(I am an abomination)


God take this away or take me away …

I don’t want to be like this …

I don’t want to be who I am, I don’t want to be how I am, Idon’t want to be what I am,

I don’twant to be anymore …

Today I’m going to hang myself, Today I’m going to slit mywrists, Today I’m going to

jump off my building …

I’m trapped, I’m stuck, I’m trapped …

Take me away, take me away, take me away …

2. Hang in, hang on

Wait just a little longer

Hang in, hang on

I know it now, I know it now

If I had made myself not exist

There is so much that I would have missed …

I would have missed

So many travels and adventures

More wonders than I knew could be

So many friends

With jokes and secrets, not to mention

The joy of living in authenticity

Sometimes I cry

Life can still be hard

But there’s no part of me

Still crying: “Hide me”

I would have missed

The chance to sing out like this

With people I love beside me

I have been brave

I grew, and so did those around me

And now look what a life I’ve earned

It gets more than better

It gets amazing and astounding

If I could reach my past, I’d tell him what I’ve learned:

I was more loved

Than I dared to know

There were open arms

I could not see

And when I die

And when it’s my time to go

I want to come back as me

I want to come back as me.

Comments (3)

  1. brad_the_bland said on 17-04-2012

    “refreshing” post migz! I like the fact that this features the real faces of gay men…very genuine…very “normal”. A welcome twist to the cookie cutter images we see around that ironically strengthen stereotypes of us. Thanks for this post…ur going back to your thoughtful threads that inspire true action…

  2. el toro bumingo said on 08-04-2012

    Wow! Gregorian chant :)

  3. Endiku Gilgamesh said on 07-04-2012


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