Manila Gay Guy
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Hi Migs. I really want to have your opinion on this. I’m getting desperate.

I’m a college kid in a university around Manila. There’s this guy(When was there not?) with whom I MAY have developed feelings for.. and that’s exactly the problem.

To tell you the truth, he was the first person I’ve ever had sex of any kind with. I’m 19 and it happened quite recently. He’s straight, sort of a womanizer but he actually doesn’t deserve the credit he gets cause he’s not the most handsome guy in school..nor the smartest. For the past three years or so, we had developed sexual tension between each other. He always showed intention to subtly seduce me since we started texting, when he just transferred.

This year, we sort of started seeing each other more, but still in the company of our mutual friends. Until then, we never really talked or seen each other since last summer. Things started off again from that point. We texted more and he came to visit the house more often whenever I had classmates over. They knew each other, you see, but he wasnt a classmate of mine. We never get to converse well personally though. I’m a naturally silent person and I feel that sometimes I have to resort to irrelevant topics to get us start talking. He’s very amusing in texts though. very. We texted each other as long as someone replied– so that was all the time.

Then it got to the point that he was comfortable enough to visit me alone. He came to sleepover a few times and then we had breakfast. He seemed to like to crash at other people’s pads. This one time, he said he badly needed a back massage. I obliged and let him come over after his part time job. He used my computer for a while when he arrived while I read a book. It was kind of awkward for both of us to start thinking about that massage, which was actually the reason why he came. I didnt bother to make mention of it until he did a few times. I was dead silent reading my book and he didnt like that. Eventually, when he was finished browsing his facebook for his hot girl friends, who he often points out to me while saying his thoughts aloud, we went to my room to give him that massage. It was getting pretty late then so I agreed.

It started out innocent, I swear. But then I kind of knew at the back of my head what he wanted to happen with this plan of his. So I played with it a bit..made it kind of sensual. And I could hear him enjoying it. He had his shirt on while this went on.Eventually I asked him if he’d rather have it off if the texture of the cloth was bothering him. When he said it was alright, I slipped my hand there and there a bit. Haha. Then he asked to stop now and then because apparently he was having a boner and had to fix it up. He wasnt ashamed to say it. I was sitting on his ass while I gave him that massage kasi. I got tired and then we went to sleep. He offered to have me sleep beside him instead of the pull-out. I was hesitant like the shy little boy I am but then I obliged. He hugged me real tight for the rest of the evening, and I could hear his breathing behind my neck, deep and warm. He held me tighter each minute. I couldnt sleep. Neither could he. It was the farthest I’ve gone to anything like that. Eventually, things happened. Magical things. Things that made me seem like a pro, despite it being my first time.. I say that because he said “I love you” from time to time when I lustfully pleasured him member.. of course he didnt mean that. He just liked what I was doing..immensely.(he also said “I’ve always heard that boys were better than girls”.)

When we woke up, he came up to my side of the bed, begging for more. I loved that. After that incident, it happened again. But he didn’t sleep over. He wanted a quickie that he so long could not wait for since the first time. He had to go somewhere else after. I feel like I did something wrong after that.. after he left..or maybe even before. And I was feeling so satisfied and happy with myself for finally being in a relationship even it wasnt officially the romantic kind. I say “officially” because he’s really sweet behind those texts saying he wanted to pound me. I never let him yet, by the way. And he even asked me once if I wanted to be with him. like a couple. I didnt know what to say so I just swallowed his dick. Hahaha.

The problem now is that after that night, he never texted me again after I texted him a safe trip home. I was faithful, thinking he was just busy and I was right. He texted me after a few weeks, apologizing cause he had a lot of things to take care of. It seemed genuine and sincere, and I always knew he wasnt the type to know how to manage work so I kind of felt okay. After that though, nothing again. Just a few texts or missed calls late at night, incidentally when I was already sleeping. Things cut off from there.

I deleted his contact a few weeks ago. I did this to keep me from texting him when he never replied. It all seemed to familiar to me especially with him. This happened before, actually. The last year before summer ended, he kept offering to have us do things sexually and I gave in. We had sexts from time to time. Then after a while, he texted less often then said sorry for being the horny asshole that he was. If that wasn’t a “goodbye”, I dont know what is. He made it very clear to me that he wanted to stop what we were doing.

So now, I feel really bad to the point that I’m getting depressed most of the time. I kind of have these psychological relapses now and then. He doesnt know that. I plan to tell him. He just doesnt respond to me. I cant talk to him in personal cause I always get mad when I see him. When he sees me, though, he acknowledges my presence all the time. When I attempt to just slip by him, he reaches for my arm and smiles. Then I keep walking. It’s been like that since the first time I knew him. He’s sweet for still doing that. But it really is cruel, still.

The only time we got to talk recently was when he suddenly wanted to see me and check my phone. Apparently, it somehow slipped out that we were doing suspicious things. He suspects that someone read my phone inbox..perhaps when I was drunk with my friends. He seemed really worried. But then just told me off saying “mag ingat ka nalang next time. sige, ingat ka pauwi”.

And then absolutely no more texts from him since then. That was about two weeks ago. Granted that finals week is approcahing, I really cant blame him for being busy. But he really is avoiding me. Im sure of it. Right now, it doesnt bother him anymore that I dont greet him at the hallways. That always seemed to work. Im getting really desperate because I really think theres a big chance that I wont be back in the same school the next sem. It’s frustrating and totally depressing. What should I do?

-Jerome

* * *

Dear Jerome,

Find a way to move on.

I’ll let my readers say more.

Love and light,

Migs

Comments (97)

  1. Bipolar Boy said on 17-04-2017

    Wow. And I bump into this article after almost 5 years since it has been posted. And ironically, it’s somehow relatable to my current situation. The only differences are, I’m falling into this straight acting gay masseur after we had sex several times, and yes, it’s been reciprocated. No money involved. And I came to the point to believe that we’re not just having sex, but we’re already making love. But sadly, this guy is so complicated. I know he likes what we have, but he doesn’t want to keep it for so long because of so many things. And yet here I am, choosing to fucking stay even this doesn’t seem to last. Plus the letter sender is only 18, and me, I’m already 28. Wow. Just wow.

  2. BILL PRINCE said on 14-04-2014

    All you need yo do is just to ignore him and move on.There are lots of guys out there looking fir true love and i ma one of them.oops my bad.dellaray77@yahoo.com

  3. Ryan said on 21-10-2013

    ๐Ÿ˜† Loved reading your blog. You are cute as hell! Just sayin’

  4. babexx said on 16-10-2013

    i just think you’re wayyyy to young for love. I’m 18 and like nah, I’d stick with flings. oh well. I’d be like, you don’t text me? fine. I’f find someone else. #yolo babe. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. brian_thebarboy@yahoo.com said on 10-11-2012

    hmpt! it is so really awful depressing and frustrating! but mahmen life must go on! i know what you are experiencing right now because it just like that happen to me also! the thing that you can do now is move on! next time don’t pus 100% of your heart in every thing you do!!!

  6. bleedgreen said on 04-11-2012

    Somewhere in taft ba ‘to? hihi. I study there too.

  7. R said on 28-10-2012

    Hi Jerome, I don’t know you but I think you’re a good kid. Your situation reminds me of the quotation “we accept the love we think we deserve.”

    I don’t think it’s healthy that you stay in touch with the guy, mainly because it’s clear that he doesn’t like you as much as you like him. Or even if he does, he’s not ready to admit that to himself. And it boils down to this: you deserve better.

    You deserve a guy who will treat you right, who will make love to you–not just have sex. Someone who will actually stay after he ejaculates. Someone who can be your companion rather than a mere fuck buddy.

    It might sound too idealistic, but I don’t want you to give up on love. You’re 19 and in college. You’re too young to mess around with guys, hearts, and whatnot. And the danger with that is that if you keep doing it often, you might end up fucking yourself by turning into some cold-hearted sex machine.

    So as much as this might not be the answer you’re looking for: cut him off from your life. Weeds should be cut from their roots to let the flower bloom. If you continue to give into his erratic horniness, you’ll end up hurting yourself.

    Go for the guy who wants you as much as you want him. It might be hard to find that person, but believe that he’s out there.

    • Closer2Fame said on 29-10-2012

      รขโ‚ฌล“we accept the love we think we deserve.รขโ‚ฌย

      I totally agree!
      Heard that from “The perks of being a wallflower.”Loved the movie.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. merchant said on 27-10-2012

    been there done that… if i may say, each PLU goes to this stage… discovery stage. sometimes occur by the age of 18-25 i guess. everything is unfolding like what a fairy tale does and then shit happens at the end. you have to get over this. stay happy bro…

    • Al said on 02-11-2012

      i agree. happened to me at 18. hirap mag move on! parang dumating pa sa point na nakakabaliw. to jerome, sumama ka sa mga kaibigan mo namadalas, nakakatulong yun. its ok to be sad, pero hindi naman sobrang tagal dapat sad ka. makaka move on ka din dyan. ๐Ÿ™‚ smile lang lagi pag naiisip mo sya. tsaka better na din na wag mo na sya kausapin.

  9. WL said on 27-10-2012

    When I was in college I never thought so much about this things.

    (siguro dahil sa matalino ako an I manage things well) ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    hindi ako noocuppy ng mga ganitong klaseng thoughts, I can describe it as just “feeding my curiousity” and once I’m full I’ll stop.

    Ngayon, I just hope you pass your exam. and if not blame your self. ๐Ÿ™„

    xoxo
    “SHUT UP BITCH KA LANG, AKO SUPER BITCH”

  10. Joshua said on 27-10-2012

    Yup! Move on ka na lang. Bata ka pa at marami ka pang makikilala. Marami ka pang pagsubok na pag dadaanan.

  11. bkinney said on 23-10-2012

    It will always be hard to forget the person who took away your virginity. But you’ll get over it. And expect that there will be more guys who’ll CUM and GO just like that.

  12. Wilberchie said on 23-10-2012

    Don’t take someone seriously if he is not serious. If he’s aloof, then you shouldn’t give damn. There so much fishes in the sea. Mangisda ka lang. Dadating din si Mr. Right na pagbibigyan mo ng “flower” mo. Love, kisses, and hugs!

  13. JUJU said on 22-10-2012

    Focus muna sa pag-aaral and then improve ang sarili. Kasi you deserve someone better. Yung masusukkilan lahat ng nararamdaman mo. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Nasubukan ko na rin ang umasa-asa. Pero nganga.

  14. RP said on 20-10-2012

    That’s similar to my story. WTF. Ikaw ba ako? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Pero sa situation ko nga kasi malaya na siya at malayo na ako. Hindi na kame nag chachat o nag tetext. Barkada kasi kame tapos parang iniiwasan na niya ako dahil ayaw na daw niya mangyari ang nagyari na kasi nga may syota siya. Pero paminsan lang siya nag papakita na online siya sa fb kasi ayaw niya na mag pm ako sakanya. Pero para saakin ngayon binabale wala ko na lang kahit ang sakit aminin na ayaw na niya. Ang hirap mag tago ng pagkatao sa totoo lang kasi ayaw mo masira ang imahe mo sa mga kaibigan at pamilya mo. naintindihan ko naman siya at ayun hindi na kame nag uusapan ever since. Pero siguro pag mag oovernight kame ngayon darating na bakasyon na andun siya siguro ma tetemp yun siya na gagawin namin ulit yun kasi dati ako parati ang lumalapit sa kanya para gawin pero sa huli siya na ang nangunguna saakin, siguro na miss lang niya ang gawain namin, o siguro naman libog lang talaga siya. kaya ayun. Sana parehos tayo makakapag moove on sa buhay.

  15. maureen said on 18-10-2012

    This is kinda similar to the prev story, but the only diffrenz was I think w/this affair there’s a feeling that’s involved. I had an FB(str8) too but he never said D word ILY to me and we’d been 2gdr for a while. But unlike yours, he reciprocated… could it be genuine or just a compliment for d sexual favor uv done for him,at least my response diba?! Gaya ng cnbi mo aftr sex nag ILY xa sayo! I gez ur reltnshp did not materialize bec as what I’v read u didnt CARE TO ADMIT. Sakin lang give him 1 more chance in order for u to freely xprez ur feelings though his unsure of HIS maybe bcoz he’s a BI.

  16. iamjhian said on 18-10-2012

    jerome ur stories its like all stories of gays na umasa at umasa lang… Lets face it its all just LUST and nothing more.

    MOVE ON and LET GO!!!

  17. Bb. Melanie said on 18-10-2012

    Jerome, sana hindi maapektuhan ng experience na ‘to ang pag-aaral mo. You might regret it kapag lumipat ka. This is just one phase in your life na kapag naka get-over ka, tatawanan mo na lang pero may aral kang natutunan. I know it’s hard right now kasi bago pa lang pero eventually, lilipas din. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. fritz said on 17-10-2012

    ok lang yan, marami pa dyan mas malaki, hot, wild.. ganun lng talaga ika nga ‘easy cum and easy guh!! ‘ :mrgreen:

  19. Red_ said on 16-10-2012

    Interesting story. Ang masasabi ko lang, bata ka pa, marami ka pang matututunan at makikilala. Enjoy lang muna. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. tonydgorgeous said on 16-10-2012

    move on…you’ve only just begun…there will be others and you will experience more happiness, pain, confusion, etc… as you journey.

  21. Justin 09279267006 said on 15-10-2012

    @Jerome, listen to Closer2Fame and Ulon, they seem to know there stuff very well. I’m so impressed with their advices. You are stilol young and so many more experieces will happen to you. Just take it one stride at a time…
    Personally I think he just wanted an FBuddy and nothing deeper than that. We’ve all had them. That’s why it’s fun to be young and to hook up when younger boys! They are still boys at that point and our being gay, we wanna hook boys…not really gays so moch! Hehe! call me if you wanna talk, Im here 09279267006 anytime! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. iskolar said on 13-10-2012

    oh

  23. iskolar said on 13-10-2012

    Ang landi mo. Pinag aaral ka ng magulang mo kaya naman pag aaral ang unahin mo. Saka na yang pag lalandi kung kaya mo na ang sarili mo. Hindi mo ba na isip na kasalanan mo yan? Tapos hihingi ka ng advice sa iba. It is only yourself who can jelp you out, not anyone else. Think before you act!

  24. gmc210 said on 13-10-2012

    In my own opinion, i think you should have been more open and true to your feelings, and tell him what and how exactly did/do you feel. Nagpaparamdam na pala yung tao kaso parang di mo pinapansin, even your response, ayaw mo sagutin yung tanong nya, and you avoid his being sweet and romantic.
    You did mention that you are shy and ashamed. Well, nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. If you still like him now, kamustahin mo sya. maybe you could text him and ask him out, so you could talk it over, bring back the old times and clear things out?
    If you do not want, then just move on. Like what some readers here said, there are more important things to prioritize like your study, focus on that.

  25. Jonas said on 13-10-2012

    Dude, move on. The part where it seems like he still wants you? The part where he does sweet things? It’s just him wanting you back – AS A FRIEND. Guys are like that. Babae lang ang kaya talagang makipag-F.O. He misses his friend, and you are reading too much into it kaya you see it as being sweet.

    Oh, and so much for deleting his number. Para namang di mo memorize. hehe

    So yeah, yun na nga yun. Move on, but it’s up to you if you befriend him again – just set boundaries for yourself. Alin ba ang mas madali para sayo?

    Nga pala, sa mga depression depression na yan, it helps to read positive books, self-help, tipong ganun. Stop listening to sad songs din, you’ll tend to interpret the lyrics as if it was your life story. Gangnam style na lang. hehe

  26. kardo_14 said on 13-10-2012

    It’s one of those things that people say, you can’t move on until you let go of the past. Letting go is the easy part, it’s the moving on that’s painful. So sometimes we fight it, try and keep things the same. Things can’t stay the same though. At some point, you just have to let go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is, it’s the only way we grow.

    PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST BREAKING UP AND MOVING ON QUOTES I’VE EVER ENCOUNTERED. THI ONE ACTUALLY CAME FROM GREY’S ANATOMY.

  27. Lola said on 13-10-2012

    Ang hirap basahin…nahilo ako sa grammar

  28. Marko Lopez said on 12-10-2012

    being young will save you Jerome.. I waited for the right person to come, your soul mate will come too, not a sex mate

  29. edgeofglory said on 12-10-2012

    Sumakit ulo ko sa nagsulat. ang gulo.

  30. shellazaulda said on 12-10-2012

    I will not say MOVE ON because that’s the hardest thing to do but the last outlet that you can do……..cry the pain out loud wag ka mahihiya dahil nagmahal k ng totoo….

  31. hiraya said on 12-10-2012

    Jerome…
    Move on! the guy might be straight and he was just exploring things. That had happened to me before – we’ve been fubu until he found a girl.. The lesson here: don’t get attached too much – this is all about physical attraction nothing emotional! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  32. sam said on 12-10-2012

    jerome, just move on. madami pa jang iba. ๐Ÿ™‚

    this is for me, (indulging on the anonymity):

    move on from jerome. madami pa jang iba ๐Ÿ˜€

  33. aurorwizard said on 11-10-2012

    I feel you bro, I feel you.
    Ganyan din ako, pero worse pa sa akin since I never felt that my feelings were reciprocated.

    Just always remember that there are more important things in life and right now, studies mo ang important.

    Cheer up mate! Time heals wounds, I promise you that. Never give up! ๐Ÿ˜Ž

  34. archie said on 11-10-2012

    Question lang, Malaking factor ba yung pagpapa-bottom ? I mean, it involve the feelings na ba before you give it?

    • Closer2Fame said on 12-10-2012

      His situation could have gone worse if they had penetration… According to studies, bottoms tend to become more attached to their partners than tops because a man produces MORE “oxytocin” or “the bonding hormone” when they undergo a g-spot orgasm which is similar to what happens with girls. There are even times that some girls get so attached that they continually stalk their X-Bfs with the hope of getting back together… Hence the term “psycho-x-girlfriend”…

      • Audi said on 12-10-2012

        Dear Closer,
        i appreciate the information you mentioned in this thread,,,

        but i would appreciate it more if you can attached the empirical study you’ve read. this will allow me and the readers to get more information regarding the issue, thank you

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        Sorry for the late reply… I was busy yesterday… Anyway, I saw this info at ” The Doctors” Show at the lifestyle channel (The series is hosted by emergency room physician and former The Bachelor participant Travis Stork, a Vanderbilt University trained physician, who has appeared frequently on Dr. Phil, with pediatrician Jim Sears,[6] obstetrician/gynecologist Lisa Masterson, and plastic surgeon Andrew Ordon rounding out the discussion panel.[7] Incase anyone is wondering.. ๐Ÿ˜Ž )

      • Closer2Fame said on 14-10-2012

        Dude, check mo nalang online kung paano lumalabas ang oxytocin sa mga nilalabasan.. marami yan…

      • Aetoroa said on 12-10-2012

        Excuse me CLOSERTOFAME. Make your reference accurate. Oxytocin are hormones produced ONLY by GIRLS. It is responsible for uterine contraction. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        Male
        The Leydig cells in some species have also been shown to possess the biosynthetic machinery to manufacture testicular oxytocin de novo, to be specific, in rats (which can synthesize vitamin C endogenously), and in guinea pigs, which, like humans, require an exogenous source of vitamin C (ascorbate) in their diets.[84] -^ Kukucka Mark A, Misra Hara P (1992). “HPLC determination of an oxytocin-like peptide produced by isolated guinea pig Leydig cells: stimulation by ascorbate”. Arch. Androl. 29 (2): 185รขโ‚ฌโ€œ90. doi:10.3109/01485019208987723. PMID 1456839.

      • Closer2Fame said on 14-10-2012

        Talaga, “ONLY” by girls?! ๐Ÿ˜€

        Make your reference accurate.. Igoogle mo muna yan.. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • Sailormoon said on 12-10-2012

        @closer2fame nagmamarunong kasi ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        @Sailormoon

        Bakeeet?!.. nainsecure ka nanaman? hahaha ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        @Sailormoon

        Kaka check ko lang ng mga posts mo sa ibang thread..

        Bat ganun?.. puro bitterness mga comments mo?.. inapi ka ba ng mga magaganda nung bata ka?…

        Ganun ka ba ka panget at hindi mo masabi sa buong mundo na maganda ka?… bigla naman ako naawa..
        Mag-email ka kay migs para ma ilabas mo lahat ng sama ng loob mo… Pag usapan natin yan…

        Sorry pinatulan ko mga comments mo… hindi ko natiis.. Hahaha ๐Ÿ˜†

        Sing with me:

        “We are beautiful, no matter what they say.. words can’t bring us down..”(3X)

      • tutoy bird said on 13-10-2012

        vicente sotto III ikaw ba yan? ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        Si Vic Sotto ba yun?

      • tutoy bird said on 14-10-2012

        it’s tito

      • Closer2Fame said on 14-10-2012

        RH bill lang ang PEG?

      • tutoy bird said on 15-10-2012

        no, plagiarism. Hindi tayo nagkakaintindihan. Bangag ka siguro. Haha

      • Closer2Fame said on 15-10-2012

        @tutoy bird

        Thank you for noticing,

        plaร‚ยทgiaร‚ยทrismรขโ‚ฌโ€š รขโ‚ฌโ€š[pley-juh-riz-uhm, -jee-uh-riz-] Show IPA
        noun
        1.
        an act or instance of using or closely imitating the language and thoughts of another author without authorization and the representation of that author’s work as one’s own, as by not crediting the original author – http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/plagiarism

        My original statement has no legal requirement for authorization because it was a paraphrase quoted from a TV show which is a public source of information therefore it is far from the definitions of plagiarism. That is why I included a footnote/citation for my consecutive posts coming from online references.

        Good day!


        PS. I am perfectly sane the whole time. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • Closer2Fame said on 13-10-2012

        The relationship between oxytocin and human sexual response is unclear. At least two uncontrolled studies have found increases in plasma oxytocin at orgasm รขโ‚ฌโ€œ in both men and women.[16] -^ a b c Carmichael MS, Humbert R, Dixen J, Palmisano G, Greenleaf W, Davidson JM (January 1987). “Plasma oxytocin increases in the human sexual response”. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism 64 (1): 27รขโ‚ฌโ€œ31. doi:10.1210/jcem-64-1-27. PMID 3782434.

      • Johnny said on 14-10-2012

        I think you are referring to the B-Spot. It is stimulated during anal sex. A friend once told me “Masakit sa una, pero pag natikman mo, hahanap hanapin mo”.
        I once had this experience during a physical exam. The good doctor checked my anus. During the procedure, he inserted his index finger and touched a specific area. (I was lying sideways in a doctors bed as was told to relax and take a deep breath). I felt a tickle on the last part. The sensation was so fast I had an immediate erection. The procedure was quick but after that I clumsily pulled my underwear and shorts out of shame that I had an erection.

      • Johnny said on 14-10-2012

        Dapat dun sa taas ito nailagay na reply. Di naman kasi pwede mag drag.

      • Closer2Fame said on 14-10-2012

        “B-Spot”?! I love the term…

        Maybe the doctor looked hot that’s why you had an erection..Hahaha
        Is it possible he’s gay?..

        If that’s the situation.. I might say out loud… “Doc, don’t stop! more! more!”… or “Ohhh, could you insert something bigger?!”

        I wana be a doctor narin.. hahaha ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Johnny said on 15-10-2012

        The good doctor is average looker. He lingered in my mind though after that incident.

      • Closer2Fame said on 15-10-2012

        I told you the G-spot makes you “bond” with anyone when it’s stimulated…

      • Johnny said on 15-10-2012

        B-spot. I’m not a girl. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Closer2Fame said on 15-10-2012

        Guuuuurrrrlll, yes you are!!!! ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Johnny said on 15-10-2012

        Hahaha. I would have flushed had someone told me that in person.
        Anyway, do I hear Britney playing in the background. Slide tayo gurl, swooooshhhh.

      • Closer2Fame said on 15-10-2012

        Hahaha.. don’t worry .. It will never say anything like that in person… Hahahha

      • Closer2Fame said on 15-10-2012

        Hahaha.. don’t worry .. I will never say anything like that in person… Hahahha

      • Johnny said on 15-10-2012

        ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Audi said on 16-10-2012

        @Closer
        it appears that my request for the journal arcticle regarding the “bond” being created whenever two individuals engaged in anal sex solicited alot of comments and queries on your part. this proves the importance of attching the article/sit/url in the thread so as to have a good basis on our claims. i truly appreciate the information been readin in this thread.
        Hoping to have coffee tine with you closer.

      • Closer2Fame said on 17-10-2012

        @Audi

        Coffee time?… Sounds hot!hehehe ๐Ÿ™‚

        See you in the real world!

      • anthony said on 21-10-2012

        I must point out that in all of the studies you cited, none of the researchers tried or offered to explain a probable correlation between MALE oxytocin secretion and MALE attachment, specifically in a M-M relationship.

        Considering that the secretion of male oxytocin is currently being implicated in the faciliation of sperm transport, a mechanism present in both males in the above mentioned situation, how is it that you can conclude that the resulting [unproven increase in] attachment is a uniquely bottom experience?

        It must also be considered that oxytocin’s effect on the female sexual response, for example on the receptor binding of oxytocin in the VMN of the hypothalamus, is greatly modulated by estrogen – a hormone found more in females. It is therefore erroneous to conclude that the sexual experience and effectual attachments produced during sex will be the same for both a M-M relationship and a M-F relationship.

        Also, attachment is as much a construct of psychology as it is a product of neuroscience. Given that the roles, experiences, expectations and attributions [such as in a sexual experience] vary between males and females and even in LGBT relationships (as current researches suggest), i believe it may too quick to generalize that the same type and level of attachments may be effected.

        Your premise may be somewhat correct, but I think it’s too quick and too much to make such pronouncements.

        Sorry, just saying.

      • anthony said on 21-10-2012

        Hahaha, sorry, I think I overdid it quite a bit. And too lazy to put in studies and stuff, medyo basic naman eh.

        And yeah, students of Taft Universities! Awesome people right there.

      • Closer2Fame said on 21-10-2012

        Hohumm.. I said the bottom tend to produce more oxytocin than the top… Have you been fucked before?

      • Closer2Fame said on 21-10-2012

        I also didn’t say that it’s a unique experience for bottoms… touching and hugging makes anyone produce oxytocin in varying degrees.. taking Ecstasy makes you produce oxytocin… It’s not my fault that you don’t know about my sources… I suggest you try to make your own study and let’s see how it works for you. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • tutoy bird said on 22-10-2012

        ano po yun? :mrgreen:

      • Closer2Fame said on 22-10-2012

        @ Tutoy Bird

        It’s about being versatile.. ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Closer2Fame said on 22-10-2012

        Lastly, If you read the whole thread carefully, I did mention that I heard it on TV…

  35. Chester Nunez said on 11-10-2012

    Mahirap talaga when you fall to the wrong person. Alam mo naman na in the end ikaw pa rin ang talo but still emosyon pa rin ang nangibabaw, kaya tayo nasa ganitong sitwasyon..I feel for you Bro. Let’s move on, kahit masakit pilitin natin…god bless!

  36. eugene and mitch said on 11-10-2012

    its good thing to know that most guys here advised you to focus more on ur studies, easier said than done though.

    1st – at ur age, it is understandable to engage urself in an eluding yet deceiving puppy love. i suggest you continue learning the ropes of puppy love with some else this time.

    2nd – regardless how hopeful or desperate or optimistic u are about the two of u, stick to reality – he doesnt want it anymore, u’ve seen him moving away,do not pamper ur feelings with ur self-fomulated excuses like ‘its exam week’ etc.

    3rd – all separations are painful, regardless how you will handle it.

  37. Ulon said on 11-10-2012

    i think the guy only wants sex, no more no less. dahil nai-inlove kana nagiging complekado na, kaya umiiwas na sya. paghupa na ang lahat (parang bagyo lang ๐Ÿ˜€ ) text ka nya uli, he’s hoping na nakuha mo na ung mensahe (sex lang lahat iyon), kaso nahuhulog ka uli, kaya ayon parang paulit-ulit lang kayo.

    pagdating naman sa pag-iwas nya nung malaman nyang parang nababalita na kau, tinigil na nya ung usual na ginagawa nya (When I attempt to just slip by him, he reaches for my arm and smiles. ), pagme nakakita kasi, eh alam mona diba.

    so ang dapat mong gawin, hayaan mo na sya. alam kong mahirap gawin pero, kailangan, at mag-focus sa pag-aaral. ang pangit namang isipin na bumagsak ka dahil sa isang relasyong wala naman.

  38. buddy said on 11-10-2012

    move on! there’s a lot of fish in the ocean! DIFFERENT fish!

  39. Luke said on 11-10-2012

    It takes a certain level of maturity to realize that sex is just sex. Jerome might not yet be at that stage yet. Maybe he thinks that sex is always equal to wonderful things — romance, love, commitment, and what have you. It isn’t.

    I understand where he’s coming from, since this guy was his first. But surely, he’ll get to realize more through time.

    Jerome, good luck sa atin sa finals ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Ulon said on 11-10-2012

      (that sex is always equal to wonderful things รขโ‚ฌโ€ romance, love, commitment) a mind of an innocent person. why does the world have to destroy it… ๐Ÿ™

  40. Rants In Random said on 11-10-2012

    “Books first before boys”

    You cannot dwell into that situation just because you two had a good time and memories. Apparently, he is the one that got away. Our lives is a cycle of being fucked up and being happy. Just think of it as an app in your device. There is a time that Temple Run is so awesome that you couldn’t even sleep playing it but time comes that you become fed up.

    Keep Moving Forward

  41. not_paul said on 11-10-2012

    you’ll get over it in as much as many others did.

    ganyan talaga, lalo na kung first mo sha, tapos you mixed that thing pa with feelings.
    Feelings na from now on, you should learn to control when doing sex outside of a romantic relationship.

    Kakayanin mo yan, find others na mapapagsabihan mo nitong kwento mo. Your problem being addressed here is a way to go, but someone to talk to in person will be a hundred times better.

    You’ll get through it and learn from it.
    Good luck!

    What won’t kill you will only make you stronger

  42. Cheverlina said on 11-10-2012

    Tama yung nabasa ko sa isang comment, final exams muna asikasuhin mo. Aral muna bago landi.

    Pero mahirap talagang labanan ang feeling na ganyan, pero makaka-move on ka rin. Basta gumawa ka lang ng paraan para makawala, be busy…
    wag mong masyadong dibdibin yang fling na ‘yan, yes, it’s not even love…halos puro physical attraction lang nangyari sa inyo, sa nabasa ko sa letter mo, you didn’t even feel that you’ve become a better person, may sarap lang sa kama at kilig na nangyari. Do your best, wag kang ma-attach sa mga ganyan.

  43. Jerome said on 11-10-2012

    I have feelings for him, maybe even more than I care to admit. There really shouldnt be because that’s the main reason why he’s okay with this and I’m not. It’s clear that he’ll never have feelings for me. The smart thing for me to do is forget him and erase these damned feelings I have for him. I can’t do that while things already happened between us. It was much easier when I was less attracted to him that I currently am. I dont want to do that without talking to him first, and let him know before I might transfer or leave Manila.

  44. Closer2Fame said on 10-10-2012

    Sigh… I used to have a mannerism of putting things in my mouth whenever I panic… I guess yours is a lot better.. That’s more handy whenever I’l be put on the spot…hahaha

    I know it;s hard when it’s your 1st… Just get over it and move on… there’s many fish in the sea… When you meet a person preferably around your age who’s fun to be with and you find equally attractive then that’s it.. be experimental and just in case you guys break up.. you’ll be well equipped with experience..

    I had the same experience like yours back then.. I was so obsessed w/ one particular guy.. maybe that’s why I tried to distract myself with other people and it worked.. I found a few people who made me set the bar high.. people who are attractive not only because of their looks but with how they treated me.. I was too immature back then to appreciate them cause I was too stuck with my 1st obsession… A few years passed and I saw my 1st obsession and he still looks as good he used to… He wanted to hook up but it made me think about it for a while..and I remembered how he treated me back then.. He may have changed but then again, I just realized that not only did I looked better… I had better! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Jerome said on 11-10-2012

      Things in my mouth?? you mean dicks? :))
      I’m really happy for you. Last night, by the way, I got to chat with him online. Small talk. Just “haha”s, “hehe”s and “thanks”. Does it matter though to let him know how he has been affecting me?

      • Closer2Fame said on 14-10-2012

        Nahh… It would’t matter anyway.. unless, he would ask you which I doubt… Just laugh it off and move on.. be around people, meet friends of friends.. pick from the ones who are initially attracted to you and sure there are no regrets this time…

    • Ulon said on 11-10-2012

      malaking tama ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. Jucjuc said on 10-10-2012

    If he doesn’t want you anymore, or if you don’t want him anymore, why bother? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Focus on acing your final exams, hijo.

    Love comes to him who never chases love. ๐Ÿ™„

    • Jerome said on 11-10-2012

      That’s true. Though he really was the first guy to show any intention to want me and actually go for it. I tend to not notice anything around me, not even guys, and he forced himself in..in a way. That really ticks me off.

  46. Jucjuc said on 10-10-2012

    If he doesn’t want you anymore, or if you don’t want him anymore, why bother?

    Focus on acing your final xams, hijo.

    Love comes to him who never chases love.

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