Hi Migs, I’ve been secretly reading your blog for quite sometime now and i really like its concept. Am a closeted yuppie with tons of questions about my sexuality but information that specifically targets them is elusive until i found out about your blog and advocacy. I know i have always been like this ever since but longtime shunned the idea. Coming from a paternalistic fambly, having studied at a hypermasculine school and now working at a homophobic industry (engineering), nurturing my homo tendencies is the least of my priority. But i guess things like these just manifest outwardly even without us noticing them. Thats why i felt the need to share my long kept secret/fetish/habit. Am convinced this became my outlet, a vent from my very disempowered self. so here’s my story:
First manifestation happened during after a debut of a highschool batchmate of mine. Technically, it would hve been HS batch’s pseudo reunion since almost everybody from my class attended. Apparently, the after party included drinking sprees and torrents of catching up and boasting off of our respective universities. Because we wanted to extend our kwentuhan in a more comfy, less crowded and less smoky place, my barkada and i decided to stay over night at a friend’s nearby house. E my specific barkada from our batch was made up of mostly gays and gals. I was surprised when cute straight distant friend (ill call him Mike, though not his real name) agreed to come with us. Close din naman namin sya but we rarely had barkada moments wd him. Mebbe masaya kasi kausap gays, humor at its finest and besides minsan lang naman to see one another, kaya he agreed. So there, laugh trip night talaga. We shared lots of stories from college first day funk to libog stories. Since nasa isang kwarto lang kami lahat, we all decided to sleep on the floor na lang tabi tabi. I liked sleeping beside the wall kaya i took the farthest place. Sobrang pagod ko, i immediately went to sleep while nagkkwentuhan pa the others.
Suddenly nagising ako in the dead of the night, i have this habit of checking my phone for messages and time check too. It was around 2am if memory serves me right. I realized Mike was sleeping beside me on my right and he’s sharing kumot with me. I thought agad mebbe he chose to sleep beside me kasi baka gapangin siya ng iba kong friends who are openly gay, effeminate so to speak. Because unlike them, am straight acting, it’s prolly more of an open secret internally sa barkada but with all my other friends am masculine. I noticed Mike was slightly snoring, he was deep in his sleep. That moment i felt all my earthly urges shoot up! He was not actually my type, there were a bunch of better looking batchmates i have. Chinito, with dimples, your typical boy next door. Although he was known to be a playboy hearthrob, pa-cute type of student before, who’s typically seen with machismo-laden tropa ng mga gwapo, he was extremely friendly with our gay classmates. Funny that there was even a time we had a conflict because I confronted him for breaking a close gal friend’s heart. But that night, i cant help but stare at his beautiful face, nasabi ko na lang “gwapo naman pala siya, kaya siya playboy.” The next thing i know, i was automatically magnetized by his appeal and thought of taking advantage of his vulnerable state. Since the room was pretty much jam-packed, he was sleeping very close to me, i can audibly hear his breathing and snoring. What happened next came as a surprise, he suddenly held my right hand, as in yung parang hhww gesture. I know wala lang yun kasi he was really asleep. Para kaming magboyfriend. I know it was just some kind of gesture one does unconsciously while sleeping. I was aroused to the hilt! Ang sikip na ng pants ko noon and masakit kasi it’s denim. What i did was i touched his lips, his soft lips. Grabe ang pounding ng heart ko, i felt my temperature went up talaga. Kahit airconditioned yung room, i felt so hot. Then i tilted my head even closer to his. He was not moving an inch, sobrang tulog si kuya. Then i kissed him on the lips! I effin kissed Mike! My freakin’ first time to lustfully kiss anyone at all and it felt good. He moved a little and released his hands from holding mine, still snoring. Am aware when somebody’s just pretending to be asleep, twitchy eye lids, and staged snoring, but his i felt totoo, Mike was really deeply lost in his sleep. Next thing i know im apparently moving towards his armpit. He’s wearing sando that time. He raised his arms after releasing his hold of my right hand. I dont know, i have developed this fetish for armpits. It did not disappoint. Mabango and not so hairy.
So we were both under one sheet, i wearing my denim, and surprisingly he was just wearing his boxer shorts. I remembered what i overheard during their convo while i was trying to sleep, topic was about morning wood. Mike told everyone in the tropa that he was guilty of it. I too am guilty with having morning woods. My curiousity spiked. I want to check it myself if Mike was telling the truth, if he was really keeping a wood under his shorts. Then all of a sudden, i just noticed my right hand started exploring down under. I cant really see where it was heading because it’s under the sheets nga so i was guessing and ecolocating. It felt good. It’s cathartic. At the back of my mind i thought to myself, malalaman ko na rin ang iniiyakan ng mga babae sa school. I touched his navel, i knew i was close. Slowly but surely. Finally, a lump on the flat surface. My heart was ready to explode anytime. I was gasping for air, if i would be successful it would be my first time to ever touched someone else’s ding dong. And all the things i overheard were affirmed. Yes, Mike sleeps with a wood. It was like a rubber. i was slowly and gently tapping his semi hard cock, testing if it will wake him. Never crossed my mind i would be able to do that in the most unexpected of time and place. My hands wanted more. I tried to slip my hands inside his thin boxers. It was a breeze. He’s wearing slightly loose brief too. Kaya i was able to get “in” there in no time, with one hand (Rockstar!) I felt his pubes in my fingers, soft and not so bushy. Then all hell break loose, my first time to touch a cock! It was slightly erected arched on the side. It was so smooth. Not as big though. Malaki pa ata yung sakin, (you know what they say about cute guys, normally they have small penis hahaha!) I played with it, am savoring the moment. I touched the head, the base and his balls. Overly tempted to go under the sheets to see it but i cant. So i was just imagining how everything looks like. The fine pubes, his smooth cock, and slightly hanged/loose balls. I was having a revolution of my own under my denim. In all these things, Mike was still genuinely asleep. Not moving an inch. Just snoring. I felt like am a winner! I was able to get hold of Mike’s cock, i bet a thousand girls would die for. Then i wanted more. I gently pulled down his boxers and brief so i could freely move up and down his now throbbing cock. I wish that moment never ended na lang. Siguro he kinda felt something na so he moved and tilted on the side facing away from me. I was challenged even more. This time i became a little aggressive. I moved closer to him, and reached for his cock on the other side. I was able to hold it again. Still erected. I played with it, the slit on his penis head, the foreskin underneath it. Then suddenly i felt ive had enough, i tried to get my hands inside his boxers on his behind. I slowly touched his a-hole. Hairy pala yun i thought. I enjoyed that one even more. Pumasok nga sa isip ko to just unzip my pants and insert my galit na galit na alaga inside that small cute a-hole but that would be too much and obviously magigising na siya. I wanted to finger him badly but I resisted. The fairytale ended when he started coughing. So i immediately pulled out my hands and pretended i was awaken by his coughing. He even apologized for accidentally waking me. He seems to have no idea of what happened. I checked the time, it was fuckin’ 5am! 3 hours of heaven seems like a brief moment. I can’t even recall if i ever had fallen asleep while doing the act. I was extremely vigilant if he will show signs that he knows what i did but no. He was his casual jolly self, went to the cr to pee and prepared something to eat. I was hoping he will go back to sleep so i can do it one more time but no go. Then everybody else started waking up na. Ako naman yung sobrang puyat! If i can only tell them, “guys matutulog pa lang ako, i did some kinky business kanina”, but thats just close to impossible. So i obliged.i went to the kitchen where Mike was and expecting a confrontation or perhaps hindi niya ko papansinin but guess what, he even offered me his noodles and started watching the tv together. Still no signs of mebbe being uneasy with me. Everything went well and good. I finally concluded that he has no idea of what happened. That made me two-fold victorious.
That first time experience made me realize a lot of things. One, it sealed the deal that obviously am really attracted to men. Second, that i enjoyed playing with a-hole more than cock, which probably spell the reason why top ako. And third, i would do that fetish/habit/i-dont-know-what act again if i have the chance, if not to Mike, to somebody else. I liked the feeling of being in command, being the alpha plus the fact that i was able to take advantage of a straight guy made it more exciting! And the possibility of getting caught, the rush, the intricacy, were such pure bliss. True enough it happened again to a couple more straight guy friends i have in separate occasions. I will share it na lang mebbe soon because I recognize mahaba na yung sulat ko. Anyway, i just want to share this and probably lemme know if what am doing is wrong and if i should stop doing that. It’s a specific habit i almost cannot stop doing. Even when i was with my bf (now ex) i always like touching him while he is asleep. Of course i know most of the time he is just pretending to be asleep, spoiling me.
Am not sure if this is post worthy but still v happy to finally be able to share this story apart from my alter ego.lols. Sometimes, randomly sharing experiences of a person from a sub-culture like PLUs meant empowerment. Thank yew and more power to your blog.
– Engineer in the Closet