I’ve been a reader of your blogs ever since. I also support your HIV screenings once in a while. Funny thing, I went with my boyfriend in two of those events.
Anyway, here is my problem. I recently discovered that my boyfriend has an alter twitter account. If you’re unfamiliar with the alter twitter-verse, it’s full of usually gay men who posts their bodies and sexual encounters. These men use an alternate twitter (not their public twitter) to do this. I follow several of them in my public account for porn, you know jacking off mostly.
I confronted him about it. He said he only created that to check up on me, because I follow these alter accounts on twitter. I said to him that I only use them for porn. I don’t even have an alter account because I find it so cumbersome. I saw his posts in his alter account there were several posts with photos on it (half naked). Some tweets with some our conversation topics. He said it was to lure me on taking the bait. If I do have an alter and I saw his alter posts I will have to find to talk him about it. Which makes sense. But the thing that bothered me the most is he has a direct message from some alter asking to have a hook up, and he replied “Where and where?”. That guy replied back, but he didn’t. I asked him about that and he said, he wanted to see if it was me. He said to me: “You see, I didn’t respond to his messages after I asked him ‘when and where?'”. Because after he knew that it wasn’t me, he stopped.
The last activity in that account was November 2016. He said that was the last time he opened his alter. I saw it on his phone because he forgot how the password and just remembered it. He deleted his alter account in front me and apologized. His ex did that to him. He was paranoid that he wanted to check on me too. His ex had several Facebook accounts and PR accounts, he did the same to his ex to catch him, because his ex was fooling around. That’s why they broke up.
I guess my question is should I believe him? I believed him because I love him so much. I forgave him and we made up. But what do you think? Am I being too forgiving here? I love him so much.
N.A.A.H. (No Alter Account Holder)
Secrets, they say, are seeds of infidelities. But I am not sure I believe that as gospel truth. Secrets can indeed be the start of the end, but not all the time, I guess.
I personally have no appetite for further convolutions in relationships. I like things to be clear and straightforward. Relationships are rarely like that so why add more complexities? Not everyone can take this, so I won’t really give this as my advice. Perhaps just this — communicate, trust, and respect. Alter or no alter, relationship values are the same.
All the best to you and your partner.