Manila Gay Guy

From a friend’s blog, “Deconstructing Venus” (by Lance) —

In a venue where one is judged at face-value, I guess this adage doesn’t apply: Never judge a book by its cover.

During the recent Miss Universe (2010) beauty pageant, the world was enthralled by the grace, elegance and worldly sophistication of the statuesque and dusky Filipina, Venus Raj, as she floated through the stage in a bikini and then in a shimmering gown of silver. She was breathtakingly beautiful and cover-worthy of an expensive fashion magazine. Looking at her it would be easy to assume that she breathed and lived for parties, social events, go-sees and photoshoots.

And then…Venus had to open her mouth and speak her mind. She was asked this question, “What major mistake have you made in your life and how do you plan to correct it?” To which she replied:

“You know what, Sir, in my 22 years of existence, I can say that there’s nothing major major problem that I’ve done in my life because I’m very confident with my family, with the love that they are giving to me. So thank you so much that I’m here. Thank you, thank you so much!”

That night, Venus won as 4th runner-up on stage. Off-stage, she became a loser. She became the object of jokes and remarks conveying disappointment over her 4th runner-up finish saying that if only she was smarter, she would have won the crown. Hours later, Venus emerges from the contest joking about “major, major”, saying she wouldn’t change her answer if given the chance.

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Hi Migs,

I just wanna know what’s your opinion on having a much younger lover? I’m 35 and he’s 20. I’ve been single for 3 yrs. Even the last relationship I was in didn’t have all the feelings I’m having now. What should I do? I’m afraid at the same time. Yet, I’ve never been sooo happy. I feel like I’m 25 again. I thought I’ve passed being jaded. But I’m thinking of him almost 24/7. But the fear! It’s there at the back of my mind. Besides the age gap, we’re totally different in social/economic level. Yet I’m sooo in deep for my feeling for him. What am I to do???

Thanks,

JC
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Reposted from the blog of Baklang Maton (BM). Kakatuwa ng bongga! Read on:

Believe it or not, minsan sa buhay ko eh tinawag akong Mutya…

Akshuali ang tawag nya sa kin eh “Kuya Mutya”. Bago pa ko bumalik ng iskwater, bago pa ko maging manager ng canton boys, bago pa ko mamayagpag sa carpeted eskinita, at bago pa ko naging BM, ako muna si Mutya.

Si Waldo eh nakilala ko 3 years ago sa isang team building camp sa Tanay. Impertinenteng bata, kasi ihing ihi na raw sha kaya lumaktaw sa kin sa upuan kahit borlogs pa ko. Eh mukha pa naman akong suicide bomber pag bagong gising. Naloka ang gwapo at mega sorry.

“Ano ba?! Di mo ba nakikita na tulog ako?! Di mo ba nakikitang… ang cute mo at okay lang na istorbohin mo ko?!”

Nung napansin ko na me itsura ang lolo mo, ay wit na sa anger! Make peace not war agad ang slogan, sabay kaway na pang Mutya ng Pilipinas at bulong ng “world peace…”

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Here’s a comment an older post got recently, which I thought was worthy to be a post in itself. It says something about how people see bisexuals: “Everyone says bi-men have (or want) the best of both worlds. But in fact we have the best of neither world.” Makes sense? What do you think? Read on for the full text:

First I want to apologize because I’m a foreigner in your wonderful country who hasn’t yet mastered Tagalog. So I can’t understand all of the original post. But I’m an older married guy and I’ve had many younger Pinoy bfs. The problem is most have seen me as a bank rather than a serious partner. My wife (who is also foreign) was very supportive when I came out to her, but that turned when she realised I could love another man. We’re separated now, although not yet divorced. We’re still good friends and I still send most of my salary to my kids (My wife’s salary isn’t enough to cover all the bills). Most bisexual guys eventually become totally gay (statistics state 90%). Now I have a house in the Philippines and I have a bf who is totally devoted to me. It’s early days in our relationship but he’s so mabait I really think he’s the one. I decided to move to the Philippines because I’ve worked with Pinoys for so long I understand much of your culture, I have a lot of friends in Pinas, and I have a severe weakness for Asian men.
But the effect on my family? My wife doesn’t want to meet another man because she can’t trust men after me. My kids love me but don’t want to visit the Philippines or see me with a bf. So yes, you can say I am selfish. But for you guys who are totally straight, or totally gay, from the very start, it’s not as cut and dried as that when you are bi. Everyone says bi-men have (or want) the best of both worlds. But in fact we have the best of neither world. I’m not after sympathy with this post. I just want you guys condemning Mike to wait until you’re in a similar situation before you drop the axe.[-Nico]

Let’s hear it from the other side. Here’s a letter from a former masseur, who generously shares his story. Thanks, Nel.

Dear Migs,

I have been an avid reader of your blog site for almost a year now. My friend shared me your site- maybe in his desire to facilitate answers to my redundant questions about manila masseurs faster than he really could. In fact, I would not allow a day to pass without visiting your wellness link to update my list of the latest scoops and hot masseurs that should soon be tucked into my suitcase before my departure to manila for me and fellow PLU’s annual Christmas vacation.

I am Nel, a closeted gay in my late forties, an accountant by profession who acquired a citizenship here in USA after I was petitioned by my employer/lover. I have too many complexities in my personality that had been brought about by the numerous hazy chapters of my gay life. I’d like to share some of my own experience, just to find release after I made some disclosures about my murky past as reaction to a comment posted by one of your readers (masseurs, masseurs post. comments #’s 1359, 1361 and 1366.) I’d like to see it posted as a contribution in your site, so that others may be inspired and believe there is life after the massage bed or for whatever purpose it could serve to the readers.
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I think this letter/story is quite touching, so I’m featuring it here. “Skye” thanks for sharing!

hi migs,

with the consecutive typhoons hitting our country people started to dread the rain. rain shouldn’t be feared nor rejected. the rain itself is not the root cause of our problems. we badly need better drainage and better waste management. i sure hope i don’t sound insensitive and selfish when i say that i love the rain. (i said rain and not typhoons.)

the rain has always been a friend of mine. it has brought me many wonderful memories. i would like to share with you one of them. migs, have you ever felt love slip right out of your hands.. like it was incredibly close that you could touch it, grab it.. but then you somehow lost the chance to do so? this is exactly how i felt with this person. (more…)

The most commented post here in MGG is the Male-to-Male Massage post. It already has 1,700+ comments and growing. To ease reading the comments I’m putting this placeholder for newer comments on the same topic: masseurs, masseurs, masseurs. So, in the spirit of sharing, go log your own stories.

(For older comments, go to this post.)

A lot of MGG readers seem to be interested in sharing and reading about their “escapades” with supposedly straight men. Personally, it’s not my cup of tea, but if it is yours, who am I to stop you? I’m putting this post up as a placeholder for your stories, which as of late has been scattered in different posts. Enjoy sharing — and reading!

I made a survey among friends with this question, “”Bakit ang daming mataray na bading?”

Interesting responses (and their screen names):

Defense mechanism yan, brought upon by years of repressed bad feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, etc. Isama pa ang mga panlalait at pambu-bully (yes, this is me channelling from personal experience. LOL) Tapos idagdag mo pa na overachieving ang mga bading, so pag may na-accomplish sarap ipamukha sa mga tao na “Hah! I can do it.” (from Bluebaby98)

Kasi if we analyze, erm, “gay culture” (not comfortable with the term haha), we find that gay sexuality is historically shaped na di lang maging imitation ng woman pero para maging uberwoman. Ang teyorya ko dyan e ang pinakaunang gay icons e yung mga prima donna. Sina Madonna, Cher, Bette Davis, yan mga makabagong icons na yan. Yung “mataray” siguro ay cultural na yan, yan ang tawag sa tin dun sa ganung uberwoman…thing. (from Jack)

Perception lang yan sa bading. Kasi generally being witty (and yes, generally ha! Not all!) and making witty remarks can sometimes be taken as mataray. And I guess, it is just so unusual for the male population to be so vocal and upfront about what one feels or what one thinks. Ergo, akala mataray. (from Pamintang Kalbo)

I think it’s a cover to hide insecurities that they are feeling or have felt… or they’re simply chanelling their inner Maricel Soriano? (from Petrelli Dish)

Kahit sino puwede maging mataray… lalaki man or babae… so feeling ko wlang excuse kahit bading ka.. nae-emphasize lang dahil bading tayo… Reaction lang naman yun sa kung ano ang pinapakita ng iba sa iyo. (from Carrie Paraleja)

People here in Manila are generally more “mataray” than folks in the provinces, regardless of gender. I also have gay friends in Davao, but I think they’re much more subtle, so to speak, than us metro gays. Does socio-cultural background factor in? (from Lady R)

Baka it’s their way of masking their insecurity, lack of (and sometimes too much) boyfriends, hahahaha. But i think, the same with other mataray friends i know (girls and boys alike), it is some sort of filtering mechanism to keep unwanteds away. Unwanteds == {orcs, people who might take advantage of them, nonsense people}. Usually kase people in the metro have a very wide circle of friends. Improved communication and social activities has not helped reduce in making this circle smaller. So parang everybody knows everybody, and you really have to choose who to mingle with, and sometimes ung pagiging mataray lang ung only way to filter the rest out. Pero i think when you are in the circle of friends of these “mataray” people, you wont feel the “taray” factor. You might even stand up to defend them and say they are just misunderstood and they are the most interesting/sweet/adorable people on this world. As for our not-so-mataray sisters in the province… baka kulang pa sila sa exposure, thus has no need to raise the “taray” shield. (from Berting Paloma)

How about you dear MGG reader? What do you think? Kanino kayo nakaka-identify among my friends above?

It’s the start of 2009 — what a great time to acknowledge the people who have made this blog so successful. Kudos to all our readers, particularly those who have actively participated and contributed to the great interaction here in this blog. Manila Gay Guy the blog has so far received more than 36,000 blog comments spread across its 1,200+ posts. This proves how vibrant the community around this blog is. Mabuhay, MGG readers! Mabuhay MGG commenters! More, more, more!

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Again, to all MGG’s readers and commenters, salamat! Thank you, and World Peace!