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You are not alone.

Discreet men, you are not alone. There are others like you. Would you like to meet some of them in a safe and affirming space? Register now for there are only a few slots left: http://go.loveyourself.ph/dm1111

November 11, 2017 — would you like to meet other guys who are also discreet?
A one-of-a-kind wholesome group meet-up for discreet men. On Saturday evening, discreet venue in Mandaluyong. P300 door fee, includes food and drinks. Selected participants shall be sent invites and venue details. Limited slots.

Register to get an invite: https://goo.gl/forms/6Q6DM4AJwQSNu3hb2

Much has changed and we now see better acceptance of gay, bisexual, and questioning men in Philippine urban society. Despite this, many of us still feel the need to hide parts of who we truly are. With a great (but many times unconscious) desire to conform to what we think others expect of us, we follow paths that inadvertently disconnect us from the authentic yearnings of our core. This oftentimes translates to inexplicable feelings of emptiness or being stuck, perennial thoughts of being in the wrong job or wrong career path, or recurring experiences of failed relationships.

The Men’s Retreat, through a set of non-religious activities and lecturettes done within a weekend, will use the power of self-awareness and community to enable you to appreciate where you are in your current life, identify limiting beliefs and behaviors, and chart a new and more core-connected way forward.

Enjoy quality time with the most important person in your life–YOU. The weekend getaway is a hilltop retreat house just half-an-hour away from Ortigas, in a safe and affirming space designed for insightful introspection. Join the Men’s Retreat and start your journey to authentic and wholehearted living.

May 20-21, 2017. Register via go.loveyourself.ph/mensretreat

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Dear Migs,

I just want to share this with you.

I never did something sexually before. Though I am on the right age (I think), I choose not to because.. reasons. (I am still in the closet. I think my friends and family may have an idea… but I am not out yet.)

But today, I did it with someone I did not imagine that I will do it with. I can’t even write this down because of regret… You know those young boys on the streets that offers you “massage?” He is one of them. He keeps bugging me every time he sees me. I never thought that I will entertain him but I REALLY DON’T KNOW why I did this time.

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Hi Kuya Migs!

I identify myself as a young closeted *confused* lad, jacking off to numerous gay porn, fantasizing big (chubby/muscular) bodies etc, reading some gay fanfiction. movies about gay life etc. but I just really cannot connect or being friends with guys.

Everytime I am seeing a guy,regardless of where I am right now (In freshman year in college somewhere in Taft) my first impression ko sa kanila was the arrogant & cocky type, yung tipong mahilig mang-trip/mang-asar ng ibang tao. Also pala, yung mga typical interests ng mga boys, like online gaming, dota, some anime, basketball, sports, cars etc. never nakong nagkaroon ng interest.

And everytime some guy/manong calls me “pare”, “boss”, “brad” etc. I cringe… I really don’t know why. Maybe that I’ve developed some form of misandry or an identity crisis that I had experienced since my elementary days, where almost no boy wants to befriend me. I only had girls as my friends since then. Nagtuloy-tuloy ito during my highschool days, where most of guys in my age visit computer shops & playing basketball but I never had any interests in those things, as in wala talaga, hindi ako mag-clclick sa kanila (baka pati na rin sa inyo).

And the result is, wala akong naging kaibigan na mga lalaki ever since. Dahil nga, how can I be friends with them if I really do not have a common interest with them, e ano paguusapan natin?

And sadly, i’m really attracted physically & sexually to guys, gusto ko na nga maging babae eh.. 😛

I need some answers about my real identity is… wag kayong magagalit o maoffend sa mga words na nabasa nyo. 🙂

– Renzo

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John is uptight and closeted. He is perfectly happy letting life pass him by, preferring the safety of loneliness for fear of getting hurt. He reluctantly returns to his hometown when his sister, Gibby, drags him to Basaan, the town’s annual festival. There, he runs into Trey, an old friend of his who he is secretly in love with. The vibrant and spirited Trey calls out John’s current way of life, challenging him to take part in it. John finally lets his guard down, but it may be too late for him.

DIRECTOR: Gino Jose

Dear MEG
1981
 Sa una kong work 5years din akong sidewalk vendor,may kahina ang akin mata
1986
may kapitbahay ako na magaling mag lettering graduate sia ng basic seaman course  at may certificate blanko walang PANGALAN sia kasi sia ang nag lettering mga pangalan ng certificate
At sa pangalan ko nilagay lahat ng document ng bilang basic seaman course na mayroon sia ang ginawa nia ako. sa POEA ng ipapasok ko na ang document para maregestry ang seamanbook ko ay nalusutan ko,lakas ng loob na lang kung paano ko malulusutan ang interview sa POEA kailangan ko gawin yon ang best na  gagawin ko para magkapera at makapag abroad 8years lahat ng pagtitiis, masasakit na salita tangap ng tangap na  lang salitang dignidad ay wala na sa akin, inisip ko ang kapatid ko ang situation ng buhay ng pamilya namin
Nag aral din ako ng ASSOCIATE MARINE ENGEERING pero di pumapasok sa ulo ko ang pag aaral
1997
 tumigil ako sa pagiging seaman , inayawan na ako ng dati kong shipping company dahil dami nagrereklamo sa akin ang mga kasamahan ko dahil mabagal daw ako malulungkutin,di ako makasabay sa kasamahan ko seaman sa lahat ng bagay pero may naawa din sa akin, ang iba naiinis, kaya nagpasya ako tumigil na sa pagseaman at tapos na ang dalawa kong kapatid, para di sila mapariwara
sa perang naipon sinubukan ko magtiwala sa cousin sa teacher sa brother ko at sa internet pyramiding pero walang bumalik sa ngayon bahay na lang ang tangi kong inaasahan nagpaupa ako ng bahay may 10years na rin nakakasurvive din
2003
nag umpisa ang kamalasan ko ng pumatol ako sa 18yrs old na lalaki, sinamantala ko ang kanyang kagipitan ng may kapalit na sex , nag sunod sunod na ang paghahanap ko na panadalian aliw kahit di satify ang kapatner ko dahil sa kaliitan ng akin kargada ko , dinaan ko na lang sa romansa at patira sa puwet para lang makaraos ang patner ko,pero isang bagay lang ang di ko magawa ang makisama ng matagalan parang nasanay na ko na mag isa at maghanap ng iba
Noong bata pa ko napipigilan ko ang tukso at iwas sa mga bagay na masagwa pero pilit nila pina mumukha na bading ako dahil malamya ako amg salita at mabagal kumilos
 

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My kumare, Chona Babes, tells me stories about Leroy, her 8-year-old son who at a very early age knew he was different from other boys. Leroy once told his Mom, “Mommy, yung classmate ko bakla rin.”

Bakla RIN? So Chona knew the boy had awareness of his identity. Good thing, the mother in her is just so supportive for the bakling duckling in Leroy. “Siyempre mahal ko yung anak ko, ano man siya. Eh ano naman kung bakla?”

One day, Chona relates another Leroy story, the school bullies were heckling him, “Ah bakla, ah bakla!” they jeered, when Leroy suddenly turns to them and blasts, “At least, buhay!”

Chona and I couldn’t contain our boisterous laughter as she told this story. “Oo nga naman! Aanhin mo ang straight kung dedz naman!? Eh ano nga naman kung bakla?” we cheered together: “At least, buhay!”

I wonder how the kid thought this retort up. Maybe it’s the seedling of wit a lot of his elder counterparts are quite known for. Or a whip of his survival gene as a defense to the harsh honesty of the world. Or perhaps, it’s the wisdom of youth speaking.

People, hear ye, listen to them young ones.

Hi Migs, I’ve been secretly reading your blog for quite sometime now and i really like its concept. Am a closeted yuppie with tons of questions about my sexuality but information that specifically targets them is elusive until i found out about your blog and advocacy. I know i have always been like this ever since but longtime shunned the idea. Coming from a paternalistic fambly, having studied at a hypermasculine school and now working at a homophobic industry (engineering), nurturing my homo tendencies is the least of my priority. But i guess things like these just manifest outwardly even without us noticing them. Thats why i felt the need to share my long kept secret/fetish/habit. Am convinced this became my outlet, a vent from my very disempowered self. so here’s my story:

First manifestation happened during after a debut of a highschool batchmate of mine. Technically, it would hve been HS batch’s pseudo reunion since almost everybody from my class attended. Apparently, the after party included drinking sprees and torrents of catching up and boasting off of our respective universities. Because we wanted to extend our kwentuhan in a more comfy, less crowded and less smoky place, my barkada and i decided to stay over night at a friend’s nearby house. E my specific barkada from our batch was made up of mostly gays and gals. I was surprised when cute straight distant friend (ill call him Mike, though not his real name) agreed to come with us. Close din naman namin sya but we rarely had barkada moments wd him. Mebbe masaya kasi kausap gays, humor at its finest and besides minsan lang naman to see one another, kaya he agreed. So there, laugh trip night talaga. We shared lots of stories from college first day funk to libog stories. Since nasa isang kwarto lang kami lahat, we all decided to sleep on the floor na lang tabi tabi. I liked sleeping beside the wall kaya i took the farthest place. Sobrang pagod ko, i immediately went to sleep while nagkkwentuhan pa the others.

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Hi Migs. I really want to have your opinion on this. I’m getting desperate.

I’m a college kid in a university around Manila. There’s this guy(When was there not?) with whom I MAY have developed feelings for.. and that’s exactly the problem.

To tell you the truth, he was the first person I’ve ever had sex of any kind with. I’m 19 and it happened quite recently. He’s straight, sort of a womanizer but he actually doesn’t deserve the credit he gets cause he’s not the most handsome guy in school..nor the smartest. For the past three years or so, we had developed sexual tension between each other. He always showed intention to subtly seduce me since we started texting, when he just transferred.

This year, we sort of started seeing each other more, but still in the company of our mutual friends. Until then, we never really talked or seen each other since last summer. Things started off again from that point. We texted more and he came to visit the house more often whenever I had classmates over. They knew each other, you see, but he wasnt a classmate of mine. We never get to converse well personally though. I’m a naturally silent person and I feel that sometimes I have to resort to irrelevant topics to get us start talking. He’s very amusing in texts though. very. We texted each other as long as someone replied– so that was all the time.

Then it got to the point that he was comfortable enough to visit me alone. He came to sleepover a few times and then we had breakfast. He seemed to like to crash at other people’s pads. This one time, he said he badly needed a back massage. I obliged and let him come over after his part time job. He used my computer for a while when he arrived while I read a book. It was kind of awkward for both of us to start thinking about that massage, which was actually the reason why he came. I didnt bother to make mention of it until he did a few times. I was dead silent reading my book and he didnt like that. Eventually, when he was finished browsing his facebook for his hot girl friends, who he often points out to me while saying his thoughts aloud, we went to my room to give him that massage. It was getting pretty late then so I agreed.

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