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Since September I have been looking for a venue for a get together among discreet and closeted bisexual/gay/confused/questioning men, and finally I have found a perfect, private location.

In the past, the meetups I would arrange happen in public places, like coffee shops or restaurants. But because I would like this “discreet meet” to be truly discreet, I endeavored to look for a really apt venue. I have found one in Makati, near dela Rosa St., right smack at the Central Business District. It is quiet, conducive for private group discussions, and, most importantly, away from the public’s prying eyes.

The meetup will be on December 15, 3-5 PM. I will be selecting only 10 people (out of the almost 100 people who registered) for the first batch of this Discreet Meet. Others I can invite in the succeeding batches.

For those who are interested to join and are sure to make the Dec 15, 3 PM schedule in Makati, kindly send me a brief note ( and, if you like, include a little bit about yourself and why you think you would benefit from this meetup. If I get more than 10 responses, your short note would come in handy to choose who will receive the actual invite.

Discreet and in a hotel-like ambiance, this is one HIV testing opportunity you wouldn’t want to miss. Come to the Medicard Lifestyle Center (Buendia corner Paseo de Roxas, Makati City) on Nov. 23, 2012, between 5 PM and 2 AM, and have your HIV screening test, with bonus tests for Hepatitis B and Syphilis – all for free. Be worry-free, as your information shall be handled with utmost care and confidentiality. And by the way, lots of basement parking available. For pre-registration, go to

Photos of the venue:

Read below and tell us what you think —

First there were secrets — secrets just like yours. Now, it’s time for revelations — confessions. Watch, and feel the exhilaration of secrets confessed out in the open. Brave individuals, taking their brave step out of the shadows. Come listen to real people share their real stories.

Be part of the journey of this diverse group of individuals who dared to discover themselves – reliving their past, facing their fears, and relishing the present. Share in their new-found freedom to express themselves in a night like no other. LoveYourself Café Confessions features real stories from real people – Lui, Gimo, Ivy, Buboy, Ryan, Mark, Dex, JV & Niknok – shared by themselves, no holds barred.

It has been an interesting few weeks under the guidance of Rep Phils’ youngest director, Topper Fabregas, and LoveYourself’s own Kuya Law, that this odd bunch have shared the gift of being able to discover together and express themselves. Join them this Saturday as they pass on that gift to as they dare to care and share part of themselves with others.

Join us in a special public show performed by the workshop participants to be held on Saturday, Nov. 10 at the La Maison Rada Condominium Roofdeck, 115 Rada St., Legaspi Village, Makati City.

Event map here:

Organizers will be asking for a PhP500 donation at the door to help cover for the workshop expenses. Proceeds will support future projects of Love Yourself.

Strip and shed off your inhibitions. Top, bottom, or versa — whatever you are, you have a place here, you are welcome here. Come, a screening exclusively for boys (like us). Friday after office, on Nov. 23. Register to know the discreet details:

I was having a lively dinner conversation with my Cebu friends last night, when we got to talk about anal sex.

“Uy, ano kayo, top, bottom, o versa?” — my question to all of them.

I was overwhelmed with a consistent answer: VERSA!

Such a safe answer, I thought. So I pushed it a bit and followed up with, versa but more… what? More top? More bottom?

One by one they so hesitantly shared their preference. But one answer stood out —

I’m versa, but TRENDING BOTTOM!

That answer made my evening.

O-M-C! Oh my Cebu, I love you!

Free, discreet, and confidential HIV testing for People Like Us in Guadalupe, Cebu City. This Sunday, Nov. 4, 12 NN to 5 PM. This is being organized by Love Yourself Cebu. For details please text 0915-750-1000.

hi there Migs!

I’ve been an avid reader of your blog ever since you started writing about HIV Awareness. I’m a fan actually of how you made it into a personal advocacy of yours to ensure that PLUs are given the right information when it comes to this condition. I dont know if you’ll take interest in my story but I’d like to share it anyway, in the hope that maybe I would find a confidant or a support group that will help me through this ordeal, however trivial it maybe. And who knows, I might be an advocate myself.

Very recently, I was subject to my very first HIV scare, you see, I’ve always been reading your blog but I never really got the urge to do it myself. I was like an audience on the sidelines waiting for my turn on the spotlight, and just a week ago, I had to face the truth. It was through your blog that I found my way through one of the testing centers in Manila, RITM. If not for your blog, I wouldn’t have made it there. The group who accommodated me were very nice, I felt no judgement in that room although there were a couple of people who were having their tests done as well.

My peer counselor, Joseph, was kind enough to walk me through the process. I felt a sigh of relief being able to talk to someone about it without the unintended and unsolicited judgment that I didnt need at such a desolate time.

The test was quick and it was a breeze, it didnt feel like an hour of waiting because I had something to keep my mind preoccupied. But as the time came, I felt that sudden urge to break down. but as I said to my counselor, this is the first time I’m going to be tested for HIV, the first time I ever subjected myself to unprotected sex and the last time, if indeed the results come out positive that I will be having this moment.

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Minsan nakapanlulumo rin. Well, choice ko naman kasi ito, but still, it doesn’t take away the fact that I feel like this right now. To regularly stay at the darker folds of the rainbow, it can wear you down, it wears me down.

Almost every weekend, I spend volunteer time sa isang HIV testing clinic. Halos walang mintis I get clients na who turn out to be positive sa HIV. It’s my job to ensure that at that moment they get to know about their status, they have someone to talk to, they are supported with the right information, the right next steps to take, etc. etc. There were quite a few times when my poz clients would instantly break down. Understandable naman. Bilang HIV is, ika nga, a lifetime achievement award. Tattoo sa dugo, walang erase-erase. Habambuhay nilang dala-dala ang katotohanang sila ay may HIV. On the one hand, it’s not all that bad, many of my poz friends lead normal, happy lives. On the other hand though, of course, it’s not the same as when you’re HIV-free. They got to deal with so much — the meds, its effects, the adjustments in lifestyle, the stigma, the major secret, the fear of being rejected, the guilt, etc. Sa madaling salita, mahirap talaga kapag may HIV.

One time, pagkatapos ng isang mahaba-habang conversation, matapos makauwi ng aking kliyente, nakatanggap ako ng text mula sa kanya.

“Salamat ha, Migs. I think this is going to be a tough battle pero kakayanin ko ito. I’m a strong person.”

“Yes, of course kaya iyan. Basta if you need someone to talk to, just let me know, ok?”

“Salamat. I really appreciate being able to talk to you. Salamat talaga. Kaya pramis kapag namatay ako, dadalawin kita.”

Yes, some of my clients have a demented sense of humor. But I guess okay na rin iyon. Ganyan naman talaga tayong mga bakla, one of our best armors is humor.

Another text conversation with another newly diagnosed PLHIV (person living with HIV) client:

“Hey Migs. Just got home from the treatment hub, had my baseline and TB tests.”

“Hey hey. Good good. O, kamusta?”

“Ayun, may TB pala ako. And since my CD4 is 148, safe to say I would have died next year had I not seen your blog. Lovely.”

So, yeah, this guy is kind of saying, “it’s tragic, but thanks.” At least that’s how I interpret it. May sarcasm na halong gratitude na halong ewan. But basically, as I always say, knowing your HIV status is still the best place to be. It may be tragic, dramatic, or whatever way you want to call it, but it still is where you have the best control of the situation. Those who have died too soon mostly knew their status too late, or never even.

Admittedly this being at the darker folds of the rainbow comes with sparks of light and bright. Andiyan ang realization na kahit papaano, nakakatulong ka. Kahit papaano, may kabuluhan ang presensiya mo sa mundong ibabaw, para nang sa gayon, kapag pumailalim ka na (sa mundong ibabaw), masasabi rin namang may nagawa kang kabutihan. Pero more than this, ang napansin ko lang ay ganito. Sa araw-araw na dumaraan, bagaman pagod at pagal sa trabaho at adbokasiya, maraming beses na hindi ko mawari kung bakit may nararamdaman akong kakaibang kaluwagan at kaginhawahan sa aking dibdib. Naisip ko, ito siguro yung tinatawag na grasya. Biyayang kahit narito ka pa man din sa lupa ay may katiting na langit nang nakasilid sa iyong kalooban.

At sa araw-araw na pa-slide-slide ko sa rainbow, sa panaka-nakang pagsiksik ko sa darker folds nito, halong maigting na pasasalamat at taimtim na panalangin ang bulong ko — sana, ikaw na nagbabasa nito, alagaan mo ang sarili mo. May nagmamahal sa iyo, at bagama’t hindi pa tayo magkakilala, asahan mong isa ako rito.

World Peace.

Love yourself dude,

Makati SEB (Screening Exclusively for Boys) — Free & confidential HIV screening at the heart of the Makati Business District, on Friday, Nov. 23, 2012, 5 PM to 2 AM. To pre-register and receive details on the discreet venue, pls go to (This event is part of Love Yourself’s HIV Triduum Event in preparation for the celebration of World AIDS Day 2012.)