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Dear Migs,

Let me start by saying how confused I am right now. Just call me Boy. I admit that I have learned to accept who I am years ago, so I thought. I’m a straight-acting bisexual, In fact, meron din akong circle of gay and bi friends and as far as I recall, minsan ginagawa akong escort ng mga gay friends ko, kunwari boyfriend nila ako, just for the sake of fun. I’ve had previous relationships with the same sex too, but as years passed by deep inside, I realize that that was not what I wanted or something like that. Then I guess that was the start of a struggle, an inner struggle, which I find most difficult to cope with. Suddenly may fear ako naramdaman, fear of discrimination, fear na mapahiya because sa mundo ginagalawan ko presently hindi declared my other side. Why I didn’t tell them in the first place? I really don’t know…

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Dear Migs!

Just wanted to commend on the success of your blog, Im one of the regular readers and comfortable reading your entries and comments and personally waiting again for you to buzzed me again when you’re in my area (San Francisco). I never thought that one day I will write to ask for an advice.

I joined a Christian community to a thought that I can be change, not….. though im trying. Just when I thought I will live a straight life when I met in the community Mac-Mac just a regular guy and not my usual type as I described him to my friends. But the guy is oozing with sex appeal. Then I remember a saying that you will never find your ideal person but instead you will be given the opposite of it and I think he is the one. Not my ideal but yet i like the person. Now the catch… he is straight again straight!

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I’ll be out for a while. Here’s a recent letter I received — unedited, verbatim. Read and help our Dubai boy while savoring the rock-hard midsection of this 21-year-old hunk from Cosmomen 2008, Ryan Garalde.

Dear Migs,

Greetings from Dubai!

I am a straight-acting gay guy. I became more discreet here because I was afraid that I might find difficulties to find friends if I show my other side. I don’t have relatives or even friends that know me that can help if in case they will not accept me. Everything was new to me and everything was so hard pretending to be like others.

After a year since I came, I woke up one morning on my colleague’s arms after a long drinking session. He was Richard, (I thought) a straight-acting like me. As far as I can remember he initiated everything.

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Hi Migs!

Oh my gosh, I don’t know how to start this…

I’m a straight woman who fell in love with a guy whom everybody thinks is gay. We were together for almost a year and I battled all my friends — straight girls, guys, gays, and lesbians — they all insisted my boyfriend is gay. But whenever we’re together he doesn’t seem gay at all. People were gossiping that he had a gay lover that he kept secretly.

Last year I broke up with him. Then I chanced upon his blogs and network profile and what I saw made me angry and hurt at the same time. He said he wasn’t gay and he loves me. He even claims he will never be in love again.

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If there’s one thing this past week that made me stop and think, ponder and reflect, it was Charlie’s letter.

I’m Charlie, turning 27 in a couple of months. I’d like to share my story with your readers… I found out about my condition (…) last year. I’m HIV positive.

His was the third I received this August, talking about being HIV-positive. His letter simply rendered me without anything to say, at least temporarily. I didn’t know how to react. It was overwhelming. I thought, if I fire off sweet, encouraging words, will that really help? Will that really make Charlie feel better about his condition? If I start playing the role of a cold jaundiced preacher, lecturing on lessons learned from Charlie’s experience and perhaps advocate “safe sex” till the cows come home, will it really make a difference? I don’t know.

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Hi Migs,

iv been a loyal visitor of ur site… i love reading blogs which are sensible and NOT into mere porn.. i happen to read ria’s article and i was moved since i somehow relate myself to Andy.. wel, im hoping that u and ur visitors could help me with my own predicament as well.. so here’s my story.. (this is reality and not a fabrication)

Im Andrew, a 20 year old and i come from a privileged family. as a child, i grew up the way things usually are for a boy. i had girl crushes wen i was in grade skul and even went thru d stage of courstships. in fact, i came thru relationship wd a girl but it failed after almost a year. i went to college and i had a serious relationship wid a model-like chick. she was a campus sweetheart and of course i was proud to have her. but d MURKY and TRAGIC story of my life started here.

my family had a new driver. he is Clint and is 5 years my senior. he is not the typical driver hu is messy and cheap looking. he actually has an appeal and cud be mistaken as a part of r family, shud he be given the proper pointers on grooming. at first, i wasn’t into him, nor was he. we started the employer-employee relationship just well. then, our personalities conived as if we were brothers by blood.

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How do you rekindle a slowly dying flame? Read on and share your thoughts on Baz’s predicament below.

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hi migs,

i’ve just been recently hooked on your site.. i am online most of the time and one night when i was bored i came across your site.. i think destiny brought me here. you see. i’m not out to anyone… maybe forever.. i’ve got my family, career, and reputation to protect.. not that i don’t respect anyone who has been out, but i just can’t deny the fact that we are still living in a very narrow-minded world.

i have a husband… we’ve been together for so long now. for me he is perfect, the kind of person who would compliment me in every way.. i am so, in my most simple term ‘maldito’ , in more ways than one, he can talk sense out of me. we are each other’s rock.. we love each other dearly and our trust for each other was never broken or threatened in any way.. when we are together, we have our own world, it coexists with the ones around us..which i think is great knowing that we are growing as a couple and as individuals.. we have hot sex all the time.. he’s my ultimate hunk.. very goodlooking. tall and most of all intelligent.. not boasting, but i am too, i just want to say it straight to be able to gain answers clearly which brings me to my predicament…

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Late bloomer – that’s the term we usually use to describe those people who explored their homosexuality a little later than usual. This is the case of JC, our letter sender for today. JC is set to get married to his girlfriend of 4 years early next year, when he recently met the to-be-wife’s gorgeous hunky cousin Daryl. In short, Daryl turned JC’s world upside down, and the to-be-husband is naturally confused. The question: should he risk his wedding plans to give himself a chance to explore his dormant homosexual tendencies? Or should he shut the feelings up, and go straight on with his heterosexual plans?

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Hi Migs,

I chance upon your site while surfing today. Wonderful site for gay people. I feel so comfortable with your site. I was able to read the letter of fatboyslim and some of the advices that were given to him by your readers (some are rude) that I decided to share to you my problem and hopefully I will be able to get some advice from you and your readers.

I am John, friends call me JC, 29 years old and currently connected with a call center here in Ortigas. I have a girlfriend for 4 years now, and we’re planning to get married early next year. I love her for God knows how long, (we’ve been together since high school) and I know she will be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The problem started last December.

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Mark of Cebu is one confused guy. He says, “I wish I was just normally gay, or normally guy.” His email below shows the extent of his confusion, and how I wish he perseveres through the stage he currently is in, and come out a stronger, and overall better person. MGG readers, please read on, and be generous with sharing your thoughts. And for those who are going through something similar as Mark, I hope you feel strengthened knowing that there are other guys who are going through the same predicament as you are, and that there are people in this supposedly cruel world who are kind enough to listen, and give a piece of their mind on the matter. World Peace!

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Hi Migs,

First of all, I am sorry if I have to use a bogus email account. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that the thought of coming out makes me sweat to some extent.
Being the Manilagayguy, I hope you could shed some light to my dilemma. By the way, you can call me Mark of Cebu (not my real name). I am now 23 years old and I am definitely at the crossroads, I am definite I am gay, to some point yes. (whether bi or not, I don’t know just yet).

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Here’s a letter, a cry for help from one of our readers, asking for advise regarding his situation. In summary, he is an OFW Nurse in the United Kingdom, in love with a Philippine-based, soon-to-get-married bum back home. I think this is one good proof that when one is in a sticky situation, the circumstances seem to be much more complicated than they really are; and when we are the one watching someone else stuck in something, it seems the situation is so simple we wonder why he chooses to remain stuck. Read on, and feel free to share your thoughts.

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Dear Migs,

i have read a lot of stories on the homo-confused section of the manila gay guy website. i know my story is quite common but i want an answer for my own problem.

i must admit that i am gay. i felt this feeling since i was in high school but never entertained it and even when i was in college. all my friends are straight and everybody in my community respects me. alam mo naman sa provinces mataas respect nila sayo if degree holder ka and you keep your feet on the ground so lahat ng friends ko and kumpares are either tricycle drivers, tambays and sunog-baga. i had 3 gf’s before, had sex with them but i enjoy more when im having sex with men. my first sexual encounter with a guy was when i was in saudi.i will not discuss the relationship into detail as he is not the subject of my problem.

i am an ofw nurse in uk, and 35 years old. i have this friend of mine, 27 years old (tambay nga) back home. he is one of my drinking buddies. we drink everywhere and go to beerhouses everytime im on my vacation. i have a crush on him but obviously i couldn’t let him know for the fear of rejection and humiliation. everytime we are drunk, i always put my hand on his shoulders or my head on his lap pretending that i’m very drunk and so at least my elbow could feel his cock. my friends sleep in my room from time to time including him.

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