Manila Gay Guy

I was listening intently to the workshop facilitator, he was intense and passionate yet almost oblivious to the power his words held. I knew he was about to say something important. And then it hit me, that question, “is there anything in your past that you have intellectually set aside — and yet, emotionally, you know it’s still there, bothering you, blocking you, preventing you from being your best self?” It hit me like electricity zapping into my chest. It zapped to life something I held dormant inside.

I know myself as someone who, if the situation called for it, can be very clinical about things, even with my personal experiences. Given, however, that chance to go back and fetch some unprocessed memories, and the threat that perhaps unconsciously, my blocks come from those I’ve arrogantly intellectually set aside — I was just so ready to admit that yes, there is this one simple emotional memory that is still there lurking, bumping, jiggling inside me. And now it is making its way to my consciousness — and I am just guessing — for a reason.
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(This post is part of the Tiburcio Series. Below is part of a letter from Tibs, a reader of this blog.)

My girlfriend’s guy friend’s name was Al. He had just arrived from the US that time, a new officemate of my girlfriend; he’s Filipino, studied there in the US but decided he wanted to try out coming back here. He was not very tall, maybe 5′7″ (I’m 5′9″) but he looked mestizo with aquiline nose, a real good looking profile, and wore eyeglasses that made him look more serious than he actually was.

I met Al when I accompanied my girlfriend during a night out in Street Life (that was across TGI Fridays and Hard Rock Cafe at the 2nd floor of Glorietta that time.) At first he was silent, at I was okay with that. The night out was a non-event. The next day, I was surprised to get a text message from him. (more…)

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