hi migs. i’ve read one of your posts…and the comments regarding bi married man having relationship with other man. i myself is married with 2 kids and is now in a relationship with an 18 yr old guy with a lot of gf’s… this is my first relationship with another man after 12 yrs of marriage..i am his first. It isnt easy for both of us…we argue a lot… because we dont know how to handle this kind of relationship. There are lots of risk for both of us. i dont want to destroy my family and jeopardize the future of my kids. and he doesn’t want to break his 5-yr relationship with one of his gf. But more than anything we are really best of friends and we don’t want to break the bond between us… we have separated a lot of times but we keep on coming back to save the relationship… sometimes i make the first move most of the time he would say sorry and try to win me back… ron
To be honest di ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahan ang email na ‘to. Uumpisahan ko ba sa tanong?
Paminsan minsan ako nagbabasa ng mga sinusulat mo sa website mo. Nagka interest ako dun sa kwento about the basketball player that you once loved (?). Sa situation ko ngayon di alam kung pareho tayo ng pinagdaanan.
Sa isang sikat na liga ng basketball ko nakilala ang basketball player na nagdulot sakin ng sobrang sakit na kabiguan. May nag aalaga na talaga sa kanya dati isang taga showbusiness pero namatay na eto kamakailan lang. Sa madaling salita naging kami habang sila pa nung taga showbusiness na yun. Maganda ang umpisa ng relasyon namin. Open sya sakin. Lahat ng tungkol sa buhay nya alam ko. Dahil nga sa kami na, I supported him sa mga pangangailangan nya.
Sweet sya at thoughtful noong una. Pag di nagtitext, nagagalit sya. Sunod sunod ang text nya hangga’t di ako nagri reply sa kanya. Dumating ung time na I need to work abroad kasi very tempting ang offer. During the first few months maganda ang takbo ng relasyon namin. Regular texting. Kung nasaan sya nagsasabi sya at sinasabi rin nya kung sino mga ksama nya .Palagi ko sya tinatwagan sa phone. Sinubukan ko sya minsan, sabi ko tapusin na namin ung relasyon namin kasi parang mahirap ang kalagayan namin kasi masyadong malayo kami sa isa’t isa. Nagmamakaawa sya. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya dahil mahal na mahal na daw nya ako. Syempre, kinilig ako sa narinig ko kaya sabi ko sige subukan natin.
He informed me na may bago syang GF. He was happy to tell me na alam daw lahat ng GF nya ung sa amin. Para daw kahit magkasama sila makakapag text sya sa akin or matatawagan ko sya. As the days went on, parang nag iiba na sya. Napansin ko umpisa nung mamatay ung taga showbusiness na karelasyon nya nagbago sya bigla. Kinausap ko sya sabi ko bakit parang may nag iba na sa kanya. Parang mainit palagi ang ulo nya sakin. Dati ang mga text nya may “love” or labyu. Tinanong ko sya bakit ganun. Ang sabi nya busy lang daw talaga sya kaya ganun.
Isang madaling araw may mga missed calls ako from her GF. Kasunod nun mga text messages na masasakit from his GF. Di ko pinatulan. I called him up and told him him about it. Pero patay malisya. He even denied the number that his GF used was not known to him. But when I told him about the text messages from his celfon. Di sya nakapagsalita. Nagalit sya bigla sakin. Hanggang sa dumating ung time na di na nya aq tinitext. Pag tinatawagan ko sya binababaan nya ako ng phone. Masakit. Palagi mainit ulo nya sa akin. Tinanong ko sya one time kung mahal pa nya ako nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. Di nya daw alam. At ayaw na daw nya sa relasyon namin. Hirap na hirap na daw sya. Palagi na lang daw syang bad trip.
Nag makaawa ako sa kanya na bigyan nya ng second chance ang relasyon namin. Ayaw na daw talaga nya. Pero pinilit ko sya. Nag agree sya. Akala ko babalik pa sa dati ung pagtitinginan namin but it turned out to be a nightmare. May nababalitaan ako na palagi sya lumalabas ng isang gay businessman ng patago kasi ang tunay na alaga nung businessman ay ung star player nyang ka teammate. Tinanong ko about it lalo syang nagalit. Wala daw pala akong tiwala sa kanya kaya dapat daw tapusin na namin ang lahat lahat. Dahil daw sa akin ang dami daw nawala sa buhay nya. Pati GF daw nya iniwanan sya dahil sa akin. Pero hanggang ngayon kung ano binibigay ko sa kanya tinatanggap pa rin nya. Mahal na mahal ko talaga sya Migz.
TAMA BA ANG GINAGAWA KO? Dapat ko pa ba ipagpatuloy ang kabaliwan kong ito? Did you feel the same way with the basketball player you had before?
I need your advice badly. Please? Thank you.
You asked, “dapat ko pa bang ipagpatuloy ang kabaliwan kong ito?” Alam mo Lakers, hango sa sabi ni Ate Maria, “ang kabaliwan hindi bine-beybi… Pinapatay.”
Huwag ka ng magpa-dribol-dribol pa sa mga eventualities na yan. Tama na ang panahon at perang ginugol mo kay Basketball Player. Napasaya ka naman niya, kinilig ka pa nga (at naihi ng three drops?). Maging thankful ka na lang sa mga nangyari. At isara mo na ang kabanatang iyan ng buhay mo, na may luha mang dumadausdos sa iyong pisngi, may ngiti namang namumuo sa iyong mga labi. Hugasan mo ang poot, palitan ito ng shining, shimmering splendor.
A new life awaits you, kumare. Marami pa tayo diyang mapapasayang lalake. Kung ako sa iyo, magkukulong lang ako sa banyo ng mga 21 minutes, inga-ngawa ko lang ito ng bonggang-bongga, tapos maligo ka. Maghilod, magsabon, ulitin pa ng 2 beses. Kunin ang shampoo. Wet hair, shampoo, rinse, and repeat. Mag-conditioner. Habang naghihintay ma-cure ang conditioner sa hair, sambitin ang mga salitang ito – “I am beautiful. I am lovely. I deserve beauty. I deserve love.” Ulitin ito nang mga 3 minutes, oo paulit-ulit, hanggang ma-cure ng husto ang conditioner sa buhok. Rinse thoroughly (para di magbalakubak sa anit.)
Step out of the shower as a renewed person. Ganyaaan. Ganyan nga. At huwag kakalimutan ang dapat ginagawa sa mga kasawian sa buhay. Ikembot lang yan at i-ngiti.
I hope you can help me Mr. MGG… well, not actually me but my friend who was my boyfriend for 12 years. (I’m a girl.)
We’re still friends though, close – at times too close (yes, we fuck) but non-comittal. I broke up with him because (for some reason) I couldn’t see myself living with him 24/7 for life.
He is a decent guy though. Loyal.
But when I broke up with him a year ago, it was only then that he revealed that he was raped at gunpoint early 2008 at KSA, Riyadh.
When he went home late 2008 I was in the US. When I came back early 2009, we met up at times and occassionaly had intercourse (for old time’s sake – – and I was horny ok.) But I was firm that I really did not see us getting married or living together as a couple.
It ws also at this time that he revealed that he was raped when he was in 2nd year high school by their male househelp who caught him watching porn. He said that the househelp threatened to tell his parents that he was watching porn & so he was blackmailed and was raped.
It only happened once after that since he always had with him a knife or was it a large wooden stick to whack the househelp if ever the househelp came near.
He said he only told me this now because he didn’t want me to think lowly of him because he felt dirty, that he always felt dirty.
The only thing I remembered him reveal early on in our relationship was that he was molested by his male gay cousin when he was in high school.
He also said – in a fit of emotional outburst – that he wanted to get married so that he could forget all these which happened to him.
He declares that he is not gay.
Currently, he is working somewhere in Manila. he said that he has an officemate whom he thinks is gay because one time, that man told him point blank while they were left alone in a room — “masarap ba umupo sa lap mo?”
My friend said he excused himself & that he left the room immediately.
I asked him why it seems he is attracting these guys? In fairness, he is attracting some girls too.
Mr. MGG, i really do not know what to ask.
I know that having same sex relations does not make one gay. (or does it?)
But how does one know if one is indeed gay? or in denial?
Could it be possible if one is gay but doesnt know it?
What do you think of the above situation? What do you think of what my friend went through?
I love him dearly, but not as a boyfriend but as a dear dear friend. I do not know how I can help him. I hope you could offer some suggestionS?
Thanks very much MGG.
With your questions, I’m quite sure you are curious to know whether or not your ex is gay. I am curious too, and perhaps tons of my readers are curious. But my heart tells me our curiosity is not what is called for right now.
Your ex, now your good friend, does not need another curious person to pry, analyze, dissect his sexuality. Clearly your friend has sustained scars that have yet to heal, and I can only wish he overcomes those traumatic life events with the least amount of damage. Given that, I’d say he needs your acceptance, understanding, and love.
We do not need to figure out everything about someone to accept him, respect him, or love him.
I wish you both the best. And if you have the chance, the next time you give him a friendly hug, can you make it just a bit tighter, just a bit longer, and can you please do it for me? “Mr. MGG” wants to give him a comforting hug without him even knowing.
Let me start by saying how confused I am right now. Just call me Boy. I admit that I have learned to accept who I am years ago, so I thought. I’m a straight-acting bisexual, In fact, meron din akong circle of gay and bi friends and as far as I recall, minsan ginagawa akong escort ng mga gay friends ko, kunwari boyfriend nila ako, just for the sake of fun. I’ve had previous relationships with the same sex too, but as years passed by deep inside, I realize that that was not what I wanted or something like that. Then I guess that was the start of a struggle, an inner struggle, which I find most difficult to cope with. Suddenly may fear ako naramdaman, fear of discrimination, fear na mapahiya because sa mundo ginagalawan ko presently hindi declared my other side. Why I didn’t tell them in the first place? I really don’t know…
Full frontal nudity among Pinoy actors was taboo in the past. Now it seems de rigueur in adult movies. There was Harold Montano in Dante Mendoza’s Urian-winning “Tirador.” Then, Coco Martin and Kristofer King in the controversial Cannes entry “Serbis,” also directed by Mendoza.
Now, Marco Morales lets it all hang out in Joel Lamangan’s “Walang Kawala,” not just once, but twice! Although the two scenes made it to the Director’s Cut, which will be screened at the censorship-free UP Film Center tomorrow, it’s highly unlikely they would be shown in the commercial run that starts Nov. 12. [Source]
[This is a contribution from MGG reader named Red. Posting it here, verbatim.]
I’d like to share my own experience, though too long for the viewers’ eyes. This is something unbelievable and could make for a good script for a movie that it could even rival the story of the Brokeback Mountain. Just to find release, I’d like to see it posted in no less than Migs’ site, so that others may be enlightened or inspired, or of whatever purpose it could serve to the readers. More importantly, my story opposes that of the twink-hungry and abusive PLU (gay) teachers’ usual portrayal by the media. Let me do it by way of using Southborder’s famous songs and the songs I’d love to listen to.
Today I received another one of those queries — it’s been a common thread among several recent questions I received in email and through SMS:
Migs, I’m a girl and I have a boyfriend who I love so dearly. I however have this horrible hunch he is gay. Please Migs, help me, how do I know if he’s gay? What are the signs? Please Migs, I want to know! Help!
So on behalf of all these confused girls who suspect that their boyfriends might be gay, I summon the kindness of MGG readers, do pitch in, how would you answer their question: how do I know if the guy’s gay?
Hello Migs. I have been a subscriber for a couple of years – in fact, when you started your chat box, we got to chat for a bit. I’m from the Bay Area, you told me you lived here for a while. Well, I finally have reason to write you a letter – the title says it all.
Yes, I have been partnered with “Dee” for 10 years now. He’s an American, a lawyer, divorced twice (he thought he was bisexual, but finally came out gay and wouldn’t have anything more to do with women), and have been told that he has Richard Gere looks. I agree. We met when I was still living in Manila and he was visiting for a conference. It was love at first sight, a la Miss Saigon. But like Chris leaving Kim, he left too – only, he came back a year later.
I’m Bashful, 27, and a reader of your blog for about two years now. I am writing to ask for your opinion about a taboo matter: exhibitionism.
I know, my nickname indicates otherwise, but aside from the risk of being exposed to the rest of the world–especially on the web–I have no problem showing my “baby anaconda” to other guys who are simply horny peeping toms. Blame it on today’s technology; in this decade almost everyone has a digicam, web cam, camera phone, etc. I am not a street flasher, but I have masturbated (or appeared with a hard-on) in internet chat rooms, and in public places such as school, public transport, malls, workplace, etc.
Val Mante is one truly revolutionary gay man — and this post was written in honor of him. More than 3 years ago, he was at the frontpage of the Inquirer, as one-half of the first married gay couple of the CPP-NPA. Read on.
Reds officiate first gay marriage in NPA
By Rolando B. Pinsoy
Inquirer News Service
Philippine Daily Inquirer, Feb, 7, 2005
DARE to struggle, dare to win … as married gays. After raiding a few Army camps, two communist guerrillas hid in a forest gorge and fell in love.
That was three years ago. On Friday, under a romantic drizzle in a muddy clearing in Compostela Valley province in Mindanao, Ka Andres and Ka Jose exchanged vows in a heavily guarded ceremony before local villagers, friends from the city and their comrades in arms.