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Here is an exchange of letters between two boyfriends in a long distance relationship — one is Aljor a seafaring engineer, and the other, my blogging friend Dencio, the one who was left behind waiting for Aljor. (Aljor spends 9 months on board, and 3 months here in Manila. The contract ends 5 years from now.) Read through their exchange and share your thoughts on Dencio’s situation — should he keep waiting for Aljor? Or should he give it up, break it up?

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(Puerto Galera, 22 March 2008.) Whiling away the time before partying last night here in what seems to be the gay ghetto this time of year, gay friends and I were talking about random stuff over spiked Four Seasons. Then, Jim (not his real name), a newcomer to the group decided to open up to us his newfound gay friends. His was an amazing story —

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Nutella, our featured reader-lettersender, asks Migs if it is okay to have a boypren-boyprenan, a trophy boyfriend, someone to help one get by emotionally, mentally, and physically while waiting for Mr. Right. The naturally conservative guy in me shouts “noooo!” as the idea violates the sanctity of a relationship based on true love, and therefore (in my mind), exclusivity brought about not by unbridled selfishness but by the soul’s innate need for a unique and singular focus from the other party. But because I have a healthy skepticism of my own opinion, I’d let you dear MGG readers share your own, perhaps contrary, opinion.

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Hi Migs,

Greetings of love and world peace! Let me start by saying that I’m a big fan of your blog. Through it, I have gained more knowledge and a better understanding of what it’s like to be a gay man. I can safely say that I’m a well-experienced gay man myself. By well-experienced, I mean that I have, at least once in my life, tried most of the things that gay men can only imagine (or dream of) doing.

Inspite of and despite my experiences, I still consider myself a lonely man. I have been through a lot and after my promiscuity stage and 3 failed relationships, I now belong to the Tribe of the Jaded. And this is where I come to you to seek advice and ideas from you and your readers about my current state of mind.

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Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.

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dear migs,

i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.

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worried-woman.jpgDearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.

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Here is an email I received from Q, an MGG reader. What a tragic way of coming out! Read and learn a lesson or two… and leave Q a message too — he’s just so kind to share his story for all of us to learn from. Love you all and world peace!

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Dear Migs,

This is the first time I’m emailing a complete stranger and the first time I’m sharing events of my life, but I feel this is something every gay guy (closeted or not) should know and be warned about.

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