PART 1 – Listen: (18 minutes) [Part 2 is here]

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Migs: ano balita sa iyo bading
Roland: ETO BADING PA RIN
Migs: i know!
Migs: tell me something i dont know noh!
Roland: HAHAHAHA
Roland: HAPY P*KPEK AKO TEH
Migs: ayyyy!
Migs: kuwento ka tehhh
Roland: TEH PINASOK KO ANG LUNNGGA NG LANGIT AT TLGA PALANG NAPAKASAYA
Migs: hahaha
Migs: ayyyy
Migs: ansaya naman teh
Roland: UU TEH REMEMBER THE LASTIME NA SABI KO SAU NA MAY NADISCOVER AKO PARANG FARENHEIT DITO
Roland: JOSKO 24 HOURS OPEN
Migs: ay galeng naman
Migs: then ano nangyari
Migs: dapat blow by blow account itu
Roland: TEH MAS MAGANDA KUNG VOCAL
Migs: ay ganun
Migs: sige
Migs: may skype ka?
Roland: CGE ETO UNA
Roland: WAG TEH ANDITO MGA PAMNGKIN KO
Migs: ay zayang
Migs: na excite naman ako
Roland: PAGPASOK KO MAY SCREENING
Migs: ay go
Migs: paano ang screening
Roland: DI KO NAKIKITA KAUSAP KO SA COUNTER KC INVISIBLE MIRROR
Roland: OR MAGIC MIRROR BA TAWAG DUN
Migs: then…
Roland: OK PASADO PASOK NKO
Migs: nice…
Migs: then?
Roland: SA LOCKER PA LANG DAMI NA MGA SUMISILIP TINITIGNAN NILA KUNG SINU MGA BAGO DATING
Roland: SYMPRE THE FRESH THE DELICIOUS DEVA
Migs: ayyy kaexcite!
Migs: mga japanese ito?
Roland: YEZ ATE
Roland: 3 KAAGAD NA ISPATAN KO HAPON
Migs: ay goooo
Migs: tapos?
Roland: KAYA AGAD AKO NAGSHOWER
Roland: KC SUPER EXCITED NKO BAKA MAUNAHAN PKO SA MINA
Migs: hahaha
Migs: then
Roland: TAPOS BIGLA KUMALAM TYAN KO BUSET TLGA
Roland: SYMPRE NATAE PKO
Migs: anoveh!
Roland: KAYA TUMAE MUNA AKO
Roland: KAKAMADALI BAKA MAUNAHAN AKO SA MINA MAY NAIWAN TISUE PA SA PWET KO
Migs: kadiri naman
Roland: NKALIMUTAN KO MAGSHOWER ULIT AT MAGHUGAS
Migs: yaaaak
Roland: AYUN KC SUPER EXCITED AKO SA MINA PASOK NKO SA KWEBA
Migs: tapos?
Roland: KABADONG KABADO AKO
Roland: HINAHANAP KO NA YUNG MGA NAISPATAN KO
Migs: maliwanag naman sa kuweva?
Roland: WALA KC MGA PINTO ANG MGA ROOM CURTAIN LNG
Roland: RED LIGHT SYA TEH NA MEDYO DARK
Migs: ah ok
Migs: then
Roland: AYUN NKITA KO YUNG 1ST SPOT KO MAY KAKANGKANGAN NA
Migs: ay!
Migs: as in, kangkangan nga?
Roland: UU TEH
Roland: GUSTO KO SANA MAKIJOIN KASO NAHIYA AKO
Roland: THEN ALIS N LNG AKO IKOT ULIT AKO SA PARANG PUZZLE
Migs: tapos>
Roland: NKITA KO YUNG 2ND SPOT KO ANG GWAPO TLGA MDYO MATURED NA DADDY PERO INLUV AKO ANG GANDA NG MATA HAPON NA HAPON NA STOCKY
Migs: ay gooow
Roland: UU TEH ANG PUTA BAGONG PASOK PLA
Roland: SO FRESH ANG LOLO MO
Migs: ay ansarap
Roland: PAREHO KAMI MAINIT
Migs: yum yum
Roland: ANG LAKI NG BOSES TEH PARANG YAKUZA
Migs: ay ay ay
Migs: then?
Roland: SABI BA NMN SKIN DAIJOBU DESKA???
Roland: KUNG OK LNG BA DAW ANG SABI KO NAMN HAI DAIJOBU DESU
Migs: woooow
Migs: boom na boom!
Roland: AY HINILA NYA KAMAY KO
Migs: goooo
Roland: AYUN PAGPASOK NMN SA RUM JOSKO DI PA NGA AKO NAKAKAUPO AY BINUGBOG NA KO SA HALIK GUTOM NA GUTOM ANG KUPAL
Migs: ayyyyyyy
Migs: boom tiyaya boom tiyaya BOOM!
Roland: JOSKO TEH HINUBAD NYA BRIEF KO AT PINATALIKOD BIN*R*TSA ANG PW*T KO
Roland: NAPANGIWI N LNG AKO
Migs: oh my gooood
Migs: di naman sha nagreact????
Roland: AS IN TEH HINIHINTAY KO ANG REACTION NYA
Migs: sheeeeet
Roland: NAGULAT NA LNG AKO NG TINANUNG NYA SABI NYA MASARAP BA?
Roland: NAGULAT AKO
Migs: (literal na SHEEEET)
Roland: ANG SABI KO NA LNG SORRY PERO UU
Migs: tapos? kinangkang ka teh?
Roland: AY TINULOY NYA LNG TEH
Roland: HINDI PA YUN
Migs: anoooo
Roland: 30 MINUTES ATA AKO TS*NUPA NUN
Migs: shet
Roland: MUKHANG GUTOM NA GUTOM TLGA
Migs: wet wet na ako
Roland: NAIINIS NKO KC GUSTO KO AKO NMN ANG TS*MUPA
Migs: how big is his
Roland: EDI BUMANGON NKO KAHIT AYAW NYA PA
Roland: AYUN HINUBARAN KO AT HINDI PLA LAHAT NG HAPON EH JUTAY
Roland: MATABA ANG KANYA TEH AT MAHABA PERO SUP*T
Migs: ay ansaaayaaaaa
Roland: NAEXCITE AKO 1ST TIME KO SA SUP*T
Migs: hahaha
Roland: MASRAP PALA TEH LARUIN ANG SUP*T
Migs: tapos????
Roland: AYUN TEH BIGLA HUMIGA AT TINAAS ANG PAA MAGPAPATIRA
Migs: oh my
Migs: inunahan ka teh!
Roland: UU NGA NABADTRIP AKO
Migs: shet
Migs: sana ako na lang anjan
Roland: PERO LIBOG NA LIBOG AKO SA KANYA LALAKING LALAKI
Migs: titirahin ko sha ng bonggang bongga
Roland: AYUN TEH YUN ANG AKALA KO
Migs: then?
Roland: NUNG TAPOS NAKO SA KANYA HINDI PA SYA NAGPALABAS AKALA KO MAGJ*KOL N LNG SYA AY TEH AKO NMN ANG PINATUWAD
Roland: BADTRIP DB
Migs: ay
Migs: so binotom mo sha, then ikaw naman…
Roland: GNUN N NGA TEH
Migs: teh question
Migs: may condom?
Roland: PRO NIREREJECT NG PW*T KO TEH AYAW PUMASOK
Roland: SYMPRE TEH ANDUN LNG ANG CONDOM MISMO SA RUM
Roland: PICK LNG KAU
Migs: ginamit mo ba naman
Roland: UU TEH MAHIRAP NA EH
Roland: ATSAKA SAFE DIN CLA KC AYAW DIN NILA NG WALANG CONDOM
Migs: eh di maluwag sa iyo ang condom?
Roland: P*TANG INA MO
Migs: hahaha
Migs: sori, nagtatanong lang
Migs: masama magtanong???
Roland: SORI TINALI KO SYA MAIGI
Migs: hahaha
Roland: PARA DI MAIWAN SA LOOB
Roland: ETO NA ANG ENDING
Migs: go
Roland: DI NA NYA KO NA F*CK KC DI MAPASOK LAKI KC SA KNYA KAYA PINATS*PA NYA N LNG SKIN HABANG NAKALUHOD AKO AT NAKATAYO SYA ANG INGAY NYA TEH ANG LAKI NG BOSES
Roland: NILIBUGAN AKO ULIT
Migs: then
Roland: PERO GUSTO KO IRESERVE PARA MAY ISA PA
Roland: AYUN PINUTOK SA MUKHA KO NAKA-MUDPACK TULOY AKO NG DI ORAS
Migs: ayyyy ansaya
Migs: bongga ka atiii
Roland: THEN SHOWER NA KO DI KO NA SYA NAKITA YOSI LNG SAGLIT TPOS PASOK AKO ULIT
Roland: MAY NKITA AKO ANINO SA KURTINA
Roland: NILAPITAN KO
Migs: then?
Roland: AKALA KO C NICK CARTER NG BACKSTREET BOYS KILALA MO B YUN?
Migs: ay sosyal
Migs: puti? hindi jap?
Roland: KAMUKHA NYA
Roland: HINDI TEH
Roland: RUSSIAN TEH
Migs: ayyyyy
Migs: go
Roland: TEH BUMUKA N NMN ANG P*K PEK KO 1ST TIME KO SA RUSSIAN
Roland: AY ANG SARAP SPEECH LESS AKO
Migs: wow
Migs: di sha mashadong biggie?
Roland: BOTOMESA TEH
Migs: ay
Roland: TEH TAMA LNG
Migs: akala ko ikaw ang na-bottom
Roland: MATABA
Roland: HINDI NGA TEH
Roland: KAYA NGA NABADTRIP AKO]
Migs: anoveh
Migs: wala bang top jan?
Roland: ANU BA LAHAT BA NG TAO DITO BOTOMESA
Roland: AYUN EDI MGA 3AM N ATA NUN NATULOG NKO
Roland: PAGOD NKO
Migs: ay may tulugan jan?
Roland: KC NUN
Roland: PURO UNGOL NA LNG MGA NARIRINIG KO AT SIGAWAN ANG NARIRINIG KO NARIRINDI NKO
Roland: UU TEH ACTUALLY MARAMI TAO SA LATE NIGHT KC GINGWA TULUGAN NG MGA PUTA PAMPALIPAS NG GABI KC WALA NG TRAIN
Migs: ansaya
Roland: AYUN ETO HABANG NATUTULOG AKO NAGIGICING N LNG AKO BIGLA MAY KAKAPA SA ET*TS KO
Roland: MAY NANGHIHIPO
Migs: hehehe
Roland: MAY SUMUSUSO SA D*D* KO
Roland: MAY SUMUSUBO NG T*TE KO
Roland: PARA NGA AKO KARINDERYANG BUKAS SA MGA GUTOM
Migs: ok naman itsura nila?
Roland: PERO DEDMA LNG AKO NUN TEH ANTOK NA ANTOK AKO NUN PINABABAYAAN KO LNG CLA
Roland: DI KO TEH NAANINAG KC NAKATAKIP NG TOWEL FACE KO GINAWA KO YUN KC NAKAKANGANGA AKO MATULOG BAKA MATURN OFF ANG MGA BAYOT
Roland: hoy bakla atin atin lng toh ha
Migs: oo naman teh
Roland: dedma na chika sa mga bayut
Migs: o gusto mo i-publish ko sa mgg?
Roland: uu pero iba name
Migs: hahaha sige
Roland: title HATTENBA sa japan o deva
Migs: ano hattenba?
Roland: HATTENBA MEANING HOT SAUNA AND BATH SINCE WALA NMN SYA SAUNA HOT NA LNG TAPOS BAT
Migs: ah
Migs: oki
Roland: YUN ANG TAWAG SA MGA GANUNG PLACE DITO
Migs: ah ok
Roland: SHINJUKU CITY YUN ANG CAPITAL NG MGA BAKLA DITO
Roland: JOSKO MERON CLA RED LIGHT STREET DITO
Migs: wow
Migs: oy pag punta ko jan samahan mo ko ha
Roland: TEH NOW KNA PUMUNTA UUWI NKO KAYA JAN
Roland: NAGGYM AKO GUSTO KO READY AKO PAGBALIK KO JAN
Migs: kelan ka uwi dito
Roland: BKA JULY TEH
Migs: how long ka dito
Roland: FOREEVER NA TEH NAGIIPON LNG AKO PANGBUSINESS KO
Migs: ah ganun
Migs: so di mo na itutuloy ang studies mo jan?
Roland: AYOKO NA TEH
Roland: MAHIRAP
Migs: ah talaga
Roland: ATSKA NAKAKAMATAY ANG LUNGKOT NAWALA NA YUNG WILLINGNESS KO MAGARAL
Migs: sige uwi ka na dito
Migs: happy happy tayo dito sa meynila
Roland: ANG BILIS NG PANAHON NOH
Roland: AYAW KO NA TEH DITO LOST NA LOST NA BEAUTY KO DITO
Migs: ahhhh
Migs: i understand
Migs: eh sa US, ayaw mo na rin?
Roland: AANUHIN MO ANG PERA
Roland: KUNG WALA NMN PAGIBIG
Migs: hahaha
Migs: korek ka jan
Migs: go
Migs: ateh
Migs: sabihan mo ako pag uuwi ka
Migs: sunduin kita sa airport
Roland: WOW NMN TEH NAKAKAHIYA NMN
Migs: sabi nga, what friends are for!
Roland: WALANG KASING SAYA ANG BUHAY JAN SA PINAS
Migs: namanz!
Roland: MAIKLI LNG ANG BUHAY NTIN DAPT IENJOY
Migs: tama ka jan bakla, i super agree
Roland: AANHIN PA ANG DAMO KUNG GURANG KNA
Roland: DEVA?
Migs: hahaha
Migs: parang iba yata yung kasabihang yun ah hahaha
Migs: oi
Migs: sige na
Migs: dinner time na dito
Migs: ikaw kumain ka na jan
Roland: O CGE NA TEH INGAT
Migs: tenx for the kuento
Migs: o sha
Migs: sige na
Roland: CGE PO
Migs: babush

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Wanna see Joseph Izon’s love bird? :p

Joseph Izon’s Lovebirds –

Here comes another film that will touch your heart, you will cry and love till the end.

LOVEBIRDS starring Ms.Boots Anson Roa, Tommy Abuel, Joseph Izon and introducing Andres Alexis Fernandez. Its a story of Alexis and Mario. Alexis is a foreigner who came to the Philippines to meet his chat mate Mario. As a filipino culture, visitors are welcome by family host with welcoming party of food, fiesta and people. When Alexis visited Mario, Mario’s parents told to the neighborhood that Alexis is a girl, but surprisingly it was Alex. Mario’s mother denied that he was Alexis and introduced him as Alex the brother of Alexis to the neighborhood. His parents known about Mario’s sexuality until at the end Alexis become closer and fell inlove with Mario. With all the laugh and cry. A story of a foreigner in another country , different culture, and acceptance of love will have all a happy ending.

Directed by RONNIE BERTUBIN – director of the critically-acclaimed gay film “SIKIL” and “KURAP”

Trailer:

Photo credits: Dan Santos Photography

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Just wanted to commend on the success of your blog, Im one of the regular readers and comfortable reading your entries and comments and personally waiting again for you to buzzed me again when you’re in my area (San Francisco). I never thought that one day I will write to ask for an advice.

I joined a Christian community to a thought that I can be change, not….. though im trying. Just when I thought I will live a straight life when I met in the community Mac-Mac just a regular guy and not my usual type as I described him to my friends. But the guy is oozing with sex appeal. Then I remember a saying that you will never find your ideal person but instead you will be given the opposite of it and I think he is the one. Not my ideal but yet i like the person. Now the catch… he is straight again straight!

We first met and introduced in a sports bar January this year, and first topic that we are talking our girls from the other side of the pool table. Well I have a fair share of stories and gigs when it comes to girls. Then what bonded as most is a common hobby of ours, photography. One day I was surprised when I received an instant message on my messenger from him. Since then we will exchange IM’s all day we will chat anything as in anything under the sun. We will talk about our ex gfs, he even introduced me to one of his ex GF in LA. Then voice chats from the time I step in my office down to the time I will be off we are talking. We even have a pet name for each other (which instead of calling ‘pare’, ‘dude’ or ‘bro’) we had created one for us.

There are 7 guys in our group (barkada) it is usually you have a favorite friend among the group. One day he teases me that I was always linked with the other boys (its our internal joke) then I joke back saying “so nag seselos ka?” then he bluntly said “no” then I fired him back “meron ka naman roy ” (roy one of our barkada) he didn’t say anything.

As we go along, our friendship become closer and closer we will fight with simple things, he will let me know when he feels discomfort physically and emotionally, from saying goodbye and ingat when we are departing. Our friends are noticing it because when we have misunderstanding they will notice that we are not talking to each other and they would joke us that we are having LQ. One of the guys described it as (Hindi na lang kayo mag papansinan bigla pag katapos naman para kayong mag syota pag nag kabati) we will just laugh around.

The mixed signals, im not sure if im interpreting the signals wrong but I know I can differentiate regular buddies body language from those with a meaning. He always complain about me of having short attention with things then I joked by saying “hayaan mo pag nagging tyo ull have my undivided attention” then we just both laughed. Then few days after that he asked me “can I have your undivided attention” then I asked him “bakit tayo na ba?” then he said “no” I replied “binu-busted mo ako?” then he laughed and proceed to his question. We have a lots of incidence that are really mind boggling and it can go long with this email.

Migs, I had played this game with other straight guys and prove that they are bi and others just died down and stayed as friends. Im starting to like wait let me say LOVE mac-mac. Day by day its growing, the pressure is building up here in my heart, I want to tell him my feelings but im afraid that it will be turn down and worst we wont be friends and what will our friends will say when they found out and the community that are totally against same sex relationship.

Hope you or your readers (if you choose to post this) can share their point of view on these.

Thanks!
Supladong Pogi

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Yes, I have been partnered with “Dee” for 10 years now. He’s an American, a lawyer, divorced twice (he thought he was bisexual, but finally came out gay and wouldn’t have anything more to do with women), and have been told that he has Richard Gere looks. I agree. We met when I was still living in Manila and he was visiting for a conference. It was love at first sight, a la Miss Saigon. But like Chris leaving Kim, he left too – only, he came back a year later.

Over the course of 2 years, when he went back to the US and I continued my life in Manila (I was doing my grad school at UP Diliman while teaching at UP Manila), we had a long distance relationship. We emailed each other everyday, phoned each other weekly, and yes, even had phone sex once in a while. This was 10 years ago. We now live together here in California and have a happy, fulfilled life. I can’t ask for more: Dee is very supportive and understanding; loving and caring. The sex life is great!

Only, we have a 21-year age gap. That really did not bother me at all – it did bother some of my friends. Over the years, because of his background in racial conflict as a lawyer, he knew he had to bridge the age gap if we were to become equal as partners in our relationship. I would say what really helped is that we work together professionally and therefore, we get to see each other not only in the light of our personal relationship but also as two capable individuals in our work sphere. When we met, I was a virgin – yes, believe it or not, I was still a virgin at the age of 27. I fell in love with mostly straight boys and of course, they were all unrequited love. But that’s all in the past – I’m happily partnered with Dee.

And happily involved with Andrew. Just half a year ago, Dee thought that he doesn’t want me to grow old (I’m now 37) and regret that I never had any relationship with other men. He was willing to explore an open relationship – only for me, he himself is satisfied with me as his partner. So, after thinking about it hard (I am no longer a practicing Catholic and therefore, the Catholic guilt is not an issue), I posted an online personals ad. That’s how I met Andrew: a handsome, blue-eyed, blonde 46-year old American psychotherapist; of dancer’s built (he dances, bikes and hikes to keep fit); sweet; charming; and basically, a dream. We started going out together – he knows I am partnered and will always have Dee as my primary partner, but needed to experience having a boyfriend to enrich my personal life. We go out to movies; he takes me to parties; and yes, we have become intimate sexually. All of these Dee knows. In fact, they’ve met already – when Andrew had an art show (he also paints). Andrew thanked Dee for being flexible – and Dee said that he had to be because of the big age gap. They both said it was a warm meeting.

It feels good to be 17 again – and not have the baggage of youth. Also, it feels good to have a boyfriend – and not think of “what if”. I don’t have to worry about the future – I already have the future (Dee) mixed with the present (Andrew). I am enjoying both worlds.

I am not saying this is for everybody, Migs. It is not. And you know what, I think the only reason this works is because Andrew himself is in a committed, open relationship with another man. They have been together for 26 years. How post-modern, don’t you agree? Andrew goes out with me because right now, he and Ty are on a trial separation: they haven’t had sex with each other for the last 10 years. Andrew, in short, is with me in order to satisfy his need for intimacy.

We’ve been going out for a couple of months now – and its still a bliss. I know, like all dreams, I will eventually wake up. And when I do, I know it would be next to Dee – reminiscing my time with Andrew in quiet dreamlike.

Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you can share it with your many subscribers.

Yours,
Ronald

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[Here's another contribution from Lex Bonife.]

�asl, pare?�

Halos trenta na ako. Pero mukha pa ring bente kwatro.
Sa gym, araw araw nagbubuhat.
Bago matulog, nakatapal na ang moisturizer sa mukha ko.

Alam mo naman ang sex ko pare!
Noong kinse ako, straight ako. Hilig ko na ang magpachupa sa bading kong kaklase.

Noong ako�y disi-otso, straight curious ako, sarap makipag-jack off kasama ang mga barkada ko sa basketball
Noong bente uno ako, bi na ako. Isa-isa ko nang sinususo ang burat ng mga frat mates ko.
Pagdating ko ng bente sinko, tang ina, discreet na ako.
Ang sarap naman pala kasi magpa-bottom lalo na pagdire-diretso ang pag-ulos sa puwet mo.

Location ? Dito lang ako malapit sa Malate.
Pagbaba ng apartment, marami nang makikipagtitigan sa iyo.
Malapit lang ang sinehan, sa loob marami nang tatabi sa iyo.
At kapag gabi naman, the best ang night life � sayawan, inuman, chupaan, kantutan.

�Ano ba trip mo, pare�

Kahit anong trip, kaya kong sakyan.
Gusto mo bang isubo ang burat ko sa ilalim ng puno sa may Roxas boulevard? Game ako diyan!
May jowa ka ba? Gusto niyo ba ng threesome, tirahin ako habang sinusubo ang titi ng jowa mo? Go ako diyan!
Orgy ba ang gusto mo, lahat tayo nakahubad sa loob ng isang kuwarto ng hotel, kanya kanyang dakma kung sino ang type mo, kanya-kany kanyang luhod sa lalakeng gusto mo, okay tayo diyan!
O baka naman gusto mo ng romansa, dahan dahang halikan, mahihigpit na yakap dagdagan mo pa ng mga pabulong na pangako ng pag-ibig, kayang-kaya ko rin yan!

�Wanna Cum?�

I can always cum. Sa loob, sa labas. Sa mukha, sa dibdib.
Tahimik, Umuungol, Sa loob ng condom o sa sahig.
Sa bawat labas ko, ako�y nanginginig.
Mas maganda kung sasabihin mo ang pangalan ko
Mas masarap kapag patuloy mo akong sinususo.
Mas enjoy basta sabay tayo, saang sulok ka man ng mundo.

�gtg, tol!�

Tol, salamat din sa oras mo.
Sana nasarapan kang tingnan ang malibog kong katawan.
Sana naman at hindi mo ni-record ang aking paghuhubad.
At nang hindi mo ito maikalat sa ibang uhaw sa kabastusan

Sana hindi mawala ang pagnanasa mo sa akin.
At palagi mong maalala kung gaano ako kasarap magpalibog sa harap ng webcam.

Dahil alam ko namang hindi laging ganito ang buhay natin.
Isang araw magigising tayo, hindi na natin kayang maghubad sa harap ng sinuman.
Mag-iiba na ang hubog ng ating balat at katawan
Ang tawag ng ating mga laman, papatahimikin na ng panahon.
Mauubos ang ating sarap, siningil na ng bawat minuto at taon.

CREDITS:
Lex Bonife is the screenwriter of Filipino gay films “Ang Lihim ni Antonio” (Antonio’s Secret) and “Ang Lalake sa Parola” (The Man in the Lighthouse). He blogs at www.lexuality.com

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I’m Bashful, 27, and a reader of your blog for about two years now. I am writing to ask for your opinion about a taboo matter: exhibitionism.

I know, my nickname indicates otherwise, but aside from the risk of being exposed to the rest of the world–especially on the web–I have no problem showing my “baby anaconda” to other guys who are simply horny peeping toms. Blame it on today’s technology; in this decade almost everyone has a digicam, web cam, camera phone, etc. I am not a street flasher, but I have masturbated (or appeared with a hard-on) in internet chat rooms, and in public places such as school, public transport, malls, workplace, etc.

The very first time that I’ve tried close to “exposing” myself was when I was in high school in the late 90s, when my parents bought a handy video camera. I filmed myself a mini porn clip, pleasuring myself in the video. It was extremely titillating yet guilt-inducing experience. I was about 14 years old then, and I let the Video8 tape record till I came. I watched my amateur porn clip over and over, and found myself aroused by myself doing it on film. As a child, I’d realized that my dick size was above average because I’ve seen my classmates’ dicks during PhysEd classes. On video, I was quite pleased with my private part’s magnified image. However, since it was also strange for a kid to be doing that, I quickly deleted the clip after multiple playback.

When camera phones and digicams became standard, especially during this decade, I found myself taking photos of my hard dick. (I know a lot of people–straight or gay–have done that, too.) Most of my pictures were taken when I was extremely horny. I would save the images in my computer, and I’d exchange nude pics with other guys that I meet. When MMS became cheap, I also started swapping photos of my cock through mobile phones with other guys. The recipients would salivate at the my pictures, and it would please me to no end. The idea of other guys enjoying my cock’s photos or videos and using my images as masturbatory inspiration had made (and still makes) me super horny. I’ve taken photos of my jacking off in my bedroom, in the car, the bus, in a public restroom, etc. I’ve deleted the bulk of them, but kept some for myself, and to share with other guys later. Please know that I am not in-love with myself or my dick (God, I wish I had a better body, like Dennis Trillo’s), but it really excites me whenever I think I can be seen by other guys (especially the cute ones) with my hard-on or while masturbating.

Often, I have masturbated in cinemas (mostly in the Ortigas & QC areas, but never in those dingy theaters ha!), strategically positioning myself to hide from the film-goers/guards/cinema staff, but tactically allowing myself to be “accidentally exposed” to guys with cock on their minds. I’ve been given a blow job in the movie house as well, and Ive let other guys watch it being done for me, and/or they wait to participate in it later on. (I know, that’s a dangerous thing to do in the cinema, but thankfully, I’ve never been hurt by anyone nor caught by the roving guards). I’ve had a hard-on while changing clothes in the university gym, and let other students see it. I have jerked off in the bus, and taken pictures of myself. If there’s another horny guy riding the same bus, I probably have done it in his presence to “entertain” him. (Hey, I’m a people-pleaser, in a perverted kind of way.) Heck, back in college during ROTC, there were times that I chose not to wear underwear and went commando, and I remember that some of the guys had noticed my bulge, especially when “baby anaconda” got a little excited with all the rubbing.

A few years ago, I have once posted some photos of my hard cock in one of those “rate this dick” websites, just for kicks (I had them removed later). I also have experienced chatting on YM and on a popular sex chat room with web cam, and have performed sporadic “shows” there, receiving extremely “encouraging” comments to continue titillating the guys over and over (and many times, indecent proposals). Whenever I do “shows”, I feel obligated to entertain the horny gay population in a particular chat room. The bad thing is, sometimes I forget that people can also record those video feeds, and there’s a possibility that I may be exposed on The Buzz someday. (I actually have a friend who’d been videotaped and whose video had been uploaded to Xtube without his consent, which he later settled with the website administrators. Interestingly, I have uploaded a couple of my own triple-X videos on Xtube–again just for kicks–but those videos don’t show my face in order to protect my identity. Just the thought of hundreds of gay guys across the globe can view my dick still excites me to the bone. I’d give you the link, Migs, if you’re interested. Ha ha!)

Just recently, I came out to a new gay acquaintance who I knew has a crush on me, so that I could show him my hard cock pictures and jack-off videos (an act which he appreciated so much, even if he has a boyfriend). That makes me a little guilty, though, turning him into a sex slave and all (his terminology, not mine), but I always choose to skip that feeling whenever I’m horny and I just want to share my throbbing dick to a needy gay guy. Even my best friend (who knows about my orientation) has seen my dick photos and videos in my mobile–unintentionally, of course–when he was checking out my phone. He didn’t judge me, but he wanted me to be more careful with those images and protect myself (a very good advice, actually).

I am a well-educated yet bashful and private person (I have received undergraduate and postgraduate diplomas from two of the top four universities in our country) with a Catholic upbringing. Most people still think of me as an introverted nerd. But I am also a “sexhibitionist”, in a way that I get really turned on by exposing myself to other (preferably similarly cute, discreet, gay) guys, jacking off and cumming in their presence. So, I’m a walking dichotomy. (As Britney would sing, “I’m not that innocent.”) Is that so bad?

Thanks for taking time to read my letter.

Best regards,
Bashful

Hi Bashful,

No worries, you’re good. I’m sure the folks here are eager to see that anaconda of yours. Hahaha!

Migs

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“Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.

It was the 30th day of my birthday month, though still in the middle of the week, the following day was the end of Ramadan and thus was declared a holiday. I got nothing to do that payday afternoon and so I decided to just hang around. Walking along Timog / Tomas Morato area with no one and with literally nothing to do, I decided to go to one of my favorite spa places and pamper myself with an hour and a half long massage.

So I went inside, had a short talk with the receptionist. I asked her if there were not too many people inside, and was delighted to hear her say “di naman matao sir, tama lang.” at least I’m not alone, and neither is it too crowded…

Well I went in, and saw a bunch of decent looking blokes (Though it pissed me that a number of them are drooling over those who just came in, and even went to as far as following you to the shower. But nevertheless it was an okay crowd.)

Just as any ordinary spa guy would do, I took off my clothes placed the towel around my waist and went straight to the shower area. There were a few gays staring but I couldn’t care less. Had a nice warm shower facing the wall / dividers; I was indeed having a nice time. After that, I went in the dry sauna area. After a few minutes I decided to give the massage a “go”. None of my favorite masseurs were available at the time, but then the newbie (at least for me) didn’t fail me. He has a good warm pair of hands, and it was a definite relief from all the stress I had from work this past week.

After the massage, I decided to take a shower again to wash off the oil. After that, I was planning to leave the place for coffee, but then, when I checked my phone, it was then too early. So I stayed… went back to the shower area, then to the sauna room. On my way to the sauna, I saw a few guys on the Jacuzzi but did not pay much attention. I went inside and alienated myself from the rest of the group by wearing a silly slightly frowning face. It was as if I had a “F*** OFF” sign tattooed in my forehead. Nobody dared talk to me, and so I was relieved.

Fifteen to thirty minutes have passed and so I decided to shower off the sweat… This is when I saw “him” in the Jacuzzi. It was a familiar face, and so I thought. But then the “straight guy” ruled over me and didn’t give a damn. I went straight to the shower area, and, well… showered.

But after a while, this occurred to me, “he was the same guy from two Saturdays ago…” I had a silly sort of “attraction” with this almost bald guy, a slight scar on his cheek, with a decent built. And it was my second time seeing him in the same spa. Little did I care about the other guys, I just wanted to know for sure if he was that same guy I once saw and was attracted to… So I went in the tub with him and seated at the far end of the corner. I was trying to glance at him every once in a while to validate if it was really him, so by then, I was sure he was. I’m sure he was also glancing back, but then we wouldn’t let each other catch that we were…

And so it went on, we were taking a quick look at each other if chance permits. I went in the sauna, after a while he was there too. When I shower, he’s there at times… but nothing really happened besides that.

After a few while, I noticed that the crowd was getting a bit thick, and so I decided to leave. I went out of the wet area to change clothes. He followed… sat at one corner of the waiting lounge, got his phone as if sending a text message. It’s as if he was saying “hey, can I get your number?” I didn’t know what to do… none of this sort has happened to me yet. And so I did not change at once… and lingered for quite a bit. Teasingly, I put on only my boxer briefs with a towel almost wrapped around my shoulder, went in front of the mirror and put gel on my hair. I thought… “hey, I’m sending all the right signals, when will you make a move?” after quite a while, there were already number of guys staring at me, so I felt a bit conscious… so I went on putting on my pants and shirt and prepared to leave. I was in front of my locker (it was 222) when he sat beside me. I thought he was finally making a move, but then again, I assumed too much. He was there because his locker was just right next to me, his was 223.

I didn’t know what got into me, but I could have sworn, I wanted so much to get his number, but then I can’t just simply ask. He was still there lingering, and so am I, as if we were waiting for each other to step forward. So I did… I took a piece of paper, wrote down my first name and my number, and thought that it would be simpler if I just handed it to him. But then, I can’t. So I took my chances, and just left the paper inside my locker beside his. But I made sure that he knew that I left something there.

I went on my way hoping he would indeed get in touch. There was a coffee shop at the same building, I stayed there and met up with my boss, she also is a good friend of mine… and she had something bothering her that night… so we decided to talk it over a cup of coffee. While we were chatting, I received a text message “****?” – (my first name, sorry, I refuse to divulge that info) it was from an unfamiliar number. So I replied: “yes? I’m sorry but may I know who this is?” he replied “Why did you leave early?” I texted back “are you 223? I met up with a friend down here at GJ…” To cut it short, the conversation went on… it was brief and concise… “parang nagpapakiramdaman…” so to say. I learned from that short exchange that he is a senior student from one of the top university, and I’m 1 or 2 years older… just the same, he knew that I was a marketing guy at some establishment near the place… It was somewhat a relief that he made contact.

An hour have probably passed, my boss and I were at the height of her story… when I noticed “him” walking out of the building… he saw me too… it was a cold stare that we gave each other. He walked towards my direction, passed by our side, and went down the stairs behind me. After a while, I texted him again, “ei, you on your way home?” “yep, am a bit sleepy already… why?” he replied. I said. “wala, just thought you might want to hang out still, but then, sige, go ahead sleepyhead!” and the conversation went on again until the time I got home and was about to sleep… well, we talked about basic things, like my girlfriend, my job, his school, his likes… sort of stuff like that. But believe you me, it was a very few exchange of text messages… and I mean literally few. When it got a bit intimate, he asked “Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something, you know?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.

That was the last text I got from him. That night, and the following day… nothing.

I don’t know if I scared him away… or had I been too straight forward, or too intrusive. I really don’t know. So I had to let it pass… so much for my first actual attempt to get to know a complete stranger, with him knowing what I actually am.

Dear Migs,

Sorry for having to tell you this long of a story… just wanted to tell you exactly what happened… in detail. You probably are the only person who might actually understand and be able to give me a straight forward comment. Tell me pls., what happened there? Am I just being extra sensitive about the whole thing? Should I act on it?

This, I’m sure of; I didn’t do that just so to hook up or anything. It was an authentic effort to make friends with someone interesting. After all, he might be the only person who actually knows who I am, and knows about the whole “no labels” thing. Is that wrong?

I know you and your readers are way too tired of these kinds of stories, so if you won’t publish it or something, it would absolutely be fine. Just hoping you’ll give me sound advices on what to do. You may send it through this e-mail if you opt to J thanks so much migs. You’ve always been a big help.

– kape (a.k.a. Coffee Boy)

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It started almost two weeks ago. I ‘met’ him, of all places, in a porn site. He saw my profile, messaged me, asked me for my MSN, and the rest, as they say, is history. At first, we chatted irregularly, once every few days or so. On 17 August, however, everything took a turn for the better. We started messaging each other more; sometimes we’d last anywhere from 3 to 4 hours, just sitting and sending each other messages. I became enamored with him; everything about him was perfect! We had the same interests: history, politics, books, and all this for a guy who was 18 (I’m 19). We even shared some interesting commonalities; he and I are both altar boys, we both come from big families, and we are both firmly planted in the closet. In no time at all, I think we became too sweet to each other — and we’ve never even met!

The trouble started a few days ago.

You see, I sent him my pics– but they were not actually my pics. They were of my best friend. For several hours, I just lay on my bed, weeping, sobbing, haunted by the thought that he was not really in love with me the same way I was for him. I eventually got the courage to just tell him the truth the next day, but not before a massive dramathon that’s sure to make the Philippine movie industry proud. So I confessed it all to him; I apologized, from the bottom of my heart, tears practically streaming down my face, for deceiving him; I hated it so much. I don’t like lying to him, not at all, and I was proud that I finally learnt to be honest with him. I sent him my real pics– and guess what, he thought I was cute! And here I was, thinking that everything was going to change because of that revelation. Boy was I wrong.

Sweet as it is, this is, unfortunately, not the end of my problems. In my strong desire for him, I forgot ( or ‘prudently neglected’, if you like) to tell him that I was not yet an immigrant to the United States. He’s from Michigan, I’m from California– at least this is where I’ve been staying the past few months. Unfortunately, life has to intervene, and I will be going back to Manila to continue my studies soon (I took a year off). Yet another hurdle to overcome; another potential heartache and cause of sleepless nights. I could very well end up staying in Manila for another three years.

How do I tell him this? How do I manage to sustain something that he and I truly think is beautiful and worth fighting for? We’ve all read what the experts say about long distance love (or long distance relationships / LDR); it’s all a pleasant fiction in the end, they say. I know intimacy is something VERY important in a relationship, and I am willing to fight for that. I know that he feels the same way toward me, even after I’ve lied and deceived him. I know that some readers might find this naive; like I said, this is the first time I’m truly falling in love, and I am stuck in a world where people just don’t believe in it anymore. What can I do? I know what I must do, and I really am willing to make it work. Someday, somehow, I’ll find him, and we’ll be together. I just don’t know if we could last that long. I don’t know if the world will wait.

I believe in love. I believe in fate. But in a cynical world that frowns on such things, what am I to do? Am I just another Don Quixote fighing vainly for something that can never be? Should I take it more slowly and build my friendship with him first? Please help me. I just feel so lost and confused lately.

Ethan

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It’s only recently that I discovered your site, but I’m now an avid reader of your blogs/posts. Some are encouraging, others are very, very stimulating. Anyway, I wanna share something that may arise some curiosity to our readers.

As we all know, we are in a country that is pre-dominantly catholic. Most often than not, we follow all catholic practices, from our very colorful fiestas, to our mournful holy week, and of course, circumcision (or pagtutuli, in our filipino linggo). Most of the filipino men are circumcised at an average age of 10-12 years old. Aside from it being a religious practice and hygienic practice, it’s usually a “right of passage” for the boys. If you’re circumcised, it’s as if you’re already a full-fledge man and you can do whatever you want. Boys begin to explore how to masturbate, watch porn with their friends (or even older bros), and even compare how one’s circumcised penis is different from the other boys. The deepness of a boy’s voice is often connected if he is already circumcised. The growth spurt is also connected of the boy being circumcised. But how what about an uncircumcised boy? Does he still experience what a circumcised boy is going through? Or does he stay being a “boy” if he stays being uncircumcised?

I have been dating this guy, who I had no idea he was uncut until we had sex a few months ago. I met him through downelink (and no, i won’t give out his account for security reasons. Sorry boys, but he told me that he was mine ahahaha). He wasn’t the “hunky” guy, but he had this “boy-next-door” look paired with his glasses that simply gave his sexual appeal a boost. After a few days of chatting over downelink, we decided to give out our mobile numbers and decided to meet somewhere. After my class, I went directly to our meeting place and waited for him for about an hour since my class was dismissed earlier. After a few minutes, he approached me and boy, he was about 5′11 tall, a bit dark, and his voice was HEAVENLY. Overall, he was tooooo sexy for me. Anyway, we chatted for about an hour and we decided to catch the night scene. I enjoyed his company so much that I kept on holding his hand during the duration we were in the club. He then drove me to my place and we said our good nights to each other.

We dated more after our first meeting, going out in malls, watching a movie, or catch the night scene. Being with him was simply heaven for me. When we got closer to each other, I then began asking him about more personal facts. When I asked him if we was still a virgin, he said yes and I was in disbelief. How can a guy like him be virgin at his age? He told me that he was reserving something “special” for that “someone.” Of course, I assumed that was me, but I didn’t tell him so I wouldn’t blow off my chances that easily. Weeks passed and we finally got together. Him and me, against the world. What a wonderful feeling. I have been with guys in the past, but nothing really compares to how he makes me feel. Anyway, my place was free one night and we decided to take a rest from all the hectic partying scene and just have time to ourselves. Of course, we were cuddling with each other and I finally had the courage to ask him if he wanted to do it. He was silent at first but then told me that whatever happens, him and me would be still together. I laughed at what he said because I have already accepted him fully (which I thought I did). We started undressing each other but he asked me if he could keep his boxers on until he gets a boner. Since I was already in the heat of the night, I just said yes and kept his boxers on. He finally got his boner, and wow, it was big. Gifted, as I would like to say. I gave him the best sex for his first experience and I was riding him through the night.

The next morning, I woke up because I felt the urge to pee. He was still beside me (thank God), sleeping soundly. I slowly took off the blanket to stand up and took a pee. When I returned, that’s when I saw it. His cock. His pole. His penis. It was uncut!! I couldn’t say anything at all. I was in shock. I felt like I was cheated. I felt like he didn’t trust me. I lied down on the other bed and I felt that he was already awake. We looked at each other and that’s when he realized it, his uncut cock was out in the open. He was shocked to see me and he quickly put his boxers on. He didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know what to do either.

After that awkward moment, he decided to leave me be. We didn’t talk to each other through the fone nor through downelink. But everytime I see his profile in my account, and his number in my phone, I couldn’t help but think that I really did miss him a lot. I think I was wrong that I judged him that time. So what if he was uncut? Does that make him less of a man? Does that make him less capable of having sex with the person he truly loves? I asked my close friends about it and gave a reaction that I quite expected. But they told me that it should not matter, as long as I still have feelings for him, and the same goes with him, I should accept him no matter what. I have imperfections, whether it may be physically or emotionally, but he was able to accept them w/o conditions. I decided to say sorry to him and asked if he wanted to still meet up with me. Fortunately, he wanted to talk to me about it so we met up again. He explained to me why he was uncut, raised by catholic but non-practicing parents, his father’s belief that being uncut or cut does not matter as long as you keep it clean, and stuff like that. I finally began to understand his situation and I accepted it. I told him that one of the things that keep a relationship impact is the imperfections of the two people involved. It keeps both people a “high” to get on with each other. He was happy that I accepted it and truly, it was (again) me and him against the world.

We have been in our relationship for almost one year now, and I’m happy that it has been going strong. Migs, I would like to thank you in advance for posting my story. I would like to share this to other guys out there. Thank you and I will still be reading your posts.

- Wat

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