Manila Gay Guy
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Greetings, Sir Migs!

My (false) name is Luke, 18 y/o, and currently in college. The main reason why I wrote to you is that I’m given my present situation, I think I need a gay peer (or buddy, or friend, or call it whatever).

One important thing you should know about me is that I’m deep in the closet. All of the people I know see me as someone indifferent to matters of social relationships, and hence the toughened exterior impervious to suspicions of homosexuality. No one thinks (or so it seems) that I’m holding something back. I’m the master of disguise. The sad part is, the show’s wearing me off.

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Hi Migs!
I am Randall (not my real name though), 20 years of age, studying in one of the best universities in the Philippines. I accidentally saw your site when Wanda Ilusyunada was featured on Y Speak. It was 2007 if my memory serves me right. I one by one checked his Pink Mafia (his friends) and there you were. The green-ish and glittering Manila Gay Guide site I saw that time. Hehe. Of all the sites I visited in the list, indeed, you have the most sensible topics and I must say very updated. From then on, there was no day that I will not click a new tab to browse your site every time I am online. I love everything on your site. The best part? The true-to-life letters and the candid comments of the people.

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Hi Migs,

I bet you might be tired of getting emails about guys being in the closet, but reading some of the letters on your blog I muscled up some strength to ask for just assistance, I’m actually looking for like a support group for people like me, or others like me (confused, troubled, down-low, closet). I’m just a regular working bloke and can’t afford a shrink, I’m living independently both of my parents passed away already, and as for support of my brothers & sisters that’s another story.

I always try to brush away this dilemma of mine and think there are way more serious problems in this world we live in and just be content that I have a place to sleep, food to eat, money in my pocket, stable job. But then..(I know it sounds like a cliche)..for the past 30+ years of my life there’s like a big sack of dirt in my shoulders that I’m trying to lift each and every single day, trying not to drag me down.

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Hi Migs. Call me Ethan. This is the first time I’m writing your site, but have been an avid reader of yours since 2006. It has been a source of comfort and relief for me, knowing that I’m not alone in my struggles in this world. Anyway, the reason I’m writing is because I too have a problem. I think I’m in love, for the first time in my life. Let me explain.

It started almost two weeks ago. I ‘met’ him, of all places, in a porn site. He saw my profile, messaged me, asked me for my MSN, and the rest, as they say, is history. At first, we chatted irregularly, once every few days or so. On 17 August, however, everything took a turn for the better. We started messaging each other more; sometimes we’d last anywhere from 3 to 4 hours, just sitting and sending each other messages. I became enamored with him; everything about him was perfect! We had the same interests: history, politics, books, and all this for a guy who was 18 (I’m 19). We even shared some interesting commonalities; he and I are both altar boys, we both come from big families, and we are both firmly planted in the closet. In no time at all, I think we became too sweet to each other — and we’ve never even met!

The trouble started a few days ago.

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Hi migs, i must admit that i am thrilled how you and some of your readers have had so much encounters… at least with guys (if they are all authentic). well, here’s me also sharing some of my not-so-great adventures.

ABOUT ME

well, i’m 21, neat-looking, tall, white, mid way between medium built and thin, working at a so-so coffee shop doing brand communications stuff. grew up at a province but went back to manila for college. i was raised like a normal boy should be, only that i have lived only with my sister (at least for more than 6 years when i was in my puberty stage). i guess this was the reason why i act almost effeminate, but not quite. during my highschool and college days, i was the typical boy next door: kind, open, friendly, and smart (tends to be a geek at times). also, i was very active at extra-curriculars: top CAT officer, captain of the dance group, best actor for teatro, HS choir member, chorale president (in college), and a frequent contestant in bees and oratoricals. often admired by ladies, i am a hopeless romantic who would do so much just so the girl of his dreams would come to life. i don’t mind giving bouquets of roses, or gigantic bear gifts to girls, in fact i like it when others stare at me with these (dagdag pogi points din yun!). so that’s the typical me – a “good boy” often in and out of relationships with the campus cutties… that’s what i let them see.

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Hi Migs,

I don’t know what made me send this letter to you. I can say that I’m a fan of your site- a regular visitor. I have read a lot of letters from your readers, and I must say I can pretty much relate to some of them.

My dilemma starts with me, being gay, in a “Christian” family. It’s hard; I grew-up attending Sunday school, I even became a Sunday-school teacher myself, and sometime in my life thought of becoming a pastor, but I know something is different with me.

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Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.

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dear migs,

i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.

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Exchanging emails with Palma Tayona, the artist, I grabbed this part of his message that I thought is a beautiful testament to the community that has formed around MGG, the site. I have always thought that the value of this blog is more in the exchange of ideas in the comments section, rather than in my actual posts. So, really, this testament is for all of you dear loyal readers, for all of you who share your thoughts and opinions here… mabuhay kayo!

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Dear Migs,

…your site has provided a venue to put ideas and comments that relate and affect us as gay people. It is good to see different voices speaking out and giving their thoughts. Regardless of belief, inclination, desire and purpose, we are all men of the gentler persuasion bearing the same problems of discovering ourselves, finding our own self truths, living the same culture of loving/ liking/ desiring other men, and basically, just simply trying to survive with our lives with respect, dignity and purpose.

Being gay has many different colors. It is addressed in a myriad of terms. And that is where the beauty of being gay/ straight-acting/ butch/ effem/ bisexual/ transgender/ lesbian/ closeted/ blah-blah-blah lies. It’s in our plurality. It makes the world a little bit more exciting to live in every day. It creates balance.

– Palma Tayona

Reader Kiko who has just recently come to terms with his homosexuality writes Migs, asking for possible people whom he can “share views and find some kind of support, (…) those who have maintained this kind of lifestyle in the closet.” You may want to play Ate Charo or Mel Tiangco to our dear reader, ka-MGG, Kiko.

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Hi Migs,

Happy new year to you! Thanks for doing podcasts and enlightening us on different issues. I was moved by your podcast on coming into terms with the fact that one isn’t straight – that one is gay. I recently turned 25 and also recently ‘came in’…

I’m very discreet and I keep people guessing about my true colors. I have a close gay friend who is comfortable touching my body and attests to his friends that I don’t have a single gay bone in my body (quoting “HE’s sooo straight” – akala lang niya). I chose not to come out to him; due to my personal preference of non-scene people and trust issues.

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worried-woman.jpgDearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.

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