Manila Gay Guy
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I was having lunch with a female colleague last week, and we came to the topic of why she — at 30 — is yet to be hitched. She said something like:

Andami na kasing bakla ngayon. Kasi naman, nag-iisip na ngayon ang mga lalake. At dahil nag-iisip sila, at alam nilang nagiging accepted na ngayon ang mga bading sa society, eh nagpapaka-bading na sila. Yan ang hirap kapag pinababayaan mong mag-isip ang mga lalake. Dapat di sila pinag-iisip.

I almost fell off my chair when I heard this. (Almost, because we were sitting on the floor, Japanese-style, in a Japanese resto.) What a novel idea. Isisi ba ang pagdami ng bading sa pag-iisip ng mga lalake? Pero come to think of it, may point ang hitad.

More and more men are beginning to question their true sexuality. Unlike in years past, I would say people in general, and men in particular, have felt being given permission to rethink what they really want for themselves, disregarding (though not totally) what society would say. A sort of silent liberation from the shackles of the world’s societal expectations. So, continuing on with my lunchmate’s argument, when allowed to think, men go off and do what they really want. And sometimes, what they really want is to be gay.

Nakakatawa pero hindi ba totoo naman? Dumadami ang bading kasi mas nabibigyan ng puwang ang mga lalakeng mag-isip nang para sa sarili nila. Isipin mo na lang noong panahon nila Jose Rizal, siguro napakarami ang mga klosetang bading na di man lang nagkaroon ng chance maging totoo sa sarili nila. Andaming untapped potential energy, na kung sana’y naipon eh mas malakas pa sa nuclear bomb ang pagsabog. Tiyak blasted away ang mga Padre Damaso at sanlaksang Guardia Civil noong mga panahong iyon.

In this modern world, dahil na rin sa teknolohiya at internet, mas marami na ang (kahit na patago) nabibigyan ng chance i-express ang kanilang tunay na sexual preference. Sa ganang akin, hindi naman kailangan talagang mag-out sa buong mundo ang bawat bading. Kanya-kanyang sitwasyon yan, at kanya-kanyang diskarte (kaya dapat walang basagan ng trip, di ba?). Pero kakambyo rin ako sa pagsasabing ang mas importante ay hindi ang external announcement regarding one’s sexual preference. What is much more important is the internal acceptance of one’s self. Dito talaga sa tinatawag na self ang energy source. You bottle it up, and it becomes so difficult to tap and thus use productively. Deny it of its natural need to be expressed, then it manifests in some other, perhaps uncontrollable, unwanted way.

Masaya ako, realizing that my blog, this blog, has in some ways been instrumental in facilitating the expression of homosexuality among some gay men. Kesyo patago or out-na-out, regardless of age, social strata, physical appearance, height, weight, dimension, and complexion, many of our fellow gay men have found some way to connect to their real inner selves, as well as to many other kindred souls through MGG the blog. I know of some experiences of “great awakening” among my readers, and when I learn about their experiences (through emails they send me), I can only feel so blessed to have been given this golden opportunity to be the Manila Gay Guy. Such sweet responsibility.

So, tama ba si lunchmate sa kanyang mga kuru-kuro ukol sa sanhi ng pagdami ng bading, and may I add, sa paglaganap ng gay consciousness and preference? I would say yes, at sana nga ito ay dahil sa mas masusing pag-iisip ng mga kauri natin. Mas maganda naman talagang mabuhay na may choice, lalo na kung ang choice na ito ay pinag-isipan nang mabuti imbis na inihain lamang ng lipunan.

At sa inyo, aking dear readers, what do I ask of you? I ask you to be a little bit less judgmental, and a little bit more compassionate, especially sa ating mga kapatid na bading (o pinagsususpetsahang bading). The world is cruel enough, let’s not add to it. Instead, fill it with a little bit more love through more understanding, and more compassion especially to our brethren who share a similar life journey. Iba’t iba nga tayo ng uri ng pagkabading, pero in the end, all of us need a companion with compassion.

Concretely, what can you do? Appreciate your gay friends more, express your gratitude outwardly, it’s always good to hear when one is appreciated. For those whom we think are gay but are confused, give them some space, perhaps that’s what they need to let more oxygen flow into their brains, and thus make the right decision for themselves. And for those of you who are in the closet, push yourselves more to respect and applaud our out-and-about gay brothers or sisterettes. They are, after all, courageous souls whose flames burn bright, and whose light may just as well guide our own, maybe different, life path.

And so as I always say, World Peace! Be well my friends.

Migs

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Hi Migs, I’m William (not my real name of course). I’m 18, studying at a prestigious university here in QC. Anyway, I have trouble in processing the fact that I’m gay.

Let’s just put it this way: the househelp found out my gay porn (I know, so lame of me), and now she knows that I’m gay, and now she’s pressuring me to ‘confess’ to her. Like she’s blackmailing me.This blackmailing has forced me to rethink who I really am. Am I gay? It’s just hard to process.

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Here’s a ‘thank you’ note from one of our podcast listeners… nakakataba ng puso. He relates how his friend dealt with a 13-year-old son who comes out to him. Thank you for sharing this little note of appreciation. I am sure my fellow fabcasters are all in awe with your friend’s words: “mas napamahal sa akin ngayon ang aking anak at mas naiintindihan ko ang mga nasa loob niya.” Honestly, I feel like crying. Pramis.

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dear migs of mgg,

it’s a bit out-of-whack of me to say this considering it’s super-late, but it is only recently that i got to listen to your podcasts re: coming out (part 1, part 2, part 3).

i sent the podcast files to a close male friend of mine and he listened to all of them. you see, he’s a father with a 13-year old son who he suspected was gay and he has seen being very much troubled. (the boy just came out to his father this morning. and my friend, the father, didn’t go to work to spend the day with his son.)

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Mark of Cebu is one confused guy. He says, “I wish I was just normally gay, or normally guy.” His email below shows the extent of his confusion, and how I wish he perseveres through the stage he currently is in, and come out a stronger, and overall better person. MGG readers, please read on, and be generous with sharing your thoughts. And for those who are going through something similar as Mark, I hope you feel strengthened knowing that there are other guys who are going through the same predicament as you are, and that there are people in this supposedly cruel world who are kind enough to listen, and give a piece of their mind on the matter. World Peace!

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Hi Migs,

First of all, I am sorry if I have to use a bogus email account. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that the thought of coming out makes me sweat to some extent.
Being the Manilagayguy, I hope you could shed some light to my dilemma. By the way, you can call me Mark of Cebu (not my real name). I am now 23 years old and I am definitely at the crossroads, I am definite I am gay, to some point yes. (whether bi or not, I don’t know just yet).

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Here is an email I received from Q, an MGG reader. What a tragic way of coming out! Read and learn a lesson or two… and leave Q a message too — he’s just so kind to share his story for all of us to learn from. Love you all and world peace!

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Dear Migs,

This is the first time I’m emailing a complete stranger and the first time I’m sharing events of my life, but I feel this is something every gay guy (closeted or not) should know and be warned about.

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