Manila Gay Guy
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Dear Manila Gay Guy,

Thank you for widening the scope of the website even more. For a straight-acting gay dude, it’s difficult for many people to make them understand the mind of a gay man. Automatically, they would assume the effeminate side of being gay. And I feel guilty for even pointing that clearly out because it sounds as if I’m discriminating against our effeminate brothers. They are just like us.

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A lot of letters featured here are from MGG readers who are closeted, or from those who have yet to come to terms with their sexuality. Here’s a letter from someone at the other side of the spectrum, a “girly gay,” who people might expect has all the right to be fabulous, loud, and gay. On the contrary, he feels like an outcast in his own gay community: “Galit ata mga sisters sa kin eh.” Read and share your thoughts with our letter sender who calls himself “Gaysha.”

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Hi Migs,

I’m a real fan of your blog because I have read a lot of stories about MPs, pursuing straight men, and being discreet. But nothing like my story. I was hoping to find some insights on your blog or maybe on the internet, to no avail.

Let me tell you about myself. Well, I act like a woman, talk like a woman, and I look like a woman. But I don’t crossdress. I have a long hair because if I cut my hair short, magmumukha akong Tibo. I am pure chinese but people always think that I’m Japanese or Korean. If I wear my Kimono, I would definitely look like a geisha, hence, my alias. ^_^

Weird? I don’t know. People would call me Ma’am whenever I’m out in the public and men would stare at me whenever I’m in men’s restroom. Usually men would look at the signage and then would look at me before proceeding to the restroom, confused. There was also one time when a man tapped my shoulders while I was washing my hands and told me, “Miss, panlalaki lang po ito.” I blushed, smiled, then went on my way. When I went to Hong Kong, the lady in the counter at the airport asked me about my male companion because it says in our ticket that there was a male companion. I told her that it was me, she stared at me from head to toe then said, “Oh”

Whenever I go to bars, straight men would ask me to the dance floor and some would even kiss my hand instead of shaking them when introducing themselves, some would even buy me drinks. I decline most of the time. Nahihiya kasi ako. Straight men usually treats me like a girl and I can always get away with things that I like with these men.

My problem? I’m still a virgin and I am very very very shy when it comes to these things. I never had any relationships. I’m 27 now and am worried that I’ll soon become very very old to keep up with the trends. I am so “Maria Clara” that I even hate myself for that. I just don’t have the courage to do it. My sister even told me to just hire a guy and she is willing to pay for it just so I can have an experience haha!

I’ve tried chatting but most gays today would prefer straight acting. And I think I’m caught in between. I don’t act like most gay men that I know, whether Bi, straight acting, or a flamer. *sighs*

I do not go to “gay” bars anymore because walang pumapansin sa kin. Galit ata mga sisters sa kin eh hehehehe. So I usually go to “straight” bars…. tama ba?

It’s really so hard to be in this situation. I just don’t know what to do…maybe some of your readers can help?

Thanks a lot,
Gaysha