Manila Gay Guy

Hi Migs!
I am Randall (not my real name though), 20 years of age, Spanish-looking guy, studying in one of the best universities in the Philippines. I accidentally saw your site when Wanda Ilusyunada was featured on Y Speak. It was 2007 if my memory serves me right. I one by one checked his Pink Mafia (his friends) and there you were. The green-ish and glittering Manila Gay Guide site I saw that time. Hehe. Of all the sites I visited in the list, indeed, you have the most sensible topics and I must say very updated. From then on, there was no day that I will not click a new tab to browse your site every time I am online. I love everything on your site. The best part? The true-to-life letters and the candid comments of the people. (more…)

Like

Unlike

“I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” — Isaac Newton

Fellow bloggers Mcvie and Tristan chit-chat on my recent querida post, talking about how I have unwittingly presented myself as a role model to the gay community, thus a “mistake” made public came in like a scandal to some: “kasi naman, ang lola mo binroadcast sa buong mundo. eh ayun inulan ng comments,” Tristan quips.

(more…)

Like

Unlike

Hi Migs, I’m William (not my real name of course). I’m 18, studying at a prestigious university here in QC. Anyway, I have trouble in processing the fact that I’m gay.

Let’s just put it this way: the househelp found out my gay porn (I know, so lame of me), and now she knows that I’m gay, and now she’s pressuring me to ‘confess’ to her. Like she’s blackmailing me.This blackmailing has forced me to rethink who I really am. Am I gay? It’s just hard to process.
(more…)

Like

Unlike

Hi Migs!

I just want to share my problem. I think my 7-year-old son is gay… I started noticing his behavior when he was about 5 yrs. old… I don’t know how to deal with it. Is there a group or doctor that I can approach? Thanks!

- Verna

Hi Verna, homosexuality is not a disease nor is it a psychological disorder, thus your son doesn’t need a doctor. What he needs, just like any child, is your unconditional love and understanding. You wrote your letter of concern and that alone shows how much you love your son. I am not here to say that he is really gay, but if he actually turns out to be one, there is one thing I can assure you: if you love and understand him unconditionally, if you respect and give him your support whatever he wants to be, he will honor you and will make you proud.

Also, I have a friend named Stella who I thought is in your same situation. I asked her to give you some advise as well. Here is what she sent me to pass on to you:

Dear Verna,

My son is 7 as well and grew up around women. To him, toy guns were like hair blowers that he’d seen parloristas use when they’d do mommy’s or lola’s hair. Kris Aquino was someone he looked up to, and someone he wanted to be (we once caught him wrapping the towel around him like a tube dress, and it shocked us).

He’s 7, and I suspect he’s turning gay. But then again, I could be wrong. While many of my gay friends suspect he is such, as they themselves had passed through that road, I’d like to think his being a “softie” has something to do with the fact that he was brought up by a strong, single mom, and grew up in a household of loud, domineering females. Let me tell you that I grew up in an orthodox background. My father is a missionary, and to him homosexuality is a sin. I’d like to think having gone to UP, I am so much more enlightened and all-embracing, which is why I never insisted on my son that he live up to society’s expectations of masculinity. When he was five and wanted me to buy him kitchen toys, I bought a set–only not in pink so the rest of the household wouldn’t get shocked (and I tell you, it was difficult to look for a kitchen set that wasn’t pink!).

I’ve never considered seeing a doctor because I didn’t want my son to be treated like a specimen. But I turned to my gay friends, people whom I thought would best understand my son growing up, and I learned to let my son be, to allow him to explore, to reach his full potential, even go beyond it. Now that he is 8 and learning about the rights of a child, he came home one day and demanded of me to respect his “right to express himself.” That was a lesson in itself. I have no right to insist on what he wants to be. It is his life after all.

People may say I’m in denial, but I don’t know myself if my son will turn out gay or not. He tells me he feels different when he sees girls in skimpy outfits (I had to launch an impromptu talk about erection), but he has an impeccable fashion sense that’s a lot of help to his fashion-clueless mother. He enjoys being pampered in a spa or a salon. He chooses his own shampoo (Sunsilk) and his own soap (Olay) and body wash (Dial lavender). He has style that I haven’t seen the boys/men in my life exhibit.

So what I am saying is, live and let live. Don’t castigate. Be ever loving. Avoid dialogues like “Boys do this and girls do that.” (My UP-educated self shudders at such conversations.) Instead, present society’s idea of what boys and girls should act, but remind him that choosing to be something other than what we usually see isn’t really wrong. It’s just different. I know that I am trying to bring him up as someone who is loving, kind, and respectful of men and women alike. I think that is the best thing that should matter.

There’s been enough repression in mankind’s history. It’s about time we let live.

- Stella

How about you dear readers? You surely had some notable experience growing up as gay boys with your moms. What would you advise our dear mothers here, Verna and Stella?

I’m sure there are other parents out there who at this moment are quite clueless on what to do with their observations similar to Verna and Stella, sons or daughters who are growing up and showing signs of being gay. What would you tell them?

Like

Unlike

Here’s a letter from an MGG reader, Jay Vee. Read and share your thoughts:

Hi Migs,

I’m jay vee, 25, and a reader of your blog for about a week now. Migs, Thank you!! malaki kasi ang tulong and advice na naibibgay mo sakin just by reading your blog. I just wanna share my problem and hingi na rin sana ng advice mo, i’m straight (yata!?!) and ikakasal na ako sa march. Ang problema migs may mahal pa akong iba, Si Tom barkada, best friend at boy friend ko.

ito ang kwento ko, Si tom at ako ay nabibilang sa isang barkada na puro straight na lalake ayon sa normal na takbo ng mundo sa mga mangmang na tao. Siyam kami mag babarka na puro lalake isa akong probinsyano na nag kolehiyo sa manila sa isang paaralan sa Intramuros. 2 konyo (erin at tom), 1 skolar (inyong), anak ng gov’t employee (adam) at 2 probinsyano (ako at si jeff) ang barkada namin.

alam ko mula pagkabata lalake ako, at hindi ako bakla madami ang nag bago mula ng tumira ako dito sa manila, marami akong sekretong malupit na hindi pwede malaman ng mundong kinabubuhayan ko, sapagkat pag nangyari yon katapusan ko na, mas gugustuhin ko pang mamatay.

napagdaanan ko kong paano manggamit ng bakla, ang pakikipaglaro sa kanila para lang ibigay kong ano ang gusto mo dahil sa mga brkada ko noong high school na mga eksperto dito.. (wala nangyayaring sekswal ah) ang naka tanim sa utak ko mula pag kabata hindi maganda ang buhay bakla! tatanda ka mag isa at gagamitin ka lang, na alala ko may nag tanong kay daddy “paano kong lumaking bakla ang mga anak mong lalake?” sagot ng tatay ko “itatapon ko sa dagat!” hala!! wag ka magalit sa tatay ko mabait na tao yun at marami nag mamahal dun lahat na uri ng tao, ayaw lang nya siguro talaga mag ka anak ng bakla.

sa ngayon asar ako sa mga taong galit sa bakla at nanggagamit ng bakla, asar din ako sa baklang galit sa lalakeng nasa kahon!! naniniwala kc ako na kailangan mo palang kilalanin muna ang tao bago mo husgahan kong bakit ganun sya. ang pag huhusga at pag kakalat na bakla ang isang lalake na nasa kahon pa ay hindi nakakatulong kundi lalong nag papa liit ng pag katao nya.

balik tayo sa kwento ng problema ko, graduating na kami noon anim na lng kami natira sa barkada si adam kc pumasok sa PMA, at si Erin nag migrate sa america (pag katapos ng relasyon namin) . lahat kami may gf noon masaya ang tropa, at before graduation naisipan naming mag bakasyon sa nasugbu kasama ang mga gf namin… 3 days and 2 nights yon.. sa aming barkada wala pag hihinalaang bakla sa amin kc lalakeng lalake talaga kami lahat.

sa nasugbu…
around 1:30am siguro lasing na lahat… antok na rin si gf ko so pinatulog ko na sya… ewan ba pero gusto ko pa uminom so “inom pa tayo, bitin ako!!”, “tara samahan kita!” -tom, so ayon balik inuman kami nang maging seryoso usapan. napag usapan namin si ?Erin ang barkada kong pinaka ka close ko,
tom: “pare, tanong lang wag ka magagalit?” sabi nya
jay vee: “shoot”.
tom: “pare, naging kayo ba ni erin?”
jay vee: “GAGO!! ano problema mo!” napa mura tuloy ako..
tom: “pare kc, bago umalis si erin nag inom kami lasing yata ang gago, mahal na mahal ka raw nya at hindi nya kaya na wala ka, umiiyak nga na parang babae.” -
ano isasagot ko… eh di tumawa na lang ako… sabi ko matulog na tayo puro kalokohan na nasa isip mo… bago ako pumasok sa kwarto ko tinawag nya ako at bigla ba naman ako hinalikan eh tag libog ako migs, so sige nangyari ang hindi dapat mangyari..

ewan ko migs, pag balik namin ng manila kami na yata. talo pa nya ang lahat ng naka relasyon ko babae at lalake kong mag mahal, ramdam ko mas mahal nya ako kaysa sa gf nya, pero alam nya at alam ko na mas mahal ko gf ko kaysa sa kanya…

25 na ko, gusto ko na mag ka pamilya, mag ka anak na legal, at tahimik na buhay.. umuwi ng Pinas yung tatlo kong kapatid para sa bday ko lumuwas din ng manila sila mommy at daddy, lahat sila kinukulit ako na kailan daw ba ako ikakasal baka daw mawala pa si GF, napamahal na kc si GF sa kanila, wala naman kc akong masabing masama kay GF nasa kanya na lahat maganda, matalino, mayaman, masipag, mabait at syempre mahal na mahal ako!! lahat ng M yan ah.. sabi ok ok soon!!

sa madaling salita inaya ko na nga ng kasal si GF. mula noon biglang lumayo sakin si Tom, gusto ko sya kausapin pero umiiwas talaga sa akin migs, ang sakit kc mahal na mahal ko pala yong tao at parang hindi ako kompleto pag wala sya sa buhay ko. B-day ng gf ni Tom chance ko na para kausapin si Tom tatlong oras na kami mag kakasama pero hindi pa kami nag kakausap ng seryoso kc andun lagi kami sa gitna ng barkada. nauubusan ng beer so kailangan ni tom bumili doon ako nakakuha ng pag kakataon na kausapin sya sumama ako sa kanya, tahimik lang sya at hindi ako kinakausap kahit anong tanong ko… pauwi na kami non habang nag nag mamaneho si Tom sabi ko..

Jay vee: “putang ina mo TOM! mag uusap ba tayo o hindi!!! Mahal Kita!!”
(pucha migs, biglang umiyak si Tom, ahhhh naiiyak tuloy ako…) ito yong exact words na sinabi nya sa akin ah,
Tom: “Putang Ina mo rin! hindi ka marunong magmahal at hindi mo alam ang ibig sabihin ng salitang mahal!”
hindi ko alam kong ano isasagot ko migs, tumahimik na lang ako hahayaan ko sya sabihin lahat na sumbat na gusto nya sabihin sakin pero hindi na rin sya umimik migs, pero ramdam ko ang galit nya.. hanggang sa makarating walang imikan, after 30mins umuwi na kami ni GF bago ako umalis kinamayan ko si TOM “pare ingat ka! be good!” yun lang at ok lang sagot nya..

1 week na kami di nag uusap at nag kikita ni Tom, busy raw sya sa work at ako ay busy dito sa province.. Best Man nga pala si Tom sa kasal ko..’
Migs, parang hindi ko kaya ikasal ng nandon si Tom, hindi ko kayang makitang nasasaktan si Tom, hanngang ngayon mahal ko pa yata ang GAGO!
ano gagawin ko?? Iniisip ko lng hindi ba talaga pwede sabay mag mahal ng babae at lalake? Kailangan ko ba talaga pumili kay GF at tom? kung sakaling pumayag si Tom na pareho sila sa buhay ko, makasarili ba ako? nagmahal lang ako.

1.) Tapos na ako sa buhay kumplekado, ikakasal na ako sa babaeng mahal ko at mahal ako, pero mahal ko din si Tom ayaw ko may mawala sa kanila.
2.) Paano kong pag dating ng panahon ay malaman ng GF ko ang relasyon namin ni Tom, kakayanin ko ba sya harapin?
3.) Trip lang sa akin ang pakikipag relasyon sa lalake, Mahal ko ba talaga si TOM?
4.) bakla ba ako? never ako na tsismis at napabalita na bakla, bakit ako nag mamahal ng isang lalake?
5.) bakit pag iniisip ko kong sino kasama ko pag tanda papalit palit ang mukha ni Gf at tom..
6.) marami pa Migs.. sasabog na yata utak ko…

jay vee

1 person likes this post.

Unlike

Grabe, nakakatuwa talaga ang mundo. Kanina I was just browsing Facebook. Dahil feature ng Facebook yung nagsa-suggest ng “People You May Know” I saw the profile of this guy, let’s call him Allen. What made me smile was that his profile pic was a very sweet image of him and his girlfriend. Let me repeat that. GIRLfriend. Babae ang karelasyon nito. Babae. Girlalu, obaryo, fallopian tube, bilat, vagina monologue. I whispered to myself, “ahhh… babae na pala talaga ang gusto niya ngayon.” Napangiti talaga ako, kasi naman, may history ito. Officemate ko kasi dati yang si Allen. Ang nakakatuwa nito, kilala ko na siya bago ko pa man siya naging officemate. At alam ko na ang likaw ng bituka niya.

Schoolmate niya ang jowa ko noon (na tatawagin nating Jowa sa salaysay na ito). Sa UP Diliman sila pareho nag-aral. Sa isang subject na nag-require sa kanila na magsulat ng isang position paper, kinailangan nilang maghanap ng ka-partner. Sa madaling salita, si Jowa at si Allen ang naging magka-partner.

Si Jowa at si Allen ay parehong lalakeng-lalake. Sa pagkilos, pananamit, at pagsasalita. Kaya walang problema. Pero si Jowa, may kakaibang talento sa pang-amoy. Anlakas ng radar niya, ng tinatawag na gaydar. Walang senyales pero pakiramdam niya noon, may kakaibang hilig si Allen. Hindi lang talaga niya ma-confirm. Pero tulad ng inaasahan, nauwi ang project na ito sa mga overnight-overnightan. Doon niya nakilala ng husto si Allen, pati na ang misteryo sa likod ng macho guwapitong imahe nito. Mahilig din pala siya sa mga guwapo.

Sa mga overnight-overnightan nila nangyari ang mga dapat mangyari. Kaya’t ayon kay Jowa, tunay na kabaro ang kanyang kaklaseng si Allen. Nagpatuloy ang kanilang sexcapades, even after matapos i-submit ang position paper. Natigil lang ito ng mabalitaan ni Jowa na nagka-girlfriend si Allen. At ito ay si Cheryl, ang babaeng bestfriend ni Jowa. Walang problema yun kay Jowa. Inintindi na lamang niya na baka dala lang ng bugso ng pagnanasa ang mga namagitan sa kanila ni Allen. Hindi sinabi ni Jowa kay Cheryl ang nakaraan nila ni Allen. Pero pagkatapos lamang ng ilang buwan, nag-break din sina Allen at Cheryl. Nagpatuloy naman ang friendship ni Jowa at Allen — although hindi naikuwento ni Jowa kung nagpatuloy rin ang kanilang nocturnal activities.

Matapos ang ilang taon, pare-pareho nang nag-graduate sina Jowa, Cheryl, at Allen. Noon ko nakilala si Jowa, at naging kami na nga. Isang gabi, habang magkasama kami ni Jowa, narinig kong may kausap siya sa cellphone. Si Allen. Pinakausap sa akin ni Jowa si Allen, basta lang daw, para lang daw makausap ko ang dating boyfriend ng bestfriend niyang si Cheryl. Go, sabi ko. “Hi, Allen,” pambungad na bati ko sa kanya, “kamusta?”

Sa kabilang linya, sumagot si Allen: “Migs… ok naman. Ganda ng boses mo ah. Guwapo ka ba?”

Natawa na lang ako. Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano pa ang napag-usapan namin sa maigsing phonecall na iyon. Basta ang di ko malimutan eh ang interes ni Allen na malaman kung guwapo nga ba ang kausap niya.

Nang maging mag-officemate kami, noon ko lamang nasilayan ang itsura ni Allen. Mestisuhin. Di katangkaran, pero may dating. Bad boy look. Pero makinis, in fairness. Delicious looking, kumbaga. Pero siyempre dahil self-imposed rule ko nga ang “No Office Romance” keber ang beauty niya sa akin. Hanggang tango at ngiti lang kami. Ni hindi ko alam kung alam niya na ako yung nakausap niya sa telepono.

Nag-resign si Allen matapos ang ilang taon, habang ako ay nanatili sa kumpanya. Ngayong gabi, nakita ko ulit ang Allen, sa Facebook, at iyun nga, sweet na sweet na naman pala sa isang mujer, sa isang tunay na mujer.

May nabasa ako sa kungsaan, sinasabing ang sekswalidad daw, specifically ang sexual preference ay fluid. Maaring sa ilang tao, masasabi nilang sila ay siguradong-siguradong lalake, o siguradong-siguradong bading, ngunit may pagkakataon din namang may mga taong mas fluid ang preference. Sa pananaw ko, nabibilang si Allen sa kategoryang ito. Fluid Sexuality. Maaaring papalit-palit, palipat-lipat.

Nakaka-intriga, di ba? Siyempre naisip ko rin, “nage-enjoy din kaya talaga siya sa babae? O cover girl lang si girl, as in panakip-butas?” I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, kasi mukhang in love naman talaga sila ni mujer. Talaga sigurong fluid lang ang sexuality niya. Talaga lang sigurong maari siyang papalit-palit ng gusto, palipat-lipat ng kampo.

Ikaw, giliw na mambabasa ko… may kilala ka rin bang tulad ni Allen? Sa tingin mo ba’y pupuwede ngang FLUID ang sexuality? Maaari nga bang minsa’y gusto ng isa ay lalake, at pagkaminsa’y babae naman? Ano sa tingin mo?

Like

Unlike

You’ve been friends for years with this guy who you’ve long suspected to be PLU (People Like Us). You have not opened up to him about your being gay/bi/whatever. Outwardly he looks and acts straight, and he himself says he’s straight. However, from your point of view, there are signs that suggest he is indeed PLU — he’s good looking, and successful both in school and at work, but he’s never had a girlfriend; he’s very physically conscious, a bit vain actually, and maintains a mysterious distance whenever the topic of homosexuality arises in conversations. Also, recently, you’ve noticed the way he looks at guys, lingering, and simply just out of the ordinary. There really is something there, although you can never be 100% sure.

What would you do?

A. In a moment of privacy (when it’s just you and him), you will gently open up your mind’s curiosity and ask him pointblank, “Bro, are you gay?”
B. Open up to him, “Bro, I’m gay” in the hopes that he will be inspired to open up to you as well.
C. Without him knowing, test him [insert a creative gay litmus test here].
D. Do something else [insert your idea here].
E. None of the above, which means, do nothing, it’s none of your business.

Feel free to share your thoughts! Comments, comments please! Go!

Like

Unlike

Ang nakaraan: [Narito ang kabuuan ng nakaraan.]

Ramdam ko ang init na galing sa balat niya, nanunuot sa kalamnan ko. Sa gitna ng katahimikan, tumawa siya, mahina. Parang alam ko na kung ano ang mangyayari. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko na para bang may tatlumpung puso ang tumitibok sabay-sabay. Sabi ko na lang, pabiro, “gawin mo na ang gusto mong gawin.”

(more…)

Like

Unlike

bro⋅mance — /n., broʊˈmæns, ˈbroʊmæns; [n., broh-mans, broh-mans] [source]
-noun
1. A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.
-verb -mans-ing
1. The act of wooing a fellow male friend for the purpose of becoming closer.
2. Going to unusual lengths in an attempt to become closer with another male friend.

Provenance/Origin: “Bromance” is a portmanteau of the two words “brother” and “romance”. Originally coined by author/editor Dave Carnie in “Big Brother Magazine.” Big Brother was a sort of R rated skateboarding/skate culture magazine that was eventually purchased by Larry Flynt’s Hustler conglomerate and consequently taken out of circulation due to unsatisfactory sales performance. Carnie used the word on several occasions to describe relationships between skate-buddies who spent a lot of time together and/or shared hotel rooms on every tour/skate road trip.

Usage:
-As a noun: “Dude, those two guys spend so much time together. They are having quite the bromance.”
-As a verb: “Andy has been treating Victor to every meal and cover charge for a month now. It’s obvious that he is trying to bromance him.”

Popular references:

Ryan Seacrest in an interview with TV Guide: “I’ve advocated for years that it’s OK for dudes to do things together. I’m fine going to the spa and getting massaged with my buddy. I quite like it.” [source]

I heard too that even Tom Cruise and David Beckham are being rumored to be a “bromance” item, as well as Zac Efron and Leonardo di Caprio.

Hmmmm… I would suppose some of you would be able to churn out local celeb “bromance” items… :p

Like

Unlike

Araw ng Pasko, kung bakit may isang tao ang tila ba biglang sumulpot sa aking alaala. Francis ang pangalan niya. Kaibigan ko siya mahigit 10 taon na ang nakalipas. Matalik na kaibigan. Napakabait sa akin ng taong ito, ngunit sa iba, tila ba napakasuplado niya. Napakatalino rin niya, mahilig magbasa at makipagduwelo sa pamamagitan ng salita’t malalalim na diwa. Batang-bata pa ako noong mga panahong halos araw-araw ay kasama ko siya, at dahil na rin siguro sa gayon, madaling nahulog ang loob ko kay Francis. At siya rin ang kauna-unahang lalaking aking nakasiping.

(more…)

Like

Unlike