Wanna see Joseph Izon’s love bird? :p

Joseph Izon’s Lovebirds –

Here comes another film that will touch your heart, you will cry and love till the end.

LOVEBIRDS starring Ms.Boots Anson Roa, Tommy Abuel, Joseph Izon and introducing Andres Alexis Fernandez. Its a story of Alexis and Mario. Alexis is a foreigner who came to the Philippines to meet his chat mate Mario. As a filipino culture, visitors are welcome by family host with welcoming party of food, fiesta and people. When Alexis visited Mario, Mario’s parents told to the neighborhood that Alexis is a girl, but surprisingly it was Alex. Mario’s mother denied that he was Alexis and introduced him as Alex the brother of Alexis to the neighborhood. His parents known about Mario’s sexuality until at the end Alexis become closer and fell inlove with Mario. With all the laugh and cry. A story of a foreigner in another country , different culture, and acceptance of love will have all a happy ending.

Directed by RONNIE BERTUBIN – director of the critically-acclaimed gay film “SIKIL” and “KURAP”

Trailer:

Photo credits: Dan Santos Photography

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In a couple of hours we’ll see who wins Hang in there, I’ll give updates here.

She entered the competition only knowing a boxing pose, but former tomboy Brittany “McKey” Sullivan learned enough on the 11th cycle of “America’s Next Top Model” to box out the competition, winning over blonde Samantha Potter in the final runway competition in Amsterdam.

“I’m so proud of myself right now,” she declared, after embracing host Tyra Banks and lifting her off the ground.

A girl who grew up as a tomboy, McKey, 19, of Lake Forest, Ill. ended up as top model after an ability to bend her body literally backwards for great pictures.

In the final runway competition, she attacked the unusual course and struck poses that rose her above Samantha, 18 of Woodland Hills, who looked a bit more worried about the course’s ramps and strairs.

“She didn’t just serve dress,” Tyra said of McKey, “she served face”.

It was a course that put new meaning into the word runway. It was all the making of Jay Manuel, who brought out for the show last cycle’s winner Whitney but also Ananda, a winner from Holland’s Next Top Model. (She was available locally).

The two finalists Samantha and McKey had to run of a giant hot pink hill in order not to fall backward. McKey was better at it than Samantha, who seemed (rightfully) uneasy at the impossibly treacherous runway.

Earlier, the other model in the final three, Analeigh Tipton, 19, of Sacramento, was eliminated despite her high fashion pictures, for a commercial look in person that coldn’t deliver on the commercial she shot. Seemed weird that Tyra were criticizing her face. [Source]

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I’ve been reading your blog for almost three years and im so happy dahil maraming humihingi ng advice syo. Anyway just call me Macky, I just wanna share my story or should I say a problem. I’m a straight acting bi, walang nakakaalam kung ano ang tunay na feelings ko. Very discreet sabi nga nila. Nagwowork ako sa isang amusement company as operations manager for almost a decade, then minsan naaassign ako sa malayong lugar. Right now 6 months na ako sa Mindanao.

Nung pagdating ko dito, ipinakilala agad sa akin ng boss ko ang magiging assistant ko. Let’s just call him Dave. 28 years old , from Davao, married with 1 child. Siguro sa itsura nya masasabi ko na malakas ang dating nya sa mga girls at gay, kumbaga sa unang tingin mo pa lang may mararamdaman kang pitik sa katawan mo. Isang bahay lang ang inuuwian namin ni Dave at iisang kwarto din ang tinutulugan namin dahil company provided naman yun. By the way nasa abroad ang wife ni dave, ang baby naman nya ay nsa mga in-laws nya.

First few weeks pa lang kami magkasama sa work, nakapag-established agad kami ng good relationship, lagi nya akong niyayaya sa gimikan. Alam nya kasi na mahilig ako sa disco at inuman, minsan pinapasyal nya ako sa ibat ibang lugar.

Sa araw araw na magkasama kami sa work at bahay nakakadama ako ng kasiyahan na hindi ko pa naranasan sa buong buhay ko. Mararamdaman mo sa kanya ang mga pag-aalala pag nawawala ako sa paningin nya, tatawagan agad ako sa celphone at pupuntahan ako kung san man ako naroroon. Pag nararamdaman nya na naho-home sick ako tatanungin nya ako kung ano ang gusto ko para lang mapasaya ako. Pag pressured ako sa trabaho lagi sya naka-alalay sa lahat ng kelangan ko. Busog na busog ako sa sa time and effort na binibigay nya sa akin. Kung iisipin nga ng malisyosong tao, iisipin nila na may relasyon kami ni Dave.

Kala ko nun wala na katapusan ang lahat until one day niyaya nya akong gumimik, pumunta kami nun sa beerhouse. Since na discreet ako, nagkunwari ako na gusto ko talaga pumunta sa lugar na yun. Nagtable kami pareho ng babae, dahil sinabi nya na type daw nya yung isa. so sabi ko ok lang naman. Natapos ang gabi na yun na pareho kaming nalasing, hindi ko na alam kung paano ako nakauwi nun. Nagising na lang ako na magkayakap kami ni dave, bigla akong natauhan nun. nawala ang pagkalasing ko dahil naisip ko kaagad ang trabaho namin. Masama ang loob ko nun dahil parang may barrier na pumipigil sa akin para masabi ko or magawa ko ang gusto ko sa kanya, nararamdaman ko na alam nya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Nahulog ako sa kanya Migs, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

One time around 11pm na ng gabi, lumabas siya ng bahay. Hindi nagpaalam sa akin kung san siya pupunta, I was so worried at hindi ako makatulog. Inabot ako ng umaga sa kahihintay sa kanya. Dumating cya ng office on time at tinanong ko sa kanya kung san sya galing kagabi, hindi ako nagpahalata na galit ako at masama ang loob ko sa kanya. Sinabi nya na pinuntahan nya yung Girl na naka-table nya nung gumimik kami nung nakaraan, kinuwento nya sa akin ng walang pag-aalinlangan kung ano ang ginawa nila at kung ilang ulit nila ginawa ang mga bagay na yun. Tatawa tawa lang ako habang nakikinig sa kanya, pero hindi nya alam na parang sinasaksak ako ng matinding selos. Ilang gabi na hindi na sya natutulog sa inuuwian namin, habang ilang gabi na din na hirap na hirap ang kalooban ko sa tuwing hindi sa uuwi at magigising ako na wala sya sa higaan nya. Minsan sa sobrang sama ng loob ko uminom ako mag-isa, nilunod ko ang sarili ko sa alak sa kagustuhan ko lang na makalimutan ang sama ng loob ko sa kanya. Pagdating ko sa bahay ng hatinggabi hinihintay nya pala ako sa labas. Tinanong nya ako kung san ako nanggaling sabi ko sabi ko may nagyaya lang sa akin habang nakangiti, hindi ko namamalayan na tumutulo na pala ang luha ko. Kahit anong pigil at iwas ang gawin ko patuloy ang pag-agos ng luha ko, tinanong nya ako kung may problema ako sumagot lang ako ng wala.

Siguro sa sobrang awa nya sa akin noon ay niyakap nya ako at sinabi nya sa akin kung ano ang problema ko ay handa naman siyang tumulong, kung ano man daw ang kelangan ko ay handa nya ibigay. Hanggang sa nakatulog ako sa kalasingan na nasa tabi ko sya habang nakayap sa akin. Hirap na hirap ako Migs, para siyang isang masarap na ulam na hindi pwede kainin or isang mansanas na hindi pwede pitasin.

Marami akong gustong sabihin sa kanya pero hindi ko magawa. Gusto ko sabihin na mahal ko siya pero pinipigil ako ng takot na baka hindi maging maganda ang resulta at baka masira ang relasyon namin sa trabaho. Mahal ko ang trabaho ko at hindi ko ito kayang isakripisyo pero mahal ko din si Dave at wala akong pwedeng gawin kundi umasa isang araw na maayos din ang lahat. Sa ngayon pinipilit ko na maging pormal at propesyonal sa harap ni Dave pero ang tanong ko sa sarili ko kung hanggang saan ba ang itatagal ko..

Thanks to you migs and more power!! God bless!!

Macky

Hello Macky,

Three things I want you to consider:

1. “Don’t shit where you eat.”
2. He’s your subordinate — don’t even dare think about it.
3. Open your eyes to the wide, wild world of bi/gay men. Andami, dami, dami mong choices.

Best of luck!

Migs

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Just wanted to commend on the success of your blog, Im one of the regular readers and comfortable reading your entries and comments and personally waiting again for you to buzzed me again when you’re in my area (San Francisco). I never thought that one day I will write to ask for an advice.

I joined a Christian community to a thought that I can be change, not….. though im trying. Just when I thought I will live a straight life when I met in the community Mac-Mac just a regular guy and not my usual type as I described him to my friends. But the guy is oozing with sex appeal. Then I remember a saying that you will never find your ideal person but instead you will be given the opposite of it and I think he is the one. Not my ideal but yet i like the person. Now the catch… he is straight again straight!

We first met and introduced in a sports bar January this year, and first topic that we are talking our girls from the other side of the pool table. Well I have a fair share of stories and gigs when it comes to girls. Then what bonded as most is a common hobby of ours, photography. One day I was surprised when I received an instant message on my messenger from him. Since then we will exchange IM’s all day we will chat anything as in anything under the sun. We will talk about our ex gfs, he even introduced me to one of his ex GF in LA. Then voice chats from the time I step in my office down to the time I will be off we are talking. We even have a pet name for each other (which instead of calling ‘pare’, ‘dude’ or ‘bro’) we had created one for us.

There are 7 guys in our group (barkada) it is usually you have a favorite friend among the group. One day he teases me that I was always linked with the other boys (its our internal joke) then I joke back saying “so nag seselos ka?” then he bluntly said “no” then I fired him back “meron ka naman roy ” (roy one of our barkada) he didn’t say anything.

As we go along, our friendship become closer and closer we will fight with simple things, he will let me know when he feels discomfort physically and emotionally, from saying goodbye and ingat when we are departing. Our friends are noticing it because when we have misunderstanding they will notice that we are not talking to each other and they would joke us that we are having LQ. One of the guys described it as (Hindi na lang kayo mag papansinan bigla pag katapos naman para kayong mag syota pag nag kabati) we will just laugh around.

The mixed signals, im not sure if im interpreting the signals wrong but I know I can differentiate regular buddies body language from those with a meaning. He always complain about me of having short attention with things then I joked by saying “hayaan mo pag nagging tyo ull have my undivided attention” then we just both laughed. Then few days after that he asked me “can I have your undivided attention” then I asked him “bakit tayo na ba?” then he said “no” I replied “binu-busted mo ako?” then he laughed and proceed to his question. We have a lots of incidence that are really mind boggling and it can go long with this email.

Migs, I had played this game with other straight guys and prove that they are bi and others just died down and stayed as friends. Im starting to like wait let me say LOVE mac-mac. Day by day its growing, the pressure is building up here in my heart, I want to tell him my feelings but im afraid that it will be turn down and worst we wont be friends and what will our friends will say when they found out and the community that are totally against same sex relationship.

Hope you or your readers (if you choose to post this) can share their point of view on these.

Thanks!
Supladong Pogi

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I’d like to share my own experience, though too long for the viewers’ eyes. This is something unbelievable and could make for a good script for a movie that it could even rival the story of the Brokeback Mountain. Just to find release, I’d like to see it posted in no less than Migs’ site, so that others may be enlightened or inspired, or of whatever purpose it could serve to the readers. More importantly, my story opposes that of the twink-hungry and abusive PLU (gay) teachers’ usual portrayal by the media. Let me do it by way of using Southborder’s famous songs and the songs I’d love to listen to.

For reasons I still don’t know up to this moment, after graduation and passing my licensure exam, a former professor invited me to consider teaching in the University. I felt surprised and flattered just the same. Initially, I turned him down. My profession has nothing to do with serious teaching. Working abroad has always been the sole option for us graduates of this course. Then after some serious considerations, even with my parents’ utmost opposition to what I have decided on, I told myself why not give it a try. After all, I knew I have what it takes to be a teacher.

Before the opening of the class, I primed myself and readied for the job ahead. While I fret the thought of being in front of students and try to look a master on the subjects I was to teach them, it made me excited that at long last, I would have the say at how students should be best trained to become good professionals. Being an idealistic that I am/was, I have set a standard for myself: I’ll just simply teach. No more, no less.. I have promised to myself I wouldn’t get too personal with students.

RAINBOW

Off to my scheduled classes I went. My first few days teaching were mostly consumed at trying to give an air of what a terror teacher is. I bombarded the students with quizzes, journal readings, recitations and the likes. I was getting successful at it. They could not reconcile the thought that a teacher who comes to classes in Chuck Taylor’s and was always in good looking appearance was at his strict-as-he-could-get mode. Sometimes, when I remember this moment, I laugh at myself trying hard to appear strict. No student would dare approach me and establish rapport with. (for a more colorful depiction of my life as a young teacher, visit this blog that I created: www.angtitchera.blogspot.com)

Until somebody dared to. He was the block’s leader. And one of the better-looking students in my classes. I have often contacted him thru sms and gave him instructions on what his block should do every meeting with me. He was my college crush, I have to admit. I have good recall as to how I tried to make a girl friend ask him his number in the guise of some student council interest when I was a college senior then. But I never texted him. So it was a shock seeing him attending my class, and leading his blockmates.

I was thrilled by the thought of exchanging sms while appearing professional in dealing with him. During college, I have had girlfriends. I haven’t outed myself to close friends. Until my BFF outed himself to me and persuaded me to do the same. And I did. Going back to him texting me, we initially exchanged sms dealing with class issues only. We would often ask me about the block’s next meeting assignment and activities. Or I would do the same to him; instruct him to do something for the block.

IKAW NGA

Then I wasn’t able to contain myself. For reasons of convenience, I transferred to a nearby dormitory, just some steps away from the University. I was always left alone by dormmates who were college bestfriends.. During the nights, I would often feel I was by my lonesome. So, to cut the story short, I would make papansin with mr. class leader by sending him wrong-sent sms. And he would respond to it gamely. Until we became textmates.

Weeks passed, we found ourselves talking over the phone. That night was the beginning of it all. He was the first to admit to have a crush on me. I almost jumped out of the couch after hearing it. Of course, being the teacher that I was I never admitted to him that he was my crush ever since college. Questions like doubting his intention for telling me about it came to my mind. What if he was just trying to play it with me? But the night we talked was more of a night of revelation. I was able to know all about him, even his age. I was shocked at knowing he was older than me. It was the best telephone conversation I’ve ever had. And from that night, I knew I found my match, after some long years of looking for it.

We managed to be as-usual while inside the classroom, as if we never talked personally and exchanged intimate details about ourselves over the phone. It made me happy. And I never even bothered of feeling flattered by female students flirting with me, obviously or un-obviously.

Two days before my birthday, he texted me: “Sir, happy birthday! Mwah!” and I naughtily replied with: “Kiss lang?!” It was silence after. Then, a reply came: “Where is your dorm? I’d like to drop by”. Oh boy, I almost fainted at the thought of him visiting over.

HABANG ATIN ANG GABI

Then it came. I opened my dorm’s door for him. He was with some of the best foods he could bring, knowing that he cooks very well. It was as if we’ve known each other for so long already. He even brought picture albums that he’d like to share with me. We talked and laughed at our stories until 3 in the morning. Of course, we have to go to sleep. Or so I think.

While Southborder’s Habang Atin Ang Gabi was playing in my desktop PC, we shared the night. It was my first, while it wasn’t his, and he was really good at it. The background music was fitting with the moment we were sharing. Yes, it was bloody for me. But I didn’t care. After it, we exchanged I love you’s. It was my first time to have ever smiled before retiring for a sleep.

We became an item. We managed to think of ways of making our relationship discreet. Only bestfriends should know, was our first rule. We would only date kilometers away from the University, unless we want to be caught by other students who were more than willing to probe what the snub-looking teacher is doing with a student.

Inside the classroom, we were the usual teacher-student set-up. Except for two chosen classmates, nobody knew what we had. Every day, I was always in bliss. I looked better, as students noticed. It was then that more admirers came to me, mostly of course female students. Some were just admirers, while others came to a point of obsession. But I never cared. I had what I considered then the best lovelife I could give myself with..

WHEREVER YOU ARE

Then I started to loosen up inside the class, and was starting to smile more, courtesy of him. Students who were die-hard fans would invite me often for a date. I did it with some of the female students, just for the spirit of goodness. But, take note, he would drive me and bring me to these dates. While dating, he would pass by and inspect the girl. He would then text me: “Chaka naman nyan, tapusin mo na agad yan. Haha!” Then I would smile.

Being a first-timer, I was always emotional. I was always intimidated by the stories he told me about his exes. It wasn’t blissful always I was trying to believe. I became vulnerable to temptation too. A day after a very heated argument over one big deal of an issue, I gave in to a tempting invitation by a college friend.. He was a college crush also. He knew it too that I have just outed myself.. I gave in. Then guilt found its way on me. I admitted it to him. He was furious. He even threatened to embarrass me inside the classroom. I panicked. For days, we would often exchange fingers pointing the blame at each one.

Still, we managed to reconcile. He still accepted me. His love for me did it. I was thankful. Where on earth could I find someone like him? I was really, really guilty. How could I do it to him? Yet, because of what I have done, every time we would have some arguments, I was always reminded of the day I diverted from our paths. I had it from him for almost more than a year. It pained me. But then I have to take the consequences of my action. And I knew it then karma will find its way on me.

ONE AGAIN

And it did. The days came when I found him treating me coldly. I wasn’t suspicious at first. Until a friend who was just more than concern told me all about why to my surprise he wanted to leave me. It was because of a schoolmate, younger than both of us. And of course, looked better than us. I confronted him about it. He was in denial. He just told me he wanted some relief from me. Until finally after some crying and begging from me, he admitted it. I slapped him in the face. Real hard. I knew he was hurt, but I was more than hurt.

It was so painful that I almost saw death coming my way.. My BFF came to the rescue. He would accompany me wherever I wanted to go, and listened to my musings about my life with him. My boyfriend was my student, and I was replaced by a student. I begged him to comeback, almost looking desperate at my attempts to do it. But my pleadings went to deaf ears.

I almost cried in the campus seeing them being together. I felt it unfair. While we were together, we just couldn’t be seen stroll the University by our lonesome. I told myself I have to move on. But it was hard to do so.

KAHIT KAILAN

As I was trying to feel ok, to move on from the experience with a student, he then realized he loves me more than his new one. He was trying to beg for me to reconsider. For the love of him, I did consider a second chance for us.

My parents, who are devout Christians, had an inkling of what/where I was putting myself into. I was more than once confronted about it. Each time they did it, I denied it ’til no end. They wouldn’t believe me. I left our house, with great conviction that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just being myself. My love for him did it.

At the University, students started to notice my unusual closeness with him. I have never attended birthdays of students, except of him and his close friends. So to speak, it ignited suspicions among students. In fairness with me, I have never played favorite, of him and his bestfriends in the class. Grades were grades, so as scores. But his intellect often surpassed my expectations of him.

For two years we were together, secretly dating, hiding from the suspicions from not only by the students but college officials as well. It was a roller coaster ride, but it was well worth it. His close family members knew about us and wouldn’t care a bit. It made me happy, and he never complained about me hiding him from my family. I thought it would last a lifetime.

DI KA PALA DAPAT

His vulnerability once again attacked him. While he was at a student convention, he met another student that would make him feel special, one thing I just ignored at doing because I was busy being a professor and attending to my Master’s class. I knew what was happening. And it need not come from him. When I sensed something was terribly going wrong, I broke up with him.

I knew I made a good choice. I was enjoying my professorial job, on my way to finishing one of the hardest Master’s degrees in the University, and enjoying financial stability from part-time works on the side. I told myself it’s about time to move on from this experience: student love.

I was successful at it. I felt left alone again. But then I was able to rise up, thanks in part to my select BFFs who rescued me when I was feeling thrashed. I knew something bigger was on the offing. I knew I could make it: him leaving me on a highway journey and left me looking for somebody to pick me up in that highway. I thought it wouldn’t happen.

And it did. I was glad it did.

ALL MY LIFE

To my surprise, the first person to rescue me was another student. She made me feel ok again. Yes, she’s a she. She’s someone every guy in the university would dream of having. She’s one of the finest ladies in the university, a girl you’d be proud at bringing home and introduce to your parents. And your parents will be happy for you. She’s of that type.

But I never looked at her that way. She was a student for two years, second and third year. From the start, she has always made it apparent of her feelings for me. She didn’t care at admitting to close friends that I was her ultimate crush. One thing I couldn’t believe. Guys are drooling for her. Varsity players would always ask her for a date and even guys from outside the university as well.

She turned them down. For her, I was the end-all-be-all of a guy she would love to love. While I was deeply even love with my former boyfriend, she would always bring me gifts from her travel abroad and even invited me more than once for a friendly date. But, outside of her knowledge, I was in a relationship with her classmate, her block leader. Yes, they were classmates. And good friends at that.

She would often tell to my former boyfriend her feelings for me and how much she looks forward that I’d get to be single and ready for a relationship with her. My former boyfriend would just smile at her. In his mind, he would say “He’s mine. Go dream girl.”

One time, I went on a date with her. Of course my former boyfriend knew about it. While we were conversing, me asking her some corny stuff about studies, I noticed she was busy texting. Then, I found out, she was texting my boyfriend. She told him how happy she was for having to date me. Then I told her we couldn’t be what she expected us to be, that I already loved someone. She was hurt, she told my bf. I was just honest. I couldn’t be in a hetero relationship, I told myself. And I am deeply in-love with my former boyfriend.

Fast track after a year, my former boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and a dirty one at that. It was in one of the classrooms in the University that we exchanged dirty tirades. We thought we closed the door. Then, when it was getting messy, somebody knocked. It was her waiting for me. She heard it all. I walked out.

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

Months passed, I was already convinced I had to let go of my relationship with him. All throughout my agony over a love lost, she comforted me. She never left my side during my crying moments. In one of those moments, I blurted out: “Sa babae na lang kaya. Try ko lang.” Then we laughed.

It was the start of being together for almost every day. She would wait for my classes to finish every time I was teaching in the University. We exchanged text messages and called each other on the phone every night. In one of those conversations, I asked her why she had rejected the guys crooning her. She narrated how bad her last relationship was. I told her if we’d always spend the days together, the guys courting her would think we’re an item.

I thought she just loved my company, her knowing my sexual preference. But, one day, she told me, she was falling in love with me. As in serious love. I told her I don’t deserve her. She’s clean. And neither does she deserves me, she belongs to the guys falling seriously for her.

GOT TO BELIEVE

Then one night, we became intimate. At the end of it, we exchanged I love yous. She wasn’t hard to love and like. She’s beautiful. She’s one of the best students in the University.

Of course, what we had had to be discreet too. The University maintains its stand against teacher to student intimate relationship. Only her bestfriends and mine knew what was going on between the two of us. My BFF was skeptic, and even humorous. He never expected I’d enter into such a relationship. My only justification was: she knows it all. And she doesn’t care a bit.

Without my knowledge, she was secretly contacting my sisters and my mom. Initially, I wanted to make it secret even to my family. I didn’t want them to think that I was just using her to cover up from their suspicion about my sexuality. But, to my surprise, she had more than once visited our house without my knowledge.. She’s too loving that even my family loved her like she’d be a wife to me.

We went on with what we believed a love that knows no condition, and doesn’t judge. I was myself with her, I never have to pretend.. She was ok with it, and never complained.

SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME

It was a challenge for us to make it a secret to the University. But we faced more challenges than we expected. First, it has to be a secret to my former boyfriend, them being good friends and for fear of retaliation against us. Second, her friends were furious and skeptic about what we had. And third, it was myself that became a problem. I have more than once opted to walk out of her. I just felt like she deserves more, and that more is not me.

It was really a struggle for me to remain faithful to her. I was longing for the kind of intimacy I had with my ex. I was longing sex with another of my being. It was hard. And really tempting. That the more I reject the idea of it, the more it gets to my system. In some moments, I gave in and guilt would always find its way on me.

We were together for two years. I always hated the feeling that while she was loving me with all hearts, I was secretly texting my ex, and flirting with other guys. It was hard. My former boyfriend found out about us. He ridiculed me. Saying I was out of mind for having an affair with her.

LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK

Until I decided to end it all. She was hurtful. She was waiting for the time we’ll get married. I was hoping for it too. But I couldn’t stand disrespecting her secretly. I just knew I’m not cut for it. It had to be somebody. I told her she’s young, urban, rich, and beautiful she can find someone of the same type. I cried saying it too. I love her. Sincerely, believe me. It’s just that I’m not for it.

Now, I’m single again. But I’m anticipating karma would find its way on me. I have hurt her beyond her knowledge. I still nurture the guilt until this moment.

But I am optimistic. That in spite of what I have experienced in my four years of teaching, of having a boyfriend for two years and deviating to having a girlfriend for two years, I knew I had the most colorful life a teacher could have. I don’t regret any of the things that happened to me.

I am still waiting for the right time to come for me to settle and be happy. I know it will.

- Red

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Dear Migs,

Greetings from Dubai!

I am a straight-acting gay guy. I became more discreet here because I was afraid that I might find difficulties to find friends if I show my other side. I don’t have relatives or even friends that know me that can help if in case they will not accept me. Everything was new to me and everything was so hard pretending to be like others.

After a year since I came, I woke up one morning on my colleague’s arms after a long drinking session. He was Richard, (I thought) a straight-acting like me. As far as I can remember he initiated everything. I can still remember how many kiss marks he did to my neck and some parts of my upper body on that time.

We become good friends after. We have so much time together and enjoyed almost every minute of it. We went for coffee, clubbing, watch movies, eat together. We sleep together in one single bed and have some intimate moments occasionally. We even attended one orgy session and picked up a man from a dance club and brought him to our room. But we’re both top, we don’t suck cocks (for ugly men, hehehe..!). I thought, were both gays.

What shocked me most for these past few weeks was his girlfriend, she was pregnant. I allowed him to court the girl because I thought that it is his way to show others his masculinity. I was shocked because he fucked a lady, gets pregnant and the worse is they are in Dubai. Getting pregnant here in Dubai before marriage is a crime. They will put you in jail for several months and will be subjected for deportation.

When I confronted Richard of what had happened, he just answered me “napasubo.” Migs, although I am not directly involved in the situation, I cared so much for them. They’re both my friends and I don’t want them to make a step that will add on their problems. Please help.

Migs, these are my concerns that needs to be settled ASAP:

1. Were planning to abort the child before it’s too late, is it right?

2. Not all knows that they are into relationships; they decided to hide it because they were tease by people here. They know Robert that is gay. The girlfriend is suspecting now that Richard is really gay and she asked me if it’s true. Do I tell her the truth?

3. Should I distance myself from Richard? He needs me more this time.

4. And lastly, why this happened? A straight lady deserves a straight man, quoted from your previous blogs.

MrCens
Dubai, UAE

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Migs, I’m a girl and I have a boyfriend who I love so dearly. I however have this horrible hunch he is gay. Please Migs, help me, how do I know if he’s gay? What are the signs? Please Migs, I want to know! Help!

So on behalf of all these confused girls who suspect that their boyfriends might be gay, I summon the kindness of MGG readers, do pitch in, how would you answer their question: how do I know if the guy’s gay?

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“Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.

It was the 30th day of my birthday month, though still in the middle of the week, the following day was the end of Ramadan and thus was declared a holiday. I got nothing to do that payday afternoon and so I decided to just hang around. Walking along Timog / Tomas Morato area with no one and with literally nothing to do, I decided to go to one of my favorite spa places and pamper myself with an hour and a half long massage.

So I went inside, had a short talk with the receptionist. I asked her if there were not too many people inside, and was delighted to hear her say “di naman matao sir, tama lang.” at least I’m not alone, and neither is it too crowded…

Well I went in, and saw a bunch of decent looking blokes (Though it pissed me that a number of them are drooling over those who just came in, and even went to as far as following you to the shower. But nevertheless it was an okay crowd.)

Just as any ordinary spa guy would do, I took off my clothes placed the towel around my waist and went straight to the shower area. There were a few gays staring but I couldn’t care less. Had a nice warm shower facing the wall / dividers; I was indeed having a nice time. After that, I went in the dry sauna area. After a few minutes I decided to give the massage a “go”. None of my favorite masseurs were available at the time, but then the newbie (at least for me) didn’t fail me. He has a good warm pair of hands, and it was a definite relief from all the stress I had from work this past week.

After the massage, I decided to take a shower again to wash off the oil. After that, I was planning to leave the place for coffee, but then, when I checked my phone, it was then too early. So I stayed… went back to the shower area, then to the sauna room. On my way to the sauna, I saw a few guys on the Jacuzzi but did not pay much attention. I went inside and alienated myself from the rest of the group by wearing a silly slightly frowning face. It was as if I had a “F*** OFF” sign tattooed in my forehead. Nobody dared talk to me, and so I was relieved.

Fifteen to thirty minutes have passed and so I decided to shower off the sweat… This is when I saw “him” in the Jacuzzi. It was a familiar face, and so I thought. But then the “straight guy” ruled over me and didn’t give a damn. I went straight to the shower area, and, well… showered.

But after a while, this occurred to me, “he was the same guy from two Saturdays ago…” I had a silly sort of “attraction” with this almost bald guy, a slight scar on his cheek, with a decent built. And it was my second time seeing him in the same spa. Little did I care about the other guys, I just wanted to know for sure if he was that same guy I once saw and was attracted to… So I went in the tub with him and seated at the far end of the corner. I was trying to glance at him every once in a while to validate if it was really him, so by then, I was sure he was. I’m sure he was also glancing back, but then we wouldn’t let each other catch that we were…

And so it went on, we were taking a quick look at each other if chance permits. I went in the sauna, after a while he was there too. When I shower, he’s there at times… but nothing really happened besides that.

After a few while, I noticed that the crowd was getting a bit thick, and so I decided to leave. I went out of the wet area to change clothes. He followed… sat at one corner of the waiting lounge, got his phone as if sending a text message. It’s as if he was saying “hey, can I get your number?” I didn’t know what to do… none of this sort has happened to me yet. And so I did not change at once… and lingered for quite a bit. Teasingly, I put on only my boxer briefs with a towel almost wrapped around my shoulder, went in front of the mirror and put gel on my hair. I thought… “hey, I’m sending all the right signals, when will you make a move?” after quite a while, there were already number of guys staring at me, so I felt a bit conscious… so I went on putting on my pants and shirt and prepared to leave. I was in front of my locker (it was 222) when he sat beside me. I thought he was finally making a move, but then again, I assumed too much. He was there because his locker was just right next to me, his was 223.

I didn’t know what got into me, but I could have sworn, I wanted so much to get his number, but then I can’t just simply ask. He was still there lingering, and so am I, as if we were waiting for each other to step forward. So I did… I took a piece of paper, wrote down my first name and my number, and thought that it would be simpler if I just handed it to him. But then, I can’t. So I took my chances, and just left the paper inside my locker beside his. But I made sure that he knew that I left something there.

I went on my way hoping he would indeed get in touch. There was a coffee shop at the same building, I stayed there and met up with my boss, she also is a good friend of mine… and she had something bothering her that night… so we decided to talk it over a cup of coffee. While we were chatting, I received a text message “****?” – (my first name, sorry, I refuse to divulge that info) it was from an unfamiliar number. So I replied: “yes? I’m sorry but may I know who this is?” he replied “Why did you leave early?” I texted back “are you 223? I met up with a friend down here at GJ…” To cut it short, the conversation went on… it was brief and concise… “parang nagpapakiramdaman…” so to say. I learned from that short exchange that he is a senior student from one of the top university, and I’m 1 or 2 years older… just the same, he knew that I was a marketing guy at some establishment near the place… It was somewhat a relief that he made contact.

An hour have probably passed, my boss and I were at the height of her story… when I noticed “him” walking out of the building… he saw me too… it was a cold stare that we gave each other. He walked towards my direction, passed by our side, and went down the stairs behind me. After a while, I texted him again, “ei, you on your way home?” “yep, am a bit sleepy already… why?” he replied. I said. “wala, just thought you might want to hang out still, but then, sige, go ahead sleepyhead!” and the conversation went on again until the time I got home and was about to sleep… well, we talked about basic things, like my girlfriend, my job, his school, his likes… sort of stuff like that. But believe you me, it was a very few exchange of text messages… and I mean literally few. When it got a bit intimate, he asked “Hey, just wanted to ask, are you gay, bisexual or something, you know?” then I replied, “that… I’m not particularly sure of… I have a gf, but to be honest, I enjoy ‘it’ with men. No labels. Ikaw?” – then I got cold silence as a reply.

That was the last text I got from him. That night, and the following day… nothing.

I don’t know if I scared him away… or had I been too straight forward, or too intrusive. I really don’t know. So I had to let it pass… so much for my first actual attempt to get to know a complete stranger, with him knowing what I actually am.

Dear Migs,

Sorry for having to tell you this long of a story… just wanted to tell you exactly what happened… in detail. You probably are the only person who might actually understand and be able to give me a straight forward comment. Tell me pls., what happened there? Am I just being extra sensitive about the whole thing? Should I act on it?

This, I’m sure of; I didn’t do that just so to hook up or anything. It was an authentic effort to make friends with someone interesting. After all, he might be the only person who actually knows who I am, and knows about the whole “no labels” thing. Is that wrong?

I know you and your readers are way too tired of these kinds of stories, so if you won’t publish it or something, it would absolutely be fine. Just hoping you’ll give me sound advices on what to do. You may send it through this e-mail if you opt to J thanks so much migs. You’ve always been a big help.

– kape (a.k.a. Coffee Boy)

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In that much celebrated coming-out scene in a Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition episode, Rustom said “I have no choice, I am gay… but hindi ako masamang tao…” He knew of his sexual preference even when he was young, manifesting it by playfully wearing girl’s clothes which his father saw one time and which angered him of course. His mom, Eva Cariño, berated him as well, it was said.

Then, cut to…

During this year’s Urian Awards, where he presented the Best Actor Award, Rustom with nary a care for what other people might say, proudly displays his real self, the girl within. You go, gurl! Hehehe!

Photo credit: James Samaniego

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A deluge of searches for ‘Bruce Quebral’ have been logged in this blog these past days — seems a considerable number of netizens have been searching for this guy… Hmmm… what could be causing this? Any curious news about Bruce lately?

Here’s an excerpt from his interview with Cosmo:

What do you think makes you hot?
I don’t know, maybe my skin tone, because compared to other men whose skin is fairer, my skin tone is like that of a mulatto, ‘di ba? This is what makes me unique, in my opinion.

What part of your body are you most proud of?
That would be my pectorals because some other men find it hard to develop their pecs; for mine, I just need to do push-ups everyday and that’s it; naturally gifted.

What turns you on?
Physically? The woman’s armpits, butt, waist, eyes, almost everything—lahat na sinabi (laughs)! I always appreciate the character, totality of a woman. Character/personality-wise, I like someone with whom I can communicate and just be myself; someone who can love me unconditionally. Wow. Am I being too demanding?

How are you as a boyfriend?
I’m a one-woman man, like what I’ve said in the magazine. I’m very sweet, I just give my hundred percent to my girlfriend.

How are you as a lover?
I’m very, very, very (pauses for effect)…romantic (laughs). As a lover, I know how to satisfy a woman.

Is sex important to you in a relationship?
Of course. It’s one way to show how much you love your woman. It’s one way to make her feel how special she is. It’s very important for me. There are different facets in a relationship, right? Sex, communication, how you spend time with each other, you know. But sex, I must say, is very important.

Have you ever encountered indecent proposals in this business?
Of course! At first I encountered indecent proposals when I was still in high school, when I used to play for La Salle (Greenhills). And the indecent proposals in college were quite—how do you say it?—more tempting because they offer you a life! Just give them what they want and they would give you everything you need. But I told them that I’m not game for it. I just turned them down in a polite way. Sabi ko, “I’m sorry,” then I just make friends with them, “No, no, no, it’s fine,” (chuckles). I have this charm that I can get away with those things.

How do you keep the passion alive in your relationship?
Just do different things, try new things and be open-minded. ‘Di ba men and women have different wants? You just have to give way and compromise. If she wants to do this, then I’ll try doing it with her.

Where are you most ticklish?
I can’t reveal it! (Laughs hard) You know where!

Photo credit for last photo: Vince Lopez

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