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Lea Salonga’s introductory song in the phenomenal Miss Saigon reverberated in my mind as I read the first line of Stan’s letter below. “I’m 17, and I’m new here today…” Kuyang-kuya ang feeling ko sa isang ito, hahaha! As older gay brothers, we might get tempted to abbreviate our suggestion to, “wala yan, bata ka pa kasi, move on.” But really, would that help him? Just like in situations where we help or coach someone, we always seek to understand the other party first. Seek first to understand and hold off the naturally autobiographical response. My challenge to you guys is to express your brotherly love to our dear 17-year-old co-MGG habitue, by reading his letter below and leaving a comment here that would hopefully help him help himself…

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kuya migs,

i’m only 17 and i’m a follower of your blog for quite sometime. i’ve been somehow acquainted with the LGBT lifestyle with the past 4 years of my life. i recently put up a blogsite and i know for a moment you have already checked it out. i don’t even know where and how to begin. as of now, i cannot say i’m gay coz i still find women attractive. i even make love to them. i’ve had 6 girlfriends before but now, i classify my self as a discreet bisexual. but without even understanding the whole meaning of it. since elem, i never doubted with what my sexuality is. i was soft spoken and some how clumsy compared to other guys my age during those times but that doesn’t bother me at all. though sometimes, my guy friends would shun me the word “silahis” which my innocence didn’t care. all i know is that nobody have the rights of questioning how i am. my looks, the way i act and all. it was all nothing big deal for me. this scene became consistent not until my 4th year in highschool came.

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Hi Migs,

I don’t know what made me send this letter to you. I can say that I’m a fan of your site- a regular visitor. I have read a lot of letters from your readers, and I must say I can pretty much relate to some of them.

My dilemma starts with me, being gay, in a “Christian” family. It’s hard; I grew-up attending Sunday school, I even became a Sunday-school teacher myself, and sometime in my life thought of becoming a pastor, but I know something is different with me.

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Do you like straight men? Have you at any point in your life been attracted and actually “chased” a straight man? Here’s an exciting story from one of our regular MGG readers. Read on, get titillated, and join in the comments festival! (Kembot!)

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Hi Migs,

Let me start off by saying that I am an avid reader of your blog. Love the photos of men, the articles, the letters and most especially the comments that people give! Ang saya saya ng comments ng mga utaw at very lively ito (kung paminsan, eh ang mga commenters ang mismo nag-ookrayan). Gusto ko sanang i-share sa iyo ang aking istorya at sigurado ako na maraming bading ang makaka-relate. I have always been an active guy. Mahilig ako sa outdoors, sports activities, adventures at all-around good-natured trippings but I have a guilty pleasure. I go after straight men. Ika nga ng mga ka-tropa ko eto ang “market” ko. Mind you, I don’t go exclusively after straight men. I’ve had very long-term and rewarding relationships with other gay men, pero getting straight men is the spice in my life.

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Late bloomer – that’s the term we usually use to describe those people who explored their homosexuality a little later than usual. This is the case of JC, our letter sender for today. JC is set to get married to his girlfriend of 4 years early next year, when he recently met the to-be-wife’s gorgeous hunky cousin Daryl. In short, Daryl turned JC’s world upside down, and the to-be-husband is naturally confused. The question: should he risk his wedding plans to give himself a chance to explore his dormant homosexual tendencies? Or should he shut the feelings up, and go straight on with his heterosexual plans?

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Hi Migs,

I chance upon your site while surfing today. Wonderful site for gay people. I feel so comfortable with your site. I was able to read the letter of fatboyslim and some of the advices that were given to him by your readers (some are rude) that I decided to share to you my problem and hopefully I will be able to get some advice from you and your readers.

I am John, friends call me JC, 29 years old and currently connected with a call center here in Ortigas. I have a girlfriend for 4 years now, and we’re planning to get married early next year. I love her for God knows how long, (we’ve been together since high school) and I know she will be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The problem started last December.

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To tell, or not to tell… to die everyday, or to take the leap with the risk of getting forever bruised by unrequited love… hay, ang pag-ibig nga naman. A reader who calls himself “bad habit’s victim” engages us with his typical yet sincere story. A former teacher falls for his former student. Read on, dears, and share your thoughts.

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Hi Migs,

For starters, I must say that your blog is truly a haven of respite from all the weariness and desolation, most especially the eye candies you regularly feature notwithstanding the varied stories from your followers. This is where I am actually taking off. Your blog is not just a site where we could view the most pleasing male species but it is also a venue where one could just bare his story, his soul, his despairs and anguish, in the hope that somehow, somewhere, from your insights and from the others, he could arrive at some liberating answers.

I have fallen so deeply, clumsily, and crazily in love with a guy whom I call “bad habit”. Heeding from that somewhat familiar song, he’s definitely a hard habit to break. I’ve been trying to break away from it but the more I do, the messier I become. I believe my tale, though somehow typical, is a difficult one. Here’s the catch: I’m 26 years old, bad habit’s 18. I’m his former teacher, he’s my former student. I am not out. I am only to my closest friends, my lifelines.

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Would you, in the name of pure and pristine love, share your house with your lover, and his wife?

Erine, fellow ka-MGG, is a nurse based in London. His lover of 7 years, Nevin, also works as a nurse in London and shares the same house as Erine. Nevin has a wife and kid back in the Philippines. Trouble starts when one day, Nevine suggests to bring his wife and kid to London, and create a triumvirate union out of Erine, the wife, and him. What do you think? Read Erine’s letter to get his side.

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hi migs

first of all i want to give credits sa blog mo for nice contents. im writing this letter bcoz lately medyo bothered ako and i think i need some sort of payo from u as well as for your avid readers.

im erine who works here in london as nurse and proud to be gay. my story starts when i met this guy who is my present ka-relasyon way back 7 yrs ago pa while i was on my holiday sa manila, lets just call him nevin. presently kasama ko na sya dto sa london works as nurse like me. i know i had a big part on his success sa buhay ksi the time na nkilala ko sya financially problematic sya kc ang lola nya lng nagpaparal sa knya that time, illegitimate child si nevin and wlang support tlga from his parents so ang lola nya ang nagpalaki sa knya. We start of being friends and sympre later on nagkaroon kmi ng relasyon more than friends. I know the fact na stop nga sya i offered him to continue pagaaral nya sa nursing course and willingly tinulungan ko sya kc he’s on 2nd year na nmn and syang. And alam ko din he has a bright future and sort of helping him pra maayos future nya. While i was abroad i supported him all the way sa studies nya till he graduated in 2004.

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worried-woman.jpgDearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.

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I have asked permission from Elmer, our letter sender, to publish his letter here. Let me ask you dear readers, as usual, to share your opinion regarding his “homo-emo” situation.

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Dear Migs,

I’ve long been looking for someone sensible to talk to regarding my situation. When I chanced upon your site, and after listening to some of your podcasts and reading your posts, I thought that maybe you are someone who I could listen to regarding my issue. It’s really simple if you think about it, but since it’s my issue, in my opinion, it’s infinitely complex. The question that boggles my mind is this: Am I gay?

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Stupefied. Speechless. Still am. Received this email just minutes ago.

(UPDATED! See end of post.)

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Dear Migs,

I like your site so much. There is so much to know. You really nailed the Filipino gay culture with one blog. It says all. It embodies all. It makes us feel we are so real when everything else in us wanted to hide.

Being one of those men who chooses to hide behind closed doors, who supresses emotions (or hard ons) when it springs up at the wrong moment (if ever all moments were actually wrong), I knew i would be able to make every guy out there feel that someone is as hurting as they are. Well, I definitely am hurting.

I have been raised up as a sunday school kid. I am baptist and as others would tag us; a bunch of conservative hypocrites. True, true. I am, for one a hypocrite. Not that i ridicule the ‘sinners’ or what, but then, it is living this life that makes me hypocrite. I knew from the time i was fondled by a lifeguard at a kiddie swimming pool that a man’s touch makes a lot of difference. And it went on and on. Growing up my whole life, that longing to be touched haunted me like a hungry serpent searching for vermin.

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confused.jpg
Mark of Cebu is one confused guy. He says, “I wish I was just normally gay, or normally guy.” His email below shows the extent of his confusion, and how I wish he perseveres through the stage he currently is in, and come out a stronger, and overall better person. MGG readers, please read on, and be generous with sharing your thoughts. And for those who are going through something similar as Mark, I hope you feel strengthened knowing that there are other guys who are going through the same predicament as you are, and that there are people in this supposedly cruel world who are kind enough to listen, and give a piece of their mind on the matter. World Peace!

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Hi Migs,

First of all, I am sorry if I have to use a bogus email account. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that the thought of coming out makes me sweat to some extent.
Being the Manilagayguy, I hope you could shed some light to my dilemma. By the way, you can call me Mark of Cebu (not my real name). I am now 23 years old and I am definitely at the crossroads, I am definite I am gay, to some point yes. (whether bi or not, I don’t know just yet).

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