Manila Gay Guy

VATICAN CITY (AFP) – - A suggestion by Pope Benedict XVI that homosexuality is as much of a threat to the survival of the human race as climate change sparked outrage among gay rights campaigners on Tuesday. [Source / Photo by Yahoo]

There is no direct quote from Pope Benedict XVI that is clearly homophobic, so I do not think we should take it as a real attack. Knowing the Catholic doctrine though, I am not really surprised that the Pope disapproves of the assumed typical homosexual lifestyle. It’s Christmas, and today more than ever, I pray that the pope is blessed with the grace of universal love. And I pray for us all for the same thing. May we all learn to love everyone regardless of age, gender, and race. Being anti-anything is so yesterday. Love, love, love. And gratitude. World Peace!

Here’s a short indie film (less than 10min) from Giraldi Media. Another reference to that book, “Now That You Know.” If your parents are fond of reading books, this might just be useful.

If the coming out process is difficult for gay people, it is often equally difficult for their parents. Confusion, anger, and fear frequently cause fathers and mothers of gay men and lesbians to disavow, strike out against, and even resent their children. For many parents, a child’s coming out feels like the ultimate rejection–not only of their dreams and hopes but of their own heterosexuality. In Now That You Know: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward–the mothers of, respectively, a gay man and a lesbian–have charted the rough seas that almost every parent of a gay person travels.

Fairchild and Hayward presume that homosexuality is a positive good, and that it is willful ignorance and homophobia that are moral wrongs. They also believe that families can and should love all members and that it is distraught or confused parents (not their gay offspring) who must change. Mixing common sense with a firm sense of social justice and love, the authors systematically address almost all of the problems faced by parents of gay people. Answering questions on religion, AIDS, health, children, alternative families, and sex, they make the complicated gay world–often a nightmare vision for “just out” parents of gays–not only manageable but happy and nurturing. –Michael Bronski (Amazon.com Review)

Video after the jump.
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I just came from Puerto Galera. And after seeing so many different types and flavors of gay men, there is a thought that kept on lingering in my mind these past days, and it is this: while we gay guys desire equal rights as our heterosexual counterparts, and freedom from discrimination, isn’t it true too that a lot of homophobia actually runs in the very veins of the gay community? Sometimes it even makes me think homophobia is stronger among us than in any other circle. And that somehow, each of us has a certain, even just a bit, homophobic molecule in our body. And I hear quips like “Akala mo naman kung sino yang si…. eh bakla naman!” Then, remember that line of Rustom Padilla when he outed himself on national television? It goes something like “I’m gay. Hindi ako masamang tao.” (As if there is a direct link between these two concepts.) Does it have something to do with the negative programming of years past? Is there a way to reverse such programming?

Robby Tarroza, who landed in the papers last year for a major skirmish with Rudy Fernandez and Alma Moreno, ironically won for the Philippines the Mr. Congeniality title in the recently concluded Mr. Gay International in California, USA. Mr. Gay Israel won the crown with Mr. Gay USA and Mr. Gay Netherlands as runners up.

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Why is it that many, if not most, “straight acting” PLUs or those who say they are “bi” would say in their personal ads, “No effems please!” What is so wrong with being “effem”?
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In the last two months, I have looked at a couple of gay porn Web sites. The pictures I have looked at have aroused me at times, even while filling me with a sense of repulsion and disgust. It’s almost as if the taboo of looking at these sort of images, and the anxiety that I feel when doing so, creates a strong arousal. I find that I have powerful orgasms which, of course, make me feel ashamed afterwards for hours, or even days. My girlfriend is profoundly understanding and loving in all of this and is not nearly as disturbed about this as I am. Nevertheless, it bothers me that I find gay pornography arousing at times and even seek it out. My sexuality has long been a source of fear, shame, and insecurity in my life. Just the fact that I can acknowledge having a homoerotic streak is a huge step for me. I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on how I can come to accept the various facets of my sexuality and not be ashamed or afraid of it.

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Hello gay men populace, do you have a close friend who is a straight man? I do. In fact, my best friend is a straight man. Promise, I’m not kidding. Is he really straight? I can bet my big fat ass on it. Are we really super close friends? We hang out together all the time, and nothing is kept secret between us, and we’re much more than brothers — I can say the only thing we are not are lovers. Last question: am I in love with him? Honestly, for some time, I had to analyse it myself — but now I am sure I am not at all romantically attracted to him. He is my best bud — he is straight and I am gay. Yes dearie, it is possible. Do you have similar setups? Here is an article from New York magazine that talks about this same phenomenon – the gay man/straight man friendship.
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In my career, as a gay man and as a corporate citizen, sometimes I get bogged down with, by hindsight I would say, trivial stuff. It is reality though, especially here in the Philippines, that gays are still subjected to undue discrimination and prejudice. I am a believer though that we should always be proactive — which means accepting what we cannot change, yet discerning and acting on what can be, and those that at the very least can be influenced. Kirk Snyder, author of the book “G-Quotient” offers three (3) Truths to live by, and I quote him here.
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