Manila Gay Guy

Closet Badets and the Fabcasters answer questions from MGG readers. Topics tackled include open relationships, straight-acting vs. out, transforming to being pa-gurrrl, getting married in the future, “Migs”, etc.
Here’s the continuation of our previous post, “Closet Badets Meet the Fabcasters”

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Masterfully Produced / Edited by: McVie
Music Credits:
“Sayin’ Somethin’ Toxic” by Dunproofin’
“Promiscuous With You” by Party Ben
“Like I Love Your Generation” by Pheugoo
“Freak No. 5″ by Missy Elliot vs. Lou Bega
“Yeah In The Shadows” by Go Home Productions
“Twelve String Milkshake” by Glen Campbell vs. Kelis

I-Witness’ Sandra Aguinaldo goes all the way to California to join Filipino gays and lesbians who will soon be enjoying the right to be called legally married. Watch the this documentary at I-Witness, airing on Monday, June 30, 2008.
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[Conrado de Quiros on sex outside marriage, and gay love. As usual with de Quiros -- beautiful, beautiful article. Here's an excerpt.]

“The idea of a couple, married or not, having sex in order to procreate is hilarious. It conjures the image of them hard at it (no pun intended for the male partner), enduring the ordeal, determined only like soldiers pinned down in trenches to persevere out of a sense of duty and finally to break through in one great rush. What a perverse and joyless act that is. I doubt any Christian, short of an ascetic, will fill the bill.

“Whatever happened to love? Whatever happened to ecstasy? Whatever happened to two people, straight or gay, bonded by feelings that cannot be expressed by words, needing to express themselves to each other by flinging themselves into each other’s arms and surrendering themselves into a consummation devoutly to be wished? Surely that is part of the magic of life?

“Which brings me to the argument that the Church is not proscribing against gays, it is merely proscribing against gays acting as gays, or that it is not demanding that gays do not get attracted to other gays, it is merely demanding that gays do not act on it. I don’t know about you but I found Ang Lee’s “Brokeback Mountain” to be an honest-to-goodness love story, ranking up there with “When Harry Met Sally” and “Sleepless in Seattle.” Gays do fall in love too, and what I figure is unnatural is to compel them on the ground that it is perverse or that they cannot procreate to abort it. There is nothing more natural than love in whatever form it takes. Sex is not overrated, procreation is. Demanding that gays feel but not fulfill is not Christian, it is sadistic.”

[Thanks to Mugen for the lead.]

The Blue Unicorn is a blogger who just joined our Shining Glitters list at PinoyGayBlogs.com. He just wrote an entry that somehow ties with recent issues being tackled here at MGG. Read his story, lifted from his diary circa 2005, and share with him your thoughts.

It was about 6 months…6 months which felt like an eternity that I’ve spent with this guy…6 months of pure joy…. we never had any commitments, we were just each others emotional pillow, each others sexual pill…

But those moments abruptly stopped dead one day. And another day. And another day. i tried calling his cellular phone, but my call was rejected. He knew I tried calling. I had hoped for a follow up. But days passed. Weeks passed. A month passed. He just disappeared. Nothing. I don’t know if it was pride or self-preservation that kept me from bugging him. Which up to now, I know was the best thing I did. But my heart, waited. And waited. Like a forlorn lover. It had robbed me my heart. Until I didn’t want to use it anymore. My days went by without any emotions. Parang robbot ba. Kase if I start feeling anything, kahit awa sa officemate ko. I’d just feel pain. Pain together with a picture of his face, forever imprinted on my mind. I would always look at a black car hoping it was him. Every car park. Every road. My heart was mourning for the loss. It was like losing someone in the war, not knowing if he’s alive or not. What happened. And they are all bottled inside this tortured heart.

One day after three months. I saw him sa Alabang Town Center. Inside Tequila Joe’s. The world stopped and all the pain that I had kept inside wanted to burst and bleed inside the restaurant. I was with a group of straight friends. He looked at me across the room.
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Late bloomer – that’s the term we usually use to describe those people who explored their homosexuality a little later than usual. This is the case of JC, our letter sender for today. JC is set to get married to his girlfriend of 4 years early next year, when he recently met the to-be-wife’s gorgeous hunky cousin Daryl. In short, Daryl turned JC’s world upside down, and the to-be-husband is naturally confused. The question: should he risk his wedding plans to give himself a chance to explore his dormant homosexual tendencies? Or should he shut the feelings up, and go straight on with his heterosexual plans?

Hi Migs,

I chance upon your site while surfing today. Wonderful site for gay people. I feel so comfortable with your site. I was able to read the letter of fatboyslim and some of the advices that were given to him by your readers (some are rude) that I decided to share to you my problem and hopefully I will be able to get some advice from you and your readers.

I am John, friends call me JC, 29 years old and currently connected with a call center here in Ortigas. I have a girlfriend for 4 years now, and we’re planning to get married early next year. I love her for God knows how long, (we’ve been together since high school) and I know she will be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The problem started last December.
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Regular MGG reader and commenter “Fatboyslim” decides to share his story to us — he claims to be happily married but lives a secret “a-thousand-a-night” life with a former officemate. He says he already knows what I would tell him. How about you, what would you tell him? Read on.

Migs,

Good day to you and to all the readers of MGG!

Let me start off by introducing myself… Im fatboyslim, (thats the code that I use when I post comments here) 30 years old from Cebu. I got married last year to my girlfriend of 3 years, and I can say that I’m very much happy with the relationship.

I would like to request for you NOT TO PUBLISH my email address because my wife doesnt know anything about my other life. It took me a while to write you this letter, but after reading several postings and comments, I have mustered enough courage to compose this letter. (eventhough I kinda know what ur advice will be already)

Yes, I am BISEXUAL. Some others say theres no such thing as BI, but believe me there is. I love to have sex with my wife. She is the greatest girl any guy can have. She might not be as sexy (in short she’s fat) but when we make passionate love, its like bringing me to 7th heaven.

But the other side of me likes guys also. I love having sex with guys. Before when I was still single, I would frequent massage place just to get serviced by guys or giving guys BJ. I told myself that when I get married, I will stop whatever “sidetrip” that Im doing. Apprently it did not happen.
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Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.

dear migs,

i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.
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Hello Migs,

How are you? I’m an avid reader of manilagayguy.net. This blog helps a lot of gay people to share information and stories. This really makes you one of the best things that happened to the Filipino gay community.

Anyway I’m writing to you to share my own story and I wish to seek for your personal advice as I know that you are a very reasonable person with sound judgment. My story started when I was 13 years old. During that time I already knew that I was gay. Nobody knows within my family and circle of friends. I was invited by one of my cousins to attend a birthday party in their house. He was 21 years old that time. After the party, I told my cousin that I needed to go home since my curfew was 10pm. He told me that it was better that I stayed overnight as it was not safe anymore to go home. In short I spent the night in their house.
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Dearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.
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Hello Migs,

How are you? I’ve been religiously viewing your site everyday for one good reason – I just love shirtless, nude and sexy Filipino men. I am Ms. Venezuela, a well-known badminton player here in the country. I am exceptional as to height (at 6′2″), beauty and elegance, hahaha! Yes, I am girly looking (looong hair) and an eye-catcher. I am writing you now because I want to share my love experience which is also an exceptional one, i guess!

I had this relationship with a married guy for thirteen (13) long years. We separated just recently, just a couple of days ago. We had an almost complete kind of relationship except from the fact that we don’t live together under one roof. The guy is a family man and married for almost thirteen years also. I thought our relationship would never end, we have been the best of friends in everything. I can go out with other guys but of course cannot go to bed with them. He agreed to that kind of set-up since I accepted the reality that he’s already married. Yun na lang ang consolation prize ko.
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