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On this question — I am aware I’m very biased. I’m good friends with all my ex’s. From what I hear among my friends, this is not the case for many. This is, in summary, what our model-reader friend here is asking in his letter. Read on and share your thoughts. (I’ll keep quiet this time, as my answer’s quite obvious.)

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Dear Migs,

Im 23, around 5’7. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months.
the thing is, I have been single for 4 years before I met him.
yep, 4 years. yes, I would go on dates, i have M.U’s.
suffice to say, in that 4 years, there were a lot of people I dated and there were a couple who almost made me commit. but i never did. because i never commit half baked.

I’m a part time model, during one taping for a tv series, I met this other model, relatively younger than me. I’m 23, he was 20.

I thought we were just going to be friends, he will be handled by star magic soon (at that time he was with viva) so i never thought that he would be into guys.

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dear migs (aaaargh!),

i am a bit confused right now and thought, well, why not get someone else’s opinion? simply put, i started going to bed (twice now) with a friend and colleague of four years. problem is, we never talk about it afterwards, pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened. and we carry on as usual — good friends enjoying each other’s company. and i hate the uncertainty of it. what are we? friends? fuck buddies (hardly. we’ve done it twice lang)? friends with fringe benefits?

his name is josh and he was my former staff. i was attracted to him the first time we met in 2006 but i kept my feelings in check because my mantra then was ”wag magkalat sa sariling bakuran”. i am in my early 40s; he is 31. we quickly became good friends because we shared a lot of interests (of course it helped that he is goodlooking and funny and smart).

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Hello, Migs

I’m a 29-year old gay guy working as an editor in a multinational company. Everything in my life is pretty much in place: I have a stable job, started saving up for my future, a good health and well-being, I have passion, interests, hobbies, advocacy, and direction in life. I’m sociable, have a wonderful family and quality friends. I know where to go and is relatively happy and found joy in simple things. All these I learned (and earned) after crawling through broken glass, among other challenges and lessons in life that made me a better person.

But I haven’t dated or been asked out for over a year now. I thought that perhaps I should re-evaluate things that I need to improve about myself. But I’ve always trusted fate. That the universe will give me things that I deserve without asking for it.

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Is love enough for a couple to last together-forever? Let’s see! Ituloy natin ang balitaktakang no-holds-barred with Sam & Paul! Part 2 revealed a twist in this goodlooking couple’s lovelife. In Part 3–this part–the crescendo explodes to expose-level! This is the “O-M-G!” part of this series, where pointed questions, while offered, were unnecessary. Sam & Paul were just on a roll talking, inhibitions be damned, about the twists and turns in this sexual soap opera that’s their life. If you’re game and ready, put on your earbuds and listen! But if you’re linis-linisan like me and Gibbs, skip to the next post and pretend this fabcast didn’t exist.

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Fabcasters The Fabcasters are on a roll! Here’s another podcast by the Fabcasters and their well-chosen peanut gallery, on gray areas in the gay life. What is a gray area? Anlabo `no? Precisely! It’s neither here nor there, neither black nor white, it’s gray. We start discussing gray areas in the realm of relationships, “situationships,” popularized among the Fabcasters by Corp Closet. We each took a shot of lambanog before recording this session — so prepare for a rowdy set of Fabcasters!

Listen (24 min 38 sec):

Download this episode (right click and save – 23 MB)

Podcast production by McVie.

This is the part where Corporate Closet (CC) details the heartbreaking story and climax of the disappearance of his Talented Mr. Ripley. Sad, sad story. Made me think: how can one brain so sharp have a heart so gullible? But then again, what use is a heart that’s exempted from folly? This is a story not just a few can identify with. Listen (16 min 38 sec).

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Yes, you read that right! Gay guys with girlfriends. I mean, real girlfriends (oo, syota, as in.)

We have 2 main guests in this fabcast, both certified “men who have sex with men” (oo, sige, bakla na kung bakla) but… they are involved in heterosexual relationships. Get your knuckles crackin’ and listen to this hilarious, riotous podcast (we have a noisy peanut gallery, first time in a fabcast!)

LISTEN – this is PART 1 (23 mins 35 sec):

Download this fabcast (right click and save – 21.6 MB)

Credits: Podcast production by Mcvie. Music credits – “Mahirap Talaga Magmahal Ng Syota Ng Iba” by the APO Hiking Society; and “Another Girl” by The Beatles; and “Girls & Boys” by Blur.

The Fabcasters (Gibbs, McVie, Tony, CC, and yours truly) plus Kiko (is he gonna be a regular fabcaster?) talk about gay relationships, particularly addressing the question — paano nga ba magka-jowa ang isang bading? Saan ba magandang maghanap ng potential partner? Dapat ba hindi na muna mag-sex during dating para maging seryoso ang man-to-man relationship?

These questions, and many more, are answered in this fabcast. Go, listen!

LISTEN (30 mins):

Download this episode (right click and save – 28.8 MB)

“Hey,” he texted.

“Hey. What a pleasant surprise. I just got back from the US. How are you?” I replied. It was our first text conversation after almost 2 years of no communication.

“Okay naman. Eto, tatlo na ang anak. My girlfriend just gave birth. Hehe. Ikaw, kamusta?”

“I’m good, medyo di pa nakaka-adjust sa time zone. Buti naman naalala mo ako.”

“There are just some people that are hard to forget, Migs. Hehe.”

“Touched naman ako. Hey, we should get together soon. I’m leaving again in a few weeks, and won’t be back till before Christmas.”

“Viajero! Sure, let me know your preferred sched. Between us, you’re the busier one.”

“I’ll text you when. What do you wanna do when we meet up?”

“I don’t know. You, what do you wanna do?”

“Perhaps dinner, coffee, conversation…”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“And I’d like a kiss from you too. You okay with that?”

“I’d love that. Perhaps we should get some place private…”

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Yes, that was Attorney I was talking to over SMS.

Sigh.

Hello Migs,

To be honest di ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahan ang email na ‘to. Uumpisahan ko ba sa tanong?

Paminsan minsan ako nagbabasa ng mga sinusulat mo sa website mo. Nagka interest ako dun sa kwento about the basketball player that you once loved (?). Sa situation ko ngayon di alam kung pareho tayo ng pinagdaanan.

Sa isang sikat na liga ng basketball ko nakilala ang basketball player na nagdulot sakin ng sobrang sakit na kabiguan. May nag aalaga na talaga sa kanya dati isang taga showbusiness pero namatay na eto kamakailan lang. Sa madaling salita naging kami habang sila pa nung taga showbusiness na yun. Maganda ang umpisa ng relasyon namin. Open sya sakin. Lahat ng tungkol sa buhay nya alam ko. Dahil nga sa kami na, I supported him sa mga pangangailangan nya.

Sweet sya at thoughtful noong una. Pag di nagtitext, nagagalit sya. Sunod sunod ang text nya hangga’t di ako nagri reply sa kanya. Dumating ung time na I need to work abroad kasi very tempting ang offer. During the first few months maganda ang takbo ng relasyon namin. Regular texting. Kung nasaan sya nagsasabi sya at sinasabi rin nya kung sino mga ksama nya .Palagi ko sya tinatwagan sa phone. Sinubukan ko sya minsan, sabi ko tapusin na namin ung relasyon namin kasi parang mahirap ang kalagayan namin kasi masyadong malayo kami sa isa’t isa. Nagmamakaawa sya. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya dahil mahal na mahal na daw nya ako. Syempre, kinilig ako sa narinig ko kaya sabi ko sige subukan natin.

He informed me na may bago syang GF. He was happy to tell me na alam daw lahat ng GF nya ung sa amin. Para daw kahit magkasama sila makakapag text sya sa akin or matatawagan ko sya. As the days went on, parang nag iiba na sya. Napansin ko umpisa nung mamatay ung taga showbusiness na karelasyon nya nagbago sya bigla. Kinausap ko sya sabi ko bakit parang may nag iba na sa kanya. Parang mainit palagi ang ulo nya sakin. Dati ang mga text nya may “love” or labyu. Tinanong ko sya bakit ganun. Ang sabi nya busy lang daw talaga sya kaya ganun.

Isang madaling araw may mga missed calls ako from her GF. Kasunod nun mga text messages na masasakit from his GF. Di ko pinatulan. I called him up and told him him about it. Pero patay malisya. He even denied the number that his GF used was not known to him. But when I told him about the text messages from his celfon. Di sya nakapagsalita. Nagalit sya bigla sakin. Hanggang sa dumating ung time na di na nya aq tinitext. Pag tinatawagan ko sya binababaan nya ako ng phone. Masakit. Palagi mainit ulo nya sa akin. Tinanong ko sya one time kung mahal pa nya ako nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. Di nya daw alam. At ayaw na daw nya sa relasyon namin. Hirap na hirap na daw sya. Palagi na lang daw syang bad trip.

Nag makaawa ako sa kanya na bigyan nya ng second chance ang relasyon namin. Ayaw na daw talaga nya. Pero pinilit ko sya. Nag agree sya. Akala ko babalik pa sa dati ung pagtitinginan namin but it turned out to be a nightmare. May nababalitaan ako na palagi sya lumalabas ng isang gay businessman ng patago kasi ang tunay na alaga nung businessman ay ung star player nyang ka teammate. Tinanong ko about it lalo syang nagalit. Wala daw pala akong tiwala sa kanya kaya dapat daw tapusin na namin ang lahat lahat. Dahil daw sa akin ang dami daw nawala sa buhay nya. Pati GF daw nya iniwanan sya dahil sa akin. Pero hanggang ngayon kung ano binibigay ko sa kanya tinatanggap pa rin nya. Mahal na mahal ko talaga sya Migz.

TAMA BA ANG GINAGAWA KO? Dapat ko pa ba ipagpatuloy ang kabaliwan kong ito? Did you feel the same way with the basketball player you had before?

I need your advice badly. Please? Thank you.

Sincerely Yours,
        Lakers

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Dear Lakers,

You asked, “dapat ko pa bang ipagpatuloy ang kabaliwan kong ito?” Alam mo Lakers, hango sa sabi ni Ate Maria, “ang kabaliwan hindi bine-beybi… Pinapatay.”

Huwag ka ng magpa-dribol-dribol pa sa mga eventualities na yan. Tama na ang panahon at perang ginugol mo kay Basketball Player. Napasaya ka naman niya, kinilig ka pa nga (at naihi ng three drops?). Maging thankful ka na lang sa mga nangyari. At isara mo na ang kabanatang iyan ng buhay mo, na may luha mang dumadausdos sa iyong pisngi, may ngiti namang namumuo sa iyong mga labi. Hugasan mo ang poot, palitan ito ng shining, shimmering splendor.

A new life awaits you, kumare. Marami pa tayo diyang mapapasayang lalake. Kung ako sa iyo, magkukulong lang ako sa banyo ng mga 21 minutes, inga-ngawa ko lang ito ng bonggang-bongga, tapos maligo ka. Maghilod, magsabon, ulitin pa ng 2 beses. Kunin ang shampoo. Wet hair, shampoo, rinse, and repeat. Mag-conditioner. Habang naghihintay ma-cure ang conditioner sa hair, sambitin ang mga salitang ito – “I am beautiful. I am lovely. I deserve beauty. I deserve love.” Ulitin ito nang mga 3 minutes, oo paulit-ulit, hanggang ma-cure ng husto ang conditioner sa buhok. Rinse thoroughly (para di magbalakubak sa anit.)

Step out of the shower as a renewed person. Ganyaaan. Ganyan nga. At huwag kakalimutan ang dapat ginagawa sa mga kasawian sa buhay. Ikembot lang yan at i-ngiti.

Nagmamahal,

Migs

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