Manila Gay Guy
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I was having lunch with a female colleague last week, and we came to the topic of why she — at 30 — is yet to be hitched. She said something like:

Andami na kasing bakla ngayon. Kasi naman, nag-iisip na ngayon ang mga lalake. At dahil nag-iisip sila, at alam nilang nagiging accepted na ngayon ang mga bading sa society, eh nagpapaka-bading na sila. Yan ang hirap kapag pinababayaan mong mag-isip ang mga lalake. Dapat di sila pinag-iisip.

I almost fell off my chair when I heard this. (Almost, because we were sitting on the floor, Japanese-style, in a Japanese resto.) What a novel idea. Isisi ba ang pagdami ng bading sa pag-iisip ng mga lalake? Pero come to think of it, may point ang hitad.

More and more men are beginning to question their true sexuality. Unlike in years past, I would say people in general, and men in particular, have felt being given permission to rethink what they really want for themselves, disregarding (though not totally) what society would say. A sort of silent liberation from the shackles of the world’s societal expectations. So, continuing on with my lunchmate’s argument, when allowed to think, men go off and do what they really want. And sometimes, what they really want is to be gay.

Nakakatawa pero hindi ba totoo naman? Dumadami ang bading kasi mas nabibigyan ng puwang ang mga lalakeng mag-isip nang para sa sarili nila. Isipin mo na lang noong panahon nila Jose Rizal, siguro napakarami ang mga klosetang bading na di man lang nagkaroon ng chance maging totoo sa sarili nila. Andaming untapped potential energy, na kung sana’y naipon eh mas malakas pa sa nuclear bomb ang pagsabog. Tiyak blasted away ang mga Padre Damaso at sanlaksang Guardia Civil noong mga panahong iyon.

In this modern world, dahil na rin sa teknolohiya at internet, mas marami na ang (kahit na patago) nabibigyan ng chance i-express ang kanilang tunay na sexual preference. Sa ganang akin, hindi naman kailangan talagang mag-out sa buong mundo ang bawat bading. Kanya-kanyang sitwasyon yan, at kanya-kanyang diskarte (kaya dapat walang basagan ng trip, di ba?). Pero kakambyo rin ako sa pagsasabing ang mas importante ay hindi ang external announcement regarding one’s sexual preference. What is much more important is the internal acceptance of one’s self. Dito talaga sa tinatawag na self ang energy source. You bottle it up, and it becomes so difficult to tap and thus use productively. Deny it of its natural need to be expressed, then it manifests in some other, perhaps uncontrollable, unwanted way.

Masaya ako, realizing that my blog, this blog, has in some ways been instrumental in facilitating the expression of homosexuality among some gay men. Kesyo patago or out-na-out, regardless of age, social strata, physical appearance, height, weight, dimension, and complexion, many of our fellow gay men have found some way to connect to their real inner selves, as well as to many other kindred souls through MGG the blog. I know of some experiences of “great awakening” among my readers, and when I learn about their experiences (through emails they send me), I can only feel so blessed to have been given this golden opportunity to be the Manila Gay Guy. Such sweet responsibility.

So, tama ba si lunchmate sa kanyang mga kuru-kuro ukol sa sanhi ng pagdami ng bading, and may I add, sa paglaganap ng gay consciousness and preference? I would say yes, at sana nga ito ay dahil sa mas masusing pag-iisip ng mga kauri natin. Mas maganda naman talagang mabuhay na may choice, lalo na kung ang choice na ito ay pinag-isipan nang mabuti imbis na inihain lamang ng lipunan.

At sa inyo, aking dear readers, what do I ask of you? I ask you to be a little bit less judgmental, and a little bit more compassionate, especially sa ating mga kapatid na bading (o pinagsususpetsahang bading). The world is cruel enough, let’s not add to it. Instead, fill it with a little bit more love through more understanding, and more compassion especially to our brethren who share a similar life journey. Iba’t iba nga tayo ng uri ng pagkabading, pero in the end, all of us need a companion with compassion.

Concretely, what can you do? Appreciate your gay friends more, express your gratitude outwardly, it’s always good to hear when one is appreciated. For those whom we think are gay but are confused, give them some space, perhaps that’s what they need to let more oxygen flow into their brains, and thus make the right decision for themselves. And for those of you who are in the closet, push yourselves more to respect and applaud our out-and-about gay brothers or sisterettes. They are, after all, courageous souls whose flames burn bright, and whose light may just as well guide our own, maybe different, life path.

And so as I always say, World Peace! Be well my friends.

Migs

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