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2456065971_abeb760907Hi Pre Migs!

Dumating na time ko to tell you about myself. I am happily married with one kid. I’ve been working abroad for more than 15 yrs na. Since pagkabata, I know myself na may pagka-berde ang dugo ko, pero since then I’ve kept it to myself, the other side of me. I have a very loving and understanding wife, ika nga, what more can I ask for?

Before I got married and even while married, I had relationships with the opposite and the same sex. Ganun siguro pag malayo kayo sa isa’t isa ng asawa mo. My wife kasi is also working outside the country, nasa US siya. Ako naman, nag-Saudi for 4 years, then went to Dubai where I worked for 10 years. Year 2005 when i went home to Pinas and decided na di na bumalik ng Dubai.

Noong nasa Pilipinas na ako, okay ang lahat kahit wala ang asawa ko (nasa US nga siya). Dahil doon, natuto ako na makipagtext with the same sex, and makipag-meet and, the usual, have sex. Going to massage parlors, gay bars and Fahrenheit ang naging hobby ko.

Early last year, I came to the point na gusto ko nang magpakamatay sa sobrang guilt ko dahil sa kasalanan ko kay God and to my wife. Parang di ko na kaya. Pero God was still there to help me. May of last year I got an email from a friend in Africa asking me if I want to work again pero sa Africa nga. Sabi ko sige para new environment and para matigil sa mga ginagawa kong mali dyan sa Pinas. Sa ngayon, nandito ako, solo sa Africa at nagta-trabaho. Pero honestly hinahanap-hanap ko ang mga boys dyan sa atin.

Till next time. World Peace!

Your Pre,
JAKE

* * *

When someone approaches you, a gay man, married with a wife and perhaps a kid or two, saying he feels guilty yet he clearly has a penchant for men, what do you do? What do you tell him?

Do you tell him: stop your philandering and be straight with your wife! That he should deny his real self coming out because he has committed himself to a woman?

Do you tell him: it’s okay, be yourself.That he has to prioritize who he really is, and that his marriage to a woman was in the first place a mistake he made out of foolish thoughts and assumptions?

Do you tell him: you’re a fuckin’ mess, you son of a bitch! This to a man who has enough self-hatred as to even consider suicide?

Do you tell him: hate the sin, not the sinner. This to someone who may not even be able to distinguish between the two? Because much as he tried for years to pluck out the sin from the sinner, even marrying a girl in the hopes that his being gay may just magically fade away, the sinner is still left sinful and, the sin not a tad faded but as clear, even more, as it has ever been before?

Tell me, dear friends in this blog, how do we deal with gay married men?

dudeprechong1

Hi Migs,

Grabe ang article on “Abrazos with Joseph” ha. Parang 24.. I am sure that many of us are anxiously waiting for the next part. But you know, parang mas happy if it will not end with Joseph admitting that he’s gay. Besides, parang it will not lead to that naman, the way you had cut it between chapters. My guess is it is about another thing. Paduda ka lang eh. Heh heh.

But whatever the outcome of the third part is, just like many of the reactions I had seen, sobrang nakakakilig the way you wrote it. (Lumabas ang pagkabading ko, promise………….). Really Migs, (and as corny as this may sound……..) I think that you had touched many of your readers’ hearts.

I really just started following through your blog on male massage but I noticed that I was getting hooked in simply reading and browsing through interesting pictures, and comments. And interestingly, the most amusing and exciting observation I made about these postings is…………..MUKHANG MALI YATA ANG TITLE NG BLOG NI MIGS. HINDI DAPAT MANILA GAY GUY. Pucha, Migs, eh parang mas madami kang blogsters and fans na “straight”, “straight-acting”, or even “straight-aspiring” ah (I myself included, so promise po, no pun intended ang statement na to……..). Can you imagine people describing themselves as “mas astig pa nga ako doon sa masseur……..” OR “parang nasarapan yung masseur sa akin at mas malambot pa kumilos”, OR “nahiya lang ako magsabi kasi lalaking-lalaki ako sa office…….”

I know that despite the apparent openness of Manila, parang madami pa din na who would rather just keep it inside. I am married (with kids) and continue to have a healthy sex life with my wife. On the other hand, sans the guilt in the beginning, over time, I had already overcome this and now live a relatively comfortable life. Yun nga lang, only one person really knows about my other side. (The funny thing is when the people I meet in MGG ask me who knows, ang usual reply ko is one person lang, but if you will add all the masseurs that had done service, eh hehehehehe, parang pwede nang mag-organize ng cocktails. hahahaha)

I kind of envy you when you say how much relief being open has brought to you. Syempre, despite the enjoyment from whatever I do, parang mas masaya if you at least share it with a few friends. The way i see it, parang madami like me who would rather just really, really keep it to themselves. After all, “manageable naman……….” In one instance in Sanctuario, I saw this ex-colleague in the lockers at sa sobrang sindak ko, hindi ko pinansin only to regret it after. He looked like he wanted to connect pa naman. And to think that we are exactly of the same feather. I know his wife and (many of his) kids. I saw him the last time and he kinda avoided me na.

I have this funny thought that one day, you will organize an event for straight-acting people who are bold enough to even slowly take the chance of opening themselves up to others. Then in the event itself, lahat ng dadating, may basket sa ulo. So parang reunion ng ku klux klan or ng hukbalahap.. 🙂

Cheers Migs.
Ton

* * *

Dear Dude, Pare, Chong, errr… Ton

Basta’s masaya ka kung nasaan ka, kung saan mang kulay sa rainbow mo gustong magpa-slide-slide, hangga’t ika’y nasa tama’t walang inaalipusta’t inaapi, pasok ka pa rin sa banga. Mahal ka ng sangkabadingan. Sabi nga, unity in diversity.

May nag-comment dito sa MGG, pare-pareho lang naman daw ang mga bading, na ang nagbibigkis sa atin ay ang ating kagustuhang makasubo ng ari ng lalaki. I beg to disagree, mga ateh. Walang iisang hulma ang bakla. Walang nagbibigkis sa atin. Wala. Kung meron man, ito ay ang kagustuhan nating intindihin at suportahan ang bawat isa — sa bawat liko, lalim, at tarik ng ating mga pinagdadaanang bonggang-bonggang buhay. O-ha!

World Peace!

Nagmamahal,
Migs

I’ll be out for a while. Here’s a recent letter I received — unedited, verbatim. Read and help our Dubai boy while savoring the rock-hard midsection of this 21-year-old hunk from Cosmomen 2008, Ryan Garalde.

Dear Migs,

Greetings from Dubai!

I am a straight-acting gay guy. I became more discreet here because I was afraid that I might find difficulties to find friends if I show my other side. I don’t have relatives or even friends that know me that can help if in case they will not accept me. Everything was new to me and everything was so hard pretending to be like others.

After a year since I came, I woke up one morning on my colleague’s arms after a long drinking session. He was Richard, (I thought) a straight-acting like me. As far as I can remember he initiated everything.

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