The movie, Cinemalaya 2008’s most-awarded entry and rated “A” by the Cinema Evaluation Board, talks about the unfabulous topic of death, and an OC woman’s (Mylene Dizon) 100 raging things to do before kicking the bucket. The fabcast mostly talks about Chris’s experience in making movies (both writing and directing), in the indie scene and mainstream.

So I thought you guys would like a feature on an icon of success for us PLUs — here you go then, listen and learn, mga ‘teh!

Listen to the fabcast here:

Download the podcast here (right-click and save).

Watch the trailer here:

100 chronicles the last three months of a cancer stricken woman who has a list of things to do before she dies. Her list of tasks, mostly closures and practical undertakings, expands to the worldly and the spiritual as people close to her share her last days. The film examines the betrayal of the body, celebrates the senses and contemplates the end of life and how to live it. A light-hearted, briskly paced, youthful take on a classic subject, 100 stars today’s most exciting performers — Mylene Dizon, Eugene Domingo, Tessie Tomas, TJ Trinidad, Ryan Eigenmann, Simon Ibarra and others. It is written and directed by Chris Martinez under the creative supervision of Marlon Rivera.

“100″ is going to have its commercial run in theaters starting Dec. 3. Watch tayo, go!

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Troikasters Out, Fabcasters In! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, your gay podcasters are baaaack! And,...
2. Closet Badets Meet the Fabcasters! Listen once again to the young, restless, and closeted...
3. Interview with Chris Tiu Chris Tiu is the shooting guard and team captain of...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Just wanted to commend on the success of your blog, Im one of the regular readers and comfortable reading your entries and comments and personally waiting again for you to buzzed me again when you’re in my area (San Francisco). I never thought that one day I will write to ask for an advice.

I joined a Christian community to a thought that I can be change, not….. though im trying. Just when I thought I will live a straight life when I met in the community Mac-Mac just a regular guy and not my usual type as I described him to my friends. But the guy is oozing with sex appeal. Then I remember a saying that you will never find your ideal person but instead you will be given the opposite of it and I think he is the one. Not my ideal but yet i like the person. Now the catch… he is straight again straight!

We first met and introduced in a sports bar January this year, and first topic that we are talking our girls from the other side of the pool table. Well I have a fair share of stories and gigs when it comes to girls. Then what bonded as most is a common hobby of ours, photography. One day I was surprised when I received an instant message on my messenger from him. Since then we will exchange IM’s all day we will chat anything as in anything under the sun. We will talk about our ex gfs, he even introduced me to one of his ex GF in LA. Then voice chats from the time I step in my office down to the time I will be off we are talking. We even have a pet name for each other (which instead of calling ‘pare’, ‘dude’ or ‘bro’) we had created one for us.

There are 7 guys in our group (barkada) it is usually you have a favorite friend among the group. One day he teases me that I was always linked with the other boys (its our internal joke) then I joke back saying “so nag seselos ka?” then he bluntly said “no” then I fired him back “meron ka naman roy ” (roy one of our barkada) he didn’t say anything.

As we go along, our friendship become closer and closer we will fight with simple things, he will let me know when he feels discomfort physically and emotionally, from saying goodbye and ingat when we are departing. Our friends are noticing it because when we have misunderstanding they will notice that we are not talking to each other and they would joke us that we are having LQ. One of the guys described it as (Hindi na lang kayo mag papansinan bigla pag katapos naman para kayong mag syota pag nag kabati) we will just laugh around.

The mixed signals, im not sure if im interpreting the signals wrong but I know I can differentiate regular buddies body language from those with a meaning. He always complain about me of having short attention with things then I joked by saying “hayaan mo pag nagging tyo ull have my undivided attention” then we just both laughed. Then few days after that he asked me “can I have your undivided attention” then I asked him “bakit tayo na ba?” then he said “no” I replied “binu-busted mo ako?” then he laughed and proceed to his question. We have a lots of incidence that are really mind boggling and it can go long with this email.

Migs, I had played this game with other straight guys and prove that they are bi and others just died down and stayed as friends. Im starting to like wait let me say LOVE mac-mac. Day by day its growing, the pressure is building up here in my heart, I want to tell him my feelings but im afraid that it will be turn down and worst we wont be friends and what will our friends will say when they found out and the community that are totally against same sex relationship.

Hope you or your readers (if you choose to post this) can share their point of view on these.

Thanks!
Supladong Pogi

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. 10+1 Tips: Seducing a Straight Guy It seems that one of the more popular posts...
2. Falling in Love with A Straight Guy Here is a letter written by a fellow Pinoy gay...
3. “I want to be straight!” Chinito, an MGG reader, sent this letter, and is asking...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I’d like to share my own experience, though too long for the viewers’ eyes. This is something unbelievable and could make for a good script for a movie that it could even rival the story of the Brokeback Mountain. Just to find release, I’d like to see it posted in no less than Migs’ site, so that others may be enlightened or inspired, or of whatever purpose it could serve to the readers. More importantly, my story opposes that of the twink-hungry and abusive PLU (gay) teachers’ usual portrayal by the media. Let me do it by way of using Southborder’s famous songs and the songs I’d love to listen to.

For reasons I still don’t know up to this moment, after graduation and passing my licensure exam, a former professor invited me to consider teaching in the University. I felt surprised and flattered just the same. Initially, I turned him down. My profession has nothing to do with serious teaching. Working abroad has always been the sole option for us graduates of this course. Then after some serious considerations, even with my parents’ utmost opposition to what I have decided on, I told myself why not give it a try. After all, I knew I have what it takes to be a teacher.

Before the opening of the class, I primed myself and readied for the job ahead. While I fret the thought of being in front of students and try to look a master on the subjects I was to teach them, it made me excited that at long last, I would have the say at how students should be best trained to become good professionals. Being an idealistic that I am/was, I have set a standard for myself: I’ll just simply teach. No more, no less.. I have promised to myself I wouldn’t get too personal with students.

RAINBOW

Off to my scheduled classes I went. My first few days teaching were mostly consumed at trying to give an air of what a terror teacher is. I bombarded the students with quizzes, journal readings, recitations and the likes. I was getting successful at it. They could not reconcile the thought that a teacher who comes to classes in Chuck Taylor’s and was always in good looking appearance was at his strict-as-he-could-get mode. Sometimes, when I remember this moment, I laugh at myself trying hard to appear strict. No student would dare approach me and establish rapport with. (for a more colorful depiction of my life as a young teacher, visit this blog that I created: www.angtitchera.blogspot.com)

Until somebody dared to. He was the block’s leader. And one of the better-looking students in my classes. I have often contacted him thru sms and gave him instructions on what his block should do every meeting with me. He was my college crush, I have to admit. I have good recall as to how I tried to make a girl friend ask him his number in the guise of some student council interest when I was a college senior then. But I never texted him. So it was a shock seeing him attending my class, and leading his blockmates.

I was thrilled by the thought of exchanging sms while appearing professional in dealing with him. During college, I have had girlfriends. I haven’t outed myself to close friends. Until my BFF outed himself to me and persuaded me to do the same. And I did. Going back to him texting me, we initially exchanged sms dealing with class issues only. We would often ask me about the block’s next meeting assignment and activities. Or I would do the same to him; instruct him to do something for the block.

IKAW NGA

Then I wasn’t able to contain myself. For reasons of convenience, I transferred to a nearby dormitory, just some steps away from the University. I was always left alone by dormmates who were college bestfriends.. During the nights, I would often feel I was by my lonesome. So, to cut the story short, I would make papansin with mr. class leader by sending him wrong-sent sms. And he would respond to it gamely. Until we became textmates.

Weeks passed, we found ourselves talking over the phone. That night was the beginning of it all. He was the first to admit to have a crush on me. I almost jumped out of the couch after hearing it. Of course, being the teacher that I was I never admitted to him that he was my crush ever since college. Questions like doubting his intention for telling me about it came to my mind. What if he was just trying to play it with me? But the night we talked was more of a night of revelation. I was able to know all about him, even his age. I was shocked at knowing he was older than me. It was the best telephone conversation I’ve ever had. And from that night, I knew I found my match, after some long years of looking for it.

We managed to be as-usual while inside the classroom, as if we never talked personally and exchanged intimate details about ourselves over the phone. It made me happy. And I never even bothered of feeling flattered by female students flirting with me, obviously or un-obviously.

Two days before my birthday, he texted me: “Sir, happy birthday! Mwah!” and I naughtily replied with: “Kiss lang?!” It was silence after. Then, a reply came: “Where is your dorm? I’d like to drop by”. Oh boy, I almost fainted at the thought of him visiting over.

HABANG ATIN ANG GABI

Then it came. I opened my dorm’s door for him. He was with some of the best foods he could bring, knowing that he cooks very well. It was as if we’ve known each other for so long already. He even brought picture albums that he’d like to share with me. We talked and laughed at our stories until 3 in the morning. Of course, we have to go to sleep. Or so I think.

While Southborder’s Habang Atin Ang Gabi was playing in my desktop PC, we shared the night. It was my first, while it wasn’t his, and he was really good at it. The background music was fitting with the moment we were sharing. Yes, it was bloody for me. But I didn’t care. After it, we exchanged I love you’s. It was my first time to have ever smiled before retiring for a sleep.

We became an item. We managed to think of ways of making our relationship discreet. Only bestfriends should know, was our first rule. We would only date kilometers away from the University, unless we want to be caught by other students who were more than willing to probe what the snub-looking teacher is doing with a student.

Inside the classroom, we were the usual teacher-student set-up. Except for two chosen classmates, nobody knew what we had. Every day, I was always in bliss. I looked better, as students noticed. It was then that more admirers came to me, mostly of course female students. Some were just admirers, while others came to a point of obsession. But I never cared. I had what I considered then the best lovelife I could give myself with..

WHEREVER YOU ARE

Then I started to loosen up inside the class, and was starting to smile more, courtesy of him. Students who were die-hard fans would invite me often for a date. I did it with some of the female students, just for the spirit of goodness. But, take note, he would drive me and bring me to these dates. While dating, he would pass by and inspect the girl. He would then text me: “Chaka naman nyan, tapusin mo na agad yan. Haha!” Then I would smile.

Being a first-timer, I was always emotional. I was always intimidated by the stories he told me about his exes. It wasn’t blissful always I was trying to believe. I became vulnerable to temptation too. A day after a very heated argument over one big deal of an issue, I gave in to a tempting invitation by a college friend.. He was a college crush also. He knew it too that I have just outed myself.. I gave in. Then guilt found its way on me. I admitted it to him. He was furious. He even threatened to embarrass me inside the classroom. I panicked. For days, we would often exchange fingers pointing the blame at each one.

Still, we managed to reconcile. He still accepted me. His love for me did it. I was thankful. Where on earth could I find someone like him? I was really, really guilty. How could I do it to him? Yet, because of what I have done, every time we would have some arguments, I was always reminded of the day I diverted from our paths. I had it from him for almost more than a year. It pained me. But then I have to take the consequences of my action. And I knew it then karma will find its way on me.

ONE AGAIN

And it did. The days came when I found him treating me coldly. I wasn’t suspicious at first. Until a friend who was just more than concern told me all about why to my surprise he wanted to leave me. It was because of a schoolmate, younger than both of us. And of course, looked better than us. I confronted him about it. He was in denial. He just told me he wanted some relief from me. Until finally after some crying and begging from me, he admitted it. I slapped him in the face. Real hard. I knew he was hurt, but I was more than hurt.

It was so painful that I almost saw death coming my way.. My BFF came to the rescue. He would accompany me wherever I wanted to go, and listened to my musings about my life with him. My boyfriend was my student, and I was replaced by a student. I begged him to comeback, almost looking desperate at my attempts to do it. But my pleadings went to deaf ears.

I almost cried in the campus seeing them being together. I felt it unfair. While we were together, we just couldn’t be seen stroll the University by our lonesome. I told myself I have to move on. But it was hard to do so.

KAHIT KAILAN

As I was trying to feel ok, to move on from the experience with a student, he then realized he loves me more than his new one. He was trying to beg for me to reconsider. For the love of him, I did consider a second chance for us.

My parents, who are devout Christians, had an inkling of what/where I was putting myself into. I was more than once confronted about it. Each time they did it, I denied it ’til no end. They wouldn’t believe me. I left our house, with great conviction that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just being myself. My love for him did it.

At the University, students started to notice my unusual closeness with him. I have never attended birthdays of students, except of him and his close friends. So to speak, it ignited suspicions among students. In fairness with me, I have never played favorite, of him and his bestfriends in the class. Grades were grades, so as scores. But his intellect often surpassed my expectations of him.

For two years we were together, secretly dating, hiding from the suspicions from not only by the students but college officials as well. It was a roller coaster ride, but it was well worth it. His close family members knew about us and wouldn’t care a bit. It made me happy, and he never complained about me hiding him from my family. I thought it would last a lifetime.

DI KA PALA DAPAT

His vulnerability once again attacked him. While he was at a student convention, he met another student that would make him feel special, one thing I just ignored at doing because I was busy being a professor and attending to my Master’s class. I knew what was happening. And it need not come from him. When I sensed something was terribly going wrong, I broke up with him.

I knew I made a good choice. I was enjoying my professorial job, on my way to finishing one of the hardest Master’s degrees in the University, and enjoying financial stability from part-time works on the side. I told myself it’s about time to move on from this experience: student love.

I was successful at it. I felt left alone again. But then I was able to rise up, thanks in part to my select BFFs who rescued me when I was feeling thrashed. I knew something bigger was on the offing. I knew I could make it: him leaving me on a highway journey and left me looking for somebody to pick me up in that highway. I thought it wouldn’t happen.

And it did. I was glad it did.

ALL MY LIFE

To my surprise, the first person to rescue me was another student. She made me feel ok again. Yes, she’s a she. She’s someone every guy in the university would dream of having. She’s one of the finest ladies in the university, a girl you’d be proud at bringing home and introduce to your parents. And your parents will be happy for you. She’s of that type.

But I never looked at her that way. She was a student for two years, second and third year. From the start, she has always made it apparent of her feelings for me. She didn’t care at admitting to close friends that I was her ultimate crush. One thing I couldn’t believe. Guys are drooling for her. Varsity players would always ask her for a date and even guys from outside the university as well.

She turned them down. For her, I was the end-all-be-all of a guy she would love to love. While I was deeply even love with my former boyfriend, she would always bring me gifts from her travel abroad and even invited me more than once for a friendly date. But, outside of her knowledge, I was in a relationship with her classmate, her block leader. Yes, they were classmates. And good friends at that.

She would often tell to my former boyfriend her feelings for me and how much she looks forward that I’d get to be single and ready for a relationship with her. My former boyfriend would just smile at her. In his mind, he would say “He’s mine. Go dream girl.”

One time, I went on a date with her. Of course my former boyfriend knew about it. While we were conversing, me asking her some corny stuff about studies, I noticed she was busy texting. Then, I found out, she was texting my boyfriend. She told him how happy she was for having to date me. Then I told her we couldn’t be what she expected us to be, that I already loved someone. She was hurt, she told my bf. I was just honest. I couldn’t be in a hetero relationship, I told myself. And I am deeply in-love with my former boyfriend.

Fast track after a year, my former boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and a dirty one at that. It was in one of the classrooms in the University that we exchanged dirty tirades. We thought we closed the door. Then, when it was getting messy, somebody knocked. It was her waiting for me. She heard it all. I walked out.

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

Months passed, I was already convinced I had to let go of my relationship with him. All throughout my agony over a love lost, she comforted me. She never left my side during my crying moments. In one of those moments, I blurted out: “Sa babae na lang kaya. Try ko lang.” Then we laughed.

It was the start of being together for almost every day. She would wait for my classes to finish every time I was teaching in the University. We exchanged text messages and called each other on the phone every night. In one of those conversations, I asked her why she had rejected the guys crooning her. She narrated how bad her last relationship was. I told her if we’d always spend the days together, the guys courting her would think we’re an item.

I thought she just loved my company, her knowing my sexual preference. But, one day, she told me, she was falling in love with me. As in serious love. I told her I don’t deserve her. She’s clean. And neither does she deserves me, she belongs to the guys falling seriously for her.

GOT TO BELIEVE

Then one night, we became intimate. At the end of it, we exchanged I love yous. She wasn’t hard to love and like. She’s beautiful. She’s one of the best students in the University.

Of course, what we had had to be discreet too. The University maintains its stand against teacher to student intimate relationship. Only her bestfriends and mine knew what was going on between the two of us. My BFF was skeptic, and even humorous. He never expected I’d enter into such a relationship. My only justification was: she knows it all. And she doesn’t care a bit.

Without my knowledge, she was secretly contacting my sisters and my mom. Initially, I wanted to make it secret even to my family. I didn’t want them to think that I was just using her to cover up from their suspicion about my sexuality. But, to my surprise, she had more than once visited our house without my knowledge.. She’s too loving that even my family loved her like she’d be a wife to me.

We went on with what we believed a love that knows no condition, and doesn’t judge. I was myself with her, I never have to pretend.. She was ok with it, and never complained.

SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME

It was a challenge for us to make it a secret to the University. But we faced more challenges than we expected. First, it has to be a secret to my former boyfriend, them being good friends and for fear of retaliation against us. Second, her friends were furious and skeptic about what we had. And third, it was myself that became a problem. I have more than once opted to walk out of her. I just felt like she deserves more, and that more is not me.

It was really a struggle for me to remain faithful to her. I was longing for the kind of intimacy I had with my ex. I was longing sex with another of my being. It was hard. And really tempting. That the more I reject the idea of it, the more it gets to my system. In some moments, I gave in and guilt would always find its way on me.

We were together for two years. I always hated the feeling that while she was loving me with all hearts, I was secretly texting my ex, and flirting with other guys. It was hard. My former boyfriend found out about us. He ridiculed me. Saying I was out of mind for having an affair with her.

LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK

Until I decided to end it all. She was hurtful. She was waiting for the time we’ll get married. I was hoping for it too. But I couldn’t stand disrespecting her secretly. I just knew I’m not cut for it. It had to be somebody. I told her she’s young, urban, rich, and beautiful she can find someone of the same type. I cried saying it too. I love her. Sincerely, believe me. It’s just that I’m not for it.

Now, I’m single again. But I’m anticipating karma would find its way on me. I have hurt her beyond her knowledge. I still nurture the guilt until this moment.

But I am optimistic. That in spite of what I have experienced in my four years of teaching, of having a boyfriend for two years and deviating to having a girlfriend for two years, I knew I had the most colorful life a teacher could have. I don’t regret any of the things that happened to me.

I am still waiting for the right time to come for me to settle and be happy. I know it will.

- Red

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. To tell, or not to tell… To tell, or not to tell… to die everyday, or...
2. The First Noel (a true story) I can’t even remember now how Noel and I first...
3. I Have a Husband… and a Boyfriend Hello Migs. I have been a subscriber for a...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Do you remember your first pride march?

I do. I’m sure we all do. And if you haven’t had the opportunity to participate in one yet, this year’s the perfect time to do so.

This years Pride March is a tribute to our rights, our lives, our loves and our selves. It’s also the celebration of the 10 years of Filipino rainbow pride. It’s a perfect 10 for the success of the past pride marches, and the anticipated one of this year’s. Hence, the theme is A decade of dignity: our rights, our lives, our loves, our selves.

The Pride March is known for its overwhelming attendance. It attracts thousands of participants and generates extensive local and international media attention. This year’s Pride March is also more particularly significant as it coincides with the celebration of the 60th year of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the launch in Manila of the Yogyakarta Principles (www.yogyakartaprinciples.org), an international declaration which affirms that sexual orientation and gender identity and expression as fundamental human rights.

But we can’t do it without your help. Community member or supporter, we could all contribute to make this year’s pride march a milestone for our country’s history.

How you can help

There are a lot of ways to help. Right now, the Task Force Pride in the process of organizing and mobilizing the actual march. Tentatively slated for December 5 or 6, the actual march will be surrounded by a lot of activities and programs.

I, together with my friends from Lunduyan ng Sining am officially in charge of the program committee and so my first call is to find people who will:

1. Perform – we are in need of program performers. Any act or talent you want to share is welcome! These will be for the pre-pride party (tentatively slated Nov. 29, 2008) and for the post-pride program (right after the pride march of December 5 or 6, 2008). If you feel you can bring it, contact Peach at 0917-5392742.

However, there are a lot of other ways you can help too:

1. Volunteer – we are in need of volunteer committee members. If you think you can help in any which way possible, please drop us a line at tfpmanila@yahoo.com or tfpmanila@gmail.com.
2. Help us gather funds – Task Force Pride has always been operating through the funds of generous donors and sponsors, as well as contributions of the participants. If you have contacts of rainbow-friendly individuals, companies, donors, sponsors, bars, etc., please let Dee know at divamanila@yahoo.com or 0918-2507470.
3. Contribute – if you can contribute yourself, in terms of finances or even a venue for us to hold our programs and briefings, let us know! Contact Dee at divamanila@yahoo.com or 0918-2507470.
4. Participate in the march – If you need more information on how you, your organization, your friends or your family can participate in the march, contact Bruce at bruce.amoroto@gmail.com. (See the call for participation)
5. Repost this call! Help us spread the love. Feel free to repost this entry onto your own blogs, or send it to your friends, officemates, etc.

How you can keep updated

While we are in the process of finalizing our website, you can keep yourself updated on what’s going on by logging on to www.pridemanila.wordpress.com.

Thanks and we hope to see you at the march!

Peach Natividad

for Lunduyan ng Sining

Program Committee Head

Taskforce Pride 2008

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Pride March on December 9, 2006 On December 9, 2006, Filipinos who embrace diversity and...
2. Tara Na, Volunteer Na! Wag nang magmaganda, wag nang magpatumpik-tumpik pa! The LGBT...
3. How Will You March Your Pride? “I’m a butterfly! I’m a pretty little brown butterfly!!!”...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I was listening intently to the workshop facilitator, he was intense and passionate yet almost oblivious to the power his words held. I knew he was about to say something important. And then it hit me, that question, “is there anything in your past that you have intellectually set aside — and yet, emotionally, you know it’s still there, bothering you, blocking you, preventing you from being your best self?” It hit me like electricity zapping into my chest. It zapped to life something I held dormant inside.

I know myself as someone who, if the situation called for it, can be very clinical about things, even with my personal experiences. Given, however, that chance to go back and fetch some unprocessed memories, and the threat that perhaps unconsciously, my blocks come from those I’ve arrogantly intellectually set aside — I was just so ready to admit that yes, there is this one simple emotional memory that is still there lurking, bumping, jiggling inside me. And now it is making its way to my consciousness — and I am just guessing — for a reason.

What is that emotional memory?

It was this: an aunt, chubby, with fair rosy white cheeks, but pimply, shiny and oily, her head crowned with brown curly locks, and her puckered lips unnaturally bloody red, exaggerated with cheap chappy lipstick, talking to my mother, saying, almost complaining, this fateful remark:

“Bakla ba yang batang yan? Bakit parang ang lamya yata?!”

Yes, my aunt was referring to me.

She was referring to me, at 6 or 7 years old. Yes, me.

… me, who from then on, started to resent her presence, and her voice, even if she was mouthing about something so different from that fateful remark.

… me, who started getting jitters when I knew I would be attending family gatherings because that meant being in the same place as her.

… me, who at that tender age, started to overcompensate, to unconsciously put myself on overdrive so that when they talk about me, they will say something else other than my being gay.

… me, who then eventually went to become the “family genius”.

… me, who is the only one in the clan that would be able to win 2 high school scholarships, and eventually go to the prestigious Philippine Science High School.

… me, who is the only one in the clan that would eventually go to the flagship campus of the country’s premiere State University.

… me, who is the only one in the clan that would eventually graduate with honors and more.

… me, who is the only one in the clan that would eventually be applauded by an international audience of Ph.D.’s, industry experts, and topnotch academicians when I presented my graduate thesis work, that eventually was published as a paper in a respected scientific journal.

… me, who is the one in the clan that would eventually be the family’s “poster boy” of success, everyone’s go-to-relative when their pockets run empty and the needs pressing.

… me, the boy who was still my aunt’s prisoner many years after hearing those fateful words.

It took just that powerful nudge, an invitation to look back and examine my blocks. It made me recognize the existence of that one emotional memory that made a prisoner out of me. While it fueled my drive to success, I realize that that happening now deserves to be put to rest. That from now on, I shall be operating on a much more aware and purposeful level. That success to compensate for my sexual preference should be no more; that my journey in this world should not be about hiding my homosexuality by the bigness of my success — rather, I should travel my journey simply to be the best I can be, to do the best I could, for my own growth, my self-actualization, and for sustaining my capacity to help, to give of myself, to be a relevant, significant, contributing, and functional member of the society I am in.

I wrote this post in the hopes of paying it forward. I am so edified with the process, and thought that maybe you too can learn a thing or two about yourself by asking that same question. “Is there anything in your past that you have intellectually set aside — and yet, emotionally, you know it’s still there, bothering you, blocking you, preventing you from being your best self?”

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Homo-emotional = Homosexual? I have asked permission from Elmer, our letter sender, to...
2. “Gays Go To Hell!” If we believe what the traditional Catholic teachings say about...
3. The Case of Pendulum Sexuality There are so many names for confusion, well because...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Here’s a gay relationship advice from Jim Sullivan, well-known dating and relationship coach, with 25 years coaching/counseling experience, highly regarded advisor and mentor to the LGBT community:

The first key to be being a successful gay dater is: no sex for the first three dates. Cry. Scream. Curse me. But you’ll see it works. Wanting sex is as natural as wanting to eat, but intimacy cannot be rushed. It takes time to know someone. Too much fast food can be harmful to the body, and too much fast sex can be an impediment to intimacy.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. I Have a Husband… and a Boyfriend Hello Migs. I have been a subscriber for a...
2. Searching for Love and Sex There’s this saying, don’t look for love, it will...
3. Same-sex Marriage in California I-Witness’ Sandra Aguinaldo goes all the way to California...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Hansen “Sen” Nichols of Taguig is “The Cancer Survivor” of the second season of Pinoy Dream Academy. He is 24 years old, turning 25 on October 21, 2008. More on Sen below. (from PinoyDreamAcademy.ph)

Place of Birth:Burlingame, California, USA
Height:5’10”
Weight:155 lbs.
Racial Descent:Fil-am-Spanish-Irish
Civil Status:Single
Educ. Attainment:B.S. Economics
School Attended:University of San Francisco
Interests (other than singing):Dancing
Favorite Singer:Justin Timberlake
Musical Influences:Martin Nievera, Ariel Rivera, Gary V., Stevie Wonder, Justin Timberlake, Enrique Iglesias, Babyface, Jenner Mallari (a friend), Mom, and my Ate
Discovering my voice: I remember my Mom would sing at parties and family gatherings and everyone would watch her and it inspired me to want to sing.We discovered my talent before I was in Kindergarten.
First song I ever performed: If I remember correctly, If Your Not Here By My Side by Menudo.
Musical instruments I can play:When I was in elementary school I took violin lessons and learned how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.On Piano I learned how to play SwanLake.
Musical instruments I’d like to learn:I want to re-learn playing the piano or keyboard and the guitar.
Greatest Achievement:Being able to finish college despite doing (cancer) treatment at the same time
Biggest Failure:Not making it into PDA Season one
Greatest Dream:To be successful, rich and famous by way of the entertainment industry, and to go into business
Songs Of My Life:Angels Brought Me Here, This Is Now
Quote Me: “I’m very passionate about music and show business. I’m here at this level of the competition because I’m living my dream rather than just watching others life it. I have every reason to quit through rejection, but I forged on and made sacrifices, which is why I’m here today.”

Notes on Sen:
For PDA fans who have followed the show since Primer 1 Season 1, Hansen Nichols is not a new voice. He made it to the NCR leg but failed the final casting during kick-off. “I almost gave up,” he confesses. But like the true survivor that he is, he wouldn’t take failure seriously. If he could succeed a tough fight for a second chance at life, surely he could claim a better opportunity with PDA. So when Season 2 auditions came, Sen did not hesitate to join once more the long lines of hopefuls and subjected himself in front of the judges. This time he passed all stages of the competition for a scholarship slot.
US-grown and educated, Sen could have picked any job at any corporation anywhere in the world but he sacrificed stability to pursue a yet-uncertain career in music. But the dream that started way back when he was a small boy watching his mom sing at parties, and which burned alive in his heart even through a near-fatal brush with cancer, is too strong to ignore.

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Do you want to star in a musical? Do you want to be a star? Auditions for...
2. Who is this hunky Justin Cuyugan? HUNKS, HUNKS, HUNKS! It’s raining hunks once again, ladies and...
3. PETA Summer Workshop Here’s a plug from a dear MGG reader and friend...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Blogger siya.
Lalake siya.
Pero ang trip niya… mga bading.
Boytoy nga daw siya.
Pero di siya bayaran.
Lubos at tunay niyang minamahal ang mga bading na karelasyon niya.
At ang message niya sa sangkabadingan…
“to all the gays out there… i’m all yours…”

The first time I read Agent Boytoy’s blog, I was hooked. Ang galing! Unique voice, interesting characterization, and engaging storytelling. Light and bubbly, pero alam mong may lalim ang manunulat behind the blog. That was my first impression of him as a blogger. Pero I have to admit, like most of his readers, nakiliti rin ang imahinasyon ko. More than his being a blogger, pinagpantasyahan ko siya as a person. As a guy who actually falls in love with gay guys sans the typical financial benefits. Eh bakit naman hindi ako magpapantasya? Heto mga pictures niya.

At sabi niya sa blog niya, GUWAPO siya. Eh di lalo pang tumibok-tibok ang puson… este puso ko. Tapos ito pa ang mga pinagpo-post niyang picture niya:

Parang takatak ng keyboard sa bilis ang tibok ng puso ko… pagkatapos dadagdagan pa nito…

San ka pa? Heto ang isa pang nakapangingilig ng kalamnan (sorry pinutol ko na ang bottom part ng pic kasi medyo censored talaga):

So tell me — sino ba naman ang di maaapektuhan?

And so secretly I harbored this burning, seething desire… sana naman makita ko yung mga original / raw photos niya… yung walang blur-blur… yung kita lahat… lahat-lahat… ng mukha niya… haaayyyy… pero siyempre, nangibabaw ang dalaginding factor. Pa-conservative ang lola ninyo. So, I contented myself with just featuring his blog, particularly that really cute Valentine Story he wrote about him and his gay lover. Nakaka-in love ampotah! (Excuse my French, mademoiselle) Pero yun nga, the dalaginding in me was saying — umayos ka Migs, may asawa na yan. Bawal landiin. And so I did what my conscience told me to do. I stared, but at a safe distance. Tingin at tanghod, but no touch. That was my resolve, and I was successful. Until…

One day I was dropping by his blog, and was surprised with what I read:

Matagal ko itong pinag-isipan. Pormal na ako magpapaalam sa inyo lahat. Masaya ako na sa maikling panahon napasaya ko kayo.

O-M-G! Si Agent Boytoy, nagpapaalam na! He’s quitting, no more blog for him. Haaaay! Sayang naman ang blog ng online crush ko! So taking advantage of this extreme development, and just to put some closure in my mind and in my heart, I violated my resolve. Imbes na stare from afar, I mustered all courage to contact him via email. Pero safe email ha. In-encourage ko lang siya. Referring to his online detractor(s), sabi ko:

Hi Agent Boytoy! Don’t let them affect you. Keep on writing. Keep on writing. Keep on writing. ~Migs

Di ko na in-expect na sumagot ang Agent. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, marami siya masyadong fans. Sino ba naman ako para pansinin niya. Eh inulit-ulit ko lang naman yung “Keep on writing” sa email ko. Walang kuwentang email dabah? In short, para di ako masyadong feeling-era, I did not expect any response from my online crush.

Siyempre di ko naman sasabihing “I did not expect any response from my online crush” kung talagang hindi nga siya actually nag-reply sa email ko. Waley naman yun. Hayun, actually the same day I sent him that email, may reply na siya agad. He explained why he was quitting blogging. Ako naman, nagpupumilit magpa-cute sa reply. Sabi ko cool ka lang, kesyo maraming malulungkot (including yours truly) kung talagang ituloy niya ang paghinto sa blogging, etcetera, etcetera. It was an exciting exchange. I felt like I was a teeny bopper all over again, exchanging emails with my uber-crush. Teeny bopper kasi sweet nothings lang naman ang exchanges namin (I was being safe, kasi nga may jowa siya no!).

Kaso, isang araw, in one of those email exchanges, heto ang natambaran ng long-hair na lola ninyo:

hi migs, it’s me again. pagbalik ko from vacation, i’ll treat you for dinner. sana free ka first week of june. basta my treat! ~ agent boytoy

Sabay nag-cartwheel ang puso kong mamon.

[continued here]

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Going Intimate with Agent Boytoy [This is the continuation of the previous post entitled Agent...
2. Agent Boytoy – the conclusion [This is the conclusion of the previous posts entitled Agent...
3. The Rendezvous with Agent Boytoy [This is the continuation of the previous post entitled...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Hi Migs,

Let me start off by saying that I am an avid reader of your blog. Love the photos of men, the articles, the letters and most especially the comments that people give! Ang saya saya ng comments ng mga utaw at very lively ito (kung paminsan, eh ang mga commenters ang mismo nag-ookrayan). Gusto ko sanang i-share sa iyo ang aking istorya at sigurado ako na maraming bading ang makaka-relate. I have always been an active guy. Mahilig ako sa outdoors, sports activities, adventures at all-around good-natured trippings but I have a guilty pleasure. I go after straight men. Ika nga ng mga ka-tropa ko eto ang “market” ko. Mind you, I don’t go exclusively after straight men. I’ve had very long-term and rewarding relationships with other gay men, pero getting straight men is the spice in my life.

Some of them have been unexpected and unplanned encounters while going on scuba trips, a run around the park, mutual jack-off session kasama ang barkada sa iskuwelahan etc…. but most of them, and these are what I’m really “proud” of, are the looong and calculated “preys”. Yes, it usually takes months bago handa na sila “i-harvest” and yes mas-marami akong unsuccessful attempts rather than successful ones, still eto talaga ang trip ko at eto ang latest tripping…..

Nakita ko siya sa local gym. New guy, not really your typical good looking guy but was above average, looked innocent yet there was something about him that just caught my attention. Nahuli ako ng ka-tropa ko nakatingin sa kanya at binatukan ako. “Wag mo ng pag-planuhan yan, straight yan. Sumali siya last month, hatak ng girlfriend.” I shrugged. “Gago, anong akala mo sa akin? Lahat na lang pinagtritripan ko?”. So we went back to our training with my friend shaking his head and giving me knowing looks.

“Uh pre, share sa machine?” Those were the first words I heard him say. “Sure”. Mga isang buwan rin kaming ganyan. The few words that we exchanged were brief and direct to the point. No small talk. He had his gym buds, I had mine. One day though circumstances were different (o ika-nga ng kaibigan ko, the stars aligned). His buds weren’t around and mine were not as well. “Pare, pa-spot”, and so we trained together. Eh ako pa after gym eh tinatamaan ng gutom. “Chong, gusto mo kumain ng hapunan? Wala mga barkada ko eh at wala akong kasamang kumain pagkatapos ng workout.” Oo na, i-aadmit ko, siyempre may ulterior motive ako, kahit na alam ko na may girlfriend siya at nakikita ko na magkasama sila sa gym pa-minsan. This was a window of opportunity that I would not let it pass without at least trying. “Kadalasan sa bahay na ako kumakain….pero sige.” This signaled the end of us knowing each other a little more than as a passing acquaintance at the gym.

Time passed. Palagi na kaming sabay na kumakain ng hapunan everytime his friends and mine were not around, it wasn’t often but it was enough for us to get know each other more and be comfortable. Mga 4 months na rin ang lumipas nung una beses ko siyang nakita sa gym….As usual, kumain kami ng hapunan. Kadalasan sasabay na sa akin yan papuntang sakayan pero sa pagkakataon na ito eh may i-memeet siya sa mall na malapit sa gym. “Uy, gusto mo manood ng sine? May tatlong oras pa akong papatayin bago dumating kaibigan ko eh.” Nope. Wala nangyari sa loob ng sinehan. Clean fun, just two buds watching a movie. Two weeks later, ako naman ang walang gimik after ng gym so ako naman ang nagimibita manood ng sine kung wala siyang gagawain. Nagkataon wala rin yung gf niya at bumiyahe for work. Since sabado ng gabi yun, eh nagdesisyon na rin kami maginuman sa isang bar after ng movie. Nothing playful still. After ng inuman eh naisipan kong pag-tripan ang mokong….

Nang ihahatid ko na siya sa sakayan eh tinamaan ako ng kakulitan. Trip lang. Nag-detour ako sa lugar na maraming motel, at ipinasok ko sa isang may garahe, yung mga puwedeng i-drive through lang. I did this fully expecting him to say something. In fact I already had a playful retort in my mind. Ako yung na-surpresa at wala siyang sinabi. Walang imik. Ako yung na-tense. I didn’t say anything. I parked into a vacant garage and said to the attendant “3 hours lang.” I didn’t look at him, pero from my peripheral vision eh nakita ko na tulala lang siya. He didn’t look my way and didn’t say a word.

I went down the car and he followed me. As we entered the room, he went to lie on the bed and just turned on the TV. Nag-yosi muna ako at umupo sa may lamesa at nakatingin rin sa TV. Silent movie kami (we were both silent the whole time)….the show on the TV wasn’t even registering in my mind. I just saw random images flashing in front of me. I finished my cig and went to wash my face and gurgle. I took off my shoes and sat beside him. Turned off the lights, but left the TV on. No words but it was defeaning. I moved to touch him. He made no move to resist. I moved to kiss him on the lips. He moved his head to avoid the kiss. I kissed his neck and ears instead. He was still staring at the TV. I made a move to remove his shirt. He obliged. I started to kiss his nipples. He started to shiver. He closed his eyes and he was shaking (lumala ito ng sobra later on hangang tinamaan ng cramps yung calves niya). Ang tense ng katawan niya. I took a pillow and covered his eyes with it. I could feel he wasn’t hard yet but he was getting there. I took a moment to pause to look at his half-naked body. “Ganda mo! Yes dear, you still have it!” I shouted to myself silently. Tinawag ko lahat ng aking powers to make sure he enjoyed his obviously first night with another guy. The night ended with how it needed to end. All the while silent.

*For those asking, no, there was no anal sex involved nor was he actively participating but it was, none the less, HOT! No, there are no illusions on my part that there will be a relationship in it. In fact we don’t even text each other. Truth be told, I don’t think I would have welcomed it if it would come to that. No, we do not discuss what happened or much more the whys of it. It is enough that we both enjoyed. Yes, we still see each other at the gym and we act as if nothing happened or is happening. Yes, when the stars are aligned, we do it and yes all the while still silent during (though not before or after).

So ayan ang latest adventure ko….. I’m sure marami dito ang may kanya-kanyang adventure. Kuwento naman kayo para masaya.

-Chinoy straight chaser

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. I love you, straight friend Here’s another true-to-life story I read in a forum....
2. Wanted: Straight Acting Gays Over late dinner in one of those fancy restaurants in...
3. Gay OFW + Straight Tambay Here’s a letter, a cry for help from one of...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.

Remember that you didn’t choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it’s sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour – it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn’t any need to – being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.

Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel – or let yourself be – pressured into believing that you should “change your ways”. If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that “helping homosexuals to become heterosexual” is possible, and treatments to “change” sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.

Develop and express your individuality – if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it – you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.

Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can’t accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: “I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It’s my life, and I choose to be happy”.

Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.

Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live “out”, it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don’t go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others – there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can’t please everyone – and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can’t accept the one small facet of who you are that is your sexuality, and can’t still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren’t worth your time or letting it bother you, because its not your fault that that person can’t accept it.

[Source: WikiHow]

Like

Unlike

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Homosexuality: a matter of choice? I’ve heard Gibbs tell this apocryphal coming out story many...
2. To Be or Not To Be (Gay) To be or not to be gay — that...
3. It’s Raining (Str8acting Gay) Men! First it was Gus, the gay man who has...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.