Manila Gay Guy
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Dear Migs, I don’t know you personally except through your blog. And amidst the titillation and the good advice through the experiences through your blog you have touched my life. I don’t believe you to be an expert, let alone a role model. I prefer a friend. At least a friend can cry with you, or at least laugh with you, foibles and heartache, bad judgments and triumphs. So please keep on being yourself. I don’t think anybody should ask more from you than being you. Though megalomania and messianic prophecy aside, I think you really are special. – Sam

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Thank you, Sam. I needed that!

Here’s a series of letters I received from someone who calls himself “ILoveAlec” a Pinoy gay guy in Malaysia.

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Hi Migs,

I’m a big fan of your site. I always read whatever you put there. I’m the guy that hates drama hehehehe. I’ve been wanting to write you for the longest time but can’t find good story to share until yesterday Nov 8, 2008.

I’m currently in Malaysia for a short visit. Yesterday I went to see the Petronas out of curiosity because I’ve been hearing a lot of good words from people who see it and also from the movies.

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Hello Migs. I have been a subscriber for a couple of years – in fact, when you started your chat box, we got to chat for a bit. I’m from the Bay Area, you told me you lived here for a while. Well, I finally have reason to write you a letter – the title says it all.

Yes, I have been partnered with “Dee” for 10 years now. He’s an American, a lawyer, divorced twice (he thought he was bisexual, but finally came out gay and wouldn’t have anything more to do with women), and have been told that he has Richard Gere looks. I agree. We met when I was still living in Manila and he was visiting for a conference. It was love at first sight, a la Miss Saigon. But like Chris leaving Kim, he left too – only, he came back a year later.

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Hi Migs,

I bet you might be tired of getting emails about guys being in the closet, but reading some of the letters on your blog I muscled up some strength to ask for just assistance, I’m actually looking for like a support group for people like me, or others like me (confused, troubled, down-low, closet). I’m just a regular working bloke and can’t afford a shrink, I’m living independently both of my parents passed away already, and as for support of my brothers & sisters that’s another story.

I always try to brush away this dilemma of mine and think there are way more serious problems in this world we live in and just be content that I have a place to sleep, food to eat, money in my pocket, stable job. But then..(I know it sounds like a cliche)..for the past 30+ years of my life there’s like a big sack of dirt in my shoulders that I’m trying to lift each and every single day, trying not to drag me down.

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If there’s one thing this past week that made me stop and think, ponder and reflect, it was Charlie’s letter.

I’m Charlie, turning 27 in a couple of months. I’d like to share my story with your readers… I found out about my condition (…) last year. I’m HIV positive.

His was the third I received this August, talking about being HIV-positive. His letter simply rendered me without anything to say, at least temporarily. I didn’t know how to react. It was overwhelming. I thought, if I fire off sweet, encouraging words, will that really help? Will that really make Charlie feel better about his condition? If I start playing the role of a cold jaundiced preacher, lecturing on lessons learned from Charlie’s experience and perhaps advocate “safe sex” till the cows come home, will it really make a difference? I don’t know.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have sent in their messages to my mobile (+63-915-869-2229). I apologize for not being able to reply via text — I hope you understand. Rest assured I’m reading all your text messages. In fact I’m publishing some of those I received so far. Again thank you, nakatataba ng puso ang mga messages ninyo. Keep `em coming! Mwah! World Peace!

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Nutella, our featured reader-lettersender, asks Migs if it is okay to have a boypren-boyprenan, a trophy boyfriend, someone to help one get by emotionally, mentally, and physically while waiting for Mr. Right. The naturally conservative guy in me shouts “noooo!” as the idea violates the sanctity of a relationship based on true love, and therefore (in my mind), exclusivity brought about not by unbridled selfishness but by the soul’s innate need for a unique and singular focus from the other party. But because I have a healthy skepticism of my own opinion, I’d let you dear MGG readers share your own, perhaps contrary, opinion.

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Hi Migs,

Greetings of love and world peace! Let me start by saying that I’m a big fan of your blog. Through it, I have gained more knowledge and a better understanding of what it’s like to be a gay man. I can safely say that I’m a well-experienced gay man myself. By well-experienced, I mean that I have, at least once in my life, tried most of the things that gay men can only imagine (or dream of) doing.

Inspite of and despite my experiences, I still consider myself a lonely man. I have been through a lot and after my promiscuity stage and 3 failed relationships, I now belong to the Tribe of the Jaded. And this is where I come to you to seek advice and ideas from you and your readers about my current state of mind.

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If nega comments were flying bullets, then that Attorney post has pretty much riddled me to death. But no worries, dear loyal MGG readers, Migs is still alive and kicking. And smiling.

Thank you to all my loyal supporters, those who have expressed their support to my person. Thank you to my real-world friends who know the real score, which is the exact same thing I publish here in my blog.

To those who think my stories are incredible, yes they may be incredible, incredible but true. Let me say this just once, let me say this now: I do not fabricate stories here. Not my stories.

To those who reacted violently to what happened between Attorney and me: thank you for your honesty. I respect your strong principles. I have no excuses for what I’ve done (and what I’m doing). I live and learn, live and learn, live and learn.

And lastly, to bitterness and lies — I know you not, for I choose the path of truth, goodness, and beauty. Thank you and World Peace!

Here’s a ‘thank you’ note from one of our podcast listeners… nakakataba ng puso. He relates how his friend dealt with a 13-year-old son who comes out to him. Thank you for sharing this little note of appreciation. I am sure my fellow fabcasters are all in awe with your friend’s words: “mas napamahal sa akin ngayon ang aking anak at mas naiintindihan ko ang mga nasa loob niya.” Honestly, I feel like crying. Pramis.

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dear migs of mgg,

it’s a bit out-of-whack of me to say this considering it’s super-late, but it is only recently that i got to listen to your podcasts re: coming out (part 1, part 2, part 3).

i sent the podcast files to a close male friend of mine and he listened to all of them. you see, he’s a father with a 13-year old son who he suspected was gay and he has seen being very much troubled. (the boy just came out to his father this morning. and my friend, the father, didn’t go to work to spend the day with his son.)

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Yes this is once again a reflection post…. a post reflecting on Migs’ singlehood, by far, the most intimately personal sharing here in MGG. Thank you for coming to my blog these past months, or weeks, or days… I feel so blessed to have a blog like MGG, and an audience as diverse, fun, and smart as you… feel free to share your thoughts on this post.

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Have you ever experienced, while pondering on a very difficult puzzling question in your life, a sudden burst of clarity of thought, a perception of reality by means of a surge of intuitive realization? While driving along EDSA last night, I was thinking, “Why am I still single?” And that was the seed, that most powerful question that would bring me my epiphany, a eureka moment of sorts.

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